Tag Archives: Christmas

Please Pass The Eggnog

Please pass the eggnog.

Holiday party season is in full swing. Which means I get grilled. You get grilled. There is not a single person at a holiday party,gathering or function who is safe except maybe someone’s Grammy. As she should be as she is a big part of why we are all gathered and typically in my experience brings the best baked goods.

Please pass the eggnog.

Sadly that’s not what this blog is about.

It’s about that uncomfortable questioning that comes each holiday season.

It makes me so uncomfortable my eczema flares up. This year I was hoping my flare was because of my new tattoo, but I’ve been going to the same guy for five years with no issues. Also, said ink is nowhere near my flare up location.

It was because I had a holiday work event with new people and I knew I would get questions about my plans for the holidays.

Which honestly is a perfectly acceptable thing to ask. It’s people’s reactions to my answers that can be tough.

At  this year’s gathering I was asked what I was doing for the holidays to which I said my family was visiting from the East Coast.

I then was asked if we spent time with my husband’s family.

No. I’m not married. Divorced.

Oh … you’re not married. Remarried?

No

Oh. Do you have a boyfriend.

Ummm… well kinda, it’s new so…

So just you and your daughter?

Well…

Oh that’s too bad.

Wait, wait, wait. First of all it’s not just me and my daughter. It’s her grandparents and aunt, uncles, cousins. AND even if it was just us, WHICH it has been many times we have traditions in place.

Like our gingerbread house that gets attacked by dinosaurs that we build every year no matter what. It gets attacked because frankly gingerbread houses are hard.

Cookie baking.

Hanging out in jammies all day on Christmas.

Going to a movie.

Pizza!

Yule log for breakfast!

My Christmas may not fit the mold but it’s mine and hers and even at what I thought was the hardest and worst she didn’t, and shame on me I shouldn’t have either because I had her.

At the end of the day as hard as it is to answer the questions and feel like it’s not perfect, remember and I believe Noelle sings a similar song on the regular… it’s about moments. It’s about time. It’s about each other.

I sometimes forget I have the best Christmas gift of all, she’s eleven, she’s almost taller than me and it does make me giggle that singing Jump Around at the top of my lungs embarrasses her a little.

In the meantime though, maybe pass me some eggnog with a little something extra in it.

Remember Mommas we got this and I got you.

Much love and Happy Holidays,

~~Caprise

Single Mom of the amazing Dbl G
Teacher
Sometime DJ
T-shirt collector
Henry Rollins Middle Aged Punk Prom Date

Find Gratitude During The Holidays

Happy holidays everyone!

This time of year can be stressful for many people.

Today I am grateful I am home with my family and not in the hospital. Yesterday I was in the hospital with pneumonia and a blood clot. Thankfully my body was breaking it down on its own, the doctors gave me some anticoagulant to help it along and gave me the green light late last night to go home.

Even our darkest moments can are usually are blessings in disguise, whether we see it or not just depends on our perspective

While I was in the hospital, I became very scared. It was a time of self reflection for me and I realized some reservations holding me back in my everyday life. The biggest scare of the year has helped me shed things I was unaware of and get back to being me. I am grateful to spend Christmas with my children, and that I am here another day. No more reservations or second guessing myself. I know who I am and what I need to do to keep moving forward, so that when the time comes ( albeit I hope not anytime soon) I can close my eyes with no regrets. Much love to you all!

Always be unapologetically true to yourself,

-Ali Heikke

Holiday Realness

I’m sitting writing something I wasn’t going to.

My sadness at being without G during the holidays.

It is the reality of being a single parent during the holidays. It’s a choice you make. It doesn’t make it any less hard.

On everybody.

Luckily we have gotten G to a place where she revels in multiple meals, knows Santa will find her and cherishes her different traditions.

Don’t get me wrong it’s not all lollipops and roses and my anxiety raises starting in October, because I know it means behind the scenes I have to start holiday negotiations and frankly it’s awful. It just is.

I try really hard to keep my chin up,but this year in particular I fell on my face. My chin dragged on the floor the minute I called her from my office to say goodbye. Knowing I wouldn’t see her for the next few days.

Truth bomb when she is here typically we are in the same room on our respective electronics, but she’s HERE.

It’s especially lonely when you’re alone. I don’t have anyone I go home to. OK, my golden doodle and while he is majestic…it’s not the same.

While at work I watched as the families are excited about plans with loved ones. Running errands at Target, families stuffing carts. At my favorite wine shop where I got two bottles of wine, couples making negotiations about how Thanksgiving is going to go.

So I wear a lot of waterproof mascara, try to stay away from social media and keep to myself.

Pro tip: maybe John Mayer’s song Stop this Train, while an absolutely beautiful song should be avoided. You may burst into tears. In you car. In the Target parking lot.

Here’s the thing, G needs time with her Dad and his family. It’s so important to have those traditions and I wouldn’t dream of taking that time away. But this is the same guy who lets her stay up late and thinks pizza is a food group. So I worry. I miss her. I get lonely. As much as people say the holidays are hard for people and be compassionate, when it’s in their face it isn’t as easy to deal with as they post on Facebook. Sadly those are things you find out as a single parent. Not everyone is here to hold your hand. Friendsgiving invites are few and far between.

I think it’s harder this year for me because she’s hitting an age where she needs me less. Which will DEFINITELY be a blog for another day.

I’m a pretty independent person but I’m human.

“I have a happy personality with a heavy soul. Sometimes it gets weird.”

However, I am lucky. I have some people I can reach out to. Which as a guarded girl I still struggle with. Here’s the thing being sad doesn’t make you weak, it makes you human. So last night I poured a glass of wine, and chatted with one of my favorite fellow single Moms. I set some boundaries for myself. I had a good cry.

I snuggled with my majestic doodle. I let myself be sad.

The holidays are hard. Remember not everything is easy and that’s ok. You don’t have to be tough all the time. But maybe remember to let people in. Breathe. Share. I know it’s hard.

Let people love you. Let people hold your hand. Find the people you can chat with at 1030 at night who let you swear like a pirate, cry and make silly promises.

Give yourself a moment.

You got this Mama.

I believe in you.

~~Caprise

Single Mom of the amazing Dbl G
Teacher
Sometime DJ
T-shirt collector
Henry Rollins Middle Aged Punk Prom Date

The Candy Cane

The Legend of the Candy Cane…

I was raised in a family that practiced religion-rather strictly-which as I began to mature and become a young adult, I found it hard to continue and questioned my Faith repeatedly. I had a pretty crappy childhood and just had issues with why? I have discussed parts of my childhood before and am sure will discuss more at some point but I don’t want this to be about that today. Things have happened, life has happened-actually and I have come full circle in my Faith. I know that it’s not for everyone and I am ok with that. I am not a hardcore “bible thumper” or someone who attends church on a regular basis but I do believe and I do pray and am convinced in the power of prayer. I still have questions and I still get angry on occasions-which too is for a different day.

I have seen this poem referred to as “The Legend of the Candy Cane”-but I just like to call it, The Candy Cane Poem.  Although Snopes has discredited it being a legend, which is why I say poem, I just really enjoy the thought behind it.

Look at the Candy Cane
What do you see?
Stripes that are red
Like the blood shed for me
White is for my Savior
Who’s sinless and pure!
“J” is for Jesus My Lord, that’s for sure!
Turn it around
And a staff you will see
Jesus my shepherd
Was born for Me!

Merry Christmas and Love to All-

Kim

Bringing Light By Focusing On Good

This time of year is difficult for a lot of people and those of us that bring LIGHT must work overtime to help people keep focused on what is good…there is plenty of good out there, sometimes we just need to look harder to call it out.  as I am writing this I am seeing reports of an active shooter at Ohio State, so I ask your prayers for the people involved there.

As I said this morning on the FB page, I am going to post something here in the Daily Discussion from now until Christmas morning that will help us all to stay focused on what really matters this season.  At this time of year it is so easy to get freaked out about money, stressed out about not buying enough or being enough or doing enough and all too easy to become overwhelmed.  The REAL meaning of this season is about having Generous Hearts, it isn’t about what you can buy…it is about WHO you can BE and the blessing that you can BRING with your joy, laughter, love etc.  Gifts are lovely gestures, however giving of yourself to someone, selflessly and expecting nothing in return is so much more of a gift.

In December so many people are lonely and sad and afraid…some have no family, some have no money, some have no homes and some even have no food…those of us that have something, it is our job to share our love and our kindness with others.  In a world that has been extremely negative lately we must work hard this season to remind people of love and joy and Generous Hearts.  St. John of the Cross said that a Generous Heart will never go part way…and that is the truth.

Please don’t let yourself get freaked out and screwed up over how many gifts you can buy or if you can get everything done, instead look to see how you can contribute to people with an action or a kind word even a cup of coffee.  The gestures need not be huge, the smallest act of kindness WILL move mountains, it will also help you to calm down…when you are contributing to other people your own issues magically take care of themselves.

So stop and take a breath…yes the season has begun, however let’s make it a season like no other, let’s have this countdown to Christmas be an opportunity for us to shower people with JOY and give ourselves permission to do the best we can with what we have and allow that to be enough…you are enough, whatever you can give or do that is enough…it is about who you are, not what you buy…BE a blessing, BRING a blessing…see you tomorrow.  xoxoxo