Tag Archives: guys

I Am Not A Guy’s Girl

I am not a guy’s girl….

A few weeks ago I spent the bulk of my weekend with one my favorite human beings. As we do we talked about our daughters, work, relationships and music.
My favorite human being is 6 ft 2 and thoroughly enjoys making me blush. As with the majority of my favorite human beings – he’s a he. I’ve known him for five years and what started out as a guy giving me tattoos who yes,I thought was a bit cute … turned into well – one of my favorite humans. This last time he made me cry as he gently scolded me on all the reasons why I should never be anyone’s second thought. The needles helped the tears lol.
Early on just by virtue of the neighborhood we lived in,the majority of my friends were boys. That did not mean however I didn’t play with Barbies or dress up. It just meant He-Man usually made an appearance and the elaborate braids my Mom put in my hair didn’t make it ever much past first recess. It also meant when in fifth grade a boy punched me in the stomach on the playground and my neighborhood brothers from another mothers were informed he never bothered me again. Neither did anyone else.

It also made dating pretty much impossible. My Mom was overprotective enough(a blog for another time) throw in the neighborhood boys… my one and only date in high school was arranged by my Mom. I went to homecoming with a guy friend and prom with a bunch of girls.
This might have been cause for concern heading into college except out the gate I became a little sister for a Frat.

My big brother who worked for my Mom and had known me since I was 16 introduced me this way: “this is my little sister Caprise I know her Mom.
Then I met the group of men- who honestly who have set the standard. They are my brothers from another mothers. They are the guys I did college radio with. The only reason I think I got offered a shift at our college radio station was because there was only one other woman on the air. I,however fell in love with it. As a shy girl who loved music I found my happy place and my people. I switched majors and never looked back.

The irony of this is for part of this time I lived in an all girls hall. So please don’t misunderstand -I have best friends who are women too. And it’s pretty sad when I hear women say I prefer male friends over woman friends- less drama. Maybe you’re just hanging out with the wrong ladies? I’m gonna say you are…ANYWAY…These guys were there for me through some pretty crazy stuff….and 20 plus years later STILL ARE(!)

I was dating new boyfriend when the old boyfriend decides to kiss me in front of everyone and declare he’s not over me. I get back together with old boyfriend who proceeds to sleep with the woman who hosts the morning show when I don’t. They both brag about it. Which results in a physical fight in library mall on campus between boyfriend and guy friend.

Boyfriend dumps me but can’t decide if that’s what he wants for over the course of a year.
An abusive relationship
Lots of really bad dates, lots, and lots
Getting passed over for way too many radio gigs
Getting married
Having a baby
Getting divorced
Changing careers
#cliffnotes

Through it all they held my hand. They have hugged me while I cried. Taken care of me when I was sick. Never once are they surprised by anything I share and they always believed in me. We tell each other we love each other. We’ve seen each other at our worst and best and still like each other.
Some of my favorite quotes from my guy friends:
“His taste in music was horrible.”
“Girl you glowed up.”
“I didn’t like his shoes.”
“Well he didn’t read.”
“You are the in majors he is in farm league.”
“Why wouldn’t Henry Rollins date you?”
“Well he’s an idiot.”
It means always having dates for various functions. Making up really bad nicknames for the men I dated…Sorry they still do. Being incredibly kind and hand me tissues when I lament I can’t seem to meet anyone. Everyone I meet is broken… that IS a blog for another time.
Letting me sob hysterically on the phone when I tell them I’m afraid I’ll never get married again after a man I was seeing forgot to mention he had a girlfriend.

There are always the awkward questions people ask about my relationships with my guy friends. I’m not doing that here. Out of respect for them. Me. Their incredible families…
But no a thousand million times no.

They are incredible and their amazing partners have become my friends. I have bad news fellas -if I ever have to pick sides …. lol
When I was pregnant my best guy friend and his very new girlfriend (now wife) drove an hour to meet my new daughter. No one else did that.

When I separated from my ex husband my other brother from another mother and his wife stayed with me on the weekends my daughter was gone. No one else did that.

When I finally decided to leave the man I had been with for six years after he lied about who I was to his family – my sweet friend “brother” listened to me as I sobbed and told only him the truth.

Calling me on my birthday to wish me a Happy Birthday because a Facebook post doesn’t seem right. Talked to me for four hours at a radio seminar.Take road trips with me.
Went with me to a funeral. Helped me pick out an outfit to wear to host an event

They have never complained about the amount of T-shirts my mascara has stained.
They always pick up the phone. They always text me back. They never tell me to get over it.

They are my brothers and they love me, quirks and all.

I feel the same about them.

~Caprise