Tag Archives: Apps

No Filter

I turned 48 in November. As I do every year I made myself a promise.

This would be the year of no filter.

I started simply. I removed Snapchat and any photo editing apps from my electronics.

When I did take a picture I added a cheeky caption- “me in my bathroom while my child is getting ready for bed.”

Surprisingly my friends were into it.

I also did this in a response to strengthen my confidence. I still struggle. I am not going to tell you I don’t. I am not a size five. I just cut my hair off and I’m covered in tattoos. I am not the stereotype of what sometimes our world tells us is attractive.

And I know I’ve sang this song before, but sometimes there will be a wobble and I need a reminder.

I also have a daughter. What am I saying to her by editing my photos before posting them? It’s one thing to not post a photo because my eyes are closed or maybe my smile is a bit goofy. But to change it to the point I don’t look like me.

I can’t show her that.

Although, I do like the filter that puts tacos around my head.

There is a great quote “in a society that profits from self doubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.”

Every week I write these blogs encouraging you all to love yourselves meanwhile I’m struggling.

That’s my secret to share in this year of no filter.

I am a fabulous cheerleader for others.

Me- I need to work on.

So with each picture I post in color, without a fun Snapchat filter, I’m learning to love the freckled, wrinkled face staring back at me.

Look Mommas if you dig the animal ears, you do you. Seriously. But you are gorgeous with or without those ears.

<3 Caprise

Don’t Let Dating Burn You Out

I have been divorced for almost 6 years and single for over two, if you get what I mean. After my last relationship I took a yearlong break from men, and what I literally mean by that is no dates, no random sex, the celibate life (well, except for some self-care, don’t judge, a woman has needs!!!)

People always say work on yourself, when you are happy alone, you’ll be ready to be with someone. So after the year, I was calm and happy so I decided to jump back in.

As a divorced woman with children and a full time job, is no lie that time is very limited. Since most my friends are married and none of them are jumping to introduce me to anyone, I had to turn into dating apps to find that special someone.

I have tried virtually every app out there, which I can compare and contrast for you next time. I honestly had to sit down last night to figure out how many first dates I have gone on, and how many turned into a second or third. I have to sadly report that my batting average is pretty low and for sure none have turned into a relationship.

I’ve tried dating older, my age, good looking, not so good looking, being flexible with my “must haves”. The end result is the same, I’ve struck out and I’m out.

So, I have decided to go back to my single “semi” celibate life. Call me a quitter, but a player needs to be able to know when to retire.

So for all of you still looking for “the one”, I give you some pointers so you don’t get burned out like I did:

Set a time to look at the apps – Looking at these apps can literally turn into a full time job ugh. Looking at profiles, messaging people, etc. It can also become addicting. Set a time to just do that once a day and then stop and live.

Date more than one guy at a time – I know for some of us that seems weird, but the truth is, until you are exclusive, men are probably doing the same. Also, this helps not to become so obsessed with one person and know that there are other interested men out there, he is got competition 😉

Do not be result oriented – This is a really hard one for me. I’m a successful career woman and I got there by setting goals and working towards them.  Dating does not work that way, trust me. So just meet these people and have fun and don’t fantasize about the future. If you start
putting milestones on your dating, you will not enjoy the experience.

Next time I will follow my own advice as I do believe dating can be fun, however for now I am going to bench myself for this season, perhaps I am not ready to retire after all.

See you in the trenches,


Tinder Loving Care-Ten Things Tinder Taught Me



P. Charlotte Lindsay

Single mom, writer, and community service maven seeks kind, compassionate, intelligent, funny man, steady in his life – to exchange witty banter, clever repartee, and perhaps see where it leads. Tall is a plus. I’m 5’11”.”

P. Charlotte’s Blurb



It was a dire situation. Desperate even.

After fourteen years of marriage, commitment, hard work, and all things housewifely, I found out my man had another woman… for fourteen years.

BAM! All at once, I was single again.

After another year or three of crying about it, my friends, my family, even my children told me, “Enough! Time to move on.”

Problem was, I was a 45-­year­-old single mother of two who worked full-time. Not the best catch in LA’s sea of nubile young models and taught, budding actresses. Even worse, I had been on maybe a total of ten dates my entire life. You could count the number of men I’d slept with on three fingers.

Did I mention I was 45 and a single mom?

Nevertheless, one night my friend Peggy plied me with margaritas, teased my hair, painted my face, and dressed me up in all sorts of ‘so­ not­ me outfits.’ She took sexy pics, intellectual pics, and the requisite “sporty” pic. She fiddled at the computer, with my Facebook account, tinkered with my I-phone, and voilá – I was on Tinder.

Tinder is an “app.”

app |ap| noun

1. Abbreviation for “application.”

2. A small program that can be downloaded onto your phone with the help of a Peggy.

…And maybe the greatest invention of the 21st century, wherein with just a cell phone and the swipe of a finger, a 45-year-old woman can get a date… better yet, a 45-year-old single mom can get laid. (If that’s what she’s looking for).

At the time, I did not want to get laid.

I wanted to feel like a person again. Not a mom, or a broken heart. Not dog­-walker, or housekeeper, or neighbor, friend, boss, daughter, sister, writer… or anyone requiring any sort of need. I wanted to feel like my own separate self.

I wanted a man to sit across from me, in some sort of public space (preferably a restaurant) at some form of table (preferably at Chateau Marmont, but hell – I’d take Starbucks), with a beverage (other than water), and maybe even some food. (Am I pushing it?)

Then, I wanted this man to have a conversation with me wherein he would listen to me when I spoke, speak to me in turn, laugh with me, and I would feel pretty again.

In short, this man would pay attention to me.

Following, we would fall madly in love. He’d reveal he was a secret billionaire and ex­soccer star, who in his spare time worked to save orphans in Africa. He’d give me a massive diamond ring, and I’d drop twenty pounds from sheer joy (a yet to be discovered scientific diet-phenomenon), then we’d travel the world on his private jet and live happily ever after.

And this is exactly what I got….

Not really…

Well, not even close.
Stay with me. I’ll come back to this…

IG:  pcharlottelindsay
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