Slowing your roll on dating….
Omg Janet I can’t t believe he hasn’t texted me back.. I texted him at 8:30 am and its 8:45 am.. ughh I know he doesn’t like me. I shouldn’t have texted him… Yes I know I’m being a little over dramatic but its true. All I can say is “Slow Your Roll” in dating.
I think most of us experience these thoughts running through our head from time to time. The insecure thoughts that take over our mind as we enter the world of dating. The thoughts that we need to get past to become more confident and patient. I still have those thoughts go through my head… It is really hard to overcome especially if you have had failed relationships in the past.
I think the best advice I can give is to slow down in dating… “Slow Your Roll” as I say to my friends. I think that the world of on line dating and texting has hurried up the entire process. If someone doesn’t respond, we move on to the next. If they do not respond within the time frame we set, we get upset. Or we send another text….before they have time to respond.
When I first started dating after my divorce, I was very insecure, plus I had not dated in about 13 years. I would constantly think if I wasn’t texting someone or have a date planned for the week, they didn’t want to see me. Obviously I forgot that people have lives and are sometimes busy. Crazy, I know…I can not hide it at times.
Everything just needs to slow down… they do not need to respond within minutes, there doesn’t need to be a next date set right, and you do not need to see each other every day. When we start to rush and think this way, that is when my insecurities would kick in.
Slow your roll… we can all take a minute to breathe in dating. Take the time, have the patience, and enjoy the fun of dating. I continuously remind myself of this over and over again. When I start to ease back into my old way of thinking, I remember that there is no rush. I have to take a minute to remember to slow down in my thoughts and actions.
Slow your roll… I know some of us are looking for that ultimate soul mate and others are looking for companionship, either way, take the time. Be patient. There is nothing wrong with easing into the dating. There doesn’t always need to be a plan for the next date, just day by day.
I will be honest and maybe I am different than most, but I like time alone. I do not want always want to spend my next free moment with someone. So, I will say no to a date if I want a night to myself and it doesnt mean I do not want to date that person. I just get very few moments to do nothing and sometimes I like that…
Be patient with each other. Learn to listen to that person…I have learned to listen to what they are saying… If they say, they are just looking for something casual, then they are probably not going to give you as much time as you are expecting. If they mention they have a big project next week, then they might not have time to see you. I have just really tried to listen to what the person is saying instead of letting my insecurities set in.
Take a breathe. Let them take the time to respond. Give yourself time to respond. Do not rush into making the next plan. I have just learned that having patience is really the key when getting to know someone. You also learn more about yourself and what you want in dating. The more patience that I have, the more I learn about that person and myself. So, slow your roll, dating is not a race.