It is hard to believe that I just celebrated my 47 birthday! It is hard to believe where the time went.. And as the years go by, I am more content spending my time with my friends and family one on one. I do not need be invited to the neighborhood bbqs or wine tasting parties. And I do not feel like, I need to invite 10 people to do something…. It’s not that I do not want to make new friends, I just am very content being with a few people. And I am definitely more myself.
I have learned to really enjoy one on one time lately whether it’s with my kids, family, or a friend. I am much more content and happy doing one on one get togethers than being in groups. Years ago, I would have tried to get all my friends together to celebrate my birthday and now I would much rather have many one on one get togethers. And I have always dreaded going to a restaurant where they sang and clapped loudly with that famous free ice cream sundae. Now I dread if my kids have to go through that….I am not sure when the transition happened for me.
This was one of my best birthdays in a long time. The kids and I went to our cabin and spent it with my parents. We had a terrific day of just hanging out, tubing, and having chicken wings for dinner. I did not even let my mom make me a birthday cake… which I’m sure drove her crazy. Haha… The kids and I picked up our favorite pie on the way up to the cabin. It was just perfect. There was not a lot fuss and I really just wanted to sit and enjoy the day. I loved the peacefulness of it all. I have learned I do not need a fancy trip or even a weekend get away, I just need a few people to make it special. It does not need to be planned months in advance, it was more of how I felt for the day.
This summer I have just enjoyed spending time one on one with my friends. We have not been rushing to do a bunch of activities and plans, so I have been able to golf with a friend or go for a hike with a friend. I have had the time to do all that one on one, which I have learned to love. Nothing crazy, just hanging out. In the past, we were just always rushing or invited to so many events for the kids. This summer I got to be the only to decide what we did because there were not a million plans being made by my kids activities, sporting events, or get togethers.
Sometimes I feel guilty for not including everyone to do everything. I just feel more comfortable doing things with just one. And I still always make time to see all my friends, but I like the small get togethers. I don’t mean to exclude people, but I just feel more comfortable with one or two people. And most of the time, I do not even realize when I do not include someone. I just always feel like I get so much more out of it, than when I stuck making small talk with a group of 20 people. I have learned that I just do not like the chaos of larger groups and it seems no one can ever decide on anything. With just one or two friends, we can just really talk and I can really give them all of my attention.
Maybe I have just learned to love the calmness of my life. The non chaos and learning more about what I love…. finally at age 47!