Tag Archives: doubt

Stop Talking To Yourself

Stop talking to yourself….

My mind, like yours, is going nonstop 24 hours a day seven days a week. That’s why meditation is so valuable and so difficult. We are always talking to ourselves about one thing or another, and a lot of those things we’re saying aren’t very helpful. Our tendency is to be quite critical of ourselves. We wouldn’t talk that way to a small child because we know it would be cruel, but that doesn’t stop us from talking to ourselves that way. When we’re not criticizing ourselves, we are imagining outcomes that we don’t want. 

In Dale Carnegie’s book How To Stop Worrying And Start Living he reminds us that 95% of the things we worry about never happen. Yet our imagination actually creates them in our mind as being true. Napoleon hill, as a well as many other self-help and metaphysical authors, say some form of ”we become what we think about all day long”. We actually bring into existence what we think about.

When I first heard of this many years ago I actually did an experiment. Whenever I couldn’t remember I would always say just that, I can’t remember. So, instead I would say to myself and out loud “I’ll think of it in just a minute”, or “it will come to me”. You know what? Almost every time I would remember. For me that was dramatic proof, so I started doing it more often in all different situations. Instead of jumping to “I can’t do it” I would say ”I can do this”. 

Simple affirmations, like my wife’s favorite “I know what to do and I do it”, has gotten many people through many hard times. When you think about it, we can think anything we want at any time. My wife had an analogy that I really like. She said “it’s like when you’re staying in a hotel and the maid comes by and knocks on the door and wants to come in, change the beds and clean the room, we can simply tell her not now and send her on her way down the hall. But instead, we let her in and make her tea and crumpets.” 

When we have thoughts that are not productive, we can simply send them down the hall and replace them with thoughts that are productive. We are the ones that are in charge.

I know that unless we master meditation, we will continue to have a mind that is constantly going. We will always be talking to ourselves, but we can stop talking to ourselves…..that way.

 

~Steve

Taking The Leap-Making The Hard Decisions

I have such a hard time making the hard decisions…things like..Is it a jean or legging kind of day… or do I have nachos or ice cream are easy to make… but a life changing decision…not so much. 

I have realized that I am an over thinker.  I have to think everything through over and over… and most of the time I am looking for a sign to just tell me what to do.  It never seems to happen… And then I over analyze it over and over again.  But once I make that decision, I know.  And by the time I actually tell someone, I am 100% behind my decision.  And then there is no turning back.  

The last couple of weeks I have had to make a hard decision that would change my life in many ways.  I had to decide if I was ready to leave my current job.  And it was not just my job, but I would be starting a new career in a new industry.  And I have worked in my current industry for about 26 years…Yikes!!  

But I have known for awhile now that this is not where I want to be.. I have many working years left in my life.  And I want to feel that passion again in what I do.  

I had started to make it a priority in the last year.  I spent time devoted to researching different careers that were easily transferrable.  I spent time updating my resume to fit into a new role.  I researched different job titles and qualifications that I wanted and what I needed to get a job in that industry.  And I spent 3 months doing volunteer training so I would gain some knowledge of the actual industry.  

And I spent time doing deep soul searching on what I really wanted to do.  I had to think about what really makes me feel good and what I wanted from a career.   What was important to me…And I spent time praying and writing down what was important.  Having lots of faith that I would actually figure it all out.  Plus I have so many years left to work.. 

And then it happened… but then I had to decide if I was ready to make the leap…  All I could think about for the last few months, was starting something new… and now it was almost here in front of me…But then reality sinks in and I started to doubt myself… and wonder how it would all work out.  It’s amazing how fast the doubts get into your head and take over.  

Was I ready for this change? Or should I just stay where I was?  Would my kids be ready for a new schedule? I had been working from home for almost a year, would they adapt to my new schedule? Would I be able to work it out with my ex husband? Would the money be enough? And benefits? And vacation?  All those questions kept popping in my head…over and over again…

But I had to stop… stop doubting myself.  And not overthink everything.  I had to go with what I felt and what I had worked hard for over the last year.  I had to stop over analyzing all of the “what if’s”.

I needed to feel like I was accomplishing something again in my career. I needed to feel like I had a purpose in my job.  I had lost that over the last couple years and it was just a job.  This was important to me. I wanted to start something new and take that chance.  If it didn’t work out, then so be it.  But I knew that I needed to try something new.  Take the leap…

I know it will be an adjustment for us all.  My kids are used to me being around a lot and they will now need to be more independent.  They are really used to me being able to drive them everywhere.  They would have to help me with more.  I will probably ask more from them.  

And then when I told my kids, it seemed like it was no big deal to them. They were like, “sure mom we can help you.  Now them saying it and them doing it is actually two different things…That’s the funny thing about kids.. The things we worry about as parents, sometimes doesn’t even worry them…but just hearing them say that , makes it feel so much better.  

But I also know that this is just an adjustment period…it’s the scary unknown period that we will get through together.  We would get through this together…

 

-Snarky 

www.snarkydivorcedgal.com