Tag Archives: friends

The Fixer of Broken Boys Part 6: My First Party

Cherie squealed with excitement when we got back to our dorm. Not only were we going to a frat party, apparently my friend’s fraternity was pretty popular on campus.

Us going there gave Cherie a head start on her pledge journey.

I on the other hand was petrified.

I did not drink.

I did not date.

Oh and guess who had never been to a party? Maybe a little too much freedom at once. Cherie to her credit which is why she is still my friend saw my face.

“Oh Caprise…you’ve never been to a party before?”

“More than that…” I squeaked.

I rattled off all the reasons why I was afraid to go.

“Oh no, you’re going. But effective now- buddy system. No girl left behind.”

Scott encouraged me to invite a few ladies from my floor because of course he did. LOL.

From that night on we really did not leave anyone behind. It got wicked sometimes and ugly and feelings were hurt. But we stuck together. Except for one. And we will get there and it changed things.

Not a heartbreak but a disappointment that I have never let go because if it were me… well … will get there.

Sadly

My first college party was kinda of crazy. How could it not be? However, when your big brother – yup I became a little sister introduces you as knowing your Mom. My experiences were very tame.

As I’ve alluded to- the people who break your heart aren’t the ones you expect.

Poor Scott the one and only time he tried to kiss me- I got incredibly sick. God bless him he was one of the best nurses I ever had. Our paths cross once in awhile and everyone assumes we got together in college. We just chuckle as we both know he really was my big brother.

I know this was a bit light … but we are gearing up for my first big adult heartbreak. It’s tendrils still reach out to me years later so I’m trying to figure out how to write about heartbreak number five.

~~Caprise
Single Mom of the amazing Dbl G
Teacher
Sometime DJ
T-shirt collector
Henry Rollins Middle Aged Punk Prom Date

I Am Not A Guy’s Girl

I am not a guy’s girl….

A few weeks ago I spent the bulk of my weekend with one my favorite human beings. As we do we talked about our daughters, work, relationships and music.
My favorite human being is 6 ft 2 and thoroughly enjoys making me blush. As with the majority of my favorite human beings – he’s a he. I’ve known him for five years and what started out as a guy giving me tattoos who yes,I thought was a bit cute … turned into well – one of my favorite humans. This last time he made me cry as he gently scolded me on all the reasons why I should never be anyone’s second thought. The needles helped the tears lol.
Early on just by virtue of the neighborhood we lived in,the majority of my friends were boys. That did not mean however I didn’t play with Barbies or dress up. It just meant He-Man usually made an appearance and the elaborate braids my Mom put in my hair didn’t make it ever much past first recess. It also meant when in fifth grade a boy punched me in the stomach on the playground and my neighborhood brothers from another mothers were informed he never bothered me again. Neither did anyone else.

It also made dating pretty much impossible. My Mom was overprotective enough(a blog for another time) throw in the neighborhood boys… my one and only date in high school was arranged by my Mom. I went to homecoming with a guy friend and prom with a bunch of girls.
This might have been cause for concern heading into college except out the gate I became a little sister for a Frat.

My big brother who worked for my Mom and had known me since I was 16 introduced me this way: “this is my little sister Caprise I know her Mom.
Then I met the group of men- who honestly who have set the standard. They are my brothers from another mothers. They are the guys I did college radio with. The only reason I think I got offered a shift at our college radio station was because there was only one other woman on the air. I,however fell in love with it. As a shy girl who loved music I found my happy place and my people. I switched majors and never looked back.

The irony of this is for part of this time I lived in an all girls hall. So please don’t misunderstand -I have best friends who are women too. And it’s pretty sad when I hear women say I prefer male friends over woman friends- less drama. Maybe you’re just hanging out with the wrong ladies? I’m gonna say you are…ANYWAY…These guys were there for me through some pretty crazy stuff….and 20 plus years later STILL ARE(!)

I was dating new boyfriend when the old boyfriend decides to kiss me in front of everyone and declare he’s not over me. I get back together with old boyfriend who proceeds to sleep with the woman who hosts the morning show when I don’t. They both brag about it. Which results in a physical fight in library mall on campus between boyfriend and guy friend.

Boyfriend dumps me but can’t decide if that’s what he wants for over the course of a year.
An abusive relationship
Lots of really bad dates, lots, and lots
Getting passed over for way too many radio gigs
Getting married
Having a baby
Getting divorced
Changing careers
#cliffnotes

Through it all they held my hand. They have hugged me while I cried. Taken care of me when I was sick. Never once are they surprised by anything I share and they always believed in me. We tell each other we love each other. We’ve seen each other at our worst and best and still like each other.
Some of my favorite quotes from my guy friends:
“His taste in music was horrible.”
“Girl you glowed up.”
“I didn’t like his shoes.”
“Well he didn’t read.”
“You are the in majors he is in farm league.”
“Why wouldn’t Henry Rollins date you?”
“Well he’s an idiot.”
It means always having dates for various functions. Making up really bad nicknames for the men I dated…Sorry they still do. Being incredibly kind and hand me tissues when I lament I can’t seem to meet anyone. Everyone I meet is broken… that IS a blog for another time.
Letting me sob hysterically on the phone when I tell them I’m afraid I’ll never get married again after a man I was seeing forgot to mention he had a girlfriend.

There are always the awkward questions people ask about my relationships with my guy friends. I’m not doing that here. Out of respect for them. Me. Their incredible families…
But no a thousand million times no.

They are incredible and their amazing partners have become my friends. I have bad news fellas -if I ever have to pick sides …. lol
When I was pregnant my best guy friend and his very new girlfriend (now wife) drove an hour to meet my new daughter. No one else did that.

When I separated from my ex husband my other brother from another mother and his wife stayed with me on the weekends my daughter was gone. No one else did that.

When I finally decided to leave the man I had been with for six years after he lied about who I was to his family – my sweet friend “brother” listened to me as I sobbed and told only him the truth.

Calling me on my birthday to wish me a Happy Birthday because a Facebook post doesn’t seem right. Talked to me for four hours at a radio seminar.Take road trips with me.
Went with me to a funeral. Helped me pick out an outfit to wear to host an event

They have never complained about the amount of T-shirts my mascara has stained.
They always pick up the phone. They always text me back. They never tell me to get over it.

They are my brothers and they love me, quirks and all.

I feel the same about them.

~Caprise

Blessed. My Word Of The Day.

Blessed.  That’s the word and feeling I have today. Overwhelmingly so. I am blessed every day but today I feel grateful, humbled and blessed beyond words.

We had a fundraiser this past Sunday for my husband’s brother. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever taken part in. Unfortunately, you don’t realize how many friends, and caring, kind, loving people there are until “bad” things happen. I often wonder if “bad” things happen to remind you of all the good things & people that are there.

Life gets busy and all good intentions of reaching out to friends doesn’t happen nearly or often enough as it should. Reaching out for no other reason than to just be reaching out. The greatest realization that I have had with this is knowing that it happens to us all. That we don’t reach out as often as we should, that we tend to feel that we are “friendless”, that we are anti- social, that there is just not enough time in the day,….. Which this weekend has proven couldn’t be as far from the truth as possible.

I have been racking my brain the last two days trying to figure out how to show and express to everyone how much they mean to my family and how grateful we are for them. Honestly, I don’t know that there is anything we can do, we have done the thank-you, love you, appreciate you…maybe, just maybe, showing our appreciation will be returned when they need us. I don’t wish for anyone to have terrible things happen to them so we get the opportunity to return the love and kindness but as we all know life does some pretty crappy things.

Beyond blessed. That is who I am today. It’s a wonderful feeling to have.

Love to All-

Kim