Tag Archives: encouragement

An Encouraging Word

Never underestimate the value of an encouraging word.

The simple act of encouragement is so often taken for granted.  So many of us want to believe that we encourage our family, our friends, our co-workers and our general fellow man.  Sadly, though, many of us fall short.

Think about your everyday conversations.  Do you listen and smile casually, leaving yourself with the impression that you’ve participated in the conversation in an encouraging manner, when you haven’t really offered any encouragement at all?

Have you asked questions about the potential negative outcomes of a friend’s excited effort under the guise of “helping them think it through”, unknowingly (and, in all fairness, most likely unintentionally) crushing their excitement instead of offering encouragement?  Or, have you in fact shared an encouraging word commending someone for a job well done or offering them a word that says “I know you’ll succeed in this venture”?

Many of us listen to and participate in conversations and, when we leave said conversation, truly believe we have been an encouragement to the other party / parties involved in the conversation.  However, if we take a hard, honest and objective look at these same conversations, we will find that we haven’t really been of any encouragement at all.  Sometimes, we have in fact been the opposite or completely neutral.

At various points in my life, I have been blessed to have some genuinely encouraging people in my circles.  I would venture to say that they have been quite scattered, but present nonetheless, and the difference it has made in my life is absolutely priceless.  Several years back, I went through a dark period that left me very unhappy and in possession of very little self-confidence.  Having people in my life then that were constantly encouraging me was such a blessing.  It’s not that they were necessarily going out of their way to come up with extra things to say in each shared conversation, but these people truly made a habit of being encouraging to the point that it was simply a part of who they are.  Having this kind of people in my life has really broadened my appreciation for words of encouragement.  I find myself being more encouraging to others as well, which is just a happy little side effect.

You never know how big an effect the smallest words can have on someone’s day, someone’s week or even someone’s life.

Take a moment to really think about your everyday conversations and see where you may have room to work some encouragement into your own daily life.  I guarantee you the benefits will be reaped by not only those you encourage, but by you as well.

~Tanya

You can follow me at sunshineandbluemoon.blogspot.com and, as always, make it a great day!

 

A Letter To The Future Me

Dear Future Me,

No matter how much you think you want what your friends have. Stay focused on what you are working for.  Don’t worry one day you will have what they have and so much more.

Stay focused.

Take those steps.

Stop making excuses.

Stop wishing.

Go for it.

One day you’ll have that white picket fence family picture. But right now, you are working on YOUR goals. Your goals to make your life meaningful. Not only for yourself but for your family. Who says you need to have a man right now to have the white picket fence picture? No one. You can do it regardless of your relationship status.

Stop focusing on everyone else’s happy family moments and create your own. Stop wondering and wishing. Remember what you want to do and take those steps. Stop day dreaming unless you plan on taking actions to make it come true. Stop pretending everything is ok. And make it great-not just ok- but great!

You got this.

Make a plan.

Make goals.

And start striving towards them.

You are more than you think you are! You’re still young. You got this! Stop second guessing yourself and do something! Make memories. Not only with your child(ren) but take time and do something you want.

You only live one life. Let’s make it worth it. Pain comes and goes. Let’s move forward and make this life worth living.

Let’s make yourself proud. Let’s make your child(ren) proud. And let’s make people feel like “damn she’s really doing well.” Day by day we will smile and make it a great day. Bad days come and go but being happy can be an everyday thing. Let go of the things that don’t mean anything. Just keep moving forward. We got this.

Remember you can do anything you set your mind too. You can be as happy as any of your friends. You can have it all. You just have to work for it. Stop making those excuses and roll with it.

Go out.

Be adventurous.

Have stories to tell.

Stop being so scared of life and go live it!

Now go!

~Shelly

Negativity Does Not Serve The Future

LOL…maybe we should be calling this the bi-weekly discussion…I have got to do better with this posting new content…so much negativity out there right now, seems like a good time to talk about serving the future…so here we go…

Gurdjieff ([1877-1949], priest, physician, teacher, author of ‘Meetings With Remarkable Men’) tells us that to live in a truly creative and dynamic way; we would have to think in a completely new way.  He encourages that to be completely fulfilled, we must engage in our own conscious evolution. In his work he also speaks about conscious labor and intentional suffering and about the importance of undertaking the burden of responsibility for serving the future…

Gurdjieff’s student J.G. Bennett “…adopted as a major theme of his life and work the teaching known as “The Fourth Way”. This is very simply that in the face of a threat, whether environmental disaster, war and conquest, or economic collapse, those persons who are able to do so must accept the responsibility of guiding and supporting the less resourceful, but not through the conventional institutions of government or religion, but rather on the level of new ideas and attitudes, inspiration and spiritual regeneration. As many Sufi teachers have done, he hinted at a world of experience in which the laws are quite other than those governing the material world – in some cases, the reverse. Those who are able to decipher this riddle must inevitably dedicate themselves to serving humanity, and the future of our world.” (www.jgbennett.net)

Those of us that understand that there is far more to life than what we can physically “see”, understand also that we have a responsibility to encourage other people not to be limited by their own thinking.  I speak often of the fact that you should never, ever judge or evaluate a situation by the way that it looks in any given moment—you should only ever operate from your intention about what the outcome will be.  So many people are stopped in their tracks because they think that the obstacles they encounter are “real”…they fail to understand that what makes obstacles “real” is believing that they exist.  There are people that are never stopped, people that never quit…if one way gets blocked up they find another…these are the people that succeed and know how to live ‘outside the box’…these are the kind of people you want to know.

I mostly live in a conversation called ‘what’s next…what else needs doing’, the past few weeks I have been living in a question called, “What is your Legacy?”

It is interesting that when you begin to engage in this discussion your life and what you have done or not done shows up in a whole different light…complaints and grievances don’t hold much water in the Legacy conversation…25 years after you’re dead nobody is going to care that your back hurt or you had a cold or a headache or that you were too tired to do the laundry.   Some people have told me that their children are their legacy and that is certainly true for all of us that are parents, however, for me that isn’t enough.

I want to leave something that breathes on long after I checked out…something that is dedicated to making people’s lives better, something that educates people and teaches them how to succeed…something that helps those that need helping… something that makes a difference…

My life will change from living in the question, “What is your Legacy?”…do me a favor and take a moment to answer that question for yourself…honestly.  How are you giving back, who are you helping, and what are you serving besides yourself?  How do you serve the future?

I have a theory that if people lived in these questions life would take on a whole new meaning…if people lived for a purpose bigger than themselves the small annoyances they suffer would become much less significant.

Certainly not the average conversation, but average conversations never create much growth or much action—they also don’t cause you to think much.  I leave you with my favorite quote by George Bernard Shaw:

This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

 

George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, Epistle Dedicatory