Tag Archives: harmful

REAL Love IS REAL Work

There are three quotes I’d like to share with you that I have been thinking about today:

 “Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.  Love is a battle.  Love is a war.  Love is a growing up.”

James Baldwin

 “Love is an ENDLESS act of forgiveness.”

-Peter Ustinov

 “All things that exist in truth exist forever.”

-Marianne Williamson

Most people don’t understand that in all their relationships they are the decisive element.  We decide whether or not to be offended, to be loving, to be kind, to be vindictive, to be generous, to be forgiving…other people do what they do and we decide how to react to that.  The mainstream seems to teach us that love feels good and that it makes you sappy and happy all the time and if you are unhappy then you must be in a bad situation be it romantic or otherwise…and so we have created a culture of folks that walk away from jobs and friends and relationships when they stop feeling “happy”…

 What if real love was REAL WORK?  What if loving your job, your kids, your friends, your relationships, your house, your pets, your country, your neighbors meant working to recreate that happy, sappy feeling day after day?  If we thought or understood that loving is really an endless act of forgiving and giving then wouldn’t we change the way we think about it?  Consider that the real purpose of us all being here together is for soul growth and not for personal gratification or indulgence of the senses…consider that perhaps it is your job to use your relationships with people to further humanity as a whole instead of just using them to see what you can get for yourself…

 Imagine a culture in which people put other people before themselves as a practice instead of just once and awhile to prove that they are not small selfish clods of ailments and grievances.

 So many people that I know spend SO MUCH time worrying about who they can be with and what they can get out of it…people always seem so amazed at the way that I take care of the people around me, they think me so generous…the truth is that I was taught early on that it isn’t about me…it is about what I can do for whoever is around me…it is about serving humanity to make things better for everyone…if we all lived like that what a different place this would be.

 I wish that people would think prior to just reacting…I have a good friend that is recently divorced and every time his ex-wife pushes a button he reacts…he isn’t about serving her, he is about what a XXXXX  she is being…I have a news flash…she will never change…he will have to change.   Those people in your life that you believe deserve whatever it is that you are serving up to them…they are not really the ones being harmed by your behavior—you are.   Your angst, your anger, your hatred, your unkind words…all those things you feel are valid…all of that just comes back to create chaos in your own life…negativity breeds negativity—universal law—always true…

 I realize that we are not all going to start running around being nice to everyone and handing out flowers in orange robes…and I have my moments where I express my own disgust for people, places and things, however I catch myself and I know better and I keep trying to do better…that is all I am suggesting, that we think, that we look to see how we can forward the action of things instead of killing them with our negative actions and words…

 The first step to changing any behavior is to first recognize it—you can’t hope to shift something that you can’t even bring to consciousness…

Divinity In Action-Loving The People That Have Harmed You

Christmas Countdown, Day 15

People tend to review things at the close of the year…and often that leads to thinking about people that have behaved less than stellar toward us…so here are a few of my thoughts on that…

The being able to stand in the face of someone that has betrayed you and love them and bless them is a great gift…this is Divinity in action, this is the stuff you can’t learn from books…these are the lessons that come from looking into ourselves and seeing how we can emulate God-like qualities…loving the people that have harmed you as you love the people that are easy to love is a level of mastery…this loving is called unconditional love and it is the way that God loves us…no matter what we do or how horrible we are God loves us still…shouldn’t we be loving each other in that same way?

That really is the only thing we have to take with us from this life—the way that we love each other…you know that saying, “you never see a U-Haul being pulled behind a hearse…”

God-like qualities are lessons in forever; the rest of it is just fluff… Oh and loving them doesn’t mean we need to stay around them or let them continue to treat us in ways that don’t work…just to be clear some people need to be loved from far, far away…

Power Of Words And Their Affect

I am wondering today if people really understand the power of ‘words’, do people understand that their words are living breathing pieces of consciousness that go forward to either harm or to help?  This week I had another experience with a person that uses their power of words to hurt and to wound and to cut the legs out from under the person that they are attacking…this person has done so much damage with their word power, caused so much distress, wreaked so much havoc…one might think “oh they are only words”, however, wish to admit it or not words have an incredible power…they run over and over in your head and that gives them extensive amounts of life after the fight, after the conversation, after the attack…

There are words both kind and unkind that still run through my head from years past…every once in awhile a sentence said resurfaces and along with it the emotions that were present during the interaction…I’m sure this is true for all of us…we are all aware that you can’t take back words…you can apologize, but you can’t undo them…once they are out of your mouth the damage or the gift is done.

I wonder if this person that I know of feels happy after they have systematically punished and attacked the ‘enemy’—do you think they look in the mirror and feel glee for the hurt and harm they have caused?  Or do you think they have a heavy heart from being the cause of so much turmoil???  I really wonder…

We all have moments where harsh and harmful words escape our lips, we all have things that we wish we could take back, we have all done damage by allowing reactive words to escape us unchecked…hell I know I have…in my younger years I had a much harsher tongue than I do now…I have learned over time that mostly it is best to stay quiet when reactive and angry…much more class, style and grace in standing down and walking away then in engaging in a full-fledged assault…when unkind words are flinging people can’t hear anyway…

I think people do the best they can for who they are and when we encounter a person that is hurtful and harmful it is best to stay away from them for no amount of us yelling and screaming and counter-attacking is going to help them at all…it just feeds their reactive nature and brings more chaos…

There is an incredible amount of power in forgiving and moving on…it is a very freeing practice…

This week this person that I know of has helped me to remember that words are alive and they can either bring harm or help, break-down or build-up…and for that I thank them…

We all need to think before we speak and really decide if the harsh words we have to share are worth the damage that they could do…so think today before you send that email or make that phone call or write that letter, make sure that whatever you have to say forwards the action of life…God knows there are enough wars that we are fighting with real enemies, we don’t need to be fighting each other…