Tag Archives: battle

Battle Unicorn

Battle Unicorn….I woke up this morning with the Beatles song Blackbird in my head. I can’t share too much here because of licensing. But the lyric “ take these broken wings and learn to fly…” They are on repeat in my head.

I had about three blogs all set to write.

More about my daughter.

A fluffy one about how I am resisting the urge to cut my hair.

A personal one about how I am trying to maintain my relationship while having to stay home.

Instead I woke up to news my city is on a curfew. Our downtown had 75 businesses torn up.

I can’t speak to much. I don’t know that I should. But I am exhausted.

My heart is broken in a million pieces.

I have said throughout all of this people will show who they are, to believe them.

I have also said we have an opportunity to show people who we are.

This morning I was all set to wallow in this. 2020 is truly the year that can be tucked away in the suitcase I like to reference that holds my troubles and heartbreaks. The one I slide under my bed.

This is bigger than that.

I would like to think I am bigger than that.

I am a teacher by trade. Four year olds. I was until the virus. I was actually in the midst of switching careers but for almost fourteen years I have spent time with four year olds.

They are pretty smart cookies, four year olds.

They also have absolutely no filter.

They love with their whole heart.

Negotiating with a four year old is pretty cut and dry.

They judge you off of how you treat them. Period.

Nothing else.

I worked in Human Resources for a long time and quit to work with kids. When people would ask me why I would say less BS.

I still feel that way.

Four year olds could teach us a lot.

I have two lessons they taught me.

The first is not from my group, but rather an article I read about the unique names children give animals.

I love Rhinos. Apparently a four year old somewhere in the universe decided they are actually Battle Unicorns.

The explanation is pretty detailed but I fell in love with that.

The fact that a Rhino could be something so beautiful and majestic. Pretty fantastic.

I even have it on a T-shirt,

The second lesson was from my kids.

We were reading a story together.

They were all snuggled into me.

My kids came from all backgrounds. All cultures.

What they had in common was me as their teacher and being four.

The book was about family.

We finished and were talking.

As we did.

I was informed that several of them were indeed sisters and brothers too.

They lived together and had slumber parties and watched Frozen.

I told them I’m pretty lucky to be teaching such a big family.

I was informed I could be the big sister if I wanted to be.

Extra credit for that by the way.

My point on sharing this…

I am sad and angry and there are days I want to wrap up in a blanket and cry.

A lot lately if I am being honest.

But my Battle Unicorns taught me better than that.

They taught me to love with my whole heart.

Take people for how they treat you.

I will however be using a filter.

Be safe.

Much love Mommas.

<3 Caprise

Duct Tape, Bubble Gum and Waterproof Mascara

Duct Tape, Bubble Gum and Waterproof Mascara…

I want to sit here and write this blog and tell you everything is fine. Because I had promised myself that moving into this year I wouldn’t let anything get me down.

I wouldn’t get bogged down by things I can’t control. It’s March and the Universe has decided to see how much I can handle in the new year.

My finances have tanked. We will leave it at that. I truly am on the verge of losing my job. We will leave it at that.

My circle of friends that I can share this with is there, but they are all dealing with their own stuff and I don’t want to be that friend.

Throw in all the things that start to come with feeling down you start to pick yourself apart. You start to believe the negative talk. You start to compare yourself to others.

You start to do the very thing you promised you wouldn’t do.

I have said this before and I will say it again, the irony is not lost on me that I encourage others to be strong, brave, believe in themselves. That when people describe me it is kind, caring, and confident. Yet those are things I struggle to find in myself.

Everyday is a battle.

I am thankful that I do a good job hiding it or at least holding it down, I don’t want my daughter to lose her voice or not have one because I can’t find mine.

I am thankful that I am good at saying I’m ok when maybe I’m not, but am able later to pull myself together to talk it out.

I am thankful for recognizing I need a therapist. I know that may seem weird to say but I am. It was a scary thing to decide. It’s a scarier thing to share.

But everyday is a struggle. Right now more than ever. I am almost fifty and my life is not where I thought it should be. Not for lack of trying. I feel like I just got one piece of my life straightened out another piece gets taken away.

So here I sit trying to do the best I can. For myself. My daughter. I’m currently holding it together with duct tape, bubble gum and waterproof mascara.

Cause as you know Mommas that’s what we do.

Sending you love, if you need it I have an industrial package of duct tape, I will always share my gum and recommend a solid mascara.

Much love Mommas,

Caprise

Battles In Every Day

Battles. There are battles every day for you to face. The most powerful one is the battle in your mind. You could be happy one minute and sad the next. Joyful one and mad the next. On track one minute and falling apart the next. AND…. there may not be any rhyme or reason as to why except- it just is.

Can you see it coming? Can you feel it as it’s showing up? Can you name it and claim it and do something about it? That’s the key. Can you do something about it? With God you can for sure!

Then the next questions is, do you want to? Do you want to live for your higher purpose? Do you want to live the life God has planned out for you? Do you want to take on the Battle in your mind and make it right?

The enemy is sly. And a liar. So you’ve got to ask yourself, why on earth are you listening to that!!!? Jesus has more power in His baby finger than satan has in his whole army. Seriously! The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy and God came so that You may LIVE. So the next time there SEEMS to be a battle going on, remember you have on the armour of God and NOTHING can penetrate that.

My WORST day with Him is far better than my BEST day without Him.

My goal is to finish what God started.

Do what’s right even when life isn’t right.

Not only saved from something but saved for something

Created by God, Built for a purpose

Where are you looking?

“The grass is always greener on the other side, but it still needs to be mowed.”

Your God Girl,

Tracy xoxo

Choose Your Battles

Choose Your Battles
Choose your battles. Have any of you heard this before? This is by far the best advice I have ever received. It came from my mama! She has said it so many times to me that I am finally starting to see exactly what she meant.
I am learning to choose mine. Your 3-year-old wearing 2 shirts with one of them on backwards is not a battle worth fighting. He is dressed, he is clean, and he is happy (for the moment)! Hearing the two older kids argue about what song they want to listen to on the radio on the way to school is not a battle worth fighting. We will not listen to the radio at all! Trying to make someone understand your feelings when all they do is mock them is not a battle worth fighting.
Your feelings are valid. They are real.
Responding to negative posts about you that are posted on social media is not a battle worth fighting.
We don’t always have to win. We don’t always have to have the last word…as hard as it may be!
Let me tell you what battles are worth fighting. Fighting for what is right. Fighting for a happy life after living in a marriage that only brought you pain and frustration. Fighting for yourself and your children because no one is going to do it for you. Fighting to make sure that your children have the life they deserve even though that life isn’t what you planned. Fighting to look at the good instead of the bad! That is a tough one! These are the battles that really matter!
It is so easy to get caught up in the little conflicts that occur daily. It is so easy to focus on them and then lose sight of the bigger battles. I still focus on the wrong battles sometimes. I am only human! Putting my energy into the battles that really matter though has made a huge difference!
So choose your battles wisely friends!
-Ann

Choosing My Battles

Choosing my battles has always been a difficult task for me. I am suppose to write today about my top 3 pet peeves. Problem is, long time ago, I gave up what I would refer to as pet peeves, I chose my battles.  Pet peeves to me are things like, chewing with your mouth open, chewing loudly, my son’s dirty socks 2″ from the laundry basket, my daughter’s floor carpeted with clothing, and so on. I spent a lot of days irritated by pet peeves, sweating the small stuff and when it was time for me to wind down for the night I would be so strung tight with annoyances through the day that I couldn’t even relax.

Now-don’t get me wrong, I still get irritated by pet peeves but I have trained myself to think “Do those things really matter at the end of the day?” And if the answer is No- then I have chosen my battle.  Life is too short to be irritated by those things-and yes it’s super annoying and irritating. I have a close friend who has lost a child at an early age and I can guarantee with everything that I am she would give ANYTHING for her child to sit at the table and chew loudly with their mouth open while leaving his socks 2″ away from the laundry basket, while everyone stomped through his clothing on the floor. She doesn’t get that chance, ever again. So I refuse to spend my days irritated by pet peeves and the small things. I chose my battles in all aspects in my life.

Love to All-Kim