Changing My Name-Born a Malo, Always a Malo….
There are many things in this world we all take for granted. The roof over our heads, the cars we drive, and now more than ever, our health. But have you ever sat down and thought about your name and what it stands for? I have been thinking about this every day for endless months.
Most women I know get married and take on a new married name, the one of their husbands. For the most part that’s what you do unless you have a strong reason to keep your maiden name. I was no different and followed the typical protocol. I got married, changed my name and never thought much about it. I had two beautiful kids and they took this married name too. Like I said, you don’t think anything about it ,until of course, things don’t work as planned. Then torture sets in. What the hell is the right thing to do now? And believe me it’s not about what people think of me or what they think I should do, I shipped that yacht out years ago.
The struggle of being a Mom with two kids trying to protect them from any extra uncomfortable feelings is real. When your parents get divorced it plain fucking sucks. I don’t care what anyone says children of divorce are bad-ass and have way more shit to deal with than most kids. Unless you lived it or living it you just don’t understand. As you can tell this was the one and only reason I wanted to keep my married name. Our three musketeer unit could always be as one. I tried like hell to do that and keep it that way for them but I just never felt right, ever. Whether it be saying my name out loud or signing it, there were times I was like who is this person? There are absolutely no characteristics of the old me and the new me, not one thing is alike other than I am a Mom of two of the greatest kids on the planet. I have 99% changed. Then 2020 set in like a mad truck.
There was no normal anymore and this year was nothing any of us could have predicted. However,it brought a lot of us closer and reminded us about things we forgot about because we were all too damn busy. My kids and I were hiking almost every day with our dogs, having dinner at the table and this was the spring time when normally we didn’t have an extra 5 minutes in a day. At that point my decision was made and my kids understood. This wasn’t about me as a Mom but me as a human being. So I filed the paperwork and I paid to return to me.It was not easy getting here.
So today I am me the person I was born to be, the little Malo girl living in downtown Monson. A smidge older & hopefully still kinda little. The girl that waters the gazebo plants,jamming to music every morning with the biggest smile and an occasional twirl. Being a Malo means the absolute world to me. Malo’s are genuine, loyal, good- hearted humans. Didn’t say we were normal or not crazy cause that would be a lie but most of us would do anything for anyone.
I will NEVER take for granted signing my name, saying my name out loud and there would need to be an act of God to ever change it again. In one of my favorite lyrics to a song “I’m proud of who I am…No more monsters, I can breathe again”. I am amazingly proud just being me and being able to live this wonderful life I was given. So tonight I sign off sitting on my garage steps looking at the pink sky with a glass of wine.
Ya’ll better watch out because the Sara Malo in me is way more fun than ever!