Navigating Loss

Navigating Loss…

This is a special blog post from me, when I am upset I write…

A few days ago one of my lifetime best friend’s lost his Mother…she was a Light, a force of nature, an amazing human being, a treasure and everything to her incredible family.  My heart is broken for them and I have been thinking about him and his family non-stop since I heard the news.  I know what it is like to lose your anchor humans— what it is like to have to get through the wake and the services, what it takes to keep going through the motions when you can’t even comprehend the impact of the loss.  When I talk to people about the death of a loved one, I tell them the truth…”there is nothing I can say that will make this better, nothing that I can do that will make it shatter you less…what I can promise you is that every day it gets just a little, tiny bit easier to tolerate…”

That IS the truth, when you lose your foundational humans you don’t ‘get over’ that…it is never, ever the same…it is different and in time you will recover to the point that it stings less…yet a day won’t go by that you don’t miss them and want to tell them things…you learn to navigate their departure and you teach others what they taught you and you carry on their legacy and you talk about them and keep them very much alive to your friends, children and family…they are ALWAYS a part of you, no matter where they are.

However, in those first weeks and months it is almost intolerable what you must walk through and it is knowing this that keeps me praying non-stop for my bff and his family…I am praying peace and strength and love for them…

I texted him a note today to remember to FEEL his feelings moment by moment, the most horrible thing about grief is that if you stuff it down it will come back and eat you alive at the worst possible times…you have to feel your way through the catastrophic losses…feel it and keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep walking…you WILL get out the other side.

In addition to feeling all the ‘feels’, remember to celebrate the life of the person that has gone on…they would want you to do that…A’s mom would want her clan to celebrate the hell out of her, she was a vibrant woman and she left a legacy of children and grandchildren that is just incredible—- the whole clan is gorgeous, smart, witty and goes out of their way to help people and do what is right…Shelia got the job done in spades…these are some of the BEST people that I know.

I cannot shield them from these moments or what they must face walking through the next few days, however I can pay tribute to them here and use it to help all of you understand that this isn’t something that you ‘get over’—-this is something that you learn to navigate with time.

You are all stronger than you think and you do have what you need to get through your most difficult circumstances…I promise you…you do.

Be gentle with yourselves during times of great loss, have Grace for what you are walking through…losing foundational people is one of the worst fire seasons…

For A and his family know that I am covering you up in love and prayers and that my heart is with you all…

XO, Noelle

Please follow and like us:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.