I am welcoming a new year of growth, a 41 year old single mother of two small children. Yes, you read that right – I was 35 when I had my first child. My youngest child was born on New Year’s Day, and as this new year begins I am pondering not just her life, but my own.
My divorce from my children’s father was final last December (Merry Christmas to me!!), but I was doing the single mom gig for a long time before that. Even before my marriage ended. When I look back over the past few years there are so many moments that seem significant. Separation, manipulative ex, mediation, divorce. I started dating again, and have met the most amazing man who is still in my life.
But it has been in this part year, in particular, that I have done and have learned so much. In this past year there have been so many things that have changed. My boyfriend and I have had to work through things as a couple. I bought my home – the first I have ever bought alone. I have had the difficult job of continuing to heal. Of recognizing that some of the patterns and responses that I accumulated for years in a toxic relationship, while helpful and protective to me in THAT relationship, are no longer needed and in fact are hurtful to new and current relationship(s). I have had to work on not just recognizing those patterns, but BREAKING those patterns. It’s been a pretty grueling year, really.
But looking back now, and looking ahead into 2020!
I am proud of myself. Proud for continuing to WANT to do the hard work of healing and moving forward. Proud that I work, try to be the best mom I can be, and that I was able to save enough money to buy my house. I am thankful that I have such a supportive boyfriend. I have gained a whole new Mom Tribe of friends, acquaintances, and people I can lean on. I have had to say goodbye to relationships that were holding me back. I have been able to work on myself, focus on my personal growth, while also focusing on the needs and growth of my children. While my past is painful, it has led me to here. And here is a pretty good place to be.
So I look forward to 2020, with open arms. May it continue to bring love and growth, peace and happiness. May it do the same for you.