Be a good listener…I was in my office the other day and overheard an interesting conversation…
Mary was telling Kim (not their real names) about what her boy friend said to her that hurt her feelings. Kim said that she knew just how she felt because her boy friend had done something similar to her just last week. Kim then went on for a good 15 minutes describing in detail her incident. I’m sure her intent was to help Mary feel she wasn’t alone. Yet I’m not sure that’s what Mary felt.
I confess that I do the same thing sometimes. I have to catch myself and remember that who I am talking to didn’t ask for my advice or my commiseration. They simply wanted someone to listen to them. They don’t want me to fix anything, they want me to hear them. Hear how they are feeling and what they think.
We all yearn to be ‘gotten’, to be heard and understood.
More upsets are solved by listening than by offering advice. Dale Carnegie’s principle; Be A Good Listener, Encourage Other To Talk About Themselves is another pathway to more fruitful relationships.
Let’s all focus on being a better listener. We have two ears and one mouth for good reason… We should listen twice was much as we talk.
Be a good listener,