Tag Archives: Christmas

‘Bad Moms Christmas’ TWSM Movie Review

‘Bad Moms Christmas’ starts out with the main characters, Amy, Carla, and Kiki –three friends who became friends after not fitting in with the “in’ crowd at the school PTA.  They are eagerly awaiting the holidays with their families when out of the blue each of their mothers all show up for a “Surprise!  I’m here!  Merry Christmas!” type of holiday.  As wonderful as this is for many people, it’s not quite the way these three wanted to get the Christmas season started.

Carla’s mom just shows up after three years, or four, who’s counting anyway?  In the past, any time she has visited Carla she inevitably needed money.  So, it’s no wonder that the first words out of Carla’s mouth are “What are you doing here Mom?”

Kiki’s mom shows up not only because KiKi is her daughter but because she believes the are soulmates.  They are in fact clones with her mom dressing like her and even sporting the same hairstyle.  One may also say that she is a little co-dependent as well. 

And then there is Amy.  Yes, Amy Mitchell, the single mom who juggles work and trying to make a great life for her kids.  Her mom is one who is never pleased so when Amy finds her at the front door “happy” wouldn’t exactly be the word to describe her emotion. Her reason for being there was to help give the “perfect” Christmas to her grandchildren since she believes her daughter can’t do it.   

The three friends meet at the mall and after complaining to each other for awhile they decide to get drunk in the food court.  This is where they decide they are going to take Christmas back and not let their mother’s presence ruin their time with their families.  They are going to do Christmas their way. But first Amy must get a tree in order to make her mother happy.  The three friends take the one from Lady Foot Locker that is decorated in shoes!

There are a lot of fun and funny moments in this movie just as in the original Bad Moms which is one reason I chose this movie.  This year of all years we need to laugh and while I personally was watching it today, I did laugh – a lot!  And I needed it.  Christmas can be so stressful with the gift buying and parties and all the “Christmasy” things that never seem to end.  Things are different this year. Amazon has been my best friend as far as shopping goes.  There are no parties to attend.  And I can’t even visit extended family as I live in a different state and we are trying to keep everyone healthy.  Even so I am choosing to focus on the positive.  At least all my kids are home.  And on Christmas morning we will wake up to our beautiful tree, have a nice fire in the fireplace, eat dinner together, open gifts, play games.  The key word in the previous sentence was “together” which in the end is the best gift of all!

~Sherri

Holidays Are Hard

Holidays are hard…I am writing this in a crunch. I am listening to Taylor Swift, a Diet Pepsi that is so flat it’s not worth it is nearby, as is my daughter’s Christmas list.

I have been writing these blogs for almost two years. The first one I wrote as a regular contributor was right around this time and it was about the holidays and that pang. That pang you get as a parent who shares holidays with a former spouse.

Holidays are hard.

Let’s be honest they suck.

That dance you do. My least favorite dance by the way.

I wrote that blog from my perspective.

I didn’t stop to think about my daughter’s Dad. More importantly I didn’t stop to think about my daughter.

We have been attending this “dance” for almost eleven years. One year Santa didn’t come until the day after Christmas. She has had to wait. Ask me to share lists. Some people think she gets two things isn’t that great.

Is it?

So I asked her. How she feels about things. What she wants. She’s thirteen now. 

Well I should first tell you…Last year she put her foot down and told us how it was going to be. She wanted to wake up Christmas morning here, then go to her Dad’s. Then come home. She told me she was mad we waited so long to ask. I said well you were little…

That kind of smoothed things over. 

This year we now have COVID to contend with. Our state has actually mandated no gatherings with people outside of the home. So I asked her…now what? How are you feeling about things?

Meh she says.

What does that mean?

Mom, I can’t get upset about things I can’t control, remember? No point.

Wow. You are much calmer about this than I am. 

I know. She laughs.

I still worry that Christmas is never what it should be or Thanksgiving or Easter…

I will always feel that pang when she goes. I will always worry she is not getting the holidays she deserves.

The older she gets we are talking and making the holidays more hers. As they always should have been as I meant them to be. But as you know there’s no playbook for this. What you think is right maybe isn’t. So you try to make each moment, each holiday,better.

I am thankful for such a great kid in spite of me figuring this out as I go.

And maybe figuring it out wrong.

 

Be safe Mommas and much love.

💚Caprise

Season Of Gratitude

Season of gratitude….

With Thanksgiving right around the corner I am especially aware of how important it is to be grateful. Not merely as a concept, but more as an experience that can bring you to tears.

It has taken me the better part of my adult life to fully experience gratitude in my body. One of the turning points for me was reading a book called Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer by Brother David Steindl-Rast. He has a wonderful video on YouTube where he described why we should be profoundly grateful to simply wake up in the morning. I encourage you to view it here https://youtu.be/3Zl9puhwiyw.

The bottom line is what Brother David expresses is everything in this world has been given to us. The air that we breathe, the water that we drink, our bodies that’s simply work. I used to take all of these things for granted. The idea that I could just go into the kitchen and turn on the faucet and have clean, potable water to drink. Both hot and cold running water when so much of the world doesn’t have it. That is amazing. Really.

This was also my wife’s favorite time of the year. She assigned all of her clients and students to write 1000 gratitudes before Thanksgiving day. I never once heard anyone say ” yay I can’t wait!” The reaction was more commonly a groan or a grunt. It always became an exercise in overcoming ourselves, but in the long run was a glorious exercise. And showed us how there are so many things in our lives day to day, to be grateful for. The people and things that we interact with every day make our lives wonderful, and we can stop and acknowledge that. 

Of course there are some things in our lives we cannot be grateful for, that we wish would never have happened,  or would never happen again, but that’s not what this exercise is about. Trust me, you can always return to that way of thinking anytime you choose, but for today, for now join me in thinking about all of the wonderful things, and all the wonderful people in our lives. Because we can.

~Steve

Time To Break Traditions

I realized this is the year we change the rules, break traditions… Nothing has really gone as planned since March, so its time not to follow our normal plan for the rest of the year… Time to break some traditions and make new…

I am such a tradition person, I love traditions… I have tried to pass many down to my kids…so, this year, my kids have been begging to put up the Christmas Decorations early.  I think they started even asking before Halloween.

Of course, I said “no way, we do not put up anything until the day after thanksgiving” in my mom voice.  That is the tradition and we do not change it.  Since I was a little girl, we always put up our decorations and tree the day after thanksgiving.  And yes, we all have that one friend that has always put her tree up in October and I would roll my eyes and think she was crazy…

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday….I love getting the newspaper with all the black friday ads (totally old school), along with watching the Macy’s day parade and the smell of the turkey in the oven….all that delicious food that I can not make.

The place cards sitting in front of each place setting, which were made many years ago that are full of spills and old gravy.  My kids sitting at the kid table putting the olives on their fingers and just eating buns with butter.   The Ham Pickle Roll Ups that no one can live without… My mom telling everyone that there is “No Football” on Thanksgiving.. She never wont that battle.  Its the kick off to the Holiday Season and I love that.

So this week, it really hit me hard  when my mom said we could not have Thanksgiving this year.  Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday.  Thanksgiving was cancelled, I was mad.  And at first, I was kind of mad at her…. How could she cancel thanksgiving…. And then I realized it was for the best.

But not getting together as a family, its just so sad, plus I might have to cook now.  I know lots of whining from me… But I am tired of trying to be ok with all these damn 2020 changes.

So, yesterday my daughter asked again, “can we please put up our Christmas decorations this weekend” and I started with my mom voice “NO…along with my normal rant about when we put them up” and then I stopped and said “yes, I guess we can”.  I mean, “ why not”.

I mean really why not…nothing is normal anymore this year… maybe its time to break traditions and start things new.  I feel like this Holiday Season should be just full of extra joy and happiness.  It’s like I want to turn our home into a Holiday Village with snow and twinkling little lights.

I know that I feel the heaviness of the unknown this year and I can tell my kids do also.  They do not understand all the changes in our plans and not being able to get together like in the past.  They are doing their best with it, but I think we are all just tired.

Easter, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Halloween, 1st Communion, Confirmation, many Birthdays and now Thanksgiving are all different.  There are no big family get togethers or celebrations.  And as much as I have gone with the flow and adapted, it really sucks.

So this year, we are starting our holiday decorations and celebrations early… I am breaking my golden rule and breaking the traditions.  It started this morning, with the holiday music and ordering another Christmas tree off amazon.  And we all decided to make Xmas cookies the day before thanksgiving. Another tradition that I just broke…

We might all be sick of it all by Christmas, but at least we can really enjoy the next 6 weeks.  And I want my kids to remember 2020 as the year we started new traditions…

 

-snarky

 

www.snarkydivorcedgal.com

The Hardest Time Of The Year

The Hardest Time Of The Year.

The countdown til the guy in the red suit is officially arrives is on.  It also means I must start planning on how I will spend my Christmas alone. I am working. As much as I can. It means tense emails and texts about where my daughter will be and with who.

Some of which has been dictated by a  judge and lawyers who don’t know us.

Some of the decisions I have caved to, to avoid a fight with my daughter’s Dad.

After almost nine years of this- at my daughter’s Grandpa’s urging I asked G what she wanted.

She is twelve. I feel like in the midst of thinking I was doing the right thing I did a lot of the wrong things over the years. She missed out. I should have fought harder for her to have more of a Christmas, instead of being so afraid of her Dad.

So … like I said, I asked her.

My girl is a diplomat. I think a lot of kids of divorced parents are. She insisted she hasn’t felt slighted, she enjoys Christmas but she has not waffled from what she wants either.

This year she wants Christmas Day at both our houses. I know I can manage it, but her Dad will put up a fight. He will have dates and times and examples. He will make threats. He will make this hard on me.

I will take it for my kiddo, and stand my ground. This time of year isn’t about me.

It’s about her. Like it is everyday all year long.

When I told her I would figure it out for her because it’s what she wanted, she smiled and grabbed my hand. Said” thanks Mom”, and gave me her twelve year old smirky smile that I live for.

That will be my  present over the next few weeks.

Being a Mom is tough. Being a Mom during the holidays can be downright bananas. It’s hard. But at the end of the day we have these amazing incredible humans who love us.

I am wishing you all so much joy and happiness over the next few weeks and into the next year.

<3 Caprise

Please Pass The Eggnog

Please pass the eggnog.

Holiday party season is in full swing. Which means I get grilled. You get grilled. There is not a single person at a holiday party,gathering or function who is safe except maybe someone’s Grammy. As she should be as she is a big part of why we are all gathered and typically in my experience brings the best baked goods.

Please pass the eggnog.

Sadly that’s not what this blog is about.

It’s about that uncomfortable questioning that comes each holiday season.

It makes me so uncomfortable my eczema flares up. This year I was hoping my flare was because of my new tattoo, but I’ve been going to the same guy for five years with no issues. Also, said ink is nowhere near my flare up location.

It was because I had a holiday work event with new people and I knew I would get questions about my plans for the holidays.

Which honestly is a perfectly acceptable thing to ask. It’s people’s reactions to my answers that can be tough.

At  this year’s gathering I was asked what I was doing for the holidays to which I said my family was visiting from the East Coast.

I then was asked if we spent time with my husband’s family.

No. I’m not married. Divorced.

Oh … you’re not married. Remarried?

No

Oh. Do you have a boyfriend.

Ummm… well kinda, it’s new so…

So just you and your daughter?

Well…

Oh that’s too bad.

Wait, wait, wait. First of all it’s not just me and my daughter. It’s her grandparents and aunt, uncles, cousins. AND even if it was just us, WHICH it has been many times we have traditions in place.

Like our gingerbread house that gets attacked by dinosaurs that we build every year no matter what. It gets attacked because frankly gingerbread houses are hard.

Cookie baking.

Hanging out in jammies all day on Christmas.

Going to a movie.

Pizza!

Yule log for breakfast!

My Christmas may not fit the mold but it’s mine and hers and even at what I thought was the hardest and worst she didn’t, and shame on me I shouldn’t have either because I had her.

At the end of the day as hard as it is to answer the questions and feel like it’s not perfect, remember and I believe Noelle sings a similar song on the regular… it’s about moments. It’s about time. It’s about each other.

I sometimes forget I have the best Christmas gift of all, she’s eleven, she’s almost taller than me and it does make me giggle that singing Jump Around at the top of my lungs embarrasses her a little.

In the meantime though, maybe pass me some eggnog with a little something extra in it.

Remember Mommas we got this and I got you.

Much love and Happy Holidays,

~~Caprise

Single Mom of the amazing Dbl G
Teacher
Sometime DJ
T-shirt collector
Henry Rollins Middle Aged Punk Prom Date

Find Gratitude During The Holidays

Happy holidays everyone!

This time of year can be stressful for many people.

Today I am grateful I am home with my family and not in the hospital. Yesterday I was in the hospital with pneumonia and a blood clot. Thankfully my body was breaking it down on its own, the doctors gave me some anticoagulant to help it along and gave me the green light late last night to go home.

Even our darkest moments can are usually are blessings in disguise, whether we see it or not just depends on our perspective

While I was in the hospital, I became very scared. It was a time of self reflection for me and I realized some reservations holding me back in my everyday life. The biggest scare of the year has helped me shed things I was unaware of and get back to being me. I am grateful to spend Christmas with my children, and that I am here another day. No more reservations or second guessing myself. I know who I am and what I need to do to keep moving forward, so that when the time comes ( albeit I hope not anytime soon) I can close my eyes with no regrets. Much love to you all!

Always be unapologetically true to yourself,

-Ali Heikke

Holiday Realness

I’m sitting writing something I wasn’t going to.

My sadness at being without G during the holidays.

It is the reality of being a single parent during the holidays. It’s a choice you make. It doesn’t make it any less hard.

On everybody.

Luckily we have gotten G to a place where she revels in multiple meals, knows Santa will find her and cherishes her different traditions.

Don’t get me wrong it’s not all lollipops and roses and my anxiety raises starting in October, because I know it means behind the scenes I have to start holiday negotiations and frankly it’s awful. It just is.

I try really hard to keep my chin up,but this year in particular I fell on my face. My chin dragged on the floor the minute I called her from my office to say goodbye. Knowing I wouldn’t see her for the next few days.

Truth bomb when she is here typically we are in the same room on our respective electronics, but she’s HERE.

It’s especially lonely when you’re alone. I don’t have anyone I go home to. OK, my golden doodle and while he is majestic…it’s not the same.

While at work I watched as the families are excited about plans with loved ones. Running errands at Target, families stuffing carts. At my favorite wine shop where I got two bottles of wine, couples making negotiations about how Thanksgiving is going to go.

So I wear a lot of waterproof mascara, try to stay away from social media and keep to myself.

Pro tip: maybe John Mayer’s song Stop this Train, while an absolutely beautiful song should be avoided. You may burst into tears. In you car. In the Target parking lot.

Here’s the thing, G needs time with her Dad and his family. It’s so important to have those traditions and I wouldn’t dream of taking that time away. But this is the same guy who lets her stay up late and thinks pizza is a food group. So I worry. I miss her. I get lonely. As much as people say the holidays are hard for people and be compassionate, when it’s in their face it isn’t as easy to deal with as they post on Facebook. Sadly those are things you find out as a single parent. Not everyone is here to hold your hand. Friendsgiving invites are few and far between.

I think it’s harder this year for me because she’s hitting an age where she needs me less. Which will DEFINITELY be a blog for another day.

I’m a pretty independent person but I’m human.

“I have a happy personality with a heavy soul. Sometimes it gets weird.”

However, I am lucky. I have some people I can reach out to. Which as a guarded girl I still struggle with. Here’s the thing being sad doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. So last night I poured a glass of wine, and chatted with one of my favorite fellow single Moms. I set some boundaries for myself. I had a good cry.

I snuggled with my majestic doodle. I let myself be sad.

The holidays are hard. Remember not everything is easy and that’s ok. You don’t have to be tough all the time. But maybe remember to let people in. Breathe. Share. I know it’s hard.

Let people love you. Let people hold your hand. Find the people you can chat with at 1030 at night who let you swear like a pirate, cry and make silly promises.

Give yourself a moment.

You got this Mama.

I believe in you.

~~Caprise

Single Mom of the amazing Dbl G
Teacher
Sometime DJ
T-shirt collector
Henry Rollins Middle Aged Punk Prom Date

The Candy Cane

The Legend of the Candy Cane…

I was raised in a family that practiced religion-rather strictly-which as I began to mature and become a young adult, I found it hard to continue and questioned my Faith repeatedly. I had a pretty crappy childhood and just had issues with why? I have discussed parts of my childhood before and am sure will discuss more at some point but I don’t want this to be about that today. Things have happened, life has happened-actually and I have come full circle in my Faith. I know that it’s not for everyone and I am ok with that. I am not a hardcore “bible thumper” or someone who attends church on a regular basis but I do believe and I do pray and am convinced in the power of prayer. I still have questions and I still get angry on occasions-which too is for a different day.

I have seen this poem referred to as “The Legend of the Candy Cane”-but I just like to call it, The Candy Cane Poem.  Although Snopes has discredited it being a legend, which is why I say poem, I just really enjoy the thought behind it.

Look at the Candy Cane
What do you see?
Stripes that are red
Like the blood shed for me
White is for my Savior
Who’s sinless and pure!
“J” is for Jesus My Lord, that’s for sure!
Turn it around
And a staff you will see
Jesus my shepherd
Was born for Me!

Merry Christmas and Love to All-

Kim

Bringing Light By Focusing On Good

This time of year is difficult for a lot of people and those of us that bring LIGHT must work overtime to help people keep focused on what is good…there is plenty of good out there, sometimes we just need to look harder to call it out.  as I am writing this I am seeing reports of an active shooter at Ohio State, so I ask your prayers for the people involved there.

As I said this morning on the FB page, I am going to post something here in the Daily Discussion from now until Christmas morning that will help us all to stay focused on what really matters this season.  At this time of year it is so easy to get freaked out about money, stressed out about not buying enough or being enough or doing enough and all too easy to become overwhelmed.  The REAL meaning of this season is about having Generous Hearts, it isn’t about what you can buy…it is about WHO you can BE and the blessing that you can BRING with your joy, laughter, love etc.  Gifts are lovely gestures, however giving of yourself to someone, selflessly and expecting nothing in return is so much more of a gift.

In December so many people are lonely and sad and afraid…some have no family, some have no money, some have no homes and some even have no food…those of us that have something, it is our job to share our love and our kindness with others.  In a world that has been extremely negative lately we must work hard this season to remind people of love and joy and Generous Hearts.  St. John of the Cross said that a Generous Heart will never go part way…and that is the truth.

Please don’t let yourself get freaked out and screwed up over how many gifts you can buy or if you can get everything done, instead look to see how you can contribute to people with an action or a kind word even a cup of coffee.  The gestures need not be huge, the smallest act of kindness WILL move mountains, it will also help you to calm down…when you are contributing to other people your own issues magically take care of themselves.

So stop and take a breath…yes the season has begun, however let’s make it a season like no other, let’s have this countdown to Christmas be an opportunity for us to shower people with JOY and give ourselves permission to do the best we can with what we have and allow that to be enough…you are enough, whatever you can give or do that is enough…it is about who you are, not what you buy…BE a blessing, BRING a blessing…see you tomorrow.  xoxoxo