Tag Archives: experiences

Don’t Write About Me(!)

I have been writing since I can remember. I am not one for poems or fiction because to be blunt I’m pretty awful at it. My wheelhouse has always been pulling from what I’m going through.You can blame that on the many friends and family members who bought me diaries and journals.

The hard lesson I’ve learned over the years is when you write from the heart not only is it painful to put on paper it’s equally painful to read.

So as I was getting ready to approach this new chapter in my writing journey… see what I did there? I let those close to me know.

My sweet Dad who is to blame for me being both an avid reader and writer immediately yelled out “don’t write about me!”

I promise this is probably it Dad.. Sorta. But it is a slippery slope.

Every week I put myself out there.

I usually do have a plan. I keep a bunch of post its with topic ideas handy in case my ritual of an adult beverage and accompanying music of the moment leave me stuck.

But full transparency these blogs come from moments. They’re  moments that I think if I’m feeling this way maybe someone else is too and maybe just maybe they will read this and maybe not feel better, but know they’re not alone.

That can sometimes be the hardest thing. No matter who you are. But when I first left my ex husband I felt it. Hard. There were a few people who really stepped up and they know who they are.  That leads me back to the beginning of this post. When I write these I am trying so hard to not be hurtful, to keep things that are mine, mine but still share those moments.

In a recent post I alluded to a new person in my life. He caught it. Believe it or not I’m actually a pretty guarded person. If you read my series the Fixer of Broken Boys … well you know why. I’m working on it. So it can be hard for me to tell the people I care about what they mean to me, but I can write it here.

I know I don’t get it either.

Again, working on it.

It’s scary. Sharing your life. Your joys. Your not so great days. The ugly. The great. The newest wrinkle.

But that’s WHY I’m here. That’s why I’m write. That’s why I share. So on those days- YOU know someone’s got you Momma.

 

Hi there- my name is Caprise, I’m your tattoo’d, music loving, Henry Rollins obsessed, Mom of the  amazing G, single working Mom cheerleader… and I’m going to try my hardest to remind you we got this.

<3

Adventures in Parenting: Dignity is Overrated

Adventures in Parenting: Dignity is Overrated

I once read that children are like little Zen masters who push at our most fixed ideas, forcing us to grow as individuals by confronting who we really are. I prefer to think of it this way; when God gives you the incredible gift of children, He also gets a good laugh at your expense, knowing full well that you will learn a thing or two. I believe it is best to keep an open mind, laugh right along, and enjoy the ride.

Take dignity for example. I have come to the conclusion that it is highly over rated. Before I became a mom, people would have referred to me as “dignified”, “reserved”, “boring” or perhaps “stick in the mud”. And mind you, these were my friends.

Not long ago I went to a playground with Adorable Daughter #1. As soon as we got there, she exclaimed, “Come on Mom, let’s play!” Hoping that she will have some childhood memories in addition to the 47,562 times I tell her to “WALK”, “eat your vegetables” or “brush your teeth”, I ran after her toward the jungle gym. We climbed the ladder, crawled through one of those giant hamster tunnels, and slid down the slide. About the time I was half way through the giant hamster tunnel; I couldn’t help but think,

“Should an un-athletic woman who is inching toward middle age with alarming speed be crawling on her hands and knees inside one of these things?”

“I should have checked the maximum weight capacity.”

“I don’t see any of the other adults doing this.”

About that time I heard Adorable Daughter #1 calling out, “Come on Mom! Let’s go down the slide!” I scampered to the end of the tunnel and poked my head out. She was grinning from ear to ear, her beautiful black curls flying in the wind. We plopped on to the slide together and yelled “Whee!” all the way down.

Too soon, my adorable daughters will decide that silly behavior is… well, silly. Not long after that, adolescence will arrive and they will walk into the bathroom to do their hair not to emerge for five or six years. I can only hope that by that point I will have planted the seeds so that as they grow they will value education, have a strong work ethic, and make good choices about friends and boyfriends, knowing that I will always be there to support them.

Until those fateful days arrive, we’re going to have some fun.

The other day I was walking down the sidewalk with Adorable Daughter #1 by my side and Adorable Daughter #2 in her stroller. As it started to sprinkle, we began to sing “If all of the rain drops were lemon drops and lollipops”. When we got to the part where we were sticking our tongues out and singing “aahh aahh aahh aahh aahh aahh”, I noticed a couple smiling at us. I smiled back and kept singing.

Liz Possible is a Writer and Single Mom Extraordinaire. She lives in Minnesota with her two teenage daughters and their cats, Beau and Phoebe. “Possible” is her attitude, not her legal name — but then you knew that.

Follow her on twitter at https://twitter.com/LizPossible1 and at her blog, https://lizpossible50singleandlovinglife.wordpress.com.

Never Ever Be Ashamed of Doing What It Takes

I was once ashamed. I am no more, not now and not just because of where I am at presently. I am proud of what I have done to get where I am at, I did whatever it took to get here, there were moments of embarrassment. But now I realize I refused to live my life in misery and I refused to bring children in to the world of misery, the world can be pretty miserable on its own. Everyone’s idea of what ashamed means is different and by no means is this blog post trying to portray there is shame in anything one does to make a better life for themselves and their family.

I read an article, The Executive Director of a Non-Profit and a Waitress, on my friend’s Facebook page the other day, I have never lost a child so I cannot even pretend or imagine to know what this mother feels like. I hurt for her, hurt so much for any parent that loses a child. It’s one thing I for sure am uncomfortable with on how to act and react. I have friends who have lost children, and I just never know what the right thing is to say or do. I do the best I can but know that it is probably never even close enough to offer the right amount of comfort. I just hope that in some way it helps.

As I read her article I could relate to the idea of having a job(s) in which I was embarrassed about. In the moment of those jobs, I felt I was better and deserved better. I waited tables, worked overnights at a convenience store, bar maid, fry-cook at a little local drive-in. Whatever it took to pay the bills, most weeks I was working doubles and triples every day. I had to borrow money from my little high school brother to be able to give Christmas to my little girl. I felt judged and ridiculed, ashamed by those who did know me and saw me working these jobs-I don’t know why I felt this way-I was good at what I did! And it PAID the bills. I also knew within myself this was not my permanent. I had dreams, hopes, aspirations and I didn’t just “want to get by”. Maybe that’s why I felt that I was being judged?!? Maybe that’s why I felt that these jobs were beneath me.

I worked 10 years at a very popular fast food chain…I started at the very bottom of the totem pole doing the “teenage” jobs that paid barely $6.00 an hour(Yes, I am old..lol). BUT-there was continual room for advancement…and I did just that. I made bank and received HUGE quarterly incentives, medical/life insurance, paid sick and vacation time, they sent me places for meetings and these places were the first time I had ever been on a plane, I saw Vegas, and Disney World! But with all that and all the “ashamed” jobs, I got something way more than incentives and pay. I learned hard work pays off, established a great work ethic, learned the ins/outs of running a business from advertising to budgets, ran payroll, inventories, and was educated in human resources, how to interview, how to have compassion for others who need their jobs, life long friendships, and how not to be buffaloed 🙂 My customer service skills I like to think are top notch! It was a sad day for me, my employees and my supervisors when I put in my notice. It was time for me to do what I knew I always wanted to do and that was run my own business…and where I am not entirely where I want to be just yet, I will NEVER be ashamed of those jobs ever again, they offered and taught me things I would never have learned in college(although if you can go to college, I insist you do!). Real life experiences, and hard work taught me what I needed to know.

A person does what it takes to get to where they want to be-there is absolutely no shame in striving for an end goal. I take college classes off and on to stay on the up and up of social media and accounting laws but I would never trade in those jobs for anything!

Never be ashamed….

Love to All-Kim

 

 

Experiences Teach Us So Many Life Lessons

I’ve had a lot of experiences through my life, both good & bad. Time and maturity has taught me to handle things differently than when I was 20 years old. I know that I have mentioned before that when Noelle asked me to start blogging, I was scared to death and very hesitant on if I had anything to offer anyone. I have no degrees in psychology, therapy or anything other than my marketing and the same degree that everyone else receives from living, that degree is Life.

I don’t know if anything I have said throughout the posts has helped anyone or if I expect it to. Writing has helped me, that I can attest to. I like to think I have made a difference to someone, somehow, somewhere. But really all I have to offer is the lessons that I have learned through experiences. And sometimes that’s enough for someone to see that they too can become who they want and know that they aren’t alone.

Life isn’t easy-I use to look at someone and think “if you only knew”..and then I remind myself that what is a walk in the park for me may be the hardest thing they have ever dealt with. That perception came with maturity. We’ve gone down MY”I am a victim” road many times. I have stayed on that road many times, it does no one any favors.  It takes a lot of work to find the balance between life, work, wants, needs, expectations, love, family and the list goes on. I never want anyone to perceive that I have all the answers or the know all to everything because I mostly certainly don’t. My only hope is that I am helping someone in some way.

 

 

Love To All-Kim

The Price Of Wisdom

Webster’s Dictionary defines the word wisdom as-

1. a :accumulated philosophical or scientific learning :knowledge
    b :ability to discern inner qualities and relationships : insight
    c :good sense: judgement
    d :generally accepted belief
2wise attitude, belief, or course of action
3.  the teachings of the ancient wise men
From what I have learned, wisdom, does not come easy. I don’t consider myself a know all in everything worldly. When I offer advice to friends, it’s just that-advice, and opinion. My experiences are not their experiences. I can only hope that what I am saying is helping in some way and at the very least I am someone to listen.
Wisdom for me has come with a lot of sacrifices. Sacrifices that I am good with having given.
Experiences that haven’t always been the greatest, but at the back end of those experiences have come some of the best people, memories and moments of my life. That would be the wisdom I would offer to you-everything you go through and have gone through there is a silver lining. A lesson, an experience. You have gained something through those experiences…wisdom, judgement, knowledge, insight. You have taken those moments, and experiences and shared them with others in hopes that you are helping at least one person. You teach your children in hopes that they will listen and make choices based on your wisdom and life experiences. You take what you have learned and apply it to the rest of your life.