Tag Archives: empower

A Lesson In Leadership (again)

We were talking about leadership on last Saturday morning’s Coffee Chat Show and I was reminding you all that everyone is a leader in SOME way in their lives.  As parents we are certainly leaders for our children.  Below is one of my pieces on Leadership that was included in a book, it is one of my favorites and I wanted to share it with you again:

Often people think of ‘Leadership’ as something that comes with privilege, they assume that once a person serves in a leadership capacity, they enjoy a ‘charmed’ life.  They forget that REAL leadership is ‘power WITH’ not ‘power over’.  

When a calling has been placed on your life to lead, life itself sets out to equip you for it.  This usually involves challenges and circumstances that will bring you to your knees.   When you are in God’s leadership training you don’t get a manual or a letter in the mail, no email comes and no instruction booklet is available. Life just starts to kick the crap out of you, challenges materialize from all over and you can be sure they will include betrayal and disappointment.  

Many people ‘want’ to be leaders; they envision that being a leader is important, filled with glory and has a lot of perks…perhaps they even think that being a leader is where the ‘money’ is.  The truth?  Being a leader, is in fact, more difficult than any other task. Being a good or great leader?  That requires more work than most people can even fathom.

In order to lead you must be able to follow…happily and humbly.  You must be able to take direction and work within someone else’s framework even if you think you could do it better. If you can’t follow someone else then NOBODY will ever follow you, no matter how amazing you perceive yourself to be.  This is an important skill to understand, the act of following happily and humbly.  I promise you that every great leader began by following someone else first.

To lead successfully you lead by example, you first do the task that you wish to entrust to someone else.  You need to have executed that task with excellence to understand what it feels like to complete that particular thing successfully.  If you want to direct people then you have to be coming from a place that includes already doing that work, otherwise people will ignore your requests and resent you.  If you think you are too good to clean windows or toilets or empty trash, yet you imagine that someone ‘beneath’ you should do those things, then you are not leadership material.  Any attitude of ‘entitlement’ has no place in leadership.

I don’t care who you are or who you think you are—nobody is beneath you and you are not better than anyone else on the planet.  You may be different and you may have more advanced skills and you may make more money, however you are not ‘better’ than any other human being.  God created all of us equal and to be a great leader you will do well to remember this and to treat people accordingly.

Real leaders want to build people up and help them get to the next level in their lives; leaders know that their job is to leave everything better than they found it.  They make it their business to INSPIRE other people and contribute to them.  Leaders speak about possibility and they refrain from criticism and sarcasm.

There are so many people trying to succeed and lead and they keep forgetting the source of true leadership which is to lead by example.  You first must FOLLOW the disciplines that you wish to teach, you must walk the walk and succeed there before anyone will listen to you.  Sure, you can lead without doing this and whatever you are trying to do will fall apart, eventually it will collapse on top of you and you won’t prosper to your full ability.

You can’t sleep late, live like a slob, be rude, and treat people poorly, lack self-discipline and then get dressed up in a suit and go tell people how to be a success.  People may look like they are listening, yet you will lack the authenticity needed to produce results.  You can put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig.  

Gandhi said “be the change in the world that you want to see”.  Sometimes leaders think that they are an exception to this…

Be authentic, don’t try to teach what you haven’t learned.

 

See you Saturday for Coffee Chat at 8:30am EST.

XO, N.

Letting It Go

Letting It Go! I’m taking a lesson from my favorite empowered lady, Elsa. It’s been 7 years and I’m taking my power back. Somehow after I had been divorced, he still found ways to maintain forms on control. In all different ways, refusing to answer me on co-parenting questions, deciding to pay child support not on the due date but whenever he felt like he wanted to, without communicating to me when that would be just stating “You shouldn’t rely on my money”. It didn’t matter how kind I was…. how nicely I worded things. I had to become a bendy straw having to completely bend over backwards to still being treated like disposable trash.

I’m done.

I’m done being hurt.

I’m done bending.

I’m done not being heard.

I’m done not being valued.

I’m done being emotionally manipulated.

I’m done being told what I can and can’t do.

I’m done letting someone who does and means nothing to me control my head space.

I’m done opening myself up to be hoping he will change, to be disappointed constantly.

I’m done hoping he will be more for his children.

I’m done letting him dictate my emotions.

I’m done.

I’m Letting it go.

Letting go of the guilt of how I wanted my children to grow up in their home with their mama every day.

Letting go of how I will never be able to control, help and support his household for my children.

Letting go of the hurt.

Letting go of the constant disappointment.

Letting go of it all.

Now I will embrace the time the kids and I have being thankful for all the memories we have, not the time we don’t have together.

I will value each phone call to the fullest.

I will savor the moments that my house is loud, chaotic, messy and intense, because soon enough they will be at their dads.

I will embrace the nights where they take 5 trips down the stairs refusing to go to bed due to their unquenchable thirst that only began at bed time.

I will cherish the snot filled, or sweaty stinky hugs and kisses.

I will not rush the extra bedtime story.

I will watch attentively as they want to show me their latest creations.

I will be there Mama still 7 days a week, 365 days a year, no matter what, no matter where they go my love will always find them, and nobody can ever change that.

I will never have any bigger accomplishment in live than being their Mama, and having their love.

Stay Positive and Be Kind,

Rah Rah Rachel

Why You Should Solo Travel

Every time I mention to people that I habitually travel alone I get many interesting reactions. The most common one is how they look at me in pity. Poor me, I must have no one to travel with, how can I possibly have fun alone, and of course the meaningless next time you go somewhere Ill see if I can come with you. 


None of this could be further from the truth (well some of it is true ?). In all honesty I have gone on girl trips, family trips, and trips with significant others, and truth be told, my solo trips have been the best so far.

These are some of the top reasons why every one woman should give traveling alone a shot:

*You are in control of your whole itinerary.

Call me selfish but when I travel, especially to a location that I have never been, I want to do everything I’ve always dreamed of doing there. In my experience when one travels with other people, some compromises have to be made, unless you are traveling with your spirit animal who likes exactly everything you like. There are also budget constraints to consider, when I travel I want to enjoy to the max and budget for that. Other people may not have the same budget and you may end up not doing everything you had in mind.

*You can meet new interesting people.

A couple of year ago I went to London alone. I went to a pub and met some locals that showed me some hot spots that I wouldn’t have known about. If I had been with family, significant other, or friends that are not as outgoing like me, that would have never happened.

*You can spend some time with yourself

When I travel alone, I like to watch people, have a nice meal, a drink and soak in the environment. I recently went to Vegas with some friends and they spent lots of time walking and taking an obscene number of pictures at each hotel. I love my friends dearly, but I was thrilled to find out that they had an early flight on the last day. This last day was “my day”. I learned how to play craps, had my cocktails, and soaked in the environment and people watched.

Im honestly not saying that you should never travel with anyone again, I think everything has its place. What I am telling you is that  you should give traveling alone a shot, it is the most empowering experience you’ll ever have and it is not the pity party everyone thinks it is.

See you in the trenches,

Mythologywoman

Empower Each Other is Empowering

“Empowered Women, Empower Women.”

One of my favorite lines….for myself, friends, my daughters.

em·pow·er
verb
give (someone) the authority or power to do something
make someone stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their rights
All too often I see women tearing each other down, their looks, their choices, their jobs, their children,  things they can’t control. I wonder why? If we don’t have each other to look up to, to hold us accountable and to appreciate all our faults and all our positives, who do we have? No one can relate to your individual story but all women can relate to each other in one way or another!
I do believe that we empower each other, I also believe that we can do a better job of empowering each other and ourselves, myself included. It’s just as important if not more important to empower yourself FIRST. I have never once in my life thought I couldn’t do something or be that something. And I choose to tell everyone I have in my life the same thing. I want my daughters to know that with enough work and dedication you can be anything you want, as can anyone, ANYONE! Everyone faces road blocks throughout their lives to certain degrees, but that’s just a “bump” in the road. It’s certainly not an end all.
Empower each other, encourage each other, love each other, respect each other!
Love to All-Kim

Being Powerful In Your Life

Yesterday we talked about being authentic by owning your truth and I said that your real power lies in that, in the taking responsibility for whom and what you are.  The next step to being powerful in your life is learning to stand in the middle of whatever seems to be happening and keep your joy and your cool.  I have been studying success and prosperity principles since I was 12 years old, I have been to every seminar and workshop you can imagine and am probably one of the most self-aware and well-trained people you will ever meet and YET I still have days where circumstances appear and try to stop me cold.  The last few days have been like that, things have appeared that have made me want to worry, panic, give in to fear-based thought, pull-in, withdraw…take your pick of any response that is reactive and that is where I have been the last few days.  The ticket out of that crap is to STAY FOCUSED ON YOUR INTENTION FOR THE OUTCOME—DO NOT under ANY circumstances judge anything by the way it looks in the moment—EVER!

ALL your power comes from being able to stay with your intended outcome and not buy into what ‘seems’ to be happening around you in the moment, these ‘seeming’ setbacks or unwelcome things are merely testing you.  Will you crumble at the first sign of adversity??? Or will you DRAW A LINE in the sand and REFUSE to be moved???

When life is throwing you stuff that seems unwelcome or unsettling it is simply a test of your strength and resolve, a test to see if you can be shaken off your position, swayed from your intended outcome because if you can be pushed off that easily then you are not worthy to have what you are wanting.  You have to be willing to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to get what you want in life, most people run away weeping at the first sign of things not turning out the way they want.

Seeming adversity is merely being used as a sharpening tool—life wants to see if you can stand the heat, if you can stand strong through the storm and remain joyful in the process.  It’s time to draw a line in the sand and refuse to be moved.  It’s time to create the life that you want!  xoxo