All I Got For You Is A Song

All I got for you is a song…

A few days ago the incredible woman who brought us all here,Noelle, shared a blog about her friend losing a parent.

There was some sad irony in that.

As in a few days I will be going to one of my dearest friends Mother’s funeral.

I am of age where my friends are loosing parents but it is thankfully not something I have experienced.

You always hurt for your people when they hurt and experience loss. However, this loss is hitting me.

When I found out, as I am now I had no words. What can I possibly say?

What do you say to one of your closest friends when they lose their parent? A friend who even when you are at your lowest and most unlovable has loved you. Even when their heart was breaking and they were watching their Mom go, took a few minutes to make sure you were ok.

What do you say about a woman who when you ….

I will just  tell you.

A few years ago I was hosting a music showcase. That same day I broke up with my boyfriend who I started dating after my divorce. The breakup I did not take well. I let old bad habits back in.

Really bad habits.

I think I might have fallen on stage.

Definitely cried during some sad songs.

It was so bad they called one of my Chewbacca’s and strongly suggested he come.

I could feel the shame, but the sadness was stronger.

I came off the stage after an introduction knowing how bad it was, wishing I was home, wanting my Mom and there was my friend’s Mom.

Who gave me a hug and told me all the things I needed to hear at that moment.

I had only met her a few times, but that moment will forever be with me. Like her daughter she loved me when I felt my most unlovable. It is a trait she has definitely passed on to my best friend. That strong, fierce, unconditional love. I really hope you have friends like that.

So here I am struggling to help my friend find the comfort that may not come.

The peace that may ebb and flow.

The words I don’t have.

Instead I did the only thing that makes sense to me. She loves Van Halen. I host a radio show. On Wednesday’s I suggest songs you should listen to.  I suggested Van Halen. I taped my radio shows and made sure to play Van Halen.

And today on Eddie Van Halen’s birthday I made sure to post some more. I, of course have called and sent texts. But as the saying goes where words fail, music speaks.

My hope is that my friend knows that where I’m failing in words I’m sending so much love.

Mommas this would be the part where I give you a  sage pep talk. Sometimes I struggle, this week it’s easy. You are important. There is going to be a moment that you might not even realize, that will mean the world to someone.

<3 Caprise

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