I have been divorced for almost 6 years and single for over two, if you get what I mean. After my last relationship I took a yearlong break from men, and what I literally mean by that is no dates, no random sex, the celibate life (well, except for some self-care, don’t judge, a woman has needs!!!)
People always say work on yourself, when you are happy alone, you’ll be ready to be with someone. So after the year, I was calm and happy so I decided to jump back in.
As a divorced woman with children and a full time job, is no lie that time is very limited. Since most my friends are married and none of them are jumping to introduce me to anyone, I had to turn into dating apps to find that special someone.
I have tried virtually every app out there, which I can compare and contrast for you next time. I honestly had to sit down last night to figure out how many first dates I have gone on, and how many turned into a second or third. I have to sadly report that my batting average is pretty low and for sure none have turned into a relationship.
I’ve tried dating older, my age, good looking, not so good looking, being flexible with my “must haves”. The end result is the same, I’ve struck out and I’m out.
So, I have decided to go back to my single “semi” celibate life. Call me a quitter, but a player needs to be able to know when to retire.
So for all of you still looking for “the one”, I give you some pointers so you don’t get burned out like I did:
Set a time to look at the apps – Looking at these apps can literally turn into a full time job ugh. Looking at profiles, messaging people, etc. It can also become addicting. Set a time to just do that once a day and then stop and live.
Date more than one guy at a time – I know for some of us that seems weird, but the truth is, until you are exclusive, men are probably doing the same. Also, this helps not to become so obsessed with one person and know that there are other interested men out there, he is got competition 😉
Do not be result oriented – This is a really hard one for me. I’m a successful career woman and I got there by setting goals and working towards them. Dating does not work that way, trust me. So just meet these people and have fun and don’t fantasize about the future. If you start
putting milestones on your dating, you will not enjoy the experience.
Next time I will follow my own advice as I do believe dating can be fun, however for now I am going to bench myself for this season, perhaps I am not ready to retire after all.
See you in the trenches,