Starting To Take My Life Back

I started taking part of my old life back…

In March, working from home, felt like a dream… I had always wanted to work from home or have the flexibility.  Then in a matter of weeks, we were all home.  Trying to manage it all, work, school, household duties, plus trying to avoid catching a deadly virus.   Not knowing what to do and what not to do…and soon it was 6 months later and we were all still home.  Yes, I had learned how to adapt to the new normal and the constant changing of the world.  

At first, I would get up and stick to a routine, working out, putting on real clothes, planning ahead for my workday from home… I have even wrote about it a few times and the importance of sticking to a routine.   But over the next few months, things started to slip… less getting up early, less putting on work clothes, less planning ahead… it had turned into getting up 10 minutes before I turned on my computer. I quickly brushed my teeth and put on my same clothes that I had worn for the last 4 days.  No make up, no hair brushing, and maybe a pony tail.   And I am a routine person.  I love routines and I live for them… they make me feel accomplished.  

After about 4 months of being home, I just felt like I had no motivation.  It was beginning to get harder and harder to concentrate on work while I was at home.   I was constantly bombarded with interruptions from my children.  I could not stay on track with any tasks.  I would try to be the supermom with doing it all, but then I felt like my work was slipping…the thought of another zoom meeting makes we want to throw up.

I could not get back on track.  Being at home everyday was not as fun as it started out to be…. It did not feel rewarding, instead it felt depressing and unmotivating.  I noticed that I was also working all the time, whenever I had a free moment I would hop on my computer to respond to an email.   

So here we are in October.. wondering if Halloween is cancelled… wishing for 2020 to just end.  I am pretty sure the majority of us are wondering what next year will bring.  We are just waiting, we are in limbo, trying to figure out how this will all end.

Honestly, I was tired of it all… and I dreaded spending another long day at home, so I decided to start going back into the office a couple days a week.  I could not wait any longer.  I never thought that I would be choosing to go into the office, instead of working from home.  Working from home was my dream.

6 months later, I was setting my alarm for 5:15 am to go workout, come home quick and get into the office by 8.  I had to dig out my “work” clothes which were buried in the back of my closest..hoping they still fit.   I was packing my lunch and remembering to grab my Diet Mountain Dew as I headed out the door.

It was amazing, how after the 1st week, I felt so much better about myself.  I felt like I had a purpose again.  Just the feeling of laughing and joking with a few co workers in person, was rewarding.  I felt like I could actually accomplish and complete things. It was an exciting feeling, and a feeling that I have not felt in months.    

It also felt like I took a little bit of the old life back…the life before March.  It felt comforting with all the challenges and obstacles that we have overcame in the last 6 months.  It also opened the doors for us to start adding in other parts of our “old” life.   So, the kids and I started to attend church in person again.  What a feeling.

Even with all the changes this last year, I am learning to live a different way, along with trying to adapt to all of it, and doing it without losing our shit, somethings can still bring you back to how things were before…the old life.

-Snarky

www.snarkydivorcedgal.com

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