Tag Archives: feeling

Love Is A Powerful Thing

Love is a powerful thing

When you love another, ….do you love full out?

My hope is YES!!!!

Do you spread your heart wider than you thought possible?  Do you go deep within to reveal the power of your love?  Do you trust yourself enough to love at full throttle?

My hope is, YES!!!!

Do you love with no conditions, no guidelines, no presumptions, no expectations?

My hope is YES!!!!

Love is certainly a multidimensional thing.  I love my mother.  I love my son.  I love coffee too, but that’s a different kind.  I’m talking about the kind of love that comes from your heart.  Your open, vulnerable, God-thriving heart.  The place where your sacred self dwells, the place where maybe only a few have tread.  Where the sweet essence of raw, real, true love… lives.

The world is so good at teaching us to be careful, to watch out for the other shoe to drop, to be on your guard, etc etc etc…..  sooooooo in that space of watching and protecting, we wall ourselves off from what may be coming right at us.  Love that’s ready to embrace us, pounce on us and scoop us up.

When we question and doubt the love from another we take the chance of having none.  Look at yourself and see where do you doubt your own?  Where do you deny, give up, sell out on yourself?  Where do you not believe, trust or value your own heart?

When you know…like you know…like you KNOW….. that you are made of love, by love, for love… things will change.  Your life will change.  Your heart will change.  You will send your love out to the world, through your words, through your actions, through your smile.  And love will be all there is.

xoxo

Your God-girl

Tracy

On Being In Love

In one of my other blog posts, I wrote about the feeling of limerence, or basically, the “in love” feeling. It may have seemed that I downplayed the emotion, and the truth of the matter is that I meant to at the time. I have tossed it around in my head quite a lot lately and have reframed it some. I think it is important, in life, that we reassess and reevaluate our thoughts and beliefs. Otherwise, we would stagnate.

So, on being “in love:” you see I add air quotes when talking about it. I think I’ve reframed the emotions so much in my mind that I do not believe in using the term anymore. It is confusing because love and in love are not the same, yet they contain the same word. Just think about how many times you have heard people say, “we still love each other, we are just not in love anymore.” Is that not confusing? Also, how is it that I can date someone for a while and know without a doubt that I love them, but be unsure about whether or not I am in love with them? The emotions are different, they just are. They have similarities and goodness knows we need both in the world. I think that in my head though, I’ve given limerence a bad rap. It got me into some trouble in life and I have let that experience color the whole chemical filled emotion. It turns out, I don’t think that is fair.

I am a writer, not a scientist. I don’t look at my life objectively very well. I assimilate my experiences and try to ascribe theories to what I am going through. Then I watch others to see if their behavior supports my conjecture. When it does, I tend to think I’m onto something. And I did, with this. Don’t get me wrong, I still think the theory is correct, I just don’t think it is right to outright dismiss being in love.

You will find I am big on movie and literary quotes. Truthfully, this is because I am not arrogant. So many people have said things so much better than I ever could. Sometimes you may laugh or roll your eyes at the ones which have stuck with me, but there is always a reason. So, though I went slightly on a tangent, my point is this; I really love this quote from Armageddon because it completely proves me wrong. In the movie, a young woman’s boyfriend is going into space and the two of them are having a picnic before he leaves.

Grace: Baby, do you think it’s possible that anyone else in the world is doing this very same thing at this very same moment?

AJ: I hope so, otherwise, what the hell are we trying to save?

If you saw the movie, you would know they were in love and they were talking about being in love. And if they weren’t, that is how I interpreted it. The thing is, after considering it for a long time, being in love is one of the best feelings on Earth. The problem is that we want it to stay exactly how it feels in the beginning. Because the beginning is so great. I am sure in the future I will write on why it isn’t possible for those feelings to stay exactly the same, but for now I want to expound on the giddy feelings.

People deserve to feel those feelings. They are some of the best in the world. The euphoria you get when you look into someone’s eyes with whom you have a deep connection is honestly the stuff that makes the world go ‘round. I wish we could bottle it up and put it on a shelf for a rainy day. I wish all the bad things in the world did not happen, but with that feeling, the world cannot be all bad. I truly feel this way. And I truly understand why people chase it at all costs.

I have plenty of advice on love, but this is not about that. This is an acknowledgment that I was wrong to roll my eyes. I was wrong to dismiss being in love. I was wrong to act like it is an unwelcome visitor. It is wonderful, and fun. I’m lucky to have felt it, and I hope if you haven’t, you someday will.

Just remember, though it is wonderful, it comes with rules just like everything else. But I think maybe it takes strength to realize that you were wrong and admit it, and it takes strength to understand where you were right as well.

Stronger than yesterday,

Alice

Shedding The Shame

Shame has been a feeling I have lived with for as long as I can remember, even as far back as elementary school. Shame has made me feel powerless, worthless, invisible. A couple weeks ago as I drank my coffee on my back porch I read a post from Scary Mommy on Facebook about anxiety/depression and complex trauma and it was like a punch to the gut. It has stuck with me and my thoughts kept returning to one particular part that describes me and my journey so completely it took my breath away.

“At the first sign of anxiety or depression, traumatized people will spiral into toxic shame. Depending on the wounding messages they received from their abusers, they will not only feel the effects of anxiety and depression, but also a deep shame for being “defective” or “not good enough.” Many survivors were emotionally and/or physically abandoned, and have a deep rooted knowledge of the fact that they were insufficiently loved. They live with a constant reminder that their brains and bodies were deprived of a basic human right. Even present-day situations where they are receiving love from a safe person can trigger the awareness and subsequent grief of knowing how unloved they were by comparison.”  https://themighty.com/2018/06/anxiety-from-complex-trauma/#_=_

Shame has been a part of the demons way to control my thoughts. Shame has been a tool of the abusers in my life to make me feel small. Shame has been a feeling that others wanted me to live with for my choices. Shame has been a way to keep the my warrior quiet. I have been shamed for my depression, for my sexuality, for my belief in looking at the good in people, for only being a teacher, for my failures, for my mistakes, for celebrating by wins, for the way my body looks, for my relationships, and for daring to be happy.

I am done living with what others think of what is the right path for me. I am done letting shame keep me from following my passions. I am done with shame telling me I am defective or not good enough. I am done with people who try to shame me into living according to what they believe is proper behavior. My warrior is gaining more power and the demons are losing because I am done with shame.

I choose instead to surround myself with people that will love me despite my mistakes and understand that my mistakes are a part of what has made me this beautiful, powerful warrior goddess. People who can see that I do the best I can each and every day, and love me even on the days I struggle to make it through that day. People that feed my soul with love and kindness, and want to see more that in the world around us.  People who understand my passion, my dreams, my hopes and push me to make them a reality. People who love me even when I react out of fear and know that I am a work in progress. I choose people who see my worth and believe I am good enough each and every day. I am done with shame!

~ Kellie

Working each day to be the warrior and leader I know is within me. You can follow me at https://wordpress.com/view/leaderofthepacks.blog

Respond…Instead of Feeding Into A Reaction…

Respond, don’t react.  This is something that I have talked to you guys about more than once and in fact I believe it is even a chapter in the new book that came out last November.  When we are in the middle of an argument or faced with a stressful situation or in the midst of an emotionally charged situation we are “in a reaction” meaning that we are upset, without our equilibrium, feeling unsettled, have temporarily lost our bearings etc, etc—just sort of in the center of a shit storm.

This is NOT the time to make decisions!  Any decision made in the middle of a reaction will not be a fortuitous one. In fact it will likely be a regrettable one.  This I know from experience:)

Reacting is automatic, it is never measured or thought out…reacting is yelling, slamming doors, walking out, speaking before you think it through…you guys know what I am talking about, we have all been there, done that.  Nothing good ever comes from allowing yourself to get lost in a reaction.

When you find yourself in this state the biggest favor you can do yourself is to STOP talking, take a breath, leave the room, walk away for a moment…whatever it takes to give yourself a chance to hit the ‘reset’ button.  Once you have composed yourself and calmed down, you can think about how you want to RESPOND.

Responding takes a conscious effort, it allows for an action appropriate to the situation at hand.  There is an immense amount of power by responding in lieu of reacting.

Reactions bring drama and nobody needs more drama…

Responding means that you have to know when to walk away and take a moment, meaning that you may not get the last word or you may not get to hammer your point home…and you may not get to be ‘right’—responding means acting like a grownup which is always a good thing:)