Tag Archives: career

Taking The Leap-Making The Hard Decisions

I have such a hard time making the hard decisions…things like..Is it a jean or legging kind of day… or do I have nachos or ice cream are easy to make… but a life changing decision…not so much. 

I have realized that I am an over thinker.  I have to think everything through over and over… and most of the time I am looking for a sign to just tell me what to do.  It never seems to happen… And then I over analyze it over and over again.  But once I make that decision, I know.  And by the time I actually tell someone, I am 100% behind my decision.  And then there is no turning back.  

The last couple of weeks I have had to make a hard decision that would change my life in many ways.  I had to decide if I was ready to leave my current job.  And it was not just my job, but I would be starting a new career in a new industry.  And I have worked in my current industry for about 26 years…Yikes!!  

But I have known for awhile now that this is not where I want to be.. I have many working years left in my life.  And I want to feel that passion again in what I do.  

I had started to make it a priority in the last year.  I spent time devoted to researching different careers that were easily transferrable.  I spent time updating my resume to fit into a new role.  I researched different job titles and qualifications that I wanted and what I needed to get a job in that industry.  And I spent 3 months doing volunteer training so I would gain some knowledge of the actual industry.  

And I spent time doing deep soul searching on what I really wanted to do.  I had to think about what really makes me feel good and what I wanted from a career.   What was important to me…And I spent time praying and writing down what was important.  Having lots of faith that I would actually figure it all out.  Plus I have so many years left to work.. 

And then it happened… but then I had to decide if I was ready to make the leap…  All I could think about for the last few months, was starting something new… and now it was almost here in front of me…But then reality sinks in and I started to doubt myself… and wonder how it would all work out.  It’s amazing how fast the doubts get into your head and take over.  

Was I ready for this change? Or should I just stay where I was?  Would my kids be ready for a new schedule? I had been working from home for almost a year, would they adapt to my new schedule? Would I be able to work it out with my ex husband? Would the money be enough? And benefits? And vacation?  All those questions kept popping in my head…over and over again…

But I had to stop… stop doubting myself.  And not overthink everything.  I had to go with what I felt and what I had worked hard for over the last year.  I had to stop over analyzing all of the “what if’s”.

I needed to feel like I was accomplishing something again in my career. I needed to feel like I had a purpose in my job.  I had lost that over the last couple years and it was just a job.  This was important to me. I wanted to start something new and take that chance.  If it didn’t work out, then so be it.  But I knew that I needed to try something new.  Take the leap…

I know it will be an adjustment for us all.  My kids are used to me being around a lot and they will now need to be more independent.  They are really used to me being able to drive them everywhere.  They would have to help me with more.  I will probably ask more from them.  

And then when I told my kids, it seemed like it was no big deal to them. They were like, “sure mom we can help you.  Now them saying it and them doing it is actually two different things…That’s the funny thing about kids.. The things we worry about as parents, sometimes doesn’t even worry them…but just hearing them say that , makes it feel so much better.  

But I also know that this is just an adjustment period…it’s the scary unknown period that we will get through together.  We would get through this together…

 

-Snarky 

www.snarkydivorcedgal.com

Jude Barry

This middle aged single mom of four is on fire for living life large.  There’s a whole lot of joy, positivity & exhuberance for life going on in this woman!

Jude lives on the East Coast with her 4 kiddos and if she’s not spending quality time with them, she’s either traveling, enjoying her gaggle of girlfriends or working.  Working hard. 🙂

Yes…. her work. It is what allows her to take care of her children, decorate her home and travel abroad.  She is happy with her career, is going on her 19th year and is the happiest while serving her clients.  Her pride in being an insurance agent shines through as she truly cares about each and every client.  They appreciate her honesty & knowledge. There are times when a new customer who is shopping around will call her with a policy they want a quote on and after a heart-full conversation about their why’s and how’s & qualifying reasons, she then gives her ‘Best For You’ options… and they walk away a very satisfied new client.  

She’s one of those gals who shoots from the hip, tells it like it is and looks to speak her truth.  It’s her authenticity & engaging personality that draw you in.  And then it’s her caring soul, listening ear and inquisitive manner that keep you there.  “My friends say I have no strangers,” she says as she laughs at the thought of how truthful it is.   This can come across as ‘too nice’ sometimes, but she doesn’t seem to flutter at the thought of it.  

When Jude went down the road of divorce, she reached out to friends and faithful clients for prayers.  This was one of the toughest times for her.  Not only did it teach her some valuable lessons she’d never change, it showed the people in her life this woman who rocks it every day….it showed them her real, raw, vulnerable side.  This woman who pressed on with a glowing spirit was doing all she could to get through and it touched lives! This truth changed relationships for the best.

Speaking of ‘the best’ is is important for Jude to live her best life every day.  Taking what was taught to her & teaching her children.  THIS is what fills her cup.  Her tea cup that is.  Tea is part of her brand, part of who she is and adds a touch of class to her business logo. The tea cup & the tea leaves have deep meaning to her, as well as the name of her company “ Benefits Caring for You”, which names her 4 children.  She enjoys teaching them all that she does and how she does it.  Maybe one day one of them will be that colleague she is looking to hire.  One with drive, integrity, energy and willingness to work hard.

Jude shares her enthusiasm for life with the people she meets as much as she can.  Going out into the world with her vibe of positive energy, touching people lives with compassion & caring.  She’ll stop and give a compliment or ask a question in hopes to make their day.  She looks forward to making others feel like they matter.  She knows firsthand from all she’s been through that ‘The Energy You Put Out is the Energy You Will Attract.’  This is one of the reminders that drives her.

Her children know by watching their amazing mom what really matters.  Relationships, how you treat people & the footprint you leave behind.  For Jude, it’s her clients, accounts, family & God that give her reason to express gratitude for all she has.  In those moments this go-getter is joyfully reminded just how blessed she is.

When I Grow Up

When i grow up….

Driving to work I have the opportunity to listen to my favorite radio station every morning. As with all radio stations they usually have a topic for discussion . This morning’s topic was “when you were young what did you want to be when you grew up and did you achieve that?” So of course I immediately thought of what I had always wanted to be when I was younger (a marine biologist- an amazingly cool career ) and then became somewhat sad because I did not achieve that (from that to dental office manager). Life just doesn’t work out how we want it to sometimes. And as I sat there and reflected on that, I became somewhat sad, thinking not achieving that always made me feel a little bit of a failure. Maybe many others were doing the same thing at that moment. Then a thought crossed my mind. What if when we were children instead of desiring or having the hopes to become a marine biologist, doctor, a lawyer, an accountant, electrician, etc., we said to ourselves “when I grow up I want to be kind”. I wondered if we thought that and if we all really tried to achieve that instead of thinking about a status or the money that something will bring in, we only wanted to be the best version of ourselves. Now of course there’s absolutely nothing wrong with doctors and lawyers and such. We need them of course. And those are smart, amazing helpful people. And I thank God they are here for us. We all need a job to bring in some money to pay our bills and to enjoy some things in life. But kindness is a choice isn’t it? Some people have more of it in them and some people maybe a reminder wouldn’t hurt. But if we thought as children “I want to be a kind grown-up” wouldn’t the world be a much better place? Wouldn’t we be better people? If we grew up striving to be kind not only to others but to ourselves? Content with ourselves and not so critical. No bullying, that’s for sure because if we grew up wanting to be kind we would pass that on to our children, how could we not?

I believe I have a kind heart but there are days that I am disappointed in myself thinking where did the kindness go? Why didn’t you take that opportunity to be a better person? To be kinder? It doesn’t take any money or any status to smile at a stranger, to not be bothered by a person going a little bit slower on the road than you would like, to take somebody’s grocery cart back for them, to go out of your way to talk to someone that you normally wouldn’t, and not be bothered by every little thing. I am going to work on all of those things and I’m going to encourage my children to do so as well. Because, well there are a lot of good people and kindness but we can always have a little bit more of it don’t you think? And I can start with myself, because I still have growing to do in many ways. And I really hope that question comes back on the radio someday so I can call in and I can say when I grow up “I just want to be kind”.

`“Wine (or whine) in the tub”

(I realized that a little glass of wine in the bathtub helps sometimes. You can decompress, cry, recuperate without an audience.. and you can whine to yourself as much as you want, then get out and you’re ready to take on the world again)

A Married Stay At Home Mom To A Working Single Mom

I never would’ve thought I’d be a single working mom if you’d asked me ten years ago. When I got married at the age 28, I thought I’d almost ridden out my “troubling 20’s” and was proud of myself for waiting until I was almost 30 to get married. I thought I had life pretty much figured out; I’d get married to this wonderful man, (13 years my senior), and he would make me happy……….boy was I wrong! 

We got married on Friday, October 13th, in the year 2000 on a cliff in Maui, Hawaii. Right as my dad started to walk me down the aisle, a gray storm cloud was overhead, and it started to drizzle rain. The preacher assured me that the rain meant we’d be fertile. Ironically, we went through IVF to conceive our twin girls in 2002! We made the decision that I would be a stay at home mom. It was a dream come true, or so I thought. 

In April 2003, my mother died after battling cancer since my wedding in 2000. I sank into a deep, dark hole of depression. We welcomed our third daughter on February 23, 2005. I had three beautiful daughters that I was so fortunate to get to stay home with, right? Wrong! With nowhere to be if I didn’t want to, I felt I had no purpose in life other than to care for my children. My marriage began to suffer around 8 years in. In hindsight though, it was never going to survive. Our marriage ended in 2012. 

I had gone back to work teaching preschool 16 hours a week, but I had no benefits and was making very little pay. My ex husband and I couldn’t afford to each buy a home so we lived together post divorce for about 4 months. I know it sounds crazy, but we had to do what we had to do. It was not a healthy thing to do, that is for sure. 

So here I was, a well educated woman with a college degree, but couldn’t find a job to save my life. Being out of the workforce for so many years left me unmarketable. I managed to get a job as a paraprofessional in the school system where I had benefits, but still very low income. I bought my own home as well. With my job plus child support, we were barely getting by, but we were making it!!!! I have since gotten a better paying job, but then got served papers for a modification of child support. Ugh.

Although I have a decent job, it’s not what I had in mind as far as fulfillment goes. I go through the motions, but still have a goal of doing more meaningful work.  I have a passion for helping single women, hence me writing this blog to The Working Single Mom. 

Single moms, you ROCK! 

Karen

You Are More, You Are A Rockstar

You are more, you ARE a rockstar!

Over Memorial Day weekend I did something I think a lot of people in my life didn’t think I could do.

I traveled across the country by myself. I had a working vacation.

My vacation running a music stage for three days at a festival in Napa Valley.

I made sure the musicians got what they needed, got on and off the stage, all communication came through me. I knew one person. I had no car. It was a huge adventure.

The last trip I took my daughter was two and a half and was with my ex husband it was our five year anniversary trip to Jamaica. It was three months after we had started talking about splitting up.

Needless to say not a great trip.

After that my trips have been limited to family vacations. Work trips where there are always colleagues along. But nothing like this.

I think sometimes when you become a Mom people forget you are more than just a Mom.

It’s easy to assume because your life has changed maybe there are certain things you can’t handle.

People forget when you made the decision to leave you had to handle a whole lot.

That even now you handle a whole lot.

People sometimes assume because you don’t wear everything out on your sleeve, running around with rockstars is not something a Mom could do.

Some would say should do.

My biggest cheerleader was the one who got me the job. He has known me since I was in college. He has seen my ups and downs. He knows I’m not easily fazed. Also, as he put it since I work with children regularly and am a Mom this would be in my wheelhouse.

My point in all of this… you are more than the greatest job on the world. In fact because of that job let’s just be honest, you can handle a WHOLE lot.

Even a DJ’s assistant getting crabby because a band who had been going nonstop didn’t autograph a poster.

Or your daughter kicking you out of the bathroom mid hair dry.

Either or.

You a superstars.

Let’s call it- you’re rockstars!

Much love Mommas

<3 Caprise