Don’t Let Your Anger Consume You

Don’t let your anger consume you. It’s ok to be angry-angry at our kids, our friends, our coworkers, our boss, the person in your life. Angry for the things that happen to us in our lives,angry how people have treated us.

How do you get past it and move on?  How do you not let it control all the other areas of your life?  How do you not let it consume you?

I experienced a situation with someone that I was very close to (or thought I was very close to) that caused me much anger.  I was sad and so disappointed in myself and that person.

I had suspected that there was mistrust in our relationship and I ended the relationship.  Yep, I  ended it because I suspected the mistrust.  In the end, I never got any of the answers that I needed or wanted. 

I like things out in the open,all on the same page with what is expected.  And I have a hard time when people can not be honest back.  I had communicated that to him, but unfortunately he could not reciprocate that same communication.  I believe now that I was probably just told what he thought I wanted to hear.I  wish this could have all been avoided if he would have communicated instead of it leading to distrust.  

 I was angry at myself for letting this person in my life,so angry for that. I was angry because I allowed myself to put up blinders and I am still angry with myself for not following my gut or reading the signs.   I know everything that I probably believe is not all true, but I do know there was mistrust and dishonesty.  In the end, he obviously had very little respect for me.  

When It happened, I wanted to lash out…I did not understand.  I was so disappointed in myself.  How could I let this person in my life? How could I stand by this person for months?  How could I give him support when he needed it?

I was probably more angry with myself than with him.  I had to realize that as much as I wanted some answers on what was the truth, I was not going to get them.

I could try and piece it together in my head, but in the end It did not really matter.  I could spend months or endless days being angry but It was not going to change anything.   It happened and now I had to get past the anger I was feeling.

I have not had a lot of mistrust in my life.  I did not have mistrust growing up or in my past marriage, so this was new.  This was a new experience for me and I had to learn how to get past it.  I have been mad at people and experienced anger before, but not with mistrust involved.   

I knew if I did not get past it, It would take over other areas of my life. I would be stressed at my kids when I didn’t need to be.I would be short or annoyed with things that normally didn’t bother me.  I would just snap for no reason at all.  I would just be so mad and I had to let it go. 

I had to stop replaying everything and beating myself up.  Things happen in our lives, that make us so angry and it’s how we respond that gets us through it.  I feel I learn to let more and more go as I move through life,  I knew if I wanted to be happy again I had to just let this go. 

Let go of the hurt and disappointment… Not let it consume me.  

As I was pushing through this all,  I realized that it was ok for me to be angry at times. It was totally fine for me to have a rant to my friends every week about what I really thought and they would respond with all their juvenile name calling to make me feel better. 

I knew I had to get through the anger first before I could get through other areas affected by this… I had to get through this before I could trust or let people in again.  It was like the first layer that I had to peel through and then work on the rest.

-Snarky

 

www.snarkydivorcedgal.com

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