Tag Archives: focus

Our Significance is Worth It

Our Significance is Worth Focusing Our Energy On

I was with a group of friends, women, who gather frequently as we have all started businesses. We encourage each other and build one another up – even in areas that were not about business. On one such occasion one of the ladies wanted to take a step back from her business because she had to “deal with some people.”

The first thing I wondered was, “why do we do this?” As women, the first thing we do while in a crisis mode is remove the one good thing (or things) we have going for us – it’s as if we feel we must not deserve anything good.

This is backward thinking.

This young lady said that she was just “tired of being hurt by (certain) people’s” words and opinions of her then proceeded to rattle off a list of things she had to do as she was no longer going to tolerate or “allow” people to hurt her. She also said that because of this, it would take her time away from working her business. While it is good practice to declutter our lives of things that hinder us from moving upward, to intentionally put off our life goals and dreams to wrestle with other people’s opinion of us is counterintuitive.

We have to shift our focus.

 How people negatively feel about us doesn’t matter. It is our life and for us only to understand and live out. The negative and non-life giving opinions of others DO NOT MATTER so it is not what we should be focusing on.

I said to her this: “what you are actually doing – putting your business on hold, fighting and arguing with these people who have wronged you (what she called “dealing with”) – is trying to salvage the feeling of significance to that person or in what is left of that relationship. The reality is that you have been so focused on the who in the scenario that you missed the what: your significance lies within you; it always has. You just have to be the one to see it.”

The message is clear.

If we are too busy focusing on all that we have lost or have intentionally given up to go up, then our focus is OFF OF the things we have gained and will gain having done so – including our significance.

We must make it top priority to remember, we are purposefully created to shine our brightness on others, so let’s focus on that – that is our significance. <3

Love always,

Rainey

Chaos Right In The Middle Of Life

Chaos has a way of putting itself right in the middle of life as you know it… without warning.  One minute you have things all together; you’re working on your to-do list, enjoying your home, making time with friends, reading a few good books, enjoying you….

Then out of nowhere to-dos become bigger and tougher to handle, people continuously ask things of you, time seems to get away without notice, your focus gets off God and the piles are piling.  How did the once controllable environment turn into such a chaotic state.

Before you scream “I want a do-over!”  Stop and take a deep breath.  What is the first thing you can remove from your plate?  …I’m not talking about the peas. Re-evaluate re-focus, re-assess and have your RE-DO!  Bring back the calmness of life….

Be the Light…..
 
Your God-Girl,. 
xoxo Tracy  

Choose Your Battles

Choose Your Battles
Choose your battles. Have any of you heard this before? This is by far the best advice I have ever received. It came from my mama! She has said it so many times to me that I am finally starting to see exactly what she meant.
I am learning to choose mine. Your 3-year-old wearing 2 shirts with one of them on backwards is not a battle worth fighting. He is dressed, he is clean, and he is happy (for the moment)! Hearing the two older kids argue about what song they want to listen to on the radio on the way to school is not a battle worth fighting. We will not listen to the radio at all! Trying to make someone understand your feelings when all they do is mock them is not a battle worth fighting.
Your feelings are valid. They are real.
Responding to negative posts about you that are posted on social media is not a battle worth fighting.
We don’t always have to win. We don’t always have to have the last word…as hard as it may be!
Let me tell you what battles are worth fighting. Fighting for what is right. Fighting for a happy life after living in a marriage that only brought you pain and frustration. Fighting for yourself and your children because no one is going to do it for you. Fighting to make sure that your children have the life they deserve even though that life isn’t what you planned. Fighting to look at the good instead of the bad! That is a tough one! These are the battles that really matter!
It is so easy to get caught up in the little conflicts that occur daily. It is so easy to focus on them and then lose sight of the bigger battles. I still focus on the wrong battles sometimes. I am only human! Putting my energy into the battles that really matter though has made a huge difference!
So choose your battles wisely friends!
-Ann

How Bad Do You Want It?

Look at your life and pinpoint for yourself some things that you really, really want.  Got them?  Good.  Now tell me how bad do you want them?  Do you want them bad enough to change everything about yourself that stands in the way of you getting them?  Do you want them bad enough to give up your behaviors that don’t work?  Do you want them bad enough to not give up until you get them?

Most people will probably tell you that they want certain things, however,  I would bet that they are not willing to do WHATEVER it takes to get them and that is why they still do not possess the things that they want.  I would also bet that most people don’t even fully understand the concept called ‘whatever it takes’—most people quit at the first sign of difficulty.  There are some people however that don’t quit…the Navy Seals don’t quit and truly self aware people don’t quit either because they know that quitting only perpetuates the circumstances in their lives that they don’t like.

Let’s talk about where most people lose it along the trail of getting what you want…you start out with a business or a goal or a relationship and everything looks kind of groovy at the beginning.  Then we move along in time and obstacles start to appear…the business doesn’t seem like such a good idea, the new relationship looks like a piece of shit, the goal you set out to accomplish looks WAY TOO HARD.  So you start to buy into that you didn’t want it anyway, you start to think of other things that you can do that would be “easier” —we call this the “grass is greener” syndrome—news flash—the grass is NEVER greener somewhere else…smarten up and learn to cultivate your own grass to make it the green that you want it to be—another news flash—this is HARD WORK…it requires commitment, discipline, purposefulness and doing what you said– NO MATTER WHAT.  If you want to win and get the things you want in life then you must go to war with all the things about yourself that don’t work.

Going to war with yourself means that you set out to prevail no matter what.  This means that you must give up paying attention to your ailments, grievances and complaints.  This means that you must only look at what you want… keep focused on the goal, the intention and let go of ANYTHING that is counterproductive to forward motion.  This looks like doing what you said no matter what opinion you have about it, it means not giving attention and energy to what isn’t working, it means NEVER giving up no matter what it looks like all around you…you keep yourself focused on what you want to achieve and you refuse to be swayed by anything that doesn’t get you to where you are going.

This kind of war on your self is not easy, in fact it is very, very difficult and therefore the average person would never even begin to attempt it.  The average person gets stopped in life by the first sign of trouble…they hit the first obstacle and they quit.

In Navy Seal training an average starting class of 80 people ends up to be about 20 or so by the time graduation rolls around…the men that want to be Navy Seals NO MATTER WHAT are the ones that graduate.  In Seal training they are wet, cold, sleep deprived, physically challenged, mentally challenged and pretty much put through what most people have nightmares about—the BEST part of this…they ASK for it…they WANT to go…they strive to EXCEL…they want to be THE BEST…imagine that?  Navy Seal candidates want it so bad that they will do anything to get it.  Would you go through that kind of hell to get what you want?  Are your goals important enough for you to overcome yourself to achieve them?

Any goal or thing worth having is worth whatever challenge you have to go through to get it…that is the beauty inherent in the system of achievement…when you overcome yourself, when you work hard, when you change yourself to achieve something, then you can REALLY HAVE IT…you can REALLY appreciate it, you can feel deserving of it because you know that you EARNED it and it is yours to keep…be it a relationship or a successful business or a degree…whatever.

If you get something and you didn’t work for it the satisfaction of it is very short lived…handouts don’t teach us anything…challenging ourselves to be better teaches us a wisdom that can’t be learned any other way…xoxoxo

Not Giving Attention To Negative Thoughts

Yesterday we talked about replacing  thoughts..  Today I want to talk about what giving attention to negative thoughts will create for you…

Your thoughts are far more powerful than you might imagine and they go forward to create your future.  What you think about, speak about, talk about and give your attention to WILL become your reality, so you have to be very mindful of what you are focused on.

The thoughts that you hold in mind will produce after their own kind and your thoughts will produce an energy field around you that will end up attracting to you the kinds of things that you are thinking.

Remember that character in Peanuts, Pigpen?  He had a dirt cloud that surrounded him wherever he went, crappy thoughts will work like that…they will form a dirty cloud around you and they will begin to attract things that are similar.  Negative circumstances are no mystery; they arrive because we have given too much attention to negative thoughts, worry, fear and doubt.  We will also attract unfavorable circumstances when we are critical, judgmental, angry and ungrateful…like attracts like…that will always be true. Misery loves company.

Thankfully this same principle of ‘like attracts like’ will work in your favor when you start thinking more positive things, when you are grateful and when you focus on what’s good and what works.

There is no EASY button for changing your thinking or for teaching yourself how to stay focused on what you want more of, it requires discipline and work to stay vigilant about your thinking.  However, the results that can be produced by this practice are life-altering…you CAN create the life that you want and the Holiday Season that you want, you just have to be willing to do the work…xoxoxo

 

Being Kind-Being A Blessing-Bringing A Blessing

Be Kind. It’s time to take the ‘judgy’ pants off…time to stop being impatient with people, time to stop being critical of yourself and others…time to start lifting the fallen and healing the broken.

As I have said over the past two days, this time of year is soooo difficult for some people and has challenges for all of us because everything is in a heighted state.  It is so easy to lose your temper at someone or become annoyed with their behavior…yet do you realize that they are honestly doing the best that they can for who they are in the moment?  We never, ever know what people are going through and we have no right to pass judgement on the brief part of them that reveals itself in our world, it is our job to be KIND, to bring a blessing, to be a blessing…

People will respond to kindness and you never know the difference that you could make for someone by simply being kind.  Today I went to the Price Chopper here in Vermont, where I live…it’s a grocery store.  The cashier that checked me out was grim looking and somewhat snappy, so I just started asking her how she was today and how her Thanksgiving was etc.  My first instinct was to withdraw when she seemed short, however I work hard to practice what I preach and so I just kept bombarding her with kindness and by the time she was done checking me out, her demeanor had shifted and she told me that she hoped I had a really good day.

We have to go outside our normal reaction, we need to come up higher and really work to bring good into everything we do and every place we go.  When you start focusing on this, on how you can be a blessing for other people then your seeming problems will work themselves out.  GOD has a special place in his heart for people that bless other people, when you are taking care of others GOD will take care of you.

This is a practice and sometimes you have to force yourself, take me today for instance…it’s been a stressful day and I had to remind myself to sit down and write a post for you guys even though I am feeling blah today…I knew that if I focused on you it would cheer me up and I was right:)  See you tomorrow…xoxo

Adjust your Attitude…

time for an attitude adjustment

Attitude is everything than adjusting our attitudes on a regular basis seems as necessary as putting gas in your car.  The car won’t run without gas and your life won’t work well with a crappy attitude.  Lord knows there seem to be plenty of reasons to be in a bad mood, I encounter at least 3 or 4 every hour:)  However, there are just as many reasons, if not MORE, to be in a good mood and have a positive attitude.  It all depends on your perspective and what you want to spend your time focusing on…what is right with everything or what is wrong with everything.  That whole glass half full/ glass half empty conversation.

Here is the main reason to adjust for the better…it affects EVERYTHING around you, you can either build people up or break them down.  Your attitude is the main key to that. 

We have enough things in this world trying to break people down, so don’t go that route—adjust your attitude for the better, even if it pains you.  Leave the world better than you found it, set a good example and be a bright light for people…not a dark cloud.  Come up higher with your attitude today, I will if you will:)