A dream with no direction or work is just a wish.. All my life I’ve been a dreamer, but at the age of 29 single with three kids I couldn’t just dream anymore, It was time for action. I decided a while ago I wanted to be a realtor. So I put my nose to the grindstone and did research on how to become licensed in my state. Being on a fixed income I had to find the most affordable without taking away from the educational experience. Real estate board are extremely difficult to pass so if I was going to invest in myself I needed to do it right.
After a couple of months of research and saving I found a small local school where the classes were only 250 a peice. Three classes span over three weeks, A lot of information in a short amount of time for a price I could kinda afford. I got this I would tell myself every morning before class to quell the fear and self doubt. You see This was a big step a big process for me. I was making one of my dreams real and tangible. Which ment it was no longer protected and safe in my dream world… It could fail, I could fail. Reading myself affirmations every morning and simply telling myself I could do helped me push through all the obstacles I faced over the three weeks; I became extremely sick my second week, I refused to miss a day. the third and final week my car broke down, so I took the money I saved for my start up costs and repair my vehicle and then door dashed while I finished my classes to make up the money.
After all of that hard work I passed both of my exams, on my first try! I was so proud of myself. I quickly Joined a Brokerage, possibly too quickly. I became frustrated and felt uncomfortable in the office that I choose. After almost of two months of what felt like beating against a brick wall I switched brokers. I switched to a Team with Remax results and I am just starting to get back into the swing of things. I feel more comfortable here and I am excited to continue my journey as a Realtor.
Until next time..
Always be unapologetically true to yourself,
Excitement comes in all sizes, shapes, styles and kinds… just like presents. Sometimes when I am excited about something I also feel relief and on occasion it comes with anxiety for me.
My dad finally agreed to come to our house for a few days. That was 2 weeks ago-I was super excited to see him and hopeful for the future and maybe the possibility of him being back in my life. It happened pretty fast, his decision to come, and I didn’t have much time leading up to him arriving to dwell over whether it was a good thing, bad thing, the right thing or the wrong thing. It takes about an hour to get to his house, the morning I went to go pick him up, I went alone and that hour was NUTS-back and forth between excitement, anxiety, and fear. I am pretty sure I talked myself out of turning around at least half a dozen times. But I pushed through, picked him up and brought him back to our home. It was a weird 3.5 days. I can’t say it was the best 3 days I have ever had, although one would like to think after over 2+years of not seeing your father it would be the greatest reunion ever. It didn’t quite happen like that-there were moments where I was pissed at him and his actions while in our home but I chose not to cause a disagreement. There were moments where I wanted him to be back at his home. Moments of sadness looking at this man and not really knowing who he was and wondering if I want to know him. I also felt pity. He is nothing of who he use to be and after this I have understood and accepted that, FINALLY.
It was pretty low-key, we did very little except hang around the house with the kids and eat. My kids were excited, and seemed to have enjoyed the time they spent with Grandpa. My older two know more of what Grandpa goes through with his addiction(s) and mental illness, my youngest knows none of it.
My excitement of this visit comes from anticipating that maybe this time he has hit his rock bottom and not excited that he had to hit the bottom but excited that maybe he finally realizes what he is losing/lost.
MAYBE-there is always that maybe-I’ve said maybe a million times over with the rock bottom. And for those of you who understand-you can relate to the excitement with the anxiety.
Love to All-Kim