Tag Archives: Covid

Starting To Take My Life Back

I started taking part of my old life back…

In March, working from home, felt like a dream… I had always wanted to work from home or have the flexibility.  Then in a matter of weeks, we were all home.  Trying to manage it all, work, school, household duties, plus trying to avoid catching a deadly virus.   Not knowing what to do and what not to do…and soon it was 6 months later and we were all still home.  Yes, I had learned how to adapt to the new normal and the constant changing of the world.  

At first, I would get up and stick to a routine, working out, putting on real clothes, planning ahead for my workday from home… I have even wrote about it a few times and the importance of sticking to a routine.   But over the next few months, things started to slip… less getting up early, less putting on work clothes, less planning ahead… it had turned into getting up 10 minutes before I turned on my computer. I quickly brushed my teeth and put on my same clothes that I had worn for the last 4 days.  No make up, no hair brushing, and maybe a pony tail.   And I am a routine person.  I love routines and I live for them… they make me feel accomplished.  

After about 4 months of being home, I just felt like I had no motivation.  It was beginning to get harder and harder to concentrate on work while I was at home.   I was constantly bombarded with interruptions from my children.  I could not stay on track with any tasks.  I would try to be the supermom with doing it all, but then I felt like my work was slipping…the thought of another zoom meeting makes we want to throw up.

I could not get back on track.  Being at home everyday was not as fun as it started out to be…. It did not feel rewarding, instead it felt depressing and unmotivating.  I noticed that I was also working all the time, whenever I had a free moment I would hop on my computer to respond to an email.   

So here we are in October.. wondering if Halloween is cancelled… wishing for 2020 to just end.  I am pretty sure the majority of us are wondering what next year will bring.  We are just waiting, we are in limbo, trying to figure out how this will all end.

Honestly, I was tired of it all… and I dreaded spending another long day at home, so I decided to start going back into the office a couple days a week.  I could not wait any longer.  I never thought that I would be choosing to go into the office, instead of working from home.  Working from home was my dream.

6 months later, I was setting my alarm for 5:15 am to go workout, come home quick and get into the office by 8.  I had to dig out my “work” clothes which were buried in the back of my closest..hoping they still fit.   I was packing my lunch and remembering to grab my Diet Mountain Dew as I headed out the door.

It was amazing, how after the 1st week, I felt so much better about myself.  I felt like I had a purpose again.  Just the feeling of laughing and joking with a few co workers in person, was rewarding.  I felt like I could actually accomplish and complete things. It was an exciting feeling, and a feeling that I have not felt in months.    

It also felt like I took a little bit of the old life back…the life before March.  It felt comforting with all the challenges and obstacles that we have overcame in the last 6 months.  It also opened the doors for us to start adding in other parts of our “old” life.   So, the kids and I started to attend church in person again.  What a feeling.

Even with all the changes this last year, I am learning to live a different way, along with trying to adapt to all of it, and doing it without losing our shit, somethings can still bring you back to how things were before…the old life.

-Snarky

www.snarkydivorcedgal.com

New Normal, Ready To Pivot

My new normal and ready to pivot…

It’s Sunday and as I do every Sunday I am listening to music and writing.

This Sunday I have an officemate. He’s eighty pounds and since it’s storming he would really like to be a lap dog.

My guy AKA the majestic goldendoodle I call Doozer.

We are listening to YUNGBLUD Strawberry Lipstick today. The chorus “take it easy on me…”

I feel that in my bones right now. After working from home since the end of March I go back to working in an office in a week, with people. A few things, in all of this I continue to be incredibly grateful to be working. I love what I do. I love who I work for and who I work with.

So this is not that.

There are little things I am worried about.

There are also big things.

I have a routine with my daughter and the guy hanging out with me right now.

I don’t know the last time. I wore shoes.

I haven’t driven much. Pants? What are those?

Up until March for thirteen years I worked a job where I was on call from six AM to six PM. Then a new job and two weeks later COVID.

I was forced to slow down. Rethink everything and I have said this before as horrible as this all is… I gesture broadly. The time with my daughter. Phone conversations with my friends every week. I read books. I stop. I am thankful, I am grateful. I breathe.

As some people close to me say, we’ve had to learn to pivot.

Now it’s five months later and another pivot.

A change to my new normal.

And I’m scared.

Am I still going to do the things I’ve learned?

I keep going in my daughter’s room just because. She’s thirteen and is not amused. I say I am doing this because in a week I can’t anymore.

I wear shorts and t-shirts everyday.

I don’t do my hair.

Makeup… eeee…

Again I am thankful I have friends who have been dealt a much different hand. G’s Dad actually let me know he lost his job.

So I am incredibly aware of how close to the ledge I walk. And how incredibly lucky I am.

But maybe the worry, the fear, the nervousness is good. It means I’m aware of my new normal. I’m aware I am going to have to be ready to pivot.

And honestly at our core isn’t that what we do as Moms?

Pivot.

Be safe

Much love Mommas

<3 Caprise

Mom Guilt During Covid

Mom guilt during Covid…….I am tired. I can’t kick this feeling that I should be doing more.  I  finally lost it today and hid in the closet and cried.

Anyone else feeling “Mom-Guilt” during Quarantine?  My social media is telling me that I should be playing more games with my kids, going on more walks, cooking healthy meals, and having fantastic bonding moments baking with my kids.  Instead, the kids are tired of my cooking, are bored with walks around the same park, run to their electronics every chance I let them, and we are on our ten-thousandth episode of Naked and Afraid. Also, I am exhausted.   I love my kids and spending time with them, but even “Impactful Parents” need a break. I am not bored.  I am the opposite of bored.  I can’t get enough done during the day.  My to-do list of engaging bonding activities with my kids AND the upkeep on my house AND maintaining the necessities of my children (like school-at-home, 3-meals a day, laundry, and supervision,) AND my work-from-home job, NEVER-SEEM-TO-END.  I fall asleep each night with a feeling of, “Damn, I never got _____ done.”

Yes, the quarantine is wearing on me.  It is time to refocus and give myself grace.   If you’re reading this and you feel like I do, I want you to know that you’re not alone.  The good news, there are two things you can do to help.

1. Prioritize yourself.   This is sooooo difficult but so necessary! To be a better parent, you have to prioritize your well-being; otherwise, you will get grumpier, more tired,and you’re best “mommy-skills” will begin to diminish.  In short, you will burn out, and you’re kids need you.  Prioritize self-care, like exercise, alone time, and mental breaks.
2. Redefine your priorities.  I have been wondering, “Am I failing my children?”  When they look back on this time, what will they remember? In most cases, children don’tremember WHAT you said nor WHAT you did, but instead,they remember HOW you made them feel.  I hope my kidsremember all the love and security.   That is my main goal as a parent during this quarantine- make my kids feel loved and secure. My goal each day is not too be the best homeschool teacher.  It is not to stop my kids from eating ice cream.  It is not to prevent them from playing Minecraft.  My goal is to make sure that my kids know I love them and that they are protected during this uncertain time. When this is all over, I want my kids to have the confidence they need to go back to their routine and the mental resiliency to get through this epidemic without going crazy.  Those qualities are founded on love and security.

What are your goals for today?

Don’t compare yourself to the Jones’ next door or to Karen’s photos on Instagram.   Be the best YOU.  Be the best parent for your children (what-ever that looks like in YOUR house.)

-The Impactful Parent

@theimpactfulparent on social media