Tag Archives: appreciation

How’s It Going To Be?

How’s it going to be?

It’s Sunday and the time change has officially happened. I am officially not a fan. I have a third cup of not very warm coffee nearby and Third Eye Blind in my ears.

This week is officially one year. The world shut down. I’m starting to see posts on friends’ social media remembering. For me I quit a job, I honestly was on the verge of losing after fifteen years. I had just started again financially. My daughter was almost a teenager. I was starting to finally let someone in.

Then the world stopped.

Now a year later we are slowly opening back up. I have been back to work since August. So the awkwardness of being social, I got out of the way months ago.But I have worries.

Let’s start with the outlandish ones. It’s perhaps completely silly, but it’s something I’ve thought about a lot. In the last year there are people in my life I have stood by everyday. Called. Texted. Made sure they are loved and supported. Now that they can venture out…will they still need me? I know. I know.

But I mean they’ve been stuck with me for a year. So …

Then there’s the more serious worry. My daughter. Finally going back to school.I know she’s excited to see her friends but will she be safe? She will be a freshman who has never been in that building but then I think umm…that’s all the kids so…ok. Settle down there.

Her relationship with her Dad. He’s always been a bit flighty in seeing her but during this last year he REALLY leaned into that.Are they going to be ok?

I guess that is where I do my thing and support her as I have been.I don’t know how it’s gonna be, but this is what I do know.I continue to be thankful for the littlest of things. I really do have the most amazing kid. Seriously I hate how I got here, but for the most part I appreciate that I got to know people in my life in a different way.

So a year later there’s that and I’ll take it.

Be safe

Much love Mommas

💚Caprise

Season Of Gratitude

Season of gratitude….

With Thanksgiving right around the corner I am especially aware of how important it is to be grateful. Not merely as a concept, but more as an experience that can bring you to tears.

It has taken me the better part of my adult life to fully experience gratitude in my body. One of the turning points for me was reading a book called Gratefulness, the Heart of Prayer by Brother David Steindl-Rast. He has a wonderful video on YouTube where he described why we should be profoundly grateful to simply wake up in the morning. I encourage you to view it here https://youtu.be/3Zl9puhwiyw.

The bottom line is what Brother David expresses is everything in this world has been given to us. The air that we breathe, the water that we drink, our bodies that’s simply work. I used to take all of these things for granted. The idea that I could just go into the kitchen and turn on the faucet and have clean, potable water to drink. Both hot and cold running water when so much of the world doesn’t have it. That is amazing. Really.

This was also my wife’s favorite time of the year. She assigned all of her clients and students to write 1000 gratitudes before Thanksgiving day. I never once heard anyone say ” yay I can’t wait!” The reaction was more commonly a groan or a grunt. It always became an exercise in overcoming ourselves, but in the long run was a glorious exercise. And showed us how there are so many things in our lives day to day, to be grateful for. The people and things that we interact with every day make our lives wonderful, and we can stop and acknowledge that. 

Of course there are some things in our lives we cannot be grateful for, that we wish would never have happened,  or would never happen again, but that’s not what this exercise is about. Trust me, you can always return to that way of thinking anytime you choose, but for today, for now join me in thinking about all of the wonderful things, and all the wonderful people in our lives. Because we can.

~Steve

Give Honest And Sincere Appreciation

Giving honest and sincere appreciation…

Dale Carnegie’s 2nd human relations principle.

We all want to know we make a difference to someone or to many someones. Remember the last time someone appreciated you? and how enlivened you felt? Why wouldn’t you want to make someone else feel that way?  

I’m like you. I get busy and don’t take the time to let others know what they mean to me and how they have contributed to my life as much as I could. I also know what a difference it would make for them to hear it. So, why do I hesitate? There are a lot of answers to that question, but none of them are a good justification. Nothing creates or builds a relationship more than being honest. And that includes being honest about how others have contributed to you.

My wife was well known for celebrating birthdays. And one of her signature acts was to make sure that we went around the table allowing everyone to acknowledge the person who’s birthday it was. After all the food was eaten and gifts opened up, People would take a turn saying three things they appreciate about them. It’s always a bit awkward to give and/or receive appreciation, but this is worth more than all the gifts people brought. To hear how you make a difference, even in a small way, stokes the ‘fire in your belly’ to give more.    

Join me in taking more time to honestly appreciate those around you.

~Steve

Mother’s Day Redo

It is Mother’s Day as I type this and I woke up angry and exhausted.

I am ashamed to admit that.  But I am tired of this.

Everywhere I turn. AND everyone has an opinion and it’s crushing lately.

I am trying so hard not to be that person. You know her… Debbie Downer. I am grateful but I am full of regret and hurt.

I am angry.

Like really angry.

And the thing is… that’s ok.

I am gonna say this for those of you in the back. If you haven’t showered for five days. If you are letting the kids eat chips and salsa for breakfast. While not the best choice. It’s ok.

There is no manual for this.

I know we have had this talk a few times but we are still here. It’s still happening.

People are showing their true colors and I’m gonna say it, some people ooh dang. Suddenly I seem very bright in comparison even though I feel very gray, lol.

I will say as much as I try not to be in my head I have begun to learn what matters to me. Really matters. 

I’ve said this before but I am going to type it LOUDLY. Remember who people were to you during this. That’s them. 

I know look who’s giving you advice? Ms. Crabby pants. 

When you are finally able. Love on your people. Remind them all the time. Who they are to you. The biggest lesson I have learned is how I am in friendships and … relationships.

It’s a different world when you can’t meet your friends for coffee. When you can’t have dinner with your favorite person.

Words suddenly matter.

I text and call people like it’s my job now.

There’s a meme about taking this time to get in touch with ourselves but we are baking banana bread.I’m taking it to strengthen my friendships. To make sure the people I love and care about, always know I do.

I am a guarded person who is working really hard to put my guard down. Time is precious. People are precious. I didn’t realize what I took for granted, until it all changed.  Until it’s not there.

I have been fed a yummy breakfast. Hopped up on several cups of coffee. I am much less grumpy than I was this morning. But I have to keep telling myself it’s ok. It’s alright. 

Remember ok is good because it can be great. 

It’s ironic isn’t it I don’t want any more advice, but my hope in sharing this with you, is that you find some comfort in knowing if you are feeling any sort of way-you’re not alone.

Much love Mommas

Be safe 

<3 Caprise

A Little Time

The closer I get to five decades the more I find myself appreciating not flowers, candy and fancy restaurants but when someone gives me their time.

I’ve noticed lately when someone takes a few minutes out of their day to connect with me, it means so much more than a dozen roses ever could.

Don’t get me wrong I still appreciate big gestures. They’re just not nearly as important.

What’s important is someone taking the time. It seems like a small thing but it really has such a huge impact.

A five minute phone call

A three word text

Game changers

I feel like somewhere along the way I had been misguided into thinking a shiny piece of jewelry would right a lot of wrongs.  I blame Lifetime. Lol.  What matters to me is time.

Here’s the thing I don’t even need a lot of it, but someone who takes a few minutes out of their day to let you know they’re thinking of you. That is someone that cares about you.

Time is a valuable commodity. We are all very aware of that. So when someone gives me theirs, it’s huge.

If someone cares about you, they should.

Honestly.

With all the technology we have it is easy to let someone know they are on your brain.

That goes for friends too. Mom life is a busy life. We all know. But man can I just say how much I appreciate my girls who at our collective kid’s bedtime start up the group chat?

Or the random meme that gets sent.

I have one friend who even sends letters!

Ok, she’s a bit of an overachiever lol.

But I can’t tell you much it means to have the WORST week at work and I’ll see one of her colorful envelopes.

Time is precious. If you have given me yours, even in the smallest increment it’s had a huge impact on me.

My hope for you Mommas is time. Whether it’s downtime, alone time, time with your family or a special someone, or funny text between you and a good friend . We all deserve that.

<3 Caprise