Tag Archives: action

Divinity In Action-Loving The People That Have Harmed You

Christmas Countdown, Day 15

People tend to review things at the close of the year…and often that leads to thinking about people that have behaved less than stellar toward us…so here are a few of my thoughts on that…

The being able to stand in the face of someone that has betrayed you and love them and bless them is a great gift…this is Divinity in action, this is the stuff you can’t learn from books…these are the lessons that come from looking into ourselves and seeing how we can emulate God-like qualities…loving the people that have harmed you as you love the people that are easy to love is a level of mastery…this loving is called unconditional love and it is the way that God loves us…no matter what we do or how horrible we are God loves us still…shouldn’t we be loving each other in that same way?

That really is the only thing we have to take with us from this life—the way that we love each other…you know that saying, “you never see a U-Haul being pulled behind a hearse…”

God-like qualities are lessons in forever; the rest of it is just fluff… Oh and loving them doesn’t mean we need to stay around them or let them continue to treat us in ways that don’t work…just to be clear some people need to be loved from far, far away…

When Is It Appropriate To Stand Down In Life

There are times in life when it is appropriate to ‘Stand Down’.  The Military defines ‘Stand Down’ as the movement of soldiers in combat to a safe place for rest and recovery.  It is also a method used by the Military to correct an issue that has been identified as a problem throughout its ranks. 

American Heritage Dictionary defines ‘Stand Down’ as: to withdraw, to end a state of readiness.

Have you ever fought for something so hard only to have it keep whacking you in the face over and over again with its stubborn refusal to yield to your intention?

There comes a time in a wise person’s life when the pain and suffering that they have endured to stand by something has exhausted them to the point of heartbreak…a time when they are disillusioned, disappointed, disheartened and discouraged beyond belief…perhaps a time when this something has caused them to feel that people are inherently flawed…

This would signify the time to ‘Stand Down’.  ‘Stand Down’ does not mean to give up, instead it means to detach and quell the emotional reactivity of a situation.

Sometimes things have to become worse before they can improve and actually the seeming appearance of ‘worse’ is really good at work… in disguise.

When you are sure that you have done all you can in regards to a particular situation it may be the time to ‘Stand Down’—you will know in your heart of hearts when you have prayed enough, been angry enough, been disappointed enough, been lied to enough, been played enough, been betrayed enough, cried enough, talked enough, yelled enough and worked hard enough.

One day, suddenly perhaps, you will wake up and feel that it is time to ‘Stand Down’, time to move away from the attachment of that situation…time to let the other characters see the cost of their behavior…time for you to re-group and remember that there is occasionally more power in ‘Standing Down’ than there is in continuing to ‘Stand Up and Fight’.

Some of the best warriors and most brilliant minds have seen the wisdom in a ‘Stand Down’.  Even those of us that are strong-willed, control freaks can see the value of an occasional ‘Stand Down’.  There are times when it is better to withdraw than to compete with things that are beneath you or which threaten to drag you down into the muck and mire.

‘Stand Down’ does not mean that you are weak or that you lack the courage to keep fighting, it means that you are able to see the point in a situation when it is time for you to pull in and observe.  When it is time to stop pushing so hard and just let nature take its course.  When you have done all your work in a particular situation you can trust that the overall outcome will be for the good, even if the present circumstances resemble a giant garbage dump.

Refreshed, rested, armed with perspective gained from standing down and stepping back, you can re-enter the battle with new commitment and energy.

Life has a way of teaching people what they need to know…and you can count on people’s actions returning to them in kind…

If someone loves, they will be loved.  If someone harms, they will be harmed.  There is no avoiding the cause and effect laws of the universe, no matter who you think you are.

So take heed and if you are faced with a situation that requires it, ‘Stand Down’ with style and Grace…then get back into action when the timing is right.

 

Everything Happens For A Reason

Reason-Look for the Lesson.

I am a firm believer in the statement ‘everything happens for a reason’ and I look at every uncomfortable situation in my life and try to see what it wants to teach me.  Sometimes I see the lesson right away and sometimes I just have to trust that it’s there and that I will see it eventually.  I have learned some of my most valuable lessons from the people and situations that have distressed me the most.  When you are open to the possibility of being contributed to by every event in your life the unpleasant events seem to go by faster.

I have also learned that one of the best ways to diffuse an attack is to apologize for something right in the middle of it.  For instance, “I’m sorry that you feel I’ve insulted you”, or “I’m sorry that you think I hurt you on purpose”.  People attack you because they want attention or they are unhappy with themselves.  If someone attacks you in conversation and you do not respond or you apologize this will diffuse the situation.  A person can only fight with you if you let them.  You cannot argue with someone who refuses to be engaged by you.

I have been told that what we don’t like about other people represents something that we don’t like about ourselves.  If this is true the first action would be to forgive ourselves for all the things that we find unacceptable.  If we can forgive ourselves successfully then we can move ahead to start forgiving others.  Truly, truly everyone is going along doing the best that they can for who they are—maybe it’s time we stopped being so hard on ourselves and others.

Contribution To Other People

I have  been thinking a lot about how what really matters in life is what kind of a contribution you are to other people. So many of us go around just looking for what we can get…not many folks walking around worried about what they can give.  In the grand scheme of things seems like the only way to elevate your soul is to give till it hurts and then give more…give whatever you have…stuff, money, time, love, attention, help…all of it works…

We are the decisive element in our lives and it is by our hand that life is either enriched or destroyed…

In every moment we have the power to choose our reactions to every situation or person and our reactions shape our future…I don’t think that most people understand that.  Have you noticed that the majority of people are living at effect of their own lives instead of at cause?  I believe this is because most folks don’t want to take responsibility for anything that happens to them…it is ALWAYS somebody else’s fault.

Not to mention that somebody else should fix it…

I am of a school of thought that says, “if it happened to me, somehow—some way I have responsibility in it”—this thought process makes it near impossible to blame anyone else for anything…and quite frankly if I caused it somehow then I can also correct it…makes life much easier to understand…

 

 

 

CONTROL Your Thoughts…

Often we find ourselves ‘stuck’ in circumstances that we consider unfavorable and we lament them in our thoughts, thinking things like “why me???”, “poor me!”, “how can this be my life???” etc

We invite these pitiful thoughts in for tea and scones and then invite them back for lunch and dinner.  We feel trapped in the circumstances because we keep the thoughts of them alive in our minds.  In order to overcome circumstances we MUST learn to overcome ourselves which means manage our thoughts!

When sad, pitiful, failure breeding thoughts step in we have to slam the door on them, we cannot allow them access even for a moment.  All it takes is a second and your whole day can be thrown off track by one pathetic thought such as “why don’t I have more money?”.

You have to be VIGILANT in policing your thoughts.  Think ONLY the things that are going to push you forward, STOP entertaining thoughts that make you feel worse!

This morning I was speaking to one of my oldest and dearest friends, he is an amazing man, smart, handsome, talented and witty among other things.  He has been in the middle of some trials for the past few years and I fear he is losing heart, this morning I explained to him that at times he is his own worst enemy because he gives voice to the negative chatter in his head.  Like so many of us when we are being tried, he feels like it will never end, he feels like this trial has become who he is. That is a FALSE idea; he is a WARRIOR and a CHAMPION as we all are.  I know this for him every day and I remind him of it as often as I can.  I am reminding YOU as well!

You are an OVERCOMER, A CHAMPION, A WARRIOR!  Start ACTING like that; stop suffering by visiting with the negative, stupid, self-defeating chatter in your head.

Only YOU can change the circumstances of your life and you do this by first changing every, single thought you have.  If it is an unproductive thought, BANISH it and replace it with something that works…such as ‘every day in every way things are getting better and better’—you don’t have to know how right now, you just need to know that it IS happening, things are getting better and better…

Action follows thought, control your thinking, be vigilant…and NEVER GIVE IN to that self-defeating crap…NEVER!