The Hardest Time Of The Year.
The countdown til the guy in the red suit is officially arrives is on. It also means I must start planning on how I will spend my Christmas alone. I am working. As much as I can. It means tense emails and texts about where my daughter will be and with who.
Some of which has been dictated by a judge and lawyers who don’t know us.
Some of the decisions I have caved to, to avoid a fight with my daughter’s Dad.
After almost nine years of this- at my daughter’s Grandpa’s urging I asked G what she wanted.
She is twelve. I feel like in the midst of thinking I was doing the right thing I did a lot of the wrong things over the years. She missed out. I should have fought harder for her to have more of a Christmas, instead of being so afraid of her Dad.
So … like I said, I asked her.
My girl is a diplomat. I think a lot of kids of divorced parents are. She insisted she hasn’t felt slighted, she enjoys Christmas but she has not waffled from what she wants either.
This year she wants Christmas Day at both our houses. I know I can manage it, but her Dad will put up a fight. He will have dates and times and examples. He will make threats. He will make this hard on me.
I will take it for my kiddo, and stand my ground. This time of year isn’t about me.
It’s about her. Like it is everyday all year long.
When I told her I would figure it out for her because it’s what she wanted, she smiled and grabbed my hand. Said” thanks Mom”, and gave me her twelve year old smirky smile that I live for.
That will be my present over the next few weeks.
Being a Mom is tough. Being a Mom during the holidays can be downright bananas. It’s hard. But at the end of the day we have these amazing incredible humans who love us.
I am wishing you all so much joy and happiness over the next few weeks and into the next year.