In 25 days I turn 50. I decided that was worth talking to you about this morning…at the moment the self-loathing is at an all-time high because there are some things that are not the way I wanted them to be for my 50th birthday. It’s been a hard year, in April 2017 I left the corporate world as most of you know and by doing so I cut my income by about 2/3 and my expenses stayed the same:) My decision there was based on the fact that I wanted to work for myself again doing the things that I felt mattered or at least, perhaps helping to leave the world better than I found it. Although still happy with my decision the economic consequences have been a trial of their own, couple that with the fact that I intended to weigh ten pounds less than I currently do and you can begin to see how the self-loathing is making so much noise today…copious amounts of coffee is helping to dull the chatter…and of course writing to you guys always helps…
So, when one reflects on the first 50 years of their life they may ask themselves questions such as—what is the biggest misstep that I have made?
My answer to that is not understanding my worth, I have discovered over the last decade just how much havoc a low self-worth can wreak…let’s embellish on that a bit…
Had I really possessed any self-worth when I was much younger I would have made every decision differently…growing up in an amazing yet highly dysfunctional family that drank way too much was not a recipe for developing a high self-worth quotient and in retrospect it clouded every, single move I made until I was in my mid-40’s. If you don’t value yourself you will accept things that you shouldn’t, take actions that don’t take care of YOU and make decisions to please and accommodate other people. You will also devalue yourself in the workplace and teach others to do the same because of course how can we expect anyone to treat us better than we treat ourselves?
Over time and especially within the last year I have come to understand at a much deeper level what it means to realize my own worth both as a woman and as a professional also as a human being. In the last year I have been surprised by people in good ways and in bad ways and I have learned so much.
Not being one for regrets and firmly believing that there are no mistakes, I am determined to face this birthday with GRACE and GRATITUDE…the next few blogs from me will showcase more lessons learned in the last 50…my intention is, as always, that my experiences may some how give you strength or shine a light on something that you need to see. You are always welcome to comment or email me. XOXO