Elvis Has Left The Building

Elvis has left the building…

Last Saturday we moved the kiddo to NY where he got his first apartment and will go to school and work and make a life that is separate from mine…after 19 years.

I like the area a lot, it’s a good area for a 19 year old to make a life, much more to do than in VT. The drive over is easy, it’s only 1.5 hours away and he is doing well and finding his way. He doesn’t know anyone there, he just decided that he liked the area, found himself an apartment, had me go over and look at the area and then BOOM…they accepted his application for the apartment on the Tuesday after Memorial Day and he asked me to get him moved that Saturday—-so I rented us a Penske truck and away we went.

He is just like me you know…making a decision and then executing it cleanly and concisely…no drama, no bullshit just doing the next thing. He is also like me in that he picked an area that he felt was best for him and then even though he was terrified he just did it anyway. People are telling me how brave he is and how I did such a good job that he was able to go and do this…

And me? I’m over here wandering around my CLEAN and QUIET house wondering what the hell just happened…

I think that I am still digesting the fact that we will never live under the same roof again—- some of you likely know what a strange freaking feeling that really is. In some ways single Moms are the only ones that can comprehend this fully because they know what it is like to put your head down and focus on one thing—-the kid—and just keep doing the next thing until one day one level of it is complete.

So I keep asking myself, “NOW WHAT?”—who am I if I am not that, what do I want to do now that I am free to decide??? I have spent 19 years just doing what needed to be done to make sure that this kid had everything that he needed and to make sure that we had enough money to pay the bills etc etc. I just had my head down and I lifted it a bit when he graduated and started working and now I am free to lift it all the way and it’s WEIRD. There is no other way to describe it— it isn’t bad, it is just weird.

Now what? Now what? Now what? I don’t know…I mean of course I have a job and people count on me to do it, so I will keep doing that. Trying to get used to nobody bothering me every second of the day because during this pandemic with his restaurant closed that is what was happening—-he was literally driving me mad—s-l-o-w-l-y…

The moving was a blessing to both of us and of course I just want him to be happy and functional (LOL) and a good person and learn how to budget!!! Pretty normal shit.

It is so clean here—as in when I clean something it stays clean—-imagine that!?!? That I will gladly get used to—- we talk daily and he is doing well and I am processing and truly all is well. It is just different…19 years of doing something is a long time.

I got the job done though, of that I am certain—- I am looking forward to seeing what he does now and trying very hard to let him figure shit out while providing support— that is a new concept for the chick that wants to fix and save everyone— I’m learning my way as I go…

Onward—-have a good week. I will be back for Coffee Chat soon, maybe even this Sunday— I just haven’t felt like it for a few weeks— I will get there— Blessings and love to you all.

-XO, Noelle

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