Tag Archives: dating

Slow Your Roll On Dating

Slowing your roll on dating….

Omg Janet I can’t t believe he hasn’t texted me back.. I texted him at 8:30 am and its 8:45 am.. ughh I know he doesn’t like me.  I shouldn’t have texted him… Yes I know I’m being a little over dramatic but its true.  All I can say is “Slow Your Roll” in dating.     

I think most of us experience these thoughts running through our head from time to time.  The insecure thoughts that take over our mind as we enter the world of dating.  The thoughts that we need to get past to become more confident and patient.   I still have those thoughts go through my head… It is really hard to overcome especially if you have had failed relationships in the past.  

I think the best advice I can give is to slow down in dating… “Slow Your Roll” as I say to my friends.  I think that the world of on line dating and texting has hurried up the entire process.  If someone doesn’t respond, we move on to the next.  If they do not respond within the time frame we set, we get upset.  Or we send another text….before they have time to respond.  

When I first started dating after my divorce, I was very insecure, plus I had not dated in about 13 years.  I would constantly think if I wasn’t texting someone or have a date planned for the week, they didn’t want to see me.  Obviously I forgot that people have lives and are sometimes busy.    Crazy, I know…I can not hide it at times.

  Everything just needs to slow down… they do not need to respond within minutes, there doesn’t need to be a next date set right, and you do not need to see each other every day.  When we start to rush and think this way, that is when my insecurities would kick in.  

Slow your roll… we can all take a minute to breathe in dating.  Take the time, have the patience, and enjoy the fun of dating.   I continuously remind myself of this over and over again.  When I start to ease back into my old way of thinking, I remember that there is no rush.   I have to take a minute to remember to slow down in my thoughts and actions.  

Slow your roll… I know some of us are looking for that ultimate soul mate and others are looking for companionship, either way, take the time.  Be patient.   There is nothing wrong with easing into the dating.  There doesn’t always need to be a plan for the next date, just day by day.  

I will be honest and maybe I am different than most, but I like time alone.  I do not want always want to spend my next free moment with someone.    So, I will say no to a date if I want a night to myself and it doesnt mean I do not want to date that person.  I just get very few moments to do nothing and sometimes I like that…

Be patient with each other.  Learn to listen to that person…I have learned to listen to what  they are saying…  If they say, they are just looking for something casual, then they are probably not going to give you as much time as you are expecting.   If they mention they have a big project next week, then they might not have time to see you.   I have just really tried to listen to what the person is saying instead of letting my insecurities set in.  

Take a breathe.  Let them take the time to respond.  Give yourself time to respond.  Do not rush into making the next plan.   I have just learned  that having patience is really the key when getting to know someone.  You also learn more about yourself and what you want in dating.  The more patience that I have, the more I learn about that person and myself.   So, slow your roll, dating is not a race.  

 

-Snarky

 

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/

When Life Gets Messy

When life gets messy with relationships and dating… how do you take time the time to figure it out?

When life gets messy…I used to just move on to the next thing and stay constantly busy. I would make plans every night. I would plan my weeks out way in advance. I would make sure to not have a free moment to myself. I would basically try and cover it all up, sweep it under the rug, and move on.

I was continuing to fall into the same pattern with my relationships. Mostly because I would not take the time to figure out what what went wrong or what I really wanted. You date someone for a few weeks, you break up, then you keep yourself continuously busy until the next person comes along that peaks your interest. I found this to be very true for me. I know that is what dating is about, but after a consistent pattern of failed relationships, I had to do some soul searching.

I have had to do a lot of self reflection on my relationships over the last five years, some were long term and others were short lived. At first, I just thought I wanted a relationship. I did not take the time to really think about what type.

Could I fit this person into my life?

Did I have time to meet what they needed?

Did I want a serious commitment?

Could they fit me into their life or their schedule?

Did they want a casual or serious commitment?

Did I need someone that would make plans with me weeks in advance?

I had to think was I too needy for them or not needy enough?


I needed to think about all of these things… and also think about what I was ok with in a relationship.

No one is going to do everything that you want. I think many times in the past, I have talked myself into dating this person longer than I have should have… I thought we might eventually like the same interests, I thought he might eventually show me more attention, I thought eventually he might do what I wanted…haha… I am kidding.

Many times I would say to my friends, “ ohh he is really nice”. Many people are nice, but I should not be dating them because they are nice. I would spend way to much time devoted to someone that was never going to fit with me, when I should have ended it.

Many times after the relationship failed, I was like how come I didn’t end it sooner. I mean there were huge red flags, but I just kept on with it and didn’t pay attention. If I would have just stopped, done some honest thinking with myself, I probably would have saved myself the heartache.

Besides trying to figure out why it didn’t work, I had to figure out what I wanted. If all the signs were there that it wasn’t working, why was I still determined to try… was it because I was afraid of being alone or just wanted the companionship.

I stopped keeping myself continuously busy, instead I slowed my life down. I stopped looking for the next relationship. I had to think about what was important to me. I asked myself all those questions over and over again. I had to realize that what I thought I wanted or was told I should want, was not really what I wanted. I was spending time going after the wrong relationships. I had to constantly remind myself of this when I began dating or a new relationship.

Because life in relationships gets messy… I had to continue to be very honest with myself.

-Snarky

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/

And Just Like That…Gone

And just like that she was gone.

I have wrote before about another woman spending time with my kids.   Now I am not sure what is worse… a new woman spending time with my kids or when that new woman just unexpectedly walks out of their lives. This woman came into my ex husbands life about five years ago. And immediately she was thrown into mine and my children’s lives. She wanted to be involved in every aspect of their lives. And now 5 years later, their step mom walked back out.

I always knew she would eventually just walk out. I believe it was just a gut feeling… I can admit now that I was never a fan of hers… never.   Yes, for years I bite my tongue in front of my kids. I put up with her lack of boundaries for myself or my children. I lived with the constant disrespect that she showed to me and my kids for years. And I did this because I knew my kids loved her…

Instead of of participating in any engagement with her, I set up numerous boundaries over the years. I had to set up these boundaries to survive.   I know many of my friends that have great relationships with their ex spouse and their new partner, but this was not the case with us. We could not co parent due to this woman being involved. And its not the story of the jealous ex wife, this woman had no limitations.

For years, I learned to let her be involved in school activities, conferences, religion class, field trips, sporting events, etc. And when I mean involved, I mean from the point of walking into my kindergartener’s classroom and introducing herself as their mom. From volunteering for field trips before I was even included. For volunteering for my daughters summer mission trip, which It did not know about until I attended the meeting. I would just back away and let her do it.   Arguing with my ex, was just useless… and I could not live my life with constant fighting or arguments. I knew the older my kids got, the more they would realize that she pushed herself on them all the time.

Yes, I still believe she did help my children in many ways. And I believe that she loved them…. However one day she just walked out. And I mean she just packed up her stuff and left for good.   My girls are teenagers now, so they had become less close to her over the last couple of years. Like all teenagers, they wanted their space and independence. She had a hard time with that and did not let them make their own decisions. In return, it caused a lot of arguments and tense situations at their dad’s house. And as they got older, they noticed the disrespect that she showed me….

However, my son is still young and impressionable. He was very close to her the last couple years. Since he was the youngest, they would spend a lot of time together.   He respected her and lover her… And he still has a hard time talking about her…. I remind him that she loved him and that she did a lot for him. I still want him to talk about the fun times with her and remember her for that.

I try to be as positive as I can in the situation with my son, without telling him my true feelings and anger towards what she did to them.

As for me, I have a lot of anger built up because I put up with this woman for 5 years. I put up with her pushing herself into their lives. I tolerated her obsession to be included in everything that included the kids. And then she just decided to leave their lives.

And as a mom, I just wanted to protect my children from everything. I always said my greatest fear would be that she would just walk out of their lives, and she did.   I knew I would have to be the one to help pick up their broken hearts. And I let her be involved in their lives, because as much as she paid no respect to myself or boundaries, she was still their step mom.

But the next time, I will not be as tolerating…

-Snarky

http://www.snarkydivorcedgal.com/

The One They Claim They Want

The one they claim they want but cannot handle.

“Looking for a girl who’s tired of the games.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen that exact phrase listed on a dating website bio.  A guy claims he wants something real with someone real.  But then when he gets it, he ghosts it.

I’m one of those girls that goes all-in on everything.  Work, motherhood, friendships, dating- if I’m invested in something, I’m going to really invest in it.  That’s why it hurts so much when I don’t receive the same in return.

I’ve been divorced for a year, and in that time, I’ve had 2 legitimate relationships and a whole bunch of texting relationships.  The texting relationships, I’m learning, seem to be the new thing- whether there’s a pandemic going on or not.

When I made my first online dating profile, I was flattered by how many likes and messages I received.  I thought to myself, “Wow, I really might find my Prince Charming after all.”  I’m laughing now as I write that.  Anyone who has experienced online dating knows you have to weed out a lot of frogs before you find that prince.

The fact is, I am that girl that’s tired of the games.  I can play with the best of them, but I’m definitely tired of them.  So, when a guy tells me the same thing, I expect them to mean it.  If they say they want to see me, then I expect them to prove it.

I’m a busy mom.  I have my son most of the time and I work full-time as a writer.  I’ve also been my son’s teacher for the past 3 months because of the pandemic.  I’m a very social person so I love to see my family and friends often.  But, even as busy as I am, I still make time for the person I’m dating.

The fact is, if you really want to see someone or talk to someone, you’ll make time.  It takes 2 seconds to send a “hello” text or a kiss emoji.  If I’m not worth 2 seconds of your time, but you can be on social media scrolling for hours, then I’m not the one for you.

What I’m learning in this post-divorce dating world is that it’s very different from pre-marriage dating.  Instead of feeling the need to settle down and get married and start a family, I want to find someone that adds value to my life and is a true partner.

I’m learning that I’m strong enough to live on my own.  I can pay my own bills.  I can take care of my child on my own.  I don’t need a man.  I’m also learning that a lot of men can’t handle that.  They claim they want the smart, independent woman who’s not afraid of commitment, but then they get her and they run.

I’m also learning that I’m not going to settle for a relationship where my partner isn’t as equally invested as I am.  That’s the beauty of divorce.  You can finally go after what you want instead of what you need.  That freedom is going to make you realize that a lot of people aren’t as genuine as they seem.  They may believe that what they’re saying they want is the truth, but when it comes down to it, they can’t handle it.

You’re always going to be too much of something for some people.  It’s impossible to please everyone.  I know the disappointment can be disheartening when you’re a single mom.  Your time is precious, and the last thing you want to do is waste it on yet another failed relationship.

It’s ok to take some time off.  It’s ok to keep putting yourself out there.  It’s ok to never want to be in a relationship again.  This is your life.  Don’t let some guys that can’t handle a real woman dull your shine.

Will I continue with online dating?  Probably, since there’s not a lot of ways to meet someone when you’re a busy single mom.  I still believe there’s a guy out there somewhere who says he can handle me, and actually can.  Until then, I’ll be perfecting my duck lips for my dating profile picture.

-Lindsay, The Divorced Mama Bear 

Instagram.com/thedivorcedmamabear

Do I Need A Man?

Do I need a man? I heard a commercial on the radio for a new talk show. One line stood out to me in a snippet of interviews. I have no idea who it was, but she said (and I’m paraphrasing), “when I got divorced, I found I needed men to help me find my way back to myself.” That line has been sort of reverberating around in my head for the past couple of days. I’ve been trying to figure out if it was true for me or not.

As an independent woman, I think my first inclination is to say; wait, I don’t need a man for anything. I only want a man for things. However, the more I think about it, the more I feel a connection to those words. There are some men in my life that I really needed to go through in order to know what I wanted, what I needed, and what I deserved. Then, ultimately when I found all of those things in someone, I needed to be able to let him heal some things in me that I could not heal on my own.

Let’s start with the first guy I fell for. He may have been the first guy I genuinely fell for my whole life. But looking back, I fell for a game. He was well versed in keeping women’s attention and he thrived on it. We never dated, but we talked all the time. We talked about random things, sometimes nothing exciting at all. But he was who I wanted to talk to. I was hooked on the conversation. And he really talked to me. It was something I hadn’t had in my marriage. So, what I learned from that is that I needed someone who would talk to me. Someone who would be my go-to person. That is the positive that I learned, and I won’t even delve into the negative.

Next was the guy who was amazing in bed. He wasn’t just amazing in bed though, he was genuinely attracted to me and could not get enough. That was important because it was something else lacking in my marriage. I needed to know that someone could see me like that. Because I saw myself primarily as a mother, then as the ex-wife of a man who never wanted me, and never as an attractive woman. I also learned in a successful relationship, sex is a very important part of the foundation for me.

Lastly, was the man who treated me like a princess. He was older than me and very kind. At first he lavished attention, time, and gifts. He always opened my car door and treated me with respect. He made me feel beautiful and taken care of. It didn’t work out, but it was a mostly positive experience. He taught me that I deserve those things because I’m willing to give them.

So I learned all of those things that I wanted in a relationship by dating men. So, it was true for me, I did need men to help me realize things about myself. There were other men, my ex-husband, one narcissistic nightmare, and various others along the way, but I am choosing to focus on the good I learned from them and not the negative, though I learned many cautionary tales. They molded me as well, but I am afraid not necessarily in good ways, except maybe to make me stronger and wiser.

I learned I need meaningful conversation and a lot of it. I learned that sex and feeling attractive is huge for me and has to be solid. And I learned that I want to be treated well, maybe not over the top, but some chivalry is very much appreciated. And then I knew I needed those things to have a successful relationship. And then I met someone who gave me all three.

Stronger Than Yesterday,

Alice

Yep, I Was Ghosted

Yep.. I was ghosted. You meet someone online, you start texting back and forth, then it leads to daily good morning texts to afternoon texts, to evening texts. You talk continuously throughout the day about everything. It continues for months..

Then it just stops.. no morning texts or afternoon texts. Nothing… just crickets. So I guess that’s what people say is ghosted. I was ghosted. I even confirmed with my friends …sure shit I was..

Most of the time, I am not the girl that initiates a snap or text. Maybe I’m old fashion or just want to feel wanted. I’m just a girl that really enjoys funny humor and communication. I enjoy getting to know someone.

So now I’m asking myself…what did I say or do? Was it because I didn’t initiate conversation? Maybe I should have initiated more texts.. but it’s a hard line to walk because I don’t want to be the annoying needy girl. Ugh… no one wants that.

Or was it because I don’t have the time to send a million selfies? Did I not use the right filters? Or was I boring? Maybe I wasn’t using the right emojis..But why the ghosting? Honestly I’m not sure I’ll ever know.

And sometimes you even start making excuses for the person that ghosted you.. like I thought to myself, “ ohh he must be really busy at work or he must be with his kids, or maybe he’s sick”…. Right. I have learned from my dating life when someone is into you and when they are not. And here I am now making excuses.

I have asked myself all those questions over and over…Why does it happen to so many of us all the time…The ghosting.. I just don’t understand how people can not communicate. Or maybe just could say that they are not interested, or confused, or dont know what they want… but something would be better than nothing at all.

It’s hard to start being invested in someone and then they just disappear. It really tugs at your heart, your self confidence and self worth at times. It definitely played with my insecurities. It doesn’t matter if you are 16 or 56, you still have the same emotions with getting to know someone. And after it happens once, how do you prevent it from happening again. I know I have my guard up a lot more now.

And I know I was guilty of ghosting when I was on dating apps years ago. I would chat or go one a date with someone and then eventually not respond. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings or have a tough conversation. So instead I would just not respond, instead of being an actual adult.

Then I learned it was better to just be honest if there was no connection, or if you felt you wanted something different. And with some people, I have continued on with a friendship.

But with others, I have had to discontinue all communication. I learned that I was looking for the easy way out. And I would avoid the difficulty. Not one of my best decisions…

So when it happened to me now. I just had to let it go. You might never know why you were ghosted. You just move on. Getting caught up in the why it happened will not get you to move forward. Some people are not able to communicate how you would like…and as much as you want a reason or answer, you might not get it.

Unfortunately, I still miss the person that I talked to daily…. The ghoster.. most of the time it was just meaningless humor and daily conversation. And I miss that in the craziness of my life…

-snarky

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/blog

Man Up

Do you want a Man’s Man?  A strong, get-it-done, rough & tumble kinda man?  

Then you need to listen to what he says, & watch what he does.  Do those two things line up? When he says he’s going to pick you up at 8:00… does he pick you up at 8:00?   When he says it’ll be fun to go somewhere special, does he take you there? When he says he’ll make the plan for Friday night, does he follow through?  When he says he doesn’t eat junk food, does he go to a fast food place and justify why?  

Are you asking why does this matter?  

It matters because 

# 1 – it’s important that your man keeps his word

 #2 – it’s important that he values his commitments to you

 #3 – it‘s important…because when he says “you’re beautiful”… you believe him

 

Men are action oriented.  They are doers, hunters, fighters, chasers.  They are bold, courageous and strong. If we don’t give them the space to be that MAN, and we take away THAT manhood that we want so much… they could feel unwanted, undervalued or even threatened and they just might leave.  

It is not our job to be the man in the relationship.  It is not our job to do, to get, to fix, to plan. It is our job to BE….be femininity, be heart, be comfort, be quiet, be encouragement.  They have hard edges, ours are soft. They get to the point, we talk in long sentences. They drive, we relax. They do, we be. Am I making sense?

If we don’t allow them the space to hunt, court, defend, protect …..because we’re doing it.  Because we’re calling first, we’re making the plans, we’re in control, we’re figuring it out and we’re fixing it where it’s messy…. if we DO all the DOING….. we’re not giving them the opportunity to be living at “full throttle” in their manliness… protecting, providing, fixing… and they just might not stick around.  You can be an independent woman and still bring on the captivating feminine.  

So sit down, smile, flip your hair and bat your lashes.  He’s about to Man Up.

xoxo

Your God-Girl,

Tracy

The Whole Pie

The whole pie…

I have shared with you all there are certain things I am hesitant to share.

I have been told I can be hard to know. Not as a person but in relationships. I don’t share, I put my guard up.

It’s definitely something I am working on and working through.

God bless my therapist.

At the core of it is trust. While in my day to day I see the best in people sometimes to a fault. For people I am in relationships with I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

That blueprint was laid down early on. If I’m being honest, I think I have only had two relationships my whole life where I wasn’t cheated on. I will own some of this. I tend to fall for the men who in conversations I end my sentences with he’s not like that when he’s with me. He promises he won’t. He will by a certain date.

The irony is I come from a family where my parents have been married for over forty plus years. They are loving and supportive.

Where did I learn that wasn’t what I deserved? When did I become “The Fixer of Broken Boys”?

I honestly don’t know.

The older my daughter gets, the more I realize I have to make sure I show her what a healthy relationship looks like. 

Sad thing is here I sit at almost fifty and guess what? I am just starting to have one.

Now you know that.

We still have some mountains to climb and we have our moments, but for the first time since I became a single Mom, I think this person might be someone worthy of my daughter.

That is saying something because well, I have been single since she was two and she’s twelve.

I have someone who doesn’t dismiss me when I am upset. The phrase “I am not trying to lessen how you feel…” , has actually been used when he has been perhaps sharing his side of a disagreement.

I feel like I can let down my walls. Here’s the thing. They are those electric mall kind, so I can just as quickly put them back up. But they’re firmly in the middle right now. That’s a start.

My best friend, who is also a single Mom and has known me since I was thirteen, shared with me a beautiful post about you should be in a relationship that feels like you have the whole pie. 

I don’t have the whole pie just yet but I definitely have a pretty big slice.

As I do I’m sending you love Mommas.

<3 Caprise

Let Your Single Friends Be Single

Let your single friends be single…

I was out with some friends a few weeks ago, just having a fun night with my friends for a birthday celebration, and then it starts…the classic “I need to find you a boyfriend”…

I am a smart confident woman, with a career, friends, a great family and 3 amazing kids.  What makes you think that a boyfriend or relationship is my top priority???

 

#1- When I say I am not looking for a relationship I mean it…

I love my friends! I spent 13 years in a marriage that kept me from being myself. I am loving the last couple years of learning about what I want in life. I am loving learning to do things alone. I am loving finding out what I want in a relationship.  I need to figure out all those things before I can get into a serious relationship.

When I say I am not looking for a relationship, it’s like they can not hear me.  But why do they think they can find the man of my dreams and I can’t… I feel I have a pretty good judge of character, so I’m guessing I could probably find one on my own.

 

#2-Always being auctioned off…

Do you know how annoying it is that when you go to drinks with your friends they try and raffle you off…like it’s a meat raffle.  Or they pick out guys that they think are single at the bar and try and get their attention for you. Or they ask the servers or bartenders if they are single…

Maybe your single friends just want to go out with their friends and catch up. They don’t always want to be singled out as the “single” friend. It might not even be a top priority for them.  And I get so nervous when I feel singled out. I am not the type of person that likes to be the center of attention, so I usually never even talk to the person.

Right now,  I really do not want to be set up with my friends co-worker, brother, neighbor, or the dad on the soccer team…

But why do friends think they can find the man of my dreams and I can’t… I’m guessing I could probably find one on my own.  But they are all determined to find me the “one”. The one.. the ultimate dream guy for me.

 

#3-Listen to your single friends…

I know it’s hard for my friends to understand that maybe I am not hunting down the “one”.  That maybe when I say I am not ready to get into a relationship I am actually telling the truth.

Maybe it’s a good idea to ask your friends why they are single?  Maybe it’s many reasons.. maybe they are concentrating on other things in their life right now, maybe they had a hard break up in the past, maybe they don’t want to get hurt… there are many things that make people not focus on not getting into a relationship.

Relationships and dating are hard.  They take a lot of work and are a huge time commitment.  I follow many different single women websites, and there are many women out there that have just given up on dating.  They have had bad experiences with online dating and just don’t want to waste time anymore.

My 94 year old grandma told me on Christmas that I better start dating because I don’t have much time left.. I laughed and said “ ohh grandma I’m not even going to think about dating until I’m 60”.

I am so content in my lifestyle now, but at times I go back and forth with dating. There are times when I do feel really alone from not being in a relationship.  I worry at times about not being alone once my kids are grown.  It is a very scary feeling to think about years from now.  I go through periods of time when I think I should get into a relationship.  I do date occasionally, but it’s mostly just for companionship.

I received the best advice a couple weeks ago from someone.. I was venting about not wanting to be in a relationship and why am I so different than my other friends that are in relationships. I kept saying, “what’s wrong with me..I was mentioning how it is just not a priority for me, but at times I feel like I should be dating”.

She said, you just need to do what you want and not worry about what you “think” you should be doing…Sometimes an almost stranger can say something to you that just clicks.

So if you have that friend that is constantly pushing a relationship on you or trying to set you up with their kids soccer coach, somehow get them to listen to you.

Maybe you just say listen here

“Joanne from Nebraska … I don’t want you to find me a man.. I’m happy with my life… are you listening to me”….

Be honest with your friends and tell them what you want right now. Tell them what you are excited about in your life, tell them it’s not the right time, or just tell them to just listen to you…

-Snarky

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/

Please Text More Than “Hi”

I wish someone would explain the meaning of the “hi” text.  I do not understand the constant texting but never asking someone out on a date.  If you are interested in me, then ask me out or ask me to do something.  I would like someone who would get to the point and be honest.  I feel that a lot of the men that I have corresponded with are interested in just texting.  Yep, here we go another pen pal.  And I am sure this goes both ways, that girls waste time and just send “hi” texts also.

I am probably going to write about more what not to do than what to do.

You text me short texts every morning that consist of “hi” or “this day sucks”  but why can’t you say “good morning” or “how is your day?” Anything that would show some interest in the person you are texting.  Girls want to feel like they are important to you or that you care, or possibly show some interest.  I do not think anyone wants to start their day with a debbie downer text from someone that they barely know.  Some days I feel like I’m trying to cheer up Eeyore.

I have just spent the morning yelling at my kids about getting in the car before school or fought with them over what color pants to wear or that they can not eat Doritos for breakfast, so getting a good morning text on my way to work can be a complete game changer for my day.   I love “good morning” texts.  Honestly, a good morning text will probably get you a date with me.

Or there is the every other day “hi” from someone.  You don’t want to seem too needy or desperate  so I get just a “hi” every few days.  And nothing else.  I honestly do not even know how to respond to those texts.  I ask questions back for example, “ do you have any plans this weekend” and I get “not much” in response.  I know we are not all super chatty but you need to put a little effort into it.  Something to get the conversation going…

For example its basic…might be kinda nerdy but it gets the conversation going…

Man-How was your day?

Woman–Good, The weather today is beautiful. I am going to go for a hike after work

Man-Really, that sounds perfect.  Where do you like to hike?

Woman-I love to hike at the state park near my house. It’s so relaxing in the evening.

Man-I know. I have started to get back into hiking and running.  Would you like to go hiking next week one night?

Simple conversation that could lead to a date…

I do not know who invented the “hi” text but it has got to be the most confusing text to send to a girl.

And if you are going to send a “hi” text, can you please follow up with something like “whatcha doing, did you make it to work, how was your workout”, or anything that shows you have interest in them.  Something that they have told you in the last few days that you can ask about.

If you have to store a “notes section” in your phone with things to remember about that person, then do it.  There are many reminder apps these days, just pick one. And if you ask about my day and I tell you about it, then have text me back and start a conversation over it.  Don’t just not respond.

Here is the truth..I get “hi” texts and  “ good nights” texts, which turn into nothing. I eventually get bored and don’t respond.  Say what you mean and just ask.  Don’t spend weeks or months sending short ‘hi” texts because that does not turn into a conversation or definitely not a relationship.

I love when I get something that includes a bit of something we had discussed earlier.  I love that I told you my kids had swimming lessons 3 days ago and you remembered and asked about it.  Maybe you just looked back at our messages, but I don’t care because you put some effort into the text.   Maybe you know I get up every morning to work out, so you text me at 7 am each morning to see how my workout was.

Those are the things that girls want…  If you like her or want it to go somewhere, then show some interest in her life…

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