Tag Archives: enjoy

Learn By Watching Our Kids

Sometimes we learn the most by watching our kids.. in the craziness of this pandemic, I have 3 kids that are just living life as kids.  

The amount of schoolwork that I should be doing with my 3 kids is overwhelming.  I get daily emails from all their teachers along with all their  special assignments.  I’m addition, I’m working from home. There is no way I could keep up with all that is sent home.  My situation is like millions of others.. 

I know I wrote before about how I tried to do it all in the beginning couple weeks of distance learning… completely unrealistic for anyone that’s trying to have 3 kids at home and work full time.  So then we figured out a plan and we started just doing what was required. And this works for us.  And instead my kids just spend time being kids.  The activities that my kids are creating on their own is definitely rewarding for them.

 I do not organize a lot of “ organized “ fun. I don’t make them play games or have something planned every minute of the day. We don’t do a million pinterest crafts that I would ended up being more frustrated with than when I started.  I don’t make them play math games with their vegetables and fruits.  All of those things are great, but they always add extra stress that I can handle right now.  And I have learned the spontaneous activities usually turn out to be the best for us. 

Instead they figure out of their own what they spend their day doing.. some days they might hang out in their rooms more and other days they are making homemade chocolate cake at 9 am.  My daughter’s have found crafts and painting supplies and ordered them off amazon by themselves.  

So I think what I have realized is how independent my kids are these days… They do their schoolwork and chores and then the rest of the day is their’s to do what they want.  They make their own lunch most days. Even my 9 year old has learned to make his own ramen noodles. 

I walked outside last week and each kid was doing their own thing activity.   Amber ( my oldest) was bleaching designs on her sweatpants, Claire ( my

Middle) was making a wooden hamster cage, and nolan ( my youngest) was sanding sticks with the electric sander.  Each kid was just happy doing what they wanted.  

Even though we are all together all the time… 24 hours a day.. We really don’t spend that much time together.  We come together for a dinner, a movie night, a game through the week.. but otherwise I let my kids use their own creativity and make a lot of their own decisions.  

I’ve noticed so much the last few weeks that I haven’t seen in such a long time.  They are finding new things to do and they are actually hanging out together.  It’s almost strange at times.  They haven’t complained about not going places or running constantly.  They haven’t even asked to go to target, probably knowing the answer would be no right now.  

I know this time has been really hard on me. I miss my friends and my co workers.  I’m trying to navigate each day the best that I can.  But then I see how my kids are coping and they seem happy and content.  With all the craziness in the world right now, these kids are just enjoying being kids.  

-snarky 

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/blog

What Are Your Hobbies?

What are your hobbies?  I have hated that question since I was in school.  I have no hobbies…How do you start doing things you for you?

Last Spring, I decided that I needed to do something for myself. I needed to start getting back into things.. And by things I mean, hobbies, activities, or something that I loved.  I was married for over 13 years, you have kids, and then you stop doing things that you love.   I think we all experience that part of life even with being divorced or not. Having kids is great, but you have to give up many things in the process. I stayed home with my children for many years, so over time I forgot the things that I loved. Or I would feel guilty for wanting to do them.. Yes, the mom guilt.

I love music.. I love concerts…I love working out.. I love golf.  I started to think about all the things that I had really enjoyed in life and had not enjoyed in so long.  It had been years since I had done a lot for myself.  Or even put myself first.

I had golfed after college and even did my internship at a golf resort, but after having kids I had not done it in years. I had missed it.  Being outside with friends and a few drinks in the summer felt so heavenly.   I knew a friend that was in a women’s golf league and so I decided to join. I did not have a partner and I only knew a few people in the league, this was way out of my comfort league.  I usually gravitate towards smaller groups and people that I know.  I was scared to death… what if my partner was a golf pro, what if she wasn’t fun, what if she didn’t sneak drinks on the course… All these things were going through my head.  I like to know what to expect and this was all new…I am a woman in her 40’s that is freaking out about meeting new people.  Yep, just like high school it never changes.

Well I did it, I joined the league and somehow I got placed with a partner that was just recently divorced with kids.  All of my fears were put aside the moment I meant her.. I mean she suck “truly’s into her golf bag.  A girl after my own heart!  We really suck at playing golf, but we have so much fun. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason and this was it.   I mean sometimes its pretty much dark before we get off the course..haha.  We golfed each week and could talk about our divorce, frustrations, dating, etc.. we became great friends.  I can not tell you how great it felt to do something again that I am doing for myself and that I love.

Every Tuesday from May through September I golf in a women’s league.  This is what I do for myself. Yes, I do golf league even when I have my kids. I am not a bad mom for not spending every moment with my kids and I have learned that you do need to put yourself first at times.

It just think its important to start doing things, activities,  hobbies, etc. for yourself.  Find the one that you love or might learn to love.. And do it.  You might have to start from scratch and find something you enjoy..might be something completely different than the old you. Lets face it, you are different.

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/

Welcome Spring

Welcoming Spring…we think rain, rain go away come again another day. It has been raining a lot lately, here in the Boston area. I remember when my son was little, he would beg me to let him go outside to play when it was raining. He would stand under the gutter spout and let it pour down on him. He would run around the yard in circles, with arms flailing, until he got so dizzy, he would fall. Laughing the whole time. Ah to be a kid again.

This thought has me stop. Right now. To put it on my to-do list “next time it’s raining…go outside, play like a little kid and bask in the glory of the rain”.

I sit here this morning watching the birds at the bird feeder, looking at the beautiful flowers popping up everywhere and I am overwhelmed with joy. If not for the rain…. We are blessed by the rain in so many ways.

Spring…with all the rain and the beautiful sunshine. It is a time of beginning, renewing, awakening. All that was asleep for the whole winter…. is now coming out to play. All that was quiet and inside and hunkered down is now up and at ‘em….living large.

The flowers, butterflies, bees, & dragonflies. The children with bicycles and roller blades and laughter. The gardening, lawn mowing and car washing. Things come to life in the spring.

Take the spring with all it’s beauty and treat yourself with love. As you awaken from a closed in state of mind, a shut out attitude, a tiredness you couldn’t seem to shake or a wonderful quiet and relaxing winter Welcome spring into your home, into your heart, into your life.

Let it rain.

 

Your God GIrl,

Tracy

Single Mom’s Mother’s Day

What do you think of when you hear “Mother’s Day”? Mom sleeping in, breakfast in bed or brunch at her favorite restaurant, a day of being pampered and spoiled? That’s what I think of …… but I’m learning that I need to stop having expectations and just embrace what is in front of me.

Last year, I most likely had that opening vision for my Mother’s Day. Instead, my youngest daughter woke me up at 6:00 in the morning and asked me what we were having for breakfast. Good question…. We didn’t really have anything at home because I normally go grocery shopping on Sunday mornings. After waiting a little while, I realized that I needed to get out of bed and get dressed and make my way to the store. I drove to the store to pick up some breakfast items. While I was checking out, I noticed that most of the people in the store at that early hour were dads and their kids buying last-minute cards and gifts for the moms in their lives. Let me just tell you that I was more than a little irritated and depressed that I, the mom, was at the store buying items for our Mother’s Day breakfast. On the way home, I decided to treat myself with a Starbucks coffee to go.  When I got home, my kids could sense my irritation, so they told me to go to my room, shut the door and relax. The girls decided to bring me breakfast in bed and we ended up having a fun day. Our friends called and asked if we wanted to join them for lunch and a hike, which we did, and the girls gave me presents that they made/bought with their dad.

I admit that I feel bad for getting irritated and feeling sorry for myself; it probably sounds really selfish. But, it taught me that I need to learn to not have expectations about holidays/events, because I tend to get disappointed. As a single mom, it’s not realistic to think that I can have an entire day of doing nothing. But I can learn to embrace what is and enjoy things as they come, rather than trying to make events live up to some fantasy that I’ve created in my head or seen on TV.

If I could take this lesson and apply it to all areas of my life, I would probably be a much happier person. So, for this Mother’s Day, I am going to challenge myself to let my expectations go and just enjoy the weekend with my girls. One of the things I love as a mom is to watch my girls do the things that they enjoy, so I’m going to remember this as I watch my oldest play in a tennis tournament and as I watch my youngest play in her soccer game and attend a friend’s birthday party. They don’t stay this age long, so I have to enjoy it while I can.

Being a mom is a tough job and being a single mom is tougher than I could have imagined, but I love my girls so much and could not imagine life without them. I remember when they were babies and there were times when I would look at them and cry because I loved them so much. And, just last week, after my oldest daughter had a disappointment, I couldn’t help but cry because I know how hard she works and hate to see her suffer. Or the pride I feel when I see them accomplish something amazing. Or hearing my youngest daughter tell her sister, “Good morning beautiful” when she sees her in the morning. Every day as a mom brings something new and sometimes it’s an emotional roller coaster and every year seems to go faster than the last one …. but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

So, here’s hoping that I can let go of what I think Mother’s Day should be and just enjoy it for what it is this year. And, here’s to all the moms out there – I hope you enjoy your day, however you decide to celebrate.

~Laxmi~

Embrace It Because Time Really Does Fly

Embrace time because it really does fly by…which leads me to what I feel today.  I get those notifications every day from Facebook that are pictures of what I posted “_ years ago today”. I sometimes take the time to look at them, most times not. Today I did-it was pictures of our youngest child…she would’ve been 3. My very last baby. I stayed home with her for the first 5 years of her life-I feel like I have this huge bond with her knowing that she was going to be my last of everything….last 1st bath, last 1st haircut, last kindergarten graduation…ect….it makes me sad but yet also excited for her!

As time flew by with the older two, it’s happening just as fast if not faster with her. Maybe it just seems that way because it’s so bittersweet. I often find myself thinking about all the things and opportunities I have missed with my kids-sometimes I get so caught up in that, I fail to focus on what we have done and just how often we really are together.

Maybe as we age-mortality becomes more of a reality, it did to me anyway. Realizing time doesn’t stop or slow down for anyone!

There truly is never enough time, some days seem like they’re never going to end and only wish for them to! If I knew now what I knew when I was wishing time away, I wouldn’t make that mistake again. Every moment in time is there for a reason. Embrace, learn, experience!

 

Love to all-

Kim