Tag Archives: goal

Numbers Don’t Lie

The numbers don’t lie…

If you have been following along on the FB live Sunday Morning Coffee Chats and on the blog you know that I have been playing an effectiveness scoring game with myself since Jan. 12th.  This is a game/ measuring tool that I have invited you all to join me in—with every week that goes by I gain new insight into what stops me and how I am really showing up in my life.  It is proving to be quite telling.

After last Sunday’s Coffee Chat I decided to get a weekly average and graph it—so I added my daily score from each week and divided it by 7 to gain the weekly average.  The graph looks like this:

Clearly you can see that I am averaging 50% which is pretty pathetic….LOL.  Examining this data tells me everything that I need to know about why my life is where it is, don’t get me wrong I have a very blessed and fantastic life which I have worked really, really hard to create—yet with all I know and all that I have done this is the truth about me—I am showing up at about 50 something percent in my life.

The really interesting thing is that I now have to look at what I could create as my reality if my average was 80% or even 90%— who would I be able to be then?!—I have been asking myself this question since last Sunday…

So I do these averages and I make this chart and I look at it over and over and on Sunday I was a 30% and on Monday a 20% and then yesterday I decided that I would like to SEE what happens if I show up between 80 and 100 % consistently so I forced myself to be 100% yesterday and this morning I woke up with more energy to get things done.

Often I tell you that the worst battle you will every have is with yourself—my experiment with this listing game is really shining a light on that for me.  I told you that this was an assignment given to me decades ago from a coach of mine and that I have played it again over the years—however only for a week or two at a time.  This is the longest that I have ever evaluated myself and I have committed to you guys to do this until June.  It is going to be very interesting to see what reveals itself as I continue this.

Would love to have you play too and share with me what you are seeing about yourself.  You can go back and watch any of the Coffee Chats since Jan. 12th or go listen to the podcasts or read past blogs for instructions on how to make your list.  See you Sunday morning at 10am est for Coffee Chat.

 

XO, N.

Welcoming A New Year Of Growth

I am welcoming a new year of growth, a 41 year old single mother of two small children. Yes, you read that right – I was 35 when I had my first child.  My youngest child was born on New Year’s Day, and as this new year begins I am pondering not just her life, but my own.

My divorce from my children’s father was final last December (Merry Christmas to me!!), but I was doing the single mom gig for a long time before that.  Even before my marriage ended.  When I look back over the past few years there are so many moments that seem significant.  Separation, manipulative ex, mediation, divorce. I started dating again, and have met the most amazing man who is still in my life.

But it has been in this part year, in particular, that I have done and have learned so much.  In this past year there have been so many things that have changed.  My boyfriend and I have had to work through things as a couple.  I bought my home – the first I have ever bought alone.  I have had the difficult job of continuing to heal.  Of recognizing that some of the patterns and responses that I accumulated for years in a toxic relationship, while helpful and protective to me in THAT relationship, are no longer needed and in fact are hurtful to new and current relationship(s).  I have had to work on not just recognizing those patterns, but BREAKING those patterns.  It’s been a pretty grueling year, really.

But looking back now, and looking ahead into 2020!

I am proud of myself.  Proud for continuing to WANT to do the hard work of healing and moving forward.  Proud that I work, try to be the best mom I can be, and that I was able to save enough money to buy my house.  I am thankful that I have such a supportive boyfriend.  I have gained a whole new Mom Tribe of friends, acquaintances, and people I can lean on.  I have had to say goodbye to relationships that were holding me back.  I have been able to work on myself, focus on my personal growth, while also focusing on the needs and growth of my children.  While my past is painful, it has led me to here.  And here is a pretty good place to be.

So I look forward to 2020, with open arms.  May it continue to bring love and growth, peace and happiness.  May it do the same for you.

~H

A New Beginning

It’s finally happened, the 2010s are no more and the 20s are now beginning.

Since I am only in my teenage years, this decade has taken up most of my life. It has been a decade so interesting, that it’s hard to keep track. In these past 10 years, we’ve experienced major events in not only our lives, but in pop culture, politics, and news. I’d like to say that I’ve learned a lot in the 2010s. Not just academically, but also lessons that I could use everyday.

Most of the things I’ve learned are due to the mistakes I’ve made on the way. Unfortunately, there were times in the past decade that I didn’t learn from the mistakes I had made. With this new decade now beginning, I decided that it was time to change my habits and work on those things that I want for myself and for my future.

For me personally, I figured out that I needed to start challenging myself in ways I never had before. I’ll be working hard to reach my goals, and I’ll never give up on the hopes I have for myself.

This is exactly what everyone should be doing when entering this new decade. You must figure out your weaknesses and work on how to better improve in that significant area.

Finally, I want to stress the importance of having a positive outlook on what these years have to offer. Just as the 2010s were filled with unexpected surprises, the 2020s will not fall short in that category. Be open to new possibilities and to new beginnings.

Happy new year! -Dani <3

New Year No Resolutions

New Year No Resolutions…

As I am preparing to write this I do what I always do and took a little pit stop on social media.

I was hit in the face with frantic last minute Christmas posts and resolutions.

I will be up front about two things.

I still need to shop and I am not making any resolutions. Maybe that’s one in and of itself.

Here’s the thing. 

Ok, a couple. I am absolutely lousy at keeping them. Resolutions.

I am already frantic, please don’t add to my stress. A task I may not complete. That’s stressful.

Also… sometimes resolutions feel targeted. New Year, New Me. What’s wrong with you right now?

Have you ever thought it’s not you?

A lot of times, I’m going to say at least for me. My year is bad because of things around me. The environment, things out of my control.

This was not a banner year for me. To say the least. From job loss. Loss of loved ones. Fractured friendships. A financial bomb.

But I still hope that each New Year is better. I always hope I grow. But at my core I should not be a new me.

Maybe fold my laundry right away so I have more time on Sunday to relax so I don’t feel so stressed come Monday morning.

Get every scrap of information before I make big decisions.

Focus on my humans. The ones who focus on me. Text, call…

Spend less time on social media. I really don’t need to know my cousin three times removed is into some of the things she’s into.

Take time for the little things. When is the last time you peeped a sunrise?

Sing loudly in my car. 

Snuggle with my dog.

Buy the special creamer for my coffee.

These aren’t resolutions. These are things I like to do. I just maybe don’t do them enough.

A new year is a great time to remind yourself to do those things, but honestly Mommas why not all year?

My hope for you is a wonderful holiday and if 2019 wasn’t your year, that 2020 will be.

Much love Mommas.

<3 Caprise

I Need Another Plan

It’s six months to my birthday, and I find it hardly coincidental that today I have launched an effort to find purpose and a plan for my life. I know this because for some crazy reason, shortly after I arrived to my desk at work, I decided I needed to examine every life planner known to mankind.

I started on Pinterest, where all the best data and comparison shopping information can be found. Eventually, I began Google searching some of the information I found on other sources and then I moved onto price comparisons on Amazon, of course. I may be less emotional and domestic than many women, but the last two sentences I think can testify that I am, in fact, a card-carrying female.

Planners have very little to do with anything except that here I am, six months from my birthday and I need a life change, a’ la Eat Pray Love (yes, the movie). I need to discover who I am, I need a project, a goal, a way to focus my energies on self love, self discovery and adventure.

Planner shopping was a symptom of a greater problem…. I need a plan, not another planner.

Last week, I thought about becoming a travel writer, and while the very idea of that is enthralling to me, I don’t feel like I am “there” yet. I mean, I’d jump at that chance in a heartbeat, but while I am still figuring out how to pay my bills, I think buying a plane ticket could be putting the cart before the horse.

But taking the most important journey of my life doesn’t really require me to even leave my own neighborhood. And this all important journey is going to take me to some pretty exciting, life changing, and maybe scary places too!

I am starting the Journey of a Lifetime, by traveling into my own heart and soul and mind. I’m going to spend the next six months journaling, drawing, practicing self love, seeking, exploring, and discovering … me. That’s my life plan. No life planner required.

As with any good adventure, I don’t know exactly where this journey will lead. I don’t know what roads I’ll travel, what milestones I may find or what roadblocks I will surely stumble upon, but I know it will get me closer… daily closer… to knowing myself and finding what lights my soul on fire. And isn’t that what we all want?

Who wants to come along for the ride? I could use a travel buddy.

-Sharona

What Is My Mission?

Do you ever ask yourself, what’s my mission, what’s my purpose, what is my life for?

Have you found the answer?  Maybe a teacher told you one day you’d be a great writer.  Maybe a family friend told you that you would go places.  Maybe your BFF acknowledge d an amazing talent you have.  What have you done with this information?  Maybe you just finished cleaning up the edges, tightening up the skills and sharpening your mindset.

After all that, do you have an answer?  Or are you left more confused because nothing ever seems to come your way.  Doors don’t appear to open and you’re just not sure what to do or where to go.

I used to ask all the  time…. every day…. where does God want me to go, what does He want me to do, who does He want me to meet.  When I was a young mother, I never understood why, if I was so willing to help and serve and volunteer, why didn’t opportunities fall in my lap.

I was reminded ‘my son is my mission’ .

I would offer to help with THAT project, I would ask to be on THAT committee, I would offer to HELP that program.  And nothing EVER moved forward.

I was reminded ‘my son is my mission’.

Over and over I was reminded of this and finally in a very serious AHA Moment, I embraced it.

YES!!  My Son Is My Mission

Onward we went……every week we volunteered at the Homeless Shelter by setting tables and serving so meals and  also helped in  KidsTown at church in a classroom of little ones by teaching the lesson, working on a craft and engaging them in conversation & playtime.

Your mission could be right in front of you, staring you in the face, showing you signs that you’re not seeing.  Take a moment and listen to that still small voice inside, it just might have the answer.

xoxo

Your God girl,
Tracy

The Big Day

The big day…

It’s Sunday, a week before Labor Day, and I’m on vacation with my son at Universal studios, currently sitting by the wave pool in premium seating at Volcano Bay and it hit me… I have a good life.

I’m successful, I’m good with money (finally), I have some great friends, I have a great kid and I may be starting to date someone… so what’s wrong here?

Guess what?

Nothing!

I’m enjoying the moment and my spare tire in my midsection. I’m not stressing over what’s next and why not or why me… I’m just living my best life right now. And I’m doing it for myself.

That’s the trick here, put your oxygen mask on first, then everything else falls into place. None of this came without a good amount of time in therapy or a lot of looking in the mirror and saying, get at it or you know you are better than this.

Does this mean I don’t have goals? Of course not… that spare tire stopped paying rent a while ago, so the eviction notice is coming, Tuesday.

That career designation is happening by year end, because I made a promise to myself and I don’t want to fail on it (again).

That being a good role model to my son is continuing to grow and happen, we are just going to the next level with it now, as he develops into a young man.

What’s my purpose with all this? To tell all of you to get out there, smile, laugh, have the hard conversations (I did and it made my friendships even better) and take care of yourself first.

“Ad astra per aspera” my friends. Get at it and you got this! Your kids will thank you, I promise. 

-Electra 

A Lazy Generation

One of the things we often hear being used as an adjective to describe Millenials and Generation Z members, such as myself, is the term lazy. We hear it all too often from just about every generation before us.

Although this claim might have some truth to it, it is not entirely correct.

We are often depicted as kids who rarely leave their homes, or kids that simply don’t have the drive to pursue their dreams. Today it’s not uncommon to have kids linger at home well into their twenties while they try to “find themselves.”  In fact, many of us are actually trying really hard to accomplish our goals and make those dreams come true. The reality is there are many distractions in our lives that previous generations never had to deal with.

Sadly, sometimes these distractions prevent us from being the best version of ourselves. This time spent doing things with less relevance, has created the misperception that we are a “lazy” generation.

As I have previously mentioned, I believe that social media and technology at our disposal on a constant basis can be very beneficial but it can also be one of the major distractions to our productivity. It can cause us to lose sight of our important responsibilities and our goals for the future. I know that I often lose track of time when I scroll through Instagram. This problem occurs for many other kids my age. My parents often point out the hours I’m potentially wasting on these social media platforms rather than focusing on schoolwork or other projects. I don’t think it has anything to do with how lazy we are, or anything to do with our work ethic.

I am certain that generations before had plenty of other distractions in their day. Maybe it was playing stickball on the street or hanging out to listen to music. Regardless, I do think that we can do better, and, that if social media wasn’t so darned entertaining, it would be easier for us to stay focused. As a result, we wouldn’t be considered such “slackers”.

As a challenge for the teens out there reading this right now, I suggest you turn off your phones, log out of your social media accounts, and go focus on your goals. Although it might seem like a difficult task, we need to prove to those around us—and to ourselves— that we are so much more than a “lazy generation”.

-Dani

Relationship Goals

Relationship Goals..A million moons ago before I was married, divorced, and a Mom.

I dated. A little more than I’d care to admit.

Lots of blind dates.

One of my very first blind dates was with a listener from my radio station.

Typically I didn’t date guys who listened to me on the radio, because it always felt to me like I was not going to be the person they listened to.

But he wore me down.

On said date he asked me what I wanted in life.

I answered a relationship like my Mom and Dad.

He did not ask me out for a second date.

However, the answer is still accurate.

My parents met in high school. I was born shortly after they graduated with a laundry list of health problems.

I can’t imagine being teenagers and going through what they did.

But they did and are still together forty seven plus years later.

So what is it about their relationship I covet?

Let’s start with they will tell you they’re best friends.

How they have always treated each other as equals. Or in my Dad’s case he will tell you that my Mom is in charge.

That even though they are opposite in a lot of things they have learned to compromise. With maybe a battle or two in between.

Don’t be afraid to know what you want Mommas.

That date wasn’t so great anyway.

<3 Caprise

Happy New Year To Me

Happy New Year, Happy New Year, Happy New Year….

That’s what I’m hearing from lots of people, from every direction, all day for the past few days. I get it. But I feel like it’s more of a traditional salutation than a real heartfelt one. Although some people may seriously mean it… from the bottom of their heart…wishing others a HAPPY new year and all. While some may deeply long for something new in their own lives and really want to spread the vibe to others. Some may long for happiness at every level. And some may not even realize that their wishes are empty because their eyeglasses are just too rosey. Some, like me are excited for what God has planned.

“Lest Not Judge” Right…… so let us not judge the proclamations of others but instead look internally at our own longing for a Happy New Year. A Joyful New Year. Or how about a Glorious, Vivacious, Stupendous, Blessed New Year? I like the sound of that!!

We get to make it up in our mind. We get to say how it is for us. We get to move in that direction, trusting that we have what it takes. We will walk our walk while talking our talk and we will live through those thoughts that WE proclaim. Easy right? Not so much?

Start somewhere. Claim the adjectives that you’re going to place on your new year. Wrap your mind around them. Maybe even make a Vision Board full of pictures that speak to those beautiful adjectives that you’ve chosen as yours. Talk about them, sing about them, brag about them. Use these new words in conversations. Get so damn comfortable with them that they fee like fuzzy slippers on a cold day. And watch. Watch your life begin to move into the direction of something NEW for YOU. I’m choosing “Glorious, Vivacious, Stupendous, Blessed. What are your new words?

Your God Girl,

Tracy xoxo