This past weekend two of my friends got married.
A month ago another friend got engaged.
Tonight I got a call inviting me to a Bachelorette party.
While I’m at the point in my life where most of my circle is where they’re at in their lives. Not everyone is.
Which is normal. Except when you’ve told everyone you are never getting married again. Which wouldn’t be so bad except… I’m beginning to realize I really wouldn’t mind getting married again.
Which maybe I should rephrase isn’t bad, except sometimes it feels like it is. I have been so independent for so long it feels a bit counterintuitive to want to be married again.
But maybe because I’m older and not necessarily wiser I would like to be able to have another chance. That was incredibly hard to type. That was even hard to share.
It is almost ten years later and I feel like I failed. I come from a home where my parents are still married. They fought and fight for each other. They are partners.
They are friends.
That’s my blueprint.
That’s what I wanted.
That’s what I know.
That’s what I still want.
There is also a deep, dark piece of me that worries time isn’t on my side.
I mean I am almost two years on the other side of fifty.
But I also know so many people that found their person well into their second act.
I guess my point in this and it’s a biggie, is it’s ok to still want all the things.
Whatever that maybe. I joke sometimes that maybe I’ll just do what Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn have done. I don’t know. I just know I need to stop giving up on things because something didn’t work or it may not happen. And this is for everything in my world. Getting married again, well, that is just an easy analogy.
It could someday maybe and that’s so much better than never.
Here’s to your someday maybes Mommas.