The Relationship Guru

As I typed that title I am chuckling because I am not a relationship guru.

Not even close. I am actually the poster child for what you should not do in relationships. We could take a jaunt down memory lane but I’ve done that before with some of you who have been regular readers.

I am not sure that there is value there.

But I have been revisiting my past relationships a lot lately because one of my good friends is going through the proverbial ringer in hers.

As I have listened and shared I have started putting my actions and choices under a microscope.

How I have had a pattern of being involved with emotionally unavailable men because I have the mindset they are easy to walk away from. I don’t have to put as much of myself out there.

Notice I used the word HAD.

That is not the case in my current relationship. My person always asks how I am. He gently teases me about how surprised I get when I share something and he hears me. It doesn’t end up in a fight.

Here’s the thing, I’m actually not the relationship guru in this story. He is.

I will be very honest and raw here, after my divorce I didn’t think about getting married again. Ever.

I put all those dreams away. Between my divorce and some really ugly relationships I didn’t think it was in the cards for me to meet someone I felt comfortable planning a future with.

There are days I still have a hard time.

I had this conversation with my friend. I do not like to consider myself a broken person and I definitely don’t think anyone should use their experiences as an excuse for bad behavior.

BUT

Whether we like it or not it shapes us.

In my case.

I’m guarded.

I run.

I’m an over thinker.

Obviously I am catch. Lol.

Yet here I am telling you about the most patient human in the universe.

He also asks me about the most important person – my daughter.

I have no idea what is going to happen but what I am learning is every subsequent relationship is an opportunity to start over, to grow. RESET.

I don’t need to be in a relationship.

But…

I am also learning I’m lovable.

 

Much love Mommas

Be safe

<3 Caprise

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