Tag Archives: friendship

TWSM Movie Review ‘Double Jeopardy’

Double Jeopardy…I have my movies.  My go-to movies. The ones I watch every time I need a pick me up and/or they show up on to. Sometimes I seek them out because that’s just how much I like them.  This is one of those movies.

Libby is a happily married wife and mom.  She has it all.  Wonderful husband, beautiful son, great friends, and a life to be envied by many.  Her wealthy husband surprises her and takes her on a weekend sailboat trip – just the two of them.  She wakes up one morning to blood all over her and the boat.  It was everywhere.  Her husband was gone.  She found a bloody knife on deck, but he was nowhere to be seen.

To cut to the chase, she was charged and convicted of his murder.    After spending six years in prison, she was finally paroled after befriending two other women who did murder their husbands.

While in prison she finds out that her best friend, who she had asked to adopt her son while she was imprisoned, had run off and created a life with her still alive husband.  The puzzle starts to fit together.

This brings out a side in her that even she didn’t know existed.  She begins working out, getting into the best shape of her life.  One day while running in a pouring rainstorm her friend says “I’ve never seen anything like it.  What’s driving you is pure hate!”  

One of her best friends in prison happened to be a lawyer “once upon a time”.  She trains Libby on the exact words to say in order to convince the parole board that she has been reformed.  It works, and she is out.  

She tracks her ex-husband and ex best friend down to New Orleans and goes through a living hell trying to find her son.  Even as far as being trapped in a casket in a cemetery with a dead body, thanks to the hands of her husband.  But she tries everything.  

All to get to her son.

This movie shows true grit.  Once realizing she had been framed, a fire ignites inside her.  It drives anything and everything she would every need to get out of prison and find her son. 

What drives you?  Is it love? Hate? Passion? Fear?  The truth is we are all driven by hidden truths, none of which are necessarily wrong.  It’s the reason behind the drive that matters.  

This movie teaches us that we can find friendship in the most unlikely places.  The two women that Libby told in the beginning of the movie to back off and leave her alone ended up being her biggest allies and true friends.  We are all people.  We are all human.  We all have made mistakes.  It’s what we do with these experiences that forms us into who we were meant to be.

How do you think the movie ends?  You could probably figure it out.  But then, maybe you can’t.  Life is full of surprises both good and bad.  And so are movies.

Just remember, just as Libby dealt with whatever life threw at her she stood strong and never gave up.  We can do the same.  We are all strong.  It just depends on how we want to show up for life.

Streamed from Netflix,

~Sherri

TWSM Book Review ‘The Authenticity Project: A Novel’

 The Authenticity Project: A Novel by Clare Pooley 

If you are looking for an entertaining novel about seeking connection, friendship, and love in our modern world, I recommend The Authenticity Project by Clare Pooley. It’s a book about the stories we tell ourselves and others, and how these messages can get in the way of true connection or help us to grow. 

Set in London in 2018, Pooley creates a cast of lively characters for The Authenticity Project. They start out as strangers, but their lives begin to intersect and change as they get to know one another by way of an anonymous “traveling journal”. 

Here are some of my favorite quotes: 

“She kept scrolling, despite knowing this would not be a comfort, more of a form of mild self-harm. Hayley had changed her relationship status to “engaged”. Whoop whoop. Pam had posted a status about her life with three kids, a boast thinly and inexpertly disguised as self-deprecation, and Sally had shared her baby scan picture — twelve weeks.” (Chapter 5: Monica) 

“Riley wasn’t sure how much he believed. Julian seemed to have been present at every significant social event in recent history, from dinners with Christine Keeler and Mandy Rice-Davies to the party where Mick Jagger and Marianne Faithfull were arrested for possession of marijuana.” (Chapter 19: Riley) 

“Before she’d had a baby, he’d never seen her less than perfectly made-up, blow-dried, and waxed. It had all gone a little downhill since then… Alice thought back to the days when all she needed were her keys, money, and a mobile phone stuffed into a jeans pocket. It felt like a different life, belonging to a very different person.” (Chapter 25: Alice) 

The only negative that I have to share about The Authenticity Project is the way in which Pooley writes the character of Mrs. Woo. Although Mrs. Woo is a lovely woman who is both warm and tough as nails, her dialogue seemed a bit like a stereotype of someone who learned Chinese as a first language and English as a second language. I don’t know if this is a fair criticism or not, but it struck me that way. 

Overall, The Authenticity Project is a fun and thought provoking novel. I recommend that you brew a cup of tea, put your feet up, and give it a read. 

Rating 4 Stars out of 5 

Copyright 2020 by Clare Pooley 

Liz is a technical writer by day and a humor writer by night. She lives in Minnesota with her younger daughter and their two cats. When Liz is not reading, writing, or searching for new books to review, she can be found practicing yoga or enjoying time with friends and family. She is savoring the time that she has left before her younger daughter flies from the nest, yet she is also secretly looking forward to a time when she can travel more and not worry about anyone borrowing her socks.

TWSM Movie Review ‘Like A Boss’

I’m glad I didn’t believe the review about this movie before I decided to watch it.  The critics HATED it! But then given a title like “Critic” might make you a little more critical than the average joe.

I laughed so hard at this movie!  Tiffany Haddish is hilarious!  A laugh a minute!  I believe she is one of the funniest actresses on the planet and she helped turn a not so good day in my life, to a day in which I laughed till it hurt.

Mia and Mel are best friends who have had a makeup business since they were kids, starting out by doing makeup for girls at dances to creating a small, yet popular and successful makeup line affectionally named Mia and Mel. Unfortunately, Mia and Mel had run upon hard times.  

The company catches the eye of a not-so-nice (to put it kindly) makeup mogul Claire Luna.  She offers to pay off their debt with a 49% interest in their company with the catch being that if either of the twosome ever quit, her interest increases to 51%, making her the managing partner.  After much bickering between the two they agree and partner with Luna who immediately begins her tactics of trying cause enough of a rift for one to quit.  She forces them to fire Barrett, their store designer and makeup mixer (this scene is priceless!) and steals and their famous “One Night Stand Kit” product and sells it under another one of her companies.  

The two break up as friends.  The stress of the entire situation has become too much.  Thankfully, other friends’ step in and remind them of how close they have been over the years and the importance of one another in each of their lives.  Long story short, they mend their relationship and find a way to beat Luna at her own game.  They are even able to re-hire their employee, friend, and confidant, Barrett.

This movie provides a lot of laughs.  It’s good for a cold, rainy day or a girl’s night in.  The bottom line of this movie is friendship.  It reminds us that friends are treasures.  Nothing can come between friends unless we allow it.  Love your friends!  They are your chosen family!

~Sherri

The Five Friends That You Need

The five friends that you need….Over the years, my circle of friends has really gotten smaller.  I have a lot of acquaintances, but the number of true friends is really small.  These are the friends that I trust and really give my time too.    

I was thinking the other day about the different types of friends that I have…and how they all come together in my life.  How each one of them offers a different purpose in my circle…and each one I truly need.  

The “listener” – The one  friend that is always there no matter what,  she will just sit and listen to you babble on and on…  She will let you text you all your daily problems every day and just continues to listen.  She will go on long walks with you and just let you ramble on about your life.  She might ask questions and get you to think, but listening is her main purpose.  Sometimes she does not even give advice or offer suggestions, she can just listen.  And in the end, I usually figure out the solution to my own problems because she just listened.  She is the soundboard for everything.  

The “honest” friend- This is the one that tells you exactly how it is… She will tell me to “be nice” and do not go “crazy”.  She is the one friend that will put me in my place when I need it.  She will tell me over and over again to be nice, if she feels I am out of line.  This friend also will remind me of your past mistakes so you do not make them again… She reminds you of the not so good boyfriends, so you do not make that same mistake twice.  When I have a lapse in judgement, she will remind me of what happened the last time.  She is not afraid to call me out on my own bullshit or my “pity party”.  She can read through the lies that I tell myself and get me to be true to myself.  She will tell me if someone is not treating me well or if I am not treating someone else well.  

The “yes” friend–  This is the one friend that always says “yes”, she is always up for whatever you have in mind… Sometimes if I really want to do something, she is the person I will go to because I know she will say “yes”.  Now at times, this can get me into trouble because some of my ideas may not be the smartest, but I know she will say “yes”.  She will also be up for going out or staying in, she will just go along with whatever you have in mind.   The honest friend may not like her at times, because I know she will say “yes” to anything of my ideas. The ‘Yes” friend will tell you, go ahead and send that text… go ahead and go on that date…go ahead and buy that new dress.  I like the “yes” friend.  

The “cheerleader” – The friend that reminds you to look at the positive things in life.  She constantly reminds you to be patient and sends you daily positive quotes.  She is the friend that can always find something good in every situation.  She reminds me to be patient, not rush, and that good things will happen.  She reminds me that when something  bad or challenging happens that something good might come out of it.  At times, I find that completely annoying and can not believe in her positivity.  She reminds you that tomorrow is another day, she will cheer you on in any of your goals in life…

You want to lose 10 lbs, she will be there to cheer you on.  

She reminds you “ whats not to love” when you are down on yourself.  You wake up every day to a “good morning” text from her and when you answer “ whats good about it” she will send you a positive affirmation”.  She is your biggest cheerleader and she is the “snow white’ of the group…

The “Ann Landers” – This is the friend that gives you advice.  She will you advice on anything, life, parenting, dating, cooking, household items, etc.  She seems to know everything and gives you advice on anything.  You know you just go to her when you need advice and you believe whatever she says.  I have no idea where she learned all her knowledge, but she knows everything.  And she can back it up with statistics, data, and personal stories.  None of it maybe true, but you would never question it.  She just has this way, that you never question what she says…and you do it.  

All of those friends come together in my life.  They all add so much and I need them…without question. 

-snarky

 

www.snarkydivorcedgal.com

I Think I Was Six

I think I was six…

It is one of the hottest days of the year here. I am watching my daughter walk back and forth from her room to the hallway with a big smile on her face, her headphones on – she says it helps her get her ideas out. She like, her Mom, writes, although she is much better.

I am listening to music as I always do when I write.

Today Taylor Swift. Specifically her new album.

Specifically the song Seven. I am sure there are all sorts of theories as to what it’s about. Somehow unlike the rest of the album I missed it.

For me it reminds me of the very first person I ever loved. The very first person who ever loved me. My very first friend. My very first best friend.

The lyrics “ And though I can’t recall your face. I still got love for you.”

I have mentioned him before.

And I am sure all these decades later, the story is a lot more magical than it really was, but he left his imprint.

His name was Reed.

I met him in the oddest way. I was walking home by myself from school. I think I was six? Behind me, two older girls called me names like they did everyday.

Everyday they would call me names until they got me to cry, then run ahead home.

One day I hear a voice yell out telling them to stop.

I remember he had a lisp.

Blue eyes.

I have blue eyes too, but his, maybe I remember them because of what he did- so bright.

Surprisingly they stopped.

He walked me home and I was happy to find out he lived a house away.

That whole summer it was him and I.

He taught me to play baseball.

Soccer.

Get better at riding my bike.

I’m pretty sure he’s why I have a sweet tooth, because whenever he had candy I got half.

Then one day he’s at my door telling me he and his Mom are moving, his parents are getting divorced.

He handed me a bag of candy. As he started running for his house he yelled he loved me and I was his best friend.

I was crushed.

My best friend.

My first best friend.

Gone.

It is a magical thing to have.

A friendship like that.

It was unflinching.

Now I recognize we were kids.

But friendships, relationships like that are rare. They are precious. The people who see you. The people who love you out loud. The people who yell with excitement when they see you, make sure you know you matter.

In the years, ok, let’s be honest decades since I have been married and divorced and become a Mom.

A LOT has happened.

Things I talk about.

Things I don’t.

There was a chunk of time I was pretty salty when it came to people. I bought into my own self doubt. I let a few bad apples cloud my judgment and I listened to the wrong people.

Becoming a Mom helped slowly turn that around, but also looking and focusing on all the good people I have in my life.

Who I have had in my life.

You can’t Iive your life waiting for someone to hurt you. You can’t not let someone in because of a what if.

Nothing is ever going to be perfect, but it can be pretty great.

I can’t say enough how much I appreciate Reed for one of my first/ best friendships.

Be safe and much love Mommas

<3 Caprise

Alone Does Not Equate To Lonely

Alone: adjective; having no one else present, exclusive of anyone or anything

Lonely: adjective; being without company, cut off from others, being solitary of mind

The difference between being alone & being lonely is:

    Alone describes your physical space. 

I live alone in my house. 

I did my grocery shopping alone today.

   Lonely describes your mental space.  

I am lonely sitting on this bench.

I felt lonely at that party last night.

You can easily be alone, be at home all by yourself, separated from others and feel alive, connected and in relationship with the people in your life.   You can be content with your ‘alone time’, finding things  you enjoy doing, when you are by yourself. Cooking, baking, crafting, reading.  You can be alone yet on the phone with a friend, FaceTime a family member or have a Zoom Meeting with your Book Club. 

Just as much as you can be in a crowded room full of people to connect with, conversations to be had, people to say hello to and feel very lonely.  You can be in a Study Hall full of classmates, a conference room stock piled with other colleagues or at the park with your kids and a handful of other moms and again, feel lonely.  

Lonely is an inside job.  Alone is an outside job.  

When you’re alone, you can very easily change the situation by changing your location.  You can go to the mall, library, church meeting Mom’s Group.  You can ask friends over for dinner or go to the movies with a few people.

When you’re lonely though, that is an internal battle to be won.  What causes your loneliness?  Is it the missing of your mate, the envy of your playful neighbors, the wanting of something different?  I am sure whatever it is, if you can identify it, and ….claim it, ….name it, ….look at it square in the eyes. You can find a solution.  It might be uncomfortable.  It might stretch you outside your comfort zone.  It might require something of yourself that you haven’t done in a long time. But I know like I know.  You CAN find a solution.  

Good luck my friend.  Lonely is not your middle name.

xoxo

Your God girl

Tracy

Making Friends Mid-Life

I just moved to Fort Wayne 7 months ago and I have so many wonderful friends today!  

I have so many new friends in my life because I said yes.  I said hello. I started a conversation. I smiled. I went to the meeting.  I joined the Study. I accepted the invitation. I went alone. I walked through the door.  You see…. I had decided before I moved here that I was going to make this a life worth living, I was going to meet women and I was going to enjoy my new home in this new place.  

If you want to be a part of a larger circle of girlfriends, it will take you getting out of your fragile way, it will take you being bold and stepping out and it will take you creating something different.  You will have to risk, you will have to research things happening near you and go alone, you will have to be in the mindset of positivity and possibility and love.

So, you say hi first.  And maybe that’s all it is…. is a hello.  This time. And maybe nothing comes from it.  It goes no further than that. But, MAYBE, just maybe… a compliment about her cute sweater creates a coffee date.  Maybe volunteering at the animal shelter turns into a friendship with someone you may never ever have met otherwise.  Maybe going to a yoga class alone and chatting afterwards you end meeting your new bestie and especially when you open your mind to the fact that you and the woman across the street can’t wait to meet each other… you end up creating a friendship only the heart can explain.

So to create a larger circle of friends… yes…. it requires you to go places and do things and kindly say hello.  You never know what could come next. It’s never ever too late in life to make new friends.

xoxo,

Your God girl 

Tracy

Sometimes You Have To Let A Friend Go

Sometimes I just can’t be that friend,the friend you want, sometimes I have to pick me and let you go.  Years ago,  I would never have thought of letting a friend go, I wouldn’t have had the self confidence to pick myself over another person.  I would have just gone with the flow and allowed the friendship to continue even if it was a struggle.

Last year, I knew I had to let a long term friend go.  I just could not survive the friendship anymore.  Our friendship was too much of a struggle for me and it was draining. I had my own challenges in my life and I just couldn’t give her the time and commitment she needed.  And in return, she was angry at me for not reaching out, or checking in, or being able to see her.  I did feel horrible and went back and forth with my decision.

I knew I did not have the time to commit to this friendship.  I did not have the energy and strength to put into it what it needed.  I could not make her happy.  I couldn’t be the friend that had to drive 2 hours to see her and she would never come this way to see me.  I could not be the friend that constantly reached out but didn’t receive anything back.  I could not put my energy into a friend that would never reach out to see how I was doing, but you were expected to reach out to her…I couldn’t do it anymore. The one that would never just call and ask how you are doing.. We had many fun times together but over the course of our lifetime, it became more and more draining.

I knew she would require more of a commitment than before.  I couldn’t commit, I just couldn’t do it.  I also could not take time away from other people that had been there for me in the last few years.  I could not be stressed about it anymore or feel like I disappointed her.  We might be friends again, but I mentally can’t do it right now.

I had to just say no I can’t do it. I had to say no I didn’t have the time to see her or come running.  I needed to put myself first.

I had always been the person that tried to do everything for my friends, even ones that I really didn’t feel that close to.   The old me would have put my needs aside to help her with her needs.  Yes, that is all great.  But after many times of not receiving the same treatment back, it becomes so exhausting and draining.   In the past, I had set myself up to fail…I finally realized I do not have to keep friends that drain me… Or keep one’s that take me away from things I felt were important in life.  I do not say yes to every event or activity that I am invited to anymore.  I have learned to hang out with friends that have the same interests as I do.  I have just had to let some friends fade out.

I try to eliminate the drama with friends. I will step away. I like friendships to come naturally and not be a lot of work.  I do not want to plan a fun night out and have it ruined by fighting or making others feel uncomfortable.  Or be with someone that needs to be the center of attention..

I have learned to set boundaries with certain friends.  It actually works!  I have friends that I love for many reasons, but I need to set boundaries.  Some friends I do not have more than one drink with or do not spend much time with outside of certain activities.  Or some friends I can only see for short periods.  It might sound selfish, but it is what keeps our friendship together.

I think the older I get the more I have realized that I do not need a lot of friends.  I do not have the time for all the drama.   I do not have to be friends with everyone.  I choose my time very wisely because it’s limited.  I learned to say no to big events and concentrate on smaller ones with the people that I really love.   I do not need to attend every halloween party, birthday party, work social, or christmas get together.

Friendships in your 40’s should be easy..the friends that stop by at 6 and don’t leave until midnight because you start doing a puzzle and laughing… Those are the friendships that I want to  last a lifetime.

-Snarky

 

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/blog

An Eye Opening Experience

I knew that entering into high school would bring many changes to my life. Not only was I prepared for the academic challenges I’d be facing, but I was ready for the social challenges that would come along when entering a new school. One thing I knew for sure was that those I had considered close to me at the time would stick with me through it all…or so I thought.

Recently, I went through something that I would never wish upon someone else. I had an experience that truly opened my eyes to the genuine intentions of some of the people around me. Someone that I considered quite close to me for so long, made me feel as if our friendship was of no value to them. They treated me with little respect, and made it obvious that my feelings did not affect theirs.

To be honest, I really had never experienced something on this level, and I was in complete shock for many of the following days. It wasn’t until this moment that I became aware that not everyone in your life is rooting for your success or happiness, even if you have always rooted for theirs. It was also a wake up call to see who was really there for me and who actually cared about my well-being.

I’m positive that this will not be the only time that something similar to this will occur, but hopefully this experience taught me something valuable about surrounding yourself with people who care about your happiness and how YOU feel.

My advice is to really figure out who these wonderful people in your life are, and to spend time building your positive friendships. I also suggest that you distance yourself from all the negative people that want to bring you down.

-Dani<3

My Friend Bill

I would like to tell you about my friend Bill. You may know him. He’s made a few movies. Big sports buff. Very quirky and he got his start on one of my favorite television shows.

When things in my life were feeling their lowest I started looking for positive outlets.

Me being me I needed them. It couldn’t be a glass of wine that would easily turn into a bottle. It couldn’t be a beautiful pastry my sweet tooth doesn’t ever seem to know when to stop.

It couldn’t be a trip to Target because it would mean a cart full of things I have no budget for.

It couldn’t be a night out because it can’t.

So…

I listen to music.

I read.

Watch movies, but I will be honest I am also easily distracted. 

I began digging deeper.

Looking for those things that would fill the gaps but wouldn’t lend themselves to my somewhat self destructive old habits.

Dear friends, I’ve sugar coated them. My bad habits.

Maybe a blog for another day.

Around this same time I watched the Razor’s Edge and Stripes. Two decidedly different movies from Bill Murray.

I mentioned to a friend how amazing I thought Bill Murray was. He suggested I read The Tao of Bill Murray.

My new friendship was born. Bill just doesn’t know it.

I also started digging into some amazing quotes from his.

As silly as it sounds these quotes have me some perspective I needed.

Here’s one:

“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you’re stupid and make bad decisions.”

Welp… lol, yes.

But this one, this is the stuff.

“Don’t think about your errors or failures, otherwise you’ll never do a thing.”

That is exactly what started happening. I got so bogged down by all of the things that went wrong, I either didn’t do anything or did WAY too much.

I always looked for the other ball to drop. The bad.

I keep saying this but not only is 48 my year of no filter it’s also the year I work hard at happy. The year maybe I can give that happy to other people too.  As it has been to me in so many ways. One in particular a picture of one of my Chewbaccas with the man himself. It’s my screensaver and it makes me smile.

There are still going to be bad days, but to paraphrase my friend Bill… maybe it will be a day that a slice of pizza and cold beer can make feel better.

Much love Mommas

<3 Caprise