Tag Archives: evaluate

Experiencing a Setback? Push Forward

Experiencing a Setback? Push Forward.

After a lengthy hiatus from writing, I’m back and am as ready as ever to trudge ahead towards my goals, and ultimately, my dream. It’s amazing how easily a setback—big or small—can discourage us or even stop us from our goals and what we have set out to do. . .if we let it.

For me, it started out as a simple yet paralyzing case of writer’s block. Yes, writer’s block—it is a thing. All my fellow writers out there will completely understand. My head was flooded with ideas on what to write about, but as soon as I’d sit to put those ideas into words, I had nothing. Nothing!

While the writer’s block was enough to make feel as if I were up to my neck in quicksand, it was a phone call I received from my website hosting provider that really did me in. Two words: malware infection. Now I really was at a complete standstill.  Because of the malware infection, my site was shutdown. Completely. I couldn’t even access my own content. The countless hours I put into developing my website and creating content, now seemed like it was all for nothing.

At the time, I was on a very strict budget and couldn’t afford the hundreds of dollars I was told it would cost to get back up and running. I broke down into tears. This roadblock set me back for months. I felt like giving up, but I knew I couldn’t. After further research, I found a very affordable security company to go with, and I was back up and running within 24 hours. Finally!

Remember Why You Started

Regardless of how much passion we may have for something or how determined we are to attain the goals we have set for ourselves, it becomes a little too easy to lose sight of our purpose or just completely give up when things don’t go as planned. Remind yourself why you started in the first place. We don’t put blood, sweat and tears into something for the heck of it. What are your end goals? Your purpose?

Re-evaluate Your Goals

Setting unrealistic goals can lead to further frustration, making the likelihood of executing them even less. This is when it becomes necessary to re-evaluate your goals and/or set new ones; ones that are more attainable.

Once we have fallen off-track, it can become extremely difficult to get back on, especially as more time passes. Sometimes it requires taking baby-steps to get us to where we want to be. Remember, we must crawl before we walk; walk before we run. Keep in mind, progress is progress no matter how small.

Victories Must Be Celebrated

After re-evaluating and/or setting new goals, reward yourself. Victories must be celebrated. Don’t forget, small victories are still victories and are noteworthy. Oftentimes it will be these small victories that will not only carry you through the more difficult times, but will also boost your motivation and self-confidence. And, who doesn’t need a little boost once in a while? It will also be these small victories that will lead you to the bigger ones. Sounds like a win-win to me!

Hold Yourself Accountable

Ah yes, accountability. . .something we all need in our lives. Whether it’s creating a schedule, a checklist, or even leaving yourself post-it notes throughout the house—I’ve done all three—holding yourself accountable is a surefire way to success. The best part is, you don’t have to do it alone. You can always find an accountability buddy to give you that extra nudge if needed.

Final Thoughts

In closing, I would like to offer some words of encouragement. Whatever your passion, purpose or goals are, never give up. Will it be easy? No. Will everything go as you planned? Absolutely not! But, you can do it. Anything worthwhile is worth fighting for. The only thing you will regret is not trying.

“A setback is a push forward in disguise” ~ LMD

~ Lindsey

https://farfromahousewife.com/

Advantages of a Perfectly Imperfect Mom

I am a perfectly imperfect mom. I come from a long line of women like this — women who do their best, women who make messes, women who clean up those messes. Women who KEEP GOING. ​There are advantages of having a perfectly imperfect mom. Here are a few of them:

Perfectly Imperfect moms turn their mistakes into valuable life lessons

Around the time of my divorce, I said some vile things about my estranged husband to my children. I deeply regret having done this. I was in a great deal of pain at the time, and used poor judgement. After beating myself up about this for a (long) while, I decided to take a healthier approach. I apologized to my children. I explained to them that I was very sad and angry and should not have said those things, and that I would do my best to make amends by not doing that in the future.

Not long ago, one of my daughters called someone a nasty name. I said, “You know how I feel about name calling. That is not an acceptable word in our family.” Her retort was, “You’ve called Dad that!” I took a deep breath and was able to say, “That’s true. I have called him that, and I apologized for it. I also have not called him that in over 5 years now.”

Will I win mother of the year for not choosing to call my ex names? No. But in the real world of making mistakes and striving to do better, I am proud of this one.

Perfectly Imperfect moms are funny

One day the toilet in my house overflowed. In the midst of grabbing towels and starting to clean up the mess, I yelled “Shit!” at the top of my lungs. My younger daughter immediately scolded me for saying a bad word. I pointed out to her that I was literally cleaning up poop when I yelled that word, therefore I was making an accurate observation.

She asked if she could yell that word, too. I thought this one over, and said that whenever a toilet overflowed in our house, it was okay for anyone to yell “shit”, but that was the only exception to the rule. My kids both laughed with me and have now explained to their friends that you are only allowed to say “shit” in our house if a toilet overflows.

This rule works for me. It also entertains our guests.

Perfectly Imperfect moms do the right thing (even if they don’t do it right away)

When my older daughter was 2 years old, I once sent her to daycare wearing a perfect outfit — adorable yellow overalls, a new floral top, perfectly coordinated socks and new shoes. She looked like she could have been a 2 year old model. I was ridiculously proud of my feat.

When I picked her up that afternoon, she came out with a painting in her hand and exclaimed that she had made it herself. In addition to the paint that was on the paper, there was paint on everything she was wearing, including the shoes. When I saw her beautiful face grinning with pride, I had the presence of mind to take a breath and exclaim, “Cool! Can you tell me about your picture?”

After that, I sent her to daycare in appropriate play clothes, and expected them to be played in. I also said nothing about the paint to the daycare lady who made my daughter’s days safe and fun so I could earn a living. We both had more important priorities.

So the next time you start to beat yourself up for not being a perfect mom, take a breath and realize that there are no perfect moms​. Think about the cool things that you and your children can both learn from your imperfections. Then hug the stuffing out of them (even if they are old enough to pretend that they don’t like it — because they really do).

Liz Possible ​is a Writer and Single Mom Extraordinaire. She lives in Minnesota with her two teenage daughters and their cats, Beau and Phoebe. “Possible” is her attitude, not her legal name — but then you knew that. Follow Liz at her blog at www.lizpossible.com and her FaceBook page at https://www.facebook.com/MySingleMomLife/

Finding Time For Self Care

 

Finding time for self care is difficult. As single working mothers we can all reach that point of just one more thing going side ways and we will explode. It can be as small as spilling the last of the coffee or as big as our main mode of transportation breaking down on the way to work in the middle of winter.

The fact is as working mothers we carry a lot of expectations on our shoulders. Our own and societies. We are supposed to not only juggle the children with all their wants and needs and have a perfectly balanced “normal” family, Perfectly balanced with our jobs bills and other responsibilities all while looking like runway models! Top that with anyone who struggles with any chronic major health issues and its enough to make any person break.

We as mothers some times forget self care, or chalk it up to a want instead of the need it really is. Mental and physical self care keep us going through the ups and downs of the single parent life. Self care looks different to each person. One mom might find having a glass or two of wine while relaxing in the tub as self care while another might find going out to a noon showing at the movie theater  alone while the kids are at school as the the ultimate mental vacation from life.

I have met many moms that shrugged it off because of time.  There is many ways to fit in self care time. For instance if you cannot fathom taking a day or even a afternoon to your self try setting aside 10-30 minutes before bed. Pop in some relaxing music and soak in the tub or watch your favorite show.

If you have to literally schedule your personal time in, do it! No matter what your self care is, please remember yourself. You deserve it, and so does your little family. If your not operating at 100% how can you expect yourself to meet the demands of raising your family? You can’t.

Another form of self care is to evaluate the things that you find completely unbearable in your life but you still put yourself through due to some kind of obligation. Wether it be a job or an event you attend, making yourself miserable isn’t something you should entertain. Look at your options, if you can’t stand your job, what are your options to expanding avenues to employment? In life we are only limited to what we tell ourselves we are limited to. It’s ok to be temporarily stuck but there are always way to grow and work towards the life you want. With mindfulness, adequate self care and determination there isn’t a single thing we cannot accomplish.

 

-Always be unapologetically yourself

Ali