Tag Archives: goal

Setting And Keeping New Years Resolutions

Thinking about your New Years Resolutions?

You have probably heard that New Years resolutions usually are not completed. Here are the real statistics; after a week 75% are still successful, after two weeks the number drops to 71%, after a month 64% and after six months only 46% of the people who make resolutions are still successful in keeping them. So the truth is you have less than a 50% chance to keep your resolution.

You may be interested in why this happens. Again, the statistics are helpful, 35% made unrealistic goals, 33% did not keep track of their goals, 23% forgot about them and 10% made too many.

The most common resolutions are to lose weight, eat healthier, and exercise more. I have made each of these multiple times myself over the years. Guilty as charged.

Jim Rohn was well known for his commitment and encouragement to setting goals. You can read some of his tips here – https://www.jimrohn.com/4-tips-for-setting-powerful-goals/. His general position is that you need to sit down and really consider the goals you wish to set. Because they need to be important for you to stay with them. His acronym for goal setting is they need to be SMART

Specific – ambiguous goals produce ambiguous results

Measurable – ie. Lose weight vs. lose 10 lbs.

Attainable – forget good intentions, is it something you can do

Realistic – is it something you can reasonably make real

Time – by when? Will this be complete

The bottom line here is, are you making a resolution because YOU want to or because you think you should?

Either way, lets make 2021 better than 2020 because we say so!

 

~Steve

Set Your Goals Into Motion For 2021

Set your goals in to motion for 2021….We are SO close to a new year when we can finally put 2020 in our rear view! I think we’ve all been anxiously awaiting this moment the last several months…or perhaps since 2020 began. 😉 While we may be putting a lid on 2020, not everything will magically disappear or fix itself once Jan. 1, 2021 hits. We must still be INTENTIONAL with how we want 2021 to be for us and our families. We have to know what we value most and what we want this year to look like for our families, even if the circumstances don’t change entirely or even if this is another hard year…because we really don’t know. But, we can go into 2021 with our eyes wide open, prepared, and ready to take on the year with grit and determination. And how we do this is by setting intentional goals that we CAN control; how we run our homes, how we care for our bodies, how we prioritize family time…all of these things we have more control over than we may think. Let’s choose wisely and intentionally for 2021. Let’s choose TOTAL health and wellness for 2021 and beyond. Today I am going to walk you through a proven way to set and achieve goals. Here we go…

Studies show that only about 19% of people who set New Year’s resolutions maintain their goals long term. 

What is goal setting? Goal setting is the practice of cultivating and developing an action plan to motivate and guide someone towards a specific goal. Goal setting is a common practice in self development and can include the use of goal setting techniques such as SMART criteria . Goal setting is the first step in planning ahead for the future and for achieving the life you desire to live in various facets including but not limited to your health, relationships, education, work/career, etc. 

So what is this SMART criteria? 

SMART is simply an acronym for the guide to goal setting. The purpose of using SMART to help guide you in your goal setting process is to provide clarity to your ideas, bring focus to your work, help you to use your time and resources in a productive manner, and help you achieve lasting success for your goals. 

What does SMART stand for? 

Specific: Target a specific area for improvement

Measurable: Set a goal that’s measureable

Attainable/Achievable: Is this goal possible to attain?

Relevant/Realistic: Can this goal realistically be achieved? Is this goal relevant and does it make sense for you?

Time Bound: State when you will get it done and state a specific time frame or end date for goal. 

Next time you want to achieve a specific goal, take some time and break it down into a SMART goal and write down each specific step and how you will achieve it. 

Questions to Ask when Goal Setting: One of the questions I like to ask myself and have my clients ask themselves first and foremost is ‘why are you doing this?’ If we do not assign a bigger ‘why’ to our goal setting, we will have no purpose or value to fall back on when things get tough and we want to throw in the towel. Your ‘why’ is not only your fire starter so to speak, but it’s also your fuel to keep the fire burning. When the flames have simmered down on your goals, what is the thing that will reignite that flame, that fire within you? It needs to be your ‘why’, your deeper purpose and vision for your life. Take some time to think about your ‘why’ and cast a vision for where you want to be in 10 or 20 years. Think about the life you want to look back on when you are 80 years old. Think about the legacy you want to leave behind and the imprint you want to leave on your family and community. 

I know it can seem daunting and overwhelming to think about your life in such a big picture kind of way and then figure out how you are going to get there. The secret sauce is to start small. I am a firm believer that little adds up and that the small daily decisions we make ultimately impact our life long-term. As Annie Dillard once said, “how we live our days is how we live our lives.” So our 80-year old vision for our life has to start here and now, today. Start small. 

Why Small Works: Again, going back to SMART goals, it’s important to have specific and reasonable goals. It can be easy to get excited and jump in with both feet without really thinking about the logistics of how you will achieve the goals you have set. This is one of the biggest reasons why New Year’s Resolutions fail. According to US News and World Report, 80% of New Year’s Resolutions fail by February. But they don’t have to. 

Find Accountability: Whether it’s a friend, a co-worker, spouse, or a health coach like myself, having an accountability partner will greatly impact your success in maintaining your goals and achieving them! Have your accountability partner check in with you via text or email once a week or however often you decide you need accountability for your specific goals. Working with a health coach is a great way to not only receive accountability but it also provides a time and space to discuss any barriers or obstacles coming in your way and how to overcome them so that your goals stay a reality. 

With these few pointers, I hope you can set your goals into motion this year and every year. And remember, there is nothing special about January 1st. Today is as good a day as any to begin working towards a new goal and begin living a healthier lifestyle. If you have a goal or need to re-evaluate your priorities and how you want to live your life, today is as good a day to begin! I promise you won’t regret it. Don’t wait until next year to begin living a life of purpose and priority, achieving the goals that matter to you. 

Meghan Meredith
HomeBodySoul, Founder
Certified Health & Wellness Coach
Certified Personal Trainer

 

Sources:

 

  1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/modern-mentality/201812/why-new-years-resolutions-fail

Goals-How To Get What You Want

When setting goals we are told to be sure to write them down. 

We will be far more likely to achieve them if we do that. 

I remember thinking when I first heard that, it seemed silly, it’s my goal I know what it is and I won’t forget it. 

Except, much of time I did forget, I never really took the time to think more about them. 

I eventually did start writing them down and that’s when things changed dramatically for me. I would carry them around with me on a 3 x 5 card and I read them every day or so. It was a very good way to keep them fresh in my mind.

There is another way to get increased results and that is through envisioning. What you do is turn your goal into pictures. For instance I always wanted to live in the country. My written goal was to move to the country before I was 40 years old. 

I bought a piece of posterboard and started cutting pictures out of magazines that looked like places I would like to live and glue them to the board. Some people call this a vision board. When it was completely filled with pictures I would look at them and feel things in my body. I could feel what it was like to sit by the edge that lake, or feel the wind blowing and hear the trees rustling. I moved to the country when I was 26 years old, 14 years ahead of schedule.

When an idea is coupled with emotion, magic happens. 

Almost every motivational author quotes of version of, “you become what you think about all day long.” 

If you want to reach your goals, take the time to envision them often.

~Steve

What Are Your Dreams?

What are your dreams?

Hi everyone!

I know it’s been a while, but I am glad to be back and sharing a little bit more about my experiences with all of you.

Today, I wanted to share something that I have been reflecting on quite often. I recently moved into a new house, and I began to unpack some items that I had not seen in a while. As I was unpacking, I realized that I had a brand new guitar that I was gifted by my family when I was much younger. I come from a long line of family members that possess some incredible musical talents.

As I have mentioned previously, I grew up around so much talent and music, that it has become a very important part of my life. When I was old enough, my family wanted me to learn some of those musical talents that I had witnessed frequently growing up.

When I was about 11 years old, I was gifted a beautiful red guitar in the hopes that some day I would be able to play with the other members of my family. Unfortunately, other tasks took importance over guitar practice, so I never learned how to play as I had originally dreamed.

Slowly, I began to forget that I even had this guitar in my possession, and my dream of learning to play drifted to the back of my mind. When I discovered the guitar once more, something clicked inside of me and made me recall how I had once viewed the art of music. Suddenly I remembered how much I longed to be able to play it, and all of those emotions resurfaced within me. That day, I made a promise to myself that somehow, I would learn to play the instrument that was once so important to me and my family.

I guess I’m here to remind everyone to recall something that they had always dreamed of doing but unfortunately never got the chance to fulfill. I’m here to let you know that it’s never too late to take up that hobby, and fulfill those dreams!

– Dani <3

Why You Need An Accountability Partner

Why do you need an accountability partner?

Setting a health or fitness goal (or any goal for that matter) is a great thing but it comes with a lot of challenges and hard work. In order to achieve our well set out goals it takes perseverance, diligence, and commitment. I’m not going to sugarcoat it, working towards goals takes TIME and EFFORT. But there are ways we can set ourselves up for SUCCESS.

According to research, the two factors that effectively help people achieve the behavior change they desire are incentives and accountability.” Let’s dig into accountability because I know this is HUGE!

I’ve experienced it time and time again with my health coaching clients and personal training clients…when you have someone you know is going to ask you about a specific thing, you are more likely to do it and stick to it. You know someone is waiting to ask you and simply knowing that, pushes you to action. The reality is, none of us like to admit we were wrong or we didn’t do what we said we were going to do. This goes against human nature. But when we only tell ourselves we are going to do something and we don’t, it’s not as big of a deal because most of us don’t have the same respect for ourselves as we do other people, especially as women. If we tell ourselves only and don’t follow through, we are queens of telling ourselves it was because of x, y, or z. We can tend to do this with others too, but we are more likely to follow through because there is fire under our bottoms. 😉 The reality is, it’s hard for ANYONE to follow through and commit to any goal when they keep it to themselves and have no one to answer to except themself. We are human and we tend to naturally want to avoid hard things, even if the hard thing is a good thing, like a health/fitness goal.

So, how do we get around the barrier of ourselves if we really want to make changes in our lives and achieve our goals? Enter in an accountability partner.  Having an accountability partner or support group is KEY to your success of your health and fitness goals.

I recently read an article on Entreprenuer.com that says that it is in fact possible to increase one’s chances of succeeding in achieving their goals. In fact, it’s possible to increase that change to a 95% chance, which is HUGE! How?? Well, according to The American Society of Training and Development, people are 65% more likely to meet a goal once admitting it to another person. But if someone is a part of an on-going meeting or has an accountability partner that they regularly check in with, that success increases to 95%.

An accountability partner could be a friend, co-worker, family member or you could be a part of a support group or a group like Weight Watchers.

So, who’s holding you accountable??

P.S. If you are wanting to improve your morning routine and wake up earlier and lead more purposeful days, join me in my 12-week morning makeover program! Accountability will be a large part of this program so you can be sure to make lasting change and transform your morning and your day! Check it out and sign up here. We start TOMORROW so if you want in, sign up NOW!

Meghan Meredith
HomeBodySoul, Founder
Certified Health & Wellness Coach
Certified Personal Trainer

Do The Work

All of the 12 step programs have a saying, “the program works if you work it.” This statement is true for many things including your ability to improve the quality of your life or more pointedly to ‘change the game’ for yourself. In my 52 years I have encountered a lot of people that were unhappy in their circumstances, yet when faced with ways out that required actually DOING something I saw that they would much rather stay complacent and keep complaining. This is why so many people are stuck in lives that they aren’t happy with,because they just want a magic solution that absolves them of having to DO ANY WORK. News Flash— there is no way to change without doing the work— anything worthwhile requires effort and change on your part. Period.

As you know the kid moved out a few weeks ago now and that has allowed me to actually pick my head up, take a breath and look around my life for the first time in many years—and what I see is that I created a magnificent life by using and practicing ALL the tools and principles that I talk with you about. I worked those things and made them a habit and I still use them daily.

What I can PROMISE you with absolute certainty is that they WORK if you do the work. When Antonio was 18 months old I had to file for bankruptcy— I was scared and broke, I had no car and I lived in a place that had mice running around it. I had known about all these principles since I was 12 and I practiced a lot of them daily—however after the bankruptcy I decided that I could do better, I decided that I would give it everything I had and I would see, if in fact, I could create a life and an income that I was proud of.

I did just that. It was and still is hard work—although it does get easier in time—the more you train your mind the easier it gets to be non-reactive and the quicker you can demonstrate circumstances that you want.

For those of you that don’t know, I do not make any money from The Working Single Mom project—-in fact it costs me money every month— I do it because I know what it is like to be terrified and broke, I know what it feels like to be afraid that you can’t pay the bills—I lived and worked with those fears most of the last 19 years—- I had no child support—it was just me and whatever I could create and earn. I created The Working Single Mom brand as my public persona to help people, to give back, to coach and teach you that there is a way to create the life that you want. I am living, breathing proof that anything is possible as long as you are willing to do the work.

No matter what is going on for you today, hear me when I say to you that I am PROOF that you can create whatever you want. Believe this and then start to do the work to make it so.

See you Sunday for Coffee Chat.

XO, Noelle

When I Grow Up

When i grow up….

Driving to work I have the opportunity to listen to my favorite radio station every morning. As with all radio stations they usually have a topic for discussion . This morning’s topic was “when you were young what did you want to be when you grew up and did you achieve that?” So of course I immediately thought of what I had always wanted to be when I was younger (a marine biologist- an amazingly cool career ) and then became somewhat sad because I did not achieve that (from that to dental office manager). Life just doesn’t work out how we want it to sometimes. And as I sat there and reflected on that, I became somewhat sad, thinking not achieving that always made me feel a little bit of a failure. Maybe many others were doing the same thing at that moment. Then a thought crossed my mind. What if when we were children instead of desiring or having the hopes to become a marine biologist, doctor, a lawyer, an accountant, electrician, etc., we said to ourselves “when I grow up I want to be kind”. I wondered if we thought that and if we all really tried to achieve that instead of thinking about a status or the money that something will bring in, we only wanted to be the best version of ourselves. Now of course there’s absolutely nothing wrong with doctors and lawyers and such. We need them of course. And those are smart, amazing helpful people. And I thank God they are here for us. We all need a job to bring in some money to pay our bills and to enjoy some things in life. But kindness is a choice isn’t it? Some people have more of it in them and some people maybe a reminder wouldn’t hurt. But if we thought as children “I want to be a kind grown-up” wouldn’t the world be a much better place? Wouldn’t we be better people? If we grew up striving to be kind not only to others but to ourselves? Content with ourselves and not so critical. No bullying, that’s for sure because if we grew up wanting to be kind we would pass that on to our children, how could we not?

I believe I have a kind heart but there are days that I am disappointed in myself thinking where did the kindness go? Why didn’t you take that opportunity to be a better person? To be kinder? It doesn’t take any money or any status to smile at a stranger, to not be bothered by a person going a little bit slower on the road than you would like, to take somebody’s grocery cart back for them, to go out of your way to talk to someone that you normally wouldn’t, and not be bothered by every little thing. I am going to work on all of those things and I’m going to encourage my children to do so as well. Because, well there are a lot of good people and kindness but we can always have a little bit more of it don’t you think? And I can start with myself, because I still have growing to do in many ways. And I really hope that question comes back on the radio someday so I can call in and I can say when I grow up “I just want to be kind”.

`“Wine (or whine) in the tub”

(I realized that a little glass of wine in the bathtub helps sometimes. You can decompress, cry, recuperate without an audience.. and you can whine to yourself as much as you want, then get out and you’re ready to take on the world again)

Numbers Don’t Lie

The numbers don’t lie…

If you have been following along on the FB live Sunday Morning Coffee Chats and on the blog you know that I have been playing an effectiveness scoring game with myself since Jan. 12th.  This is a game/ measuring tool that I have invited you all to join me in—with every week that goes by I gain new insight into what stops me and how I am really showing up in my life.  It is proving to be quite telling.

After last Sunday’s Coffee Chat I decided to get a weekly average and graph it—so I added my daily score from each week and divided it by 7 to gain the weekly average.  The graph looks like this:

Clearly you can see that I am averaging 50% which is pretty pathetic….LOL.  Examining this data tells me everything that I need to know about why my life is where it is, don’t get me wrong I have a very blessed and fantastic life which I have worked really, really hard to create—yet with all I know and all that I have done this is the truth about me—I am showing up at about 50 something percent in my life.

The really interesting thing is that I now have to look at what I could create as my reality if my average was 80% or even 90%— who would I be able to be then?!—I have been asking myself this question since last Sunday…

So I do these averages and I make this chart and I look at it over and over and on Sunday I was a 30% and on Monday a 20% and then yesterday I decided that I would like to SEE what happens if I show up between 80 and 100 % consistently so I forced myself to be 100% yesterday and this morning I woke up with more energy to get things done.

Often I tell you that the worst battle you will every have is with yourself—my experiment with this listing game is really shining a light on that for me.  I told you that this was an assignment given to me decades ago from a coach of mine and that I have played it again over the years—however only for a week or two at a time.  This is the longest that I have ever evaluated myself and I have committed to you guys to do this until June.  It is going to be very interesting to see what reveals itself as I continue this.

Would love to have you play too and share with me what you are seeing about yourself.  You can go back and watch any of the Coffee Chats since Jan. 12th or go listen to the podcasts or read past blogs for instructions on how to make your list.  See you Sunday morning at 10am est for Coffee Chat.

 

XO, N.

Welcoming A New Year Of Growth

I am welcoming a new year of growth, a 41 year old single mother of two small children. Yes, you read that right – I was 35 when I had my first child.  My youngest child was born on New Year’s Day, and as this new year begins I am pondering not just her life, but my own.

My divorce from my children’s father was final last December (Merry Christmas to me!!), but I was doing the single mom gig for a long time before that.  Even before my marriage ended.  When I look back over the past few years there are so many moments that seem significant.  Separation, manipulative ex, mediation, divorce. I started dating again, and have met the most amazing man who is still in my life.

But it has been in this part year, in particular, that I have done and have learned so much.  In this past year there have been so many things that have changed.  My boyfriend and I have had to work through things as a couple.  I bought my home – the first I have ever bought alone.  I have had the difficult job of continuing to heal.  Of recognizing that some of the patterns and responses that I accumulated for years in a toxic relationship, while helpful and protective to me in THAT relationship, are no longer needed and in fact are hurtful to new and current relationship(s).  I have had to work on not just recognizing those patterns, but BREAKING those patterns.  It’s been a pretty grueling year, really.

But looking back now, and looking ahead into 2020!

I am proud of myself.  Proud for continuing to WANT to do the hard work of healing and moving forward.  Proud that I work, try to be the best mom I can be, and that I was able to save enough money to buy my house.  I am thankful that I have such a supportive boyfriend.  I have gained a whole new Mom Tribe of friends, acquaintances, and people I can lean on.  I have had to say goodbye to relationships that were holding me back.  I have been able to work on myself, focus on my personal growth, while also focusing on the needs and growth of my children.  While my past is painful, it has led me to here.  And here is a pretty good place to be.

So I look forward to 2020, with open arms.  May it continue to bring love and growth, peace and happiness.  May it do the same for you.

~H

A New Beginning

It’s finally happened, the 2010s are no more and the 20s are now beginning.

Since I am only in my teenage years, this decade has taken up most of my life. It has been a decade so interesting, that it’s hard to keep track. In these past 10 years, we’ve experienced major events in not only our lives, but in pop culture, politics, and news. I’d like to say that I’ve learned a lot in the 2010s. Not just academically, but also lessons that I could use everyday.

Most of the things I’ve learned are due to the mistakes I’ve made on the way. Unfortunately, there were times in the past decade that I didn’t learn from the mistakes I had made. With this new decade now beginning, I decided that it was time to change my habits and work on those things that I want for myself and for my future.

For me personally, I figured out that I needed to start challenging myself in ways I never had before. I’ll be working hard to reach my goals, and I’ll never give up on the hopes I have for myself.

This is exactly what everyone should be doing when entering this new decade. You must figure out your weaknesses and work on how to better improve in that significant area.

Finally, I want to stress the importance of having a positive outlook on what these years have to offer. Just as the 2010s were filled with unexpected surprises, the 2020s will not fall short in that category. Be open to new possibilities and to new beginnings.

Happy new year! -Dani <3