Don’t stop me if you’ve heard this already, it’s a good one. Do you realize that most of our “better days” haven’t even happened yet? That is actually quite amazing. I have been blessed enough in my life to have some awesome “better days”. Not all of them have been major accomplishments or even stacked with luxury. They all happened while just living out my life in real time.
I was able watch and beam with pride as my son and his team won a State Football Championship his senior year. I have screamed at the top of my lungs and jumped up and down while witnessing my daughter make a game winning PK in a shootout at a State Soccer Tournament. I have held babies, traveled to places with some of my favorite people, laughed until it hurt and tears streamed down my face, bought coffee for strangers behind me, seen some amazing sunrises and phenomenal sunsets. Talk about better days! I have had plenty…and I could go on and on.
I have also had my share of war stories. Having to pick myself up in times where I thought I couldn’t go on – maneuvering through some of the worst times of my life thus far. Feelings of insecurity, uncertainty, and shame. Feeling like I am transparent and that everyone in the entire world can see through me and knows my every fear and wanting to hide from the world because of it. But, I want more “better days”… and they are coming for me.
Recently, I have put a considerable amount of thought into what “better days” means to me. It means feeling more whole. More complete. Feeling more joys than sorrows. Tipping the happiness scale in my favor. The best part? I have a hand in choosing those better days. I get to choose how I respond to things that are not meant for me. I get to eliminate things that rob me of my joy, to bring myself peace. I don’t have to explain why and I don’t owe anyone anything for doing it. I get to hold out and know that I will indeed have better days – and I am ready.
Ready for those days to enter my life and burn themselves into my memory. Thinking of the times to come brings tears of excitement to my eyes. I look forward to seeing my children accomplishing their goals, watching them get married, holding my future grandchildren. I get to look forward to traveling to beautiful destinations that photos don’t do justice, and take it all in. When the time is right – experiencing immense butterflies with a first kiss, and at some point falling in love all over again. Driving with the windows down and the radio up while it plays my favorite songs on a warm summer day. Those are what “better days” are made of.
I get it, there will be some not-so-better-days ahead too. Dates on the calendar that we’d rather not remember. Holes and voids in our hearts left by those who should have loved us more. Missing someone who is gone too soon. Wanting to fall into bed at the end of the day painfully waiting for the day to be over. However, those days make the better ones so much more important. It aids them to be appreciated more.
Better days are on the horizon. I refuse to let them pass me by going unnoticed for what they truly are. I exercise my right to no longer feel as if I am required to walk with my head down and blinders on. There are more “better days” meant for me, and for you too!
I am putting up and waving my white flag in the wind, and giving up feeling like I don’t deserve the better days ahead. Instead, I am relishing in the appreciation and anticipation that I in fact get better days.