Tag Archives: difficult

What Makes Your Identity..You?

The term “identity” has become our most recent topic of discussion at school. What shapes your identity? What makes you, you?

Of course, when I started thinking about it, I thought this is one heck of a topic question to pose to teens who are just starting their high school years. Once you start growing up and meeting new people, you begin to question who you truly are as a person.

How you would introduce yourself to others.

What do you like?

What do you dislike?

Do you consider yourself an introvert or extrovert?

What makes you… well YOU?

Although it seems like a simple concept, this whole “identity” thing is pretty hard to figure out.

It’s especially hard for us teens when we want to be liked and welcomed by other people. Sometimes we struggle when it comes to being true to ourselves because we don’t know how others are going to perceive it. Take me for example; I am a young girl who has grown up in the U.S., but comes from a family of very proud “Latinos”. Thankfully I live in an area with lots of kids like me, but others aren’t as fortunate. I know that there are kids who don’t feel like they could fit in with the pure “Latin” crowd, but they also don’t really fit in with the “all-American” crowd. This idea of fitting in is something I guess we will all encounter throughout our life.

We are defined not just by our cultures but also our likes and dislikes. Incredibly, sometimes we’re even defined by those around us. Think about those movie cliches where the football player has a secret passion for theater, but he feels as though he doesn’t fit in either group. It might seem cheesy, but incidents like those occur all the time.

Finding out your identity can definitely be a difficult task, but once you start figuring it out, you gotta be proud of what makes you… well YOU!

-Dani

Warrior Training

Warrior Training

When did my skin get so damn OLD looking??? These are the things that I am thinking as I look at last night’s video…51 that is how old I will be in about a month, 51 years on the planet with an 18 year old son.

18 years…where the hell did that GO??? 18 years of being a working single mom, 18 years of being solely responsible for every freaking thing—- how the hell did I even DO that???? Yet, here I sit…out the other side and in fact, I did do it and I did a pretty good job. The kid turned out pretty exceptional even in the face of my many shortcomings…

So what have I learned and what wisdom can I impart to help you through whatever stage of this adventure you are in?

Here we go…

*STOP worrying so much, it isn’t helping anything. All it does is make you crazy and honest to God shit DOES work out. We hardly ever can see how, yet it does and you simply HAVE TO TRUST THAT IT WILL.

*Be honest with your kids, let them see you be REAL…acting like you are OK when you are NOT OK just screws them up because they can FEEL that you aren’t right and you are usually all they have—-so let them see the warrior that you are, let them see that you can be afraid and do it anyway…let them see that you can not feel well and do it anyway…let them see what it is like to overcome things—it is only going to make them stronger, better adults.

*Kids KNOW, whatever it is that you think you are hiding from them, they already know—-so just be honest. Life is hard and we prevail, show them that—don’t make them think that there won’t be challenges—-show them what it is like to be real.

*Take care of yourself, if you go down there is no one to cover for you—-your health and your well-being are a PRIORITY. PERIOD.

*KNOW YOUR WORTH —- I can’t say this one enough…I made so many mis-steps over the years because I didn’t understand my worth…don’t do that. Don’t settle, don’t ‘put up with shit’— know your worth.

*The kids are gonna be OK, they are going to make it. As long as you are doing your best and you are being authentic then they are going to be just fine…stop worrying.

*We are not perfect, we are not meant to be perfect—- we screw shit up, it’s human nature—- just keep doing the best you can.

*Don’t let fear stop you, have the fear and do it anyway—that’s all there is—just keep going, doing the next thing in front of you.

*Help as MANY people as possible, always.

*Give back everywhere you can, be generous of Spirit—everyone is fighting their own battles that we know nothing about—be kind.

*Take the high road, it isn’t crowded up there and don’t sweat it, karma never loses an address—let the Universe handle the people that were less than kind to you, you have better things to do.

*Always keep learning, reading, pushing yourself—-as I said before don’t settle—-keep pushing yourself, it’s how you grow.

*Talk to your kids, listen to them—-don’t be so busy trying to survive that you forget to LIVE.

*Have GRACE for yourself and others—not everything has to be perfect all the time—cut yourself some slack…I am telling you it all works out at the end of the story…

*Acknowledge the small miracles and have gratitude for how far you have come, we often are so busy just trying to get through the day that we forget to give thanks for the progress—there is always something to be grateful for.

It’s funny to be sitting in this place 18 plus years later, looking back on raising this boy on my own. At the beginning it seemed insurmountable, in the middle it was the hardest thing I have ever done, at the end it was the BEST training that I have ever had. I can produce results that nobody else can, I don’t let anything stop me, I don’t make excuses and my mantra has become “whatever it takes”—- I don’t accept ‘impossible’ as a descriptor and I KNOW from walking through FIRE and HELL that you can and you WILL get through whatever you are facing.

You know me, I am always straight with you guys and this was the hardest thing that I have ever done, raising this child with no child support and being the sole source of everything that he required for 18 years plus:). However, it taught me skills and strengths that I would never have learned any other way and it built me into a warrior that now helps other people——that part is my greatest blessing. Let my testimony become your inspiration—- if I could get out the other side successfully so will you…

Here’s to my approaching 51st birthday…let’s see what God has planned, it’s bound to be an adventure and you guys will be along for the ride.

Much Love,

Noelle

A Time For Me To Believe In Myself

A time for me…

At the newly age of fifty and fabulous (which is a story all in itself) with one kid on his own, and my youngest soon to be a Senior in High School, I unexpectedly find myself unemployed, yet unnerved for the first time, which is both soothing and strange for me.

Being a single mother, twenty four years and counting, I have never been afforded the same luxuries in life as some women, by either given the choice to walk away from an underpaid or overworked job in search of a better one, or the really far fetched dream of staying at home!

Is it though, that far fetched? That I could stay at home, doing what I love, and still support my family?! Perhaps not. Perhaps this is a time for me. A time to get my shit together, a time to face my fears, and a time to just jump in, hold my breath (if I have to), and believe, believe in me!

Believing is the difficult part of the equation that most people, especially women, struggle with. The feeling of being unworthy, believing you deserve such a far fetched life seems almost ridiculous from everything we’ve ever been taught as young girls. But is it?

I am blessed to have a mother, who taught me through her own strength and wisdom, to always believe in myself, in my own strength. That people (mainly men) come and go, so plant your own roots, water your own garden and never settle for anything that doesn’t make your heart skip a beat.

I haven’t always listened to my mother, as I stumbled along my own path of poor choices, and settled a time or two along the way, whether in the arms of the wrong man or working on someone else’s dream instead of my own.

So yes, this is a time for me!
A time to remember.
A time to dream.
A time to ask, believe, & receive because I am worthy!

Chase that crazy dream girl, spread your wings, believe in yourself and fly! This is your time! A time for me to take pen to paper and write, my story. A story I do believe will inspire others to take the time for you, to chase your own (crazy) dreams and fly!!

With Light & Love,
Angel A

How Bad Do You Want It?

Look at your life and pinpoint for yourself some things that you really, really want.  Got them?  Good.  Now tell me how bad do you want them?  Do you want them bad enough to change everything about yourself that stands in the way of you getting them?  Do you want them bad enough to give up your behaviors that don’t work?  Do you want them bad enough to not give up until you get them?

Most people will probably tell you that they want certain things, however,  I would bet that they are not willing to do WHATEVER it takes to get them and that is why they still do not possess the things that they want.  I would also bet that most people don’t even fully understand the concept called ‘whatever it takes’—most people quit at the first sign of difficulty.  There are some people however that don’t quit…the Navy Seals don’t quit and truly self aware people don’t quit either because they know that quitting only perpetuates the circumstances in their lives that they don’t like.

Let’s talk about where most people lose it along the trail of getting what you want…you start out with a business or a goal or a relationship and everything looks kind of groovy at the beginning.  Then we move along in time and obstacles start to appear…the business doesn’t seem like such a good idea, the new relationship looks like a piece of shit, the goal you set out to accomplish looks WAY TOO HARD.  So you start to buy into that you didn’t want it anyway, you start to think of other things that you can do that would be “easier” —we call this the “grass is greener” syndrome—news flash—the grass is NEVER greener somewhere else…smarten up and learn to cultivate your own grass to make it the green that you want it to be—another news flash—this is HARD WORK…it requires commitment, discipline, purposefulness and doing what you said– NO MATTER WHAT.  If you want to win and get the things you want in life then you must go to war with all the things about yourself that don’t work.

Going to war with yourself means that you set out to prevail no matter what.  This means that you must give up paying attention to your ailments, grievances and complaints.  This means that you must only look at what you want… keep focused on the goal, the intention and let go of ANYTHING that is counterproductive to forward motion.  This looks like doing what you said no matter what opinion you have about it, it means not giving attention and energy to what isn’t working, it means NEVER giving up no matter what it looks like all around you…you keep yourself focused on what you want to achieve and you refuse to be swayed by anything that doesn’t get you to where you are going.

This kind of war on your self is not easy, in fact it is very, very difficult and therefore the average person would never even begin to attempt it.  The average person gets stopped in life by the first sign of trouble…they hit the first obstacle and they quit.

In Navy Seal training an average starting class of 80 people ends up to be about 20 or so by the time graduation rolls around…the men that want to be Navy Seals NO MATTER WHAT are the ones that graduate.  In Seal training they are wet, cold, sleep deprived, physically challenged, mentally challenged and pretty much put through what most people have nightmares about—the BEST part of this…they ASK for it…they WANT to go…they strive to EXCEL…they want to be THE BEST…imagine that?  Navy Seal candidates want it so bad that they will do anything to get it.  Would you go through that kind of hell to get what you want?  Are your goals important enough for you to overcome yourself to achieve them?

Any goal or thing worth having is worth whatever challenge you have to go through to get it…that is the beauty inherent in the system of achievement…when you overcome yourself, when you work hard, when you change yourself to achieve something, then you can REALLY HAVE IT…you can REALLY appreciate it, you can feel deserving of it because you know that you EARNED it and it is yours to keep…be it a relationship or a successful business or a degree…whatever.

If you get something and you didn’t work for it the satisfaction of it is very short lived…handouts don’t teach us anything…challenging ourselves to be better teaches us a wisdom that can’t be learned any other way…xoxoxo