Tag Archives: guests

The Kitchen Is The Place To Be At Our House

The Kitchen…. I finally bought a house about 3 years ago for my kids and I. I bought it thinking that everyone would have their own room and it had a family room in the basement. I thought this would be great, all of the kids could play and hang out. Do you think they ever use it? NO! I just didn’t understand it at first.. I would almost push them into the basement to use it. For the love of God, why do they not use this nice family room…

But my kids love to be in the “kitchen”… the kitchen is the place to be and it’s what I love. Growing up, I would hang out at my best friends house with all of her sisters and their friends. It was great and I loved it. I have such great memories of all the fun we had throughout high school. Late night movies, laughing, games, and telling stories.. That is what I remember.

After I had my kids, I wanted to have the house where my kids hung out out with their friends. I wanted them and their friends to feel comfortable and loved at our home. And I finally have it…I love that my kids friends feel comfortable in our house. They will get their own snacks or know where I keep all the glasses. I love that they know how to unload my dishwasher and clean up after themselves. Sometimes they do it better than my own kids. I love that my kids friends will go play with one of my younger kids than their own friend. I love that they have sleepovers at my house all the time

My house is nothing special, it’s older and outdated. However, they don’t seem to care and I love that. It means that kids don’t really care about all the material things, they just want to feel comfortable or familiar. Sometimes I will come home and they will all be sitting in the kitchen laughing and talking, all different ages and grades, just laughing about life, as they see it.

My kids, their friends, and my mom friends will sit in our kitchen for hours laughing and hanging out. I love this! Sometimes I will ask the kids, why do you want to be around us mom’s, why don’t you go and find something to do… but they continue to hang out.

Today’s kids grow up so different with all the technology and apps. I try and make sure I know what is going on in their lives as much as I can…I do all the parent checks on their phones and apps. But I also give them some freedom and independence, which is important. I grew up writing notes and passing them in class and my parents never read them. I also grew up talking on the phone until all hours of the night and my parents did not listen to my phone conversations. So, I do think my kids need some privacy, freedom, and independence growing up.

I do not know how I did it, but maybe it was from always making sure I have their favorite snacks…but I have always felt comfortable talking to my kids and their friends, asking them about their day, school, other friends, maybe teasing them a little…I also just talk to them in normal conversation and I think that is important.

Snarky divorced gal (www.snarkydivorcedgal.com)

Come On In The Guest House

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

Jellaludin Rumi,
translation by Coleman Barks

A few weeks ago, my wonderful counselor read this poem to me to start a session and it has stayed with me since that night. I am not sure why, but it spoke to my soul and tethered itself to me. I am not sure why, but it spoke to my demons and made them cower in fear. I am not sure why, but it spoke to that inner child still full of pain and gave her comfort. I am not sure why, but it spoke to my warrior and it made her feel stronger. I am not sure why, but I know that it is important.

My guest house is a little stone cottage in the woods, complete with a thatch roof and a dutch door. It is surrounded by woods, gardens full of beautiful flowers, and sits on the edge of a small, tranquil lake.  It is a mix of all the fairy tale homes I have read about and my family camp on Lake Superior. It is old, but protects you with solid walls. It is small, but envelopes you in love and warmth. It is worn, but invites you in with safety and comfort. It has been battered by storms, but despite the damage is still a sight to see.

The guests as of late, have not been ones to enjoy, but ones to tolerate. The guests as of late, have not been ones to embrace, but ones to observe. The guests as of late, have not been welcome, but ones that needed shelter. The guests as of late, have not been friendly, but have caused me pain. The guests as of late, have not been calm, but have caused chaos within. The guests as of late, have not been my warrior, but instead have been my demons.

No matter who shows up each and every day, my guest house is open. No matter who shows up each and every day, I will welcome them with a smile. No matter who shows up each and every day, I will try to learn from my guest. No matter who shows up each and every day, I will let the emotions of their visit wash over me. No matter who shows up each and every day, I will try to keep my balance. No matter who shows up each and every day, I will look forward to my next guest.

My guest house is a place of learning.

My guest house is a place of growing.

My guest house is a safe place to feel pain.

My guest house is a place of joy.

My guest house is a place of solitude. 

My guest house is a place of gathering.

My guest house is chaos.

My guest house is my calm.

My guest house is love.

My guest house is me in all its imperfections.

~ Kellie

Working each day to be the warrior and leader I know is within me. You can follow me at https://wordpress.com/view/leaderofthepacks.blog