The Double Handed Compliment

The Double Handed Compliment….. 

It is Sunday morning. I have a coffee and a golden Doodle who is doing his best to convince me I should pet him. No music. But I have a suggestion- if you can, give Gary Clark Jr.’s cover of the Beatles Come Together a listen. In my humble opinion as a Beatles fan (I have a lyric of theirs tattooed on me) he does it justice.

I am part of several groups on social media. It’s been my way to connect with people during a time when- let’s be honest calling a friend and saying let’s get some coffee- can’t necessarily happen.

For the most part people are pretty kind. There are always one or two people looking to stir the proverbial pot in some form or fashion. Some people unfortunately thrive on that energy.

One of those groups is for women and I would say for the most part people are kind. There have been one or two passive aggressive moments but others have made sure to call that behavior out.

Last night it happened to me. I posted a picture. A woman in the group gave me a compliment then told me all the things she felt were wrong. With my picture. In essence me. Rather than respond, I took my picture down.

I am not sure where people felt like if you compliment someone first that means you can follow up with a criticism, call it advice and then it’s ok.

When I shared this story with my good friend she point blank said “well that’s the risk you take when you post pictures on social media.”

Conversely my boyfriend questioned why anyone has to be like that. He went one step further. “If she didn’t like the picture she could have just kept going, why did she have to comment?”

That Mommas is the million dollar question.

I am the lady who even though I don’t know you, if I see you and think you look cute, I will tell you. It’s just who I am. On the flipside if I am not down with your Chicago Bears jacket I may tease you because I’m a Packers fan, but I’m not going to say I don’t like it. You do, so that’s what matters.

Society is tough enough on us. We shouldn’t be tough on each other too.

We are told to look like a Kardashian. Don’t look like a Karadashian. Look your age, don’t look your age. Be yourself, don’t be yourself.  Wear makeup. Don’t wear makeup. 

I am just as hard on myself. I really do not need any help from the peanut gallery. 

Then I start to think if adults do this…I gotta really ramp up the Mama Bear mode with G. She is so herself. She is so sparkly. I really want that for her, forever if possible. 

So I am going to do what I always do, continue to be me. Right now me is test driving green hair. I am just as shocked as you are. I have been some shade of blonde since forever, but I have truly embraced the COVID hair, gonna give it a try mantra. Also, the Gen X in me is taking advantage of a work environment that focuses more on how well I do my job, not my haircut.

Mommas I hope during all this you remember who you are.

You are amazing.


End of story. Regardless of the outside.


Much love, be safe.

<3 Caprise

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