Growing up…..I never really understood that having joy in my life was an inside job. I always thought there was something or someone that would fill up me up and bring joy and make my life happier. Something Out There. LIKE….. delicious food and a fabulous pair of shoes. A certain weight and a snazzy car. That job with the big title, oh ya and a handsome boyfriend. On and on it went. My list of ‘things to bring me happiness & joy. Not knowing until now…. 25 years later that it was, and is, and always will be… MY Job to fill MY joy bank.
I sit here today and ask Why didn’t anyone tell me? I wouldn’t have spent the last 20+ years making so many empty choices. Choices that didn’t even make a dent in my JOY bank. But then, in that same breath I realize… Someone probably did tell me…. and I certainly was not listening. Not only was I not ready to hear it. I wasn’t ready to give up the life I lived. The ever so important; vacationing, sun-bathing, partying, hard-working, popular, beautiful life that I lived. The life that was happy, fun, joyful…..ahhhh… & when it wore off? I went right back at it.
I can stand here today and think that it was so wasteful. Now wait a minute…. that’s not true. I did what I did for whatever reason I did it. I can say is – I did not know. If I knew better then, I would have made different choices. All I can do now…. is choose now. CHOOSE NOW. 😊 Look for things that bring joy to every day. The little things, the big things, the simple things, the God things. Fill my JOY bank myself. For Myself.
And if someone or something comes along that adds value to my day… well I’ll put that into my Joy bank too.
Your God Girl,