Tag Archives: good

Right Now It’s My Daughter

Right now it’s my daughter…

As I sit and write this Mommas, I am looking out my window. It’s sunny and I will be able to wear shorts today. My teddy bear of a dog is positioned between me and my daughter and it is the first morning I feel like I can breathe.

Yesterday I put my music on and walked for an hour. I am not a health nut. My ideal of breakfast lately has been a full-size candy bar and a Belevita bar. (Balance)

But I was about to jump out of my skin. What was supposed to be a walk around the block turned into a trek into parts of my neighborhood I’d never seen before.

I got in my head.

Deep.

D- E- E-P

I’m a shy, people person who has been on lock for a month.  I’m a forty eight year old woman who still sees that awkward kid who got picked on. I am a person who loves with her whole heart, who spent too many years not being loved the same and am still healing old wounds.

Before all of this I had rituals and routines in place to help me cope when I got too inside my head. Some made sense – therapist. Some maybe not- wandering aimlessly around Target. Some I miss so much- time with my friends.

I make sure to reach out to my friends and family regularly but I can not wait until I can hug them. The hugs may not end.

I focus on the fact that I have extra time with my daughter. That she crawls into bed with me and we talk. We go for walks. She and I play cards and I get to eat every meal with her.

I am so lucky to be working. So many of my friends are in limbo – so many people are. I am fortunate and I can’t forget that.

I am making an effort but as I tell everyone else, I am also being gentle with myself. There is no rule book for this. It’s easy for me to stop and wallow. And I can for a bit, but I have a twelve year old trying to get through this too.

I need to do what I’ve done since they put her in my arms… take care of her.

Which means focusing on the good.

Right now it’s her. Her tight hugs are getting awkward because she’s taller than me, which she loves. Her running into my room while I’m on a ZOOM call to tell me about a funny meme she found, her just sitting next to me while I read and she’s on her iPad.

Now she would tell you I should be thankful I don’t dye my hair an unnatural color so it doesn’t look too bad while I grow it out and keep wearing lip gloss because I like it.

Be safe and much love Mommas.

<3 Caprise

Fear Is A Liar

Fear is a liar.

I’m late getting this blog to Kim, I should have written it on Monday…but all week I have racked my brain trying to think of what would be the best thing to say to all of you in the middle of craziness and panic the likes of which I have not seen since 9-11-2001.

I wake up every morning right now thinking okay what is the damage report out there and how can I help?  UGH.  It is hard to know what to do to help people stop feeding fear and panic when everywhere I look someone is working overtime to stir it up.

This morning I settled upon entitling this conversation “fear is a liar”—because I feel like tackling that and breaking it down for you might be the best way that I can help right now.

In all of the conversations that I have been having with you guys since 2014, I am ALWAYS talking about not letting your mind take you ‘down the rabbit hole’ into fear-based, panic-stricken thinking and this situation in the world right now is no different.  DO NOT go down into the rabbit hole of “what-ifs” deal and respond to facts and situations that are in front of you—don’t dwell on what will be happening 6 weeks from now.  Deal with what’s in front of your face and RESPOND to it like a level-headed adult, don’t react.

Fact check information that is being given to you, compare stories you are hearing…and above all follow your intuition, listen to your gut.  Parents have intuition that is fine-tuned, we have to.  TRUST IT.  If you feel like you should cancel something– do it, if you feel like you want to avoid a place—honor that.  I read countless stories after 9-11 of people that had a feeling to not get on a particular plane or not go into work that day etc.  I firmly believe that we all have an internal warning system, the problem is most people are not paying attention to it or they are afraid to follow it.  Screw that—hear me when I say this to you it is important right now—- TRUST YOUR GUT.  Period.

It doesn’t matter what opinions people have of you right now, it matters that you do what you feel is right to protect you and your family.  Trust your instincts, I cannot say this enough.

Remember that what you focus on you will create, so limit your exposure to the news and all the social media shit etc— stay informed but don’t overload yourself with doom and gloom—remember that there is good in everything somewhere even when we cannot see.  To my fellow Prayer Warriors out there—keep praying for this situation—the world needs us.

Focus on what IS good, focus on what IS working, focus on helping other people and bringing some LIGHT into this situation wherever you can.

Stay aware, pay attention and stay safe.  I will be live on Sunday for Coffee Chat at 10am est—until then know that I am praying for all of you and praying for all people— I am a stand for good and LIGHT in all of this.

Sending my love, N.

I’m Not Superstitious-But I Am A Little Stitious

I’m a big fan of memes and one of my favorites is a picture of Steve Carrel from the office it reads:

“I’m not superstitious

But I am a little stitious”

Yup that’s me. With a lot of things in my life. But the biggie is when good things happen.

Superstitious-I don’t trust good things. I wait for that other shoe to drop. I could use my track record as my excuse but I think it’s deeper than that.

Somewhere along the way just like asking for help. I was made to feel I don’t deserve good things.

I don’t mean daily massages or an unlimited spending allowance at Sephora.

Although, I wouldn’t mind those things.

But rather being recognized for a job well done. When I’m praised at work I always say thank you, but say I didn’t do it alone. I don’t deserve the credit. Even if I really do.

When I got asked to speak at a conference recently, I instantly thought it was because they couldn’t find anyone else. Not that maybe I’m a good speaker.

I blush at compliments.

I get teary at the littlest things.

As much as I want good things and want to hear I’m awesome, sparkly, be loved…

When it happens I don’t know what to do with it. I question it. I analyze it. I don’t always trust it. I wait for it to fall apart.

Luckily and I’ve alluded to my dream team before. My group of friends scold me when I start to question things too much. I have a person who holds my hand and teases me- “don’t cry” and kisses the top of my head.

It’s a slippery slope we Moms traverse. We want so much for everyone around us, why can’t we want that for ourselves?

I’m working on being less stitious. Believing in myself and not letting that self doubt and some bumps from my past make me freeze.

It’s ok to want good things.

Say it with my Mommas.

“It’s ok to want good things”.

Just in case you start to get a little superstitious… I’ll be here reminding you… you deserve good things.

You really do.

<3 Caprise

Damage and The Inspiration We Can Find Within

Damage….

Generally speaking, I try to focus on finding the good in bad situations…looking inside yourself for strength and finding your own way towards a better tomorrow.  Some days, though, I find myself struggling a little with that perspective in parts of my life.  Can you relate?

At some point, I realized that there are some things in my past that I will likely never fully recover from.

There are things that I have experienced that can’t be erased from my mind…can’t be erased from my heart…can’t be erased from my soul.  They may not affect me every day of my life, but there are certain key times that they rear their ugly little heads and cause me to re-live certain nightmares all over again.

There are certain sounds that trigger these memories…sounds that are common to television, movies and even some events with friends.  There are also certain stories and scenes from the same sources that cause the memories to flash through my mind.  I can’t very well run away and hide from life, but there are, without question, times that I would love to do just that.  I have come to realize that the proper support system in this arena is so very important to us all.

And the beauty in that is this:

I have always tried to reach out to the so-called unlovable.

I have always tried to have compassion for the bully.

I have always tried to hold understanding for those whose stories I do not know.

I have always tried to live my life with a healthy dose of grace.

In these things that have always been a part of my day, I find motivation to be better…a better version of myself…a better friend to others…a better model for my child.

In these things that I have always tried to live, I find a better understanding of my calling to live them.

So many people in this world get to know each other on the surface.  They come to friendship based on surface facts.  And when some life event unfolds in a way that catches them off guard, they run away before ever attempting to understand it.  So many people in this world define their love for each other in spite of things rather than because of things.
What if…what if we could all learn to love each other because of things instead of in spite of things?
What if…what if our pasts could be used to better know and love and look out for each other instead of as weapons and excuses against each other?
And that…that brings me back to the beauty in this all.
There are moments of pain in my life that I cannot avoid.  There are moments of the same that I cannot erase.  But these moments…are moments of opportunity and moments of potential for greatness.  These are moments sitting right in the palm of my hand, for which I fully control the direction. These are moments that I choose to learn from, that I choose to love from, that I choose to be better from.

We all have our moments.  What will you do with yours?

~Tanya

You can follow Tanya at http://sunshineandbluemoon.blogspot.com and, as always, make it a great day!

Doing Good For Others Is Doing Good For Yourself Too

Doing good for others is something everyone does, or should be doing. It doesn’t have to be something HUGE…a smile, or a wave is doing good for others, and it certainly makes you feel great about yourself seeing someone happy by something you have said or done.

Our school did the 12 Days of (insert school’s name)’s Christmas. I LOVED it. It was something new they did this year, and it was highly encouraged for students to participate. Saturday’s and Sunday’s were left off the calendar and the 12 days consisted of 12 days of school.  One day was a food drive-“Bring a can(s) of food for the local food bank”,  “Be an Angel and tell someone how much you are blessed to have them and why”, Wear a Christmas hat for $1 donation to the local food bank”, and so on….There were 12 days of the kids doing good for someone. Some days were simple things, such as wear Christmas bells to jingle in the Holiday cheer(poor faculty with all the kids in bells..lol)and my daughter said it was so cool, fun and made everyone happy and in a good mood. She said it was exciting to see the food piling up in the hallways from the can drive, and that all the different hats worn was really neat.  “I wonder why it has to be limited to around the Holidays?” I asked her. She wondered the same thing-she said doing good made her feel good too! I have talked to my children a lot about even the simple, free things for someone else can make a world of difference for that person and yourself. It’s not always about giving something, although if you can, please do! Take a moment and think about when the last time was that you felt good about doing good? Not just an every day chore but something above and beyond the normal of your every day routine..an out of the way gesture?

 

 

Love to All-Kim

Being Kind-Being A Blessing-Bringing A Blessing

Be Kind. It’s time to take the ‘judgy’ pants off…time to stop being impatient with people, time to stop being critical of yourself and others…time to start lifting the fallen and healing the broken.

As I have said over the past two days, this time of year is soooo difficult for some people and has challenges for all of us because everything is in a heighted state.  It is so easy to lose your temper at someone or become annoyed with their behavior…yet do you realize that they are honestly doing the best that they can for who they are in the moment?  We never, ever know what people are going through and we have no right to pass judgement on the brief part of them that reveals itself in our world, it is our job to be KIND, to bring a blessing, to be a blessing…

People will respond to kindness and you never know the difference that you could make for someone by simply being kind.  Today I went to the Price Chopper here in Vermont, where I live…it’s a grocery store.  The cashier that checked me out was grim looking and somewhat snappy, so I just started asking her how she was today and how her Thanksgiving was etc.  My first instinct was to withdraw when she seemed short, however I work hard to practice what I preach and so I just kept bombarding her with kindness and by the time she was done checking me out, her demeanor had shifted and she told me that she hoped I had a really good day.

We have to go outside our normal reaction, we need to come up higher and really work to bring good into everything we do and every place we go.  When you start focusing on this, on how you can be a blessing for other people then your seeming problems will work themselves out.  GOD has a special place in his heart for people that bless other people, when you are taking care of others GOD will take care of you.

This is a practice and sometimes you have to force yourself, take me today for instance…it’s been a stressful day and I had to remind myself to sit down and write a post for you guys even though I am feeling blah today…I knew that if I focused on you it would cheer me up and I was right:)  See you tomorrow…xoxo

Blessings Often Wear A Hell Of A Disguise

“Some blessings wear a hell of a disguise”

So in order to keep my promise of daily fresh content to all of you, I need to pull a blog post out of my ass…and it’s Monday and I don’t feel like it.  Good thing I don’t give much thought to ‘how I feel’ in the moment, I am well-trained to just do what needs to be done…so looking over at my wall of quotes—I see one that sparks a flash of inspiration…it is an anonymous quote that reads, “Some blessings wear a hell of a disguise…”  Well, well, well…now yes they do!

My faith in God has taught me that there is good in everything even when it can’t be seen.  I am of the opinion that you have to trust that even in your darkest hour the good is there and eventually it will come to bless and benefit you.  All of this is easier said than done.  There have been quite a few times when life has whipped me around to the almost breaking point and in those hours it took all my courage to trust that good was there somewhere.   Days, years, months later I could see the blessing…however in those moments I didn’t see squat!

Several people in my life right now are living in those dark moments, one is losing her house from bankruptcy and another is struggling with a stinging betrayal.  It is hard to counsel them that there is good somewhere present in the current circumstances.  I know for them that it is there, however it is hard for them to stay steady now and trust that for themselves.

When our blessings are wearing a hell of a disguise and it seems as if life is against us, the most important thing that we can do is to know that good is present somewhere, somehow…it is vital in the middle of urgent circumstances to keep your head clear and above water…it is imperative to react to things according to the outcome that you want to see– not according to the way it looks at any given moment.   Remember that the miracle doesn’t come unless there is complete certainty and trust on your part.  From what I have read, according to a Hebrew version of the Bible, when Moses created the miracle of the parting of the Red Sea, he and his followers had to walk into the sea knowing that it would part for them…from what is written, the sea did not part until they were in the water up to their nostrils—only then did the sea become dry land.  They had to walk into the sea with the CERTAINTY that it would part for them.  As they were walking further and further in, there were moments that it looked like they were going to drown…they kept going because they trusted and they were certain that the sea would make way for them…IT DID!

We must use this lesson in our own lives, every day.   You must be certain that life will make way for you to have the outcome that you desire, provided that it is for the highest good of everyone involved.  Understand that the highest good in a situation is not always what our ego desires.  Some of us try to push ‘our will’ instead of Divine Will…that doesn’t usually work out so well.

When your intentions and desires are pure, life will move heaven and earth to assist you.  Blessings are usually disguised to help us acquire qualities that we may not learn otherwise…hence the old saying “if God brings us to it…God will bring us through it”…this is good news, it means we never get anything we can’t handle.

So the next time life is kicking your butt remember that there is good in there somewhere…even if you can’t see it, trust that it is present.  The willingness to trust for the possibility of good has the power to shift your state of mind and therefore the entire situation.

 

Take the HIGH Road

Take the HIGH Road

Taking the high road is easier said than done, taking the high road means that we have to give up our grievances about other people or situations and just do what works.  Our ego would rather us do otherwise, our ego would prefer that we fight and blame and create chaos instead of creating a solution…good thing we all understand that the ego is enemy of our higher self and listening to it will not take us where we wish to go.  Ever.

Being the better person and coming up higher in a situation may be difficult in the moment, when the moment is over you will have created a pathway for God’s higher GOOD to occur in that person or situation and that will serve to bless YOUR life as well.  This isn’t about who is ‘right’ and who or what is ‘wrong’…it is about being part of the overall solution and creating order instead of more chaos.   Come up higher today, the view from the high road is much better:)