Category Archives: Relationships

Codependent Turned Soul Dependent: My Honest Journey

Growing up, I didn’t receive a lot of validation.  Oh, I longed for it, but it was seldom given.  It turns out, invalidation is one of the most important ingredients to the recipe for being codependent.

Codependency, in my case, rooted in my childhood from a few other things too.  Namely, a lack of nurturing, fear of parental anger toward each other and myself, emotional and “acceptable” physical abuse in the form of heavy-handed spankings and slaps across the face that sent me sailing across the room, and having an alcoholic father and a codependent mother who was also a child of an alcoholic father. Cycles do tend to repeat. There was a great deal of emotional trauma in my childhood, and only in the last couple of years, have I begun to understand the connection between those early years and my lifetime quest to find self love.

I did a really great job of covering up my inner conflicts for most of my life.  I married my high school sweetheart at age 23, made a successful career for myself, and had four beautiful children for which I found my purpose.  Raising my children was the most fulfilling thing I had ever known, and their unconditional love seemed to complete me.  Before I knew it, I was an over-achieving, perfectionist, super mom.  I was running my own business, working late at night to keep up on the bookwork, nursing my babies, running myself ragged keeping up on laundry, cooking, cleaning, raising a large garden, canning vegetables, anticipating every need for my workaholic husband, and the list goes on and on.  My need to please and prove was keeping everyone happy…everyone, that is, except for me.

The problem was, I was doing all these things hoping for validation and not necessarily doing them because they brought me joy.  Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t trade one single day of motherhood, and many of those things are non-negotiable.  Our children deserve to be loved and nurtured and well cared for.  My kids did and still do bring me more joy than I can ever explain.  Compounding the problem, though, was that no one was really validating me for any of these things anyway.  I didn’t realize back then that my own validation was all that I needed.   Instead of feeling fulfilled, I started pushing down disappointment and sadness, and, without knowing it, resentment and anger started to build.

I’ve since learned a lot about codependency, and one of my favorite teachers on this subject is Lisa A. Romano.  Lisa says, “Emotions are meant to flow.  When pushed down, we begin to rot from the inside out.”  I was a master at pushing the feelings down, and finally, all that rotting garbage began to fester.  It wasn’t pretty.  I first identified it as a midlife crisis.  Six years later, I now see it as a spiritual awakening, and as my other great inspiration, Brene Brown, describes it, my soul was breaking out of my body.  Oddly enough, that probably sounds a little more eloquent than rotten garbage oozing out of the trash can of my soul, but for those that witnessed it, they’d probably describe the latter.

It all started to rear its ugly head when my oldest two children were leaving the nest.  I didn’t understand what was happening right away, and I did everything I could to research it and try to fix it.  After all, I was great at fixing things, or so I thought.  It didn’t go quite as smoothly as I’d have hoped.  My marriage fell apart, and all of my repressed feelings started to come out sideways.  I went through a period of self destruction and tried to escape my reality and pain in a myriad of unhealthy ways.  I eventually hit my rock bottom and figured out I had to look within.  No one else was going to save me.

Fast forward, I’m finally recovering, but it is not without a lot of hard lessons and a whole lot of what I call tender loving soul care.  Coincidentally, that is the term I coined to describe my own blog.

As a new guest blogger for The Working Single Mom, I can’t squeeze my entire detailed journey into one article, but I hope that I am able to continue to tell you about my path to healing and inspire you to find some self love too.  As a mother, there is also room for personal happiness and fulfillment, creative living, and finding your other passions and purposes.  We are allowed to have more than one.

The key to my recovery has been facing my feelings, looking at deep wounds and sitting with that pain, a whole lot of inner child work, learning about my codependency, and working diligently to heal all of these areas.  I’ve learned a lot about self care and have started practicing mindfulness and meditation, yoga, and journaling.  I’ve worked with three online counselors at different phases of my healing journey. I have started writing as a hobby and a passion, have discovered a love of nature photography as a form of meditation and gratitude, and started antiquing with a dear friend as a fun hobby and a small business venture.  Not only that, I’ve learned to set boundaries in my life and surround myself with positive, healthy people.   And even though it still takes a conscious effort not to want to be validated for all of my progress and success, for cooking great dinners, and wearing my 50-year-old heart on my sleeve, I know I am healing, and I am finding joy in wholehearted living.

Yesterday, I took my two daughters to a Broadway show called Bandstand.  That in itself, was a new and enjoyable experience for the three of us.  There was a great line in the play, and it resonated with me.  It went like this, “Don’t sing because you want the lead. Sing because you need to sing.”

If you decide to read what I write, that makes me happy.  I hope that I can inspire others, however, I am not writing to gain praise and validation.  I’m writing because I need to write.  It helps me to heal, validate my own experiences, and most importantly, it feeds my soul.

If you were to sit down and think about what makes you happy, I can bet that many of you do not know the answer. When we are raising kids, we sometimes get lost in the shuffle.  A mother’s identity is usually just that; a mother.  I can tell you there is more, and it is not selfish to find what stirs your soul.  In fact, if you are taking care of your own needs, you will be better able to love and care for your children.

I write because I need to write.

I ask you now, not what you have to do, but what is it that you need to do?  Deep down, you know the answer.  Just listen and let that answer lead you. Your soul is begging you to ask the question.

Blanche Bouvier

http://tenderlovingsoulcare.com/

Man Up

Do you want a Man’s Man?  A strong, get-it-done, rough & tumble kinda man?  

Then you need to listen to what he says, & watch what he does.  Do those two things line up? When he says he’s going to pick you up at 8:00… does he pick you up at 8:00?   When he says it’ll be fun to go somewhere special, does he take you there? When he says he’ll make the plan for Friday night, does he follow through?  When he says he doesn’t eat junk food, does he go to a fast food place and justify why?  

Are you asking why does this matter?  

It matters because 

# 1 – it’s important that your man keeps his word

 #2 – it’s important that he values his commitments to you

 #3 – it‘s important…because when he says “you’re beautiful”… you believe him

 

Men are action oriented.  They are doers, hunters, fighters, chasers.  They are bold, courageous and strong. If we don’t give them the space to be that MAN, and we take away THAT manhood that we want so much… they could feel unwanted, undervalued or even threatened and they just might leave.  

It is not our job to be the man in the relationship.  It is not our job to do, to get, to fix, to plan. It is our job to BE….be femininity, be heart, be comfort, be quiet, be encouragement.  They have hard edges, ours are soft. They get to the point, we talk in long sentences. They drive, we relax. They do, we be. Am I making sense?

If we don’t allow them the space to hunt, court, defend, protect …..because we’re doing it.  Because we’re calling first, we’re making the plans, we’re in control, we’re figuring it out and we’re fixing it where it’s messy…. if we DO all the DOING….. we’re not giving them the opportunity to be living at “full throttle” in their manliness… protecting, providing, fixing… and they just might not stick around.  You can be an independent woman and still bring on the captivating feminine.  

So sit down, smile, flip your hair and bat your lashes.  He’s about to Man Up.

xoxo

Your God-Girl,

Tracy

Making Friends Mid-Life

I just moved to Fort Wayne 7 months ago and I have so many wonderful friends today!  

I have so many new friends in my life because I said yes.  I said hello. I started a conversation. I smiled. I went to the meeting.  I joined the Study. I accepted the invitation. I went alone. I walked through the door.  You see…. I had decided before I moved here that I was going to make this a life worth living, I was going to meet women and I was going to enjoy my new home in this new place.  

If you want to be a part of a larger circle of girlfriends, it will take you getting out of your fragile way, it will take you being bold and stepping out and it will take you creating something different.  You will have to risk, you will have to research things happening near you and go alone, you will have to be in the mindset of positivity and possibility and love.

So, you say hi first.  And maybe that’s all it is…. is a hello.  This time. And maybe nothing comes from it.  It goes no further than that. But, MAYBE, just maybe… a compliment about her cute sweater creates a coffee date.  Maybe volunteering at the animal shelter turns into a friendship with someone you may never ever have met otherwise.  Maybe going to a yoga class alone and chatting afterwards you end meeting your new bestie and especially when you open your mind to the fact that you and the woman across the street can’t wait to meet each other… you end up creating a friendship only the heart can explain.

So to create a larger circle of friends… yes…. it requires you to go places and do things and kindly say hello.  You never know what could come next. It’s never ever too late in life to make new friends.

xoxo,

Your God girl 

Tracy

Is There Life After Domestic Violence?

****READERS…we have a submission from a domestic violence survivor which I think is an important story to share as I was once in that situation myself with a boyfriend many moons ago—- It is my hope as well as hers that this will inspire you and if you are in a situation like this PLEASE seek help from qualified professionals…a website that has resources by state is www.thehotline.org.   This is a bit outside of our normal content, however I feel that it is an issue that needs a voice.  PLEASE any comments positive and supportive, we don’t do judgment here.  Thanks.  – Noelle

Is There Life After Domestic Violence?

While you’re living in fear, being controlled, degraded, assaulted, abused and isolated it can feel like a hell that will never end. Domestic Violence presents physical, emotional and mental pain that changes who you are and changes who you were going to be. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

I’m out now. I’m 7 years out after being in my relationship for 14 years. And the biggest mistake I made was thinking my life would be ‘normal’ once I left. There is nothing normal about my life as I know it now. But it certainly isn’t the hell that I once endured.

Acceptance

I had to learn to accept what I lived. It happened. It was done. I couldn’t change it. Ever. I had to understand and fully accept that it wasn’t my fault nor did it have to define me. I was free to choose what happened next and what to write in my next chapter. I could make different choices on how I wanted to live my life. And then followed through with those new choices because I accepted that I could.

Professional help

Over the years I’ve engaged counsellors, psychologists, doctors, alternative practitioners, medication and lots and lots of personal development reading and support. It has been imperative in my healing journey that I spoke out loud to professionals. Not to relive my past or the traumatic events in detail but to help me gain perspective and gather my thought processes together. To help me learn and develop strategies to calm my negative thoughts, to ground myself, to be mindful and present. I allowed others to support me and hold space for me while I activated my own healing mechanisms and processes.

Healing

I had to be proactive about my healing. I had to do the work. I continue to do the work. I meditate, write, journal, rest, read, listen to my body and my inner guidance. I walk barefoot on the Earth, I exercise, I drink water. I practise self-care by booking massages and getting my hair done. I try not to feel guilty or shame myself if I eat ‘bad’ food. I say no when I need to. I take steps back from negative and toxic people around me to protect my own energy. I do what’s best for me, most of the time. I acknowledge it’s a never ending journey and I remind myself that the joy is in the journey rather than the destination.

Share your story

Silence hides violence. Tell your story. Write your story. Help yourself by helping someone else.  People think they’re alone until they hear about someone else’s story. You could make a real difference and help change someone’s life by sharing your own story. You could make another human being feel seen and heard. You could spark their own power to get help and begin their healing journey. You could inspire someone else to tell their own story. There is power in the spoken word. There is great power in telling your story and being heard.

Through my acceptance, professional help, healing and sharing my story I have grown confidence and self-worth I never thought I’d ever have. There is peace and happiness inside that I never knew was possible. And I’m so grateful to be alive to use my voice and tell my story.

*****

Lisa Lee is the founder of Lisa’s Sanctuary (www.facebook.com/LisasSanctuary) and the author of ‘Why I Stayed’ written in response to the many times she was asked why she didn’t just leave.

Teamwork Makes The Single Mom Dream Work

Being a single mom is undoubtedly hard.  It’s hard in a way you can’t really understand until you are in the throes of it.  Like when you were pregnant, and people told you that having a newborn would make you tired.  Remember that?  I recall thinking, yeah, I stay up way past midnight and still wake up and go to work tired, I’ll be fine.  Then the baby comes and your definition of tired is utterly reinvented.  Being a single mom is no different, you must experience it to really understand how difficult life becomes.

The hard parts are different for all of us.  Sometimes it’s financial, sometimes it’s juggling busy schedules, sometimes it’s chasing the impossible work/life balance.  For me, my biggest struggle was trying to be the nurturer and the disciplinarian – roles typically reserved for 2 parent households.  I did my damnedest, but with 2 very different kids I found myself performing a daily Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde routine.  One kid had a great day while the other got in trouble at school.  So, a smile and a high five to you, turn around a deliver a stern look and a consequence for him.  How confusing that must have been for my kids?  I was failing at both roles and leaving a gaping hole in my family.

One day, as I was really trying to figure it all out, I realized that I needed a teammate in all of this.  I was not dating, and fully aware of the complications of bringing another adult into the situation, so that was not the answer.  Instead, I asked myself what if instead of trying to react to and regulate every circumstance my kids encountered, I simply joined them on the playing field.  I decided to start addressing our family as a team. We all had roles to play on the team, and we all had a responsibility to the success of our team.  I sat my kids down and we spoke at length about our new family dynamic.

The truth is, nothing changed as far as my hierarchy in our family.  But instead of dividing and conquering my kids, I encouraged us to all weigh in on the good and bad parts of our days.  We talk so much more, and I yell so much less.  My kids have learned each other’s love languages – one son thrives on physical touch, while the other seeks out words of affirmation.  They have been empowered with the skills to comfort each other and even me on the tougher days.  When one of us has a win – we all win, we all celebrate.

By putting an end to my polar opposite parenting, I’ve lifted a weight off my own shoulders.  I’ve given my kids the gift of an engaged mom instead of an overlord.  I see them growing as better people through their understanding of empathy and teamwork.  We hold each other accountable and we lift each other up.  We are invested in each other’s successes, we cheer for each other louder than anyone else, and we’ve created a safe place to express our thoughts and feelings.

My kids and I are a team now, and there is no other team I’d rather play the game of life with than the people I love the most.

Colleen

Friendship In The Time Of Chaos

Friendship In The Time Of Chaos..

Anyone else feel like the world is on fire?

Holy…

Where do you start, and when does this end?

I am going to say what you already know and have probably heard a million times.

Reach out to your friends. Often. Call them. Email them. For the first time ever social media can be used for good.

I have actually talked on the phone to friends I normally text. We are sharing music, recipes, our fears.

That last one. Now is not the time to hide. If ever there was a time to show up this is it.

People are showing their true colors. Some are becoming the marker in the Art bin everyone fights over. Some are becoming the crayon no one wants.

Don’t be the crayon.

My list of worries like almost everyone is long.

It has felt very reassuring to know I am not alone. To talk it out or not. To talk about something absolutely ridiculous and have a good belly laugh instead of a long cry. I have plenty of those and know more are coming.

I am by no means telling you to text that ex or forgive a hurt. But the people who mean something to you. Now is the time and goodness knows we have time. Tell them. If possible show them.

I still am not a social media cheerleader and I would fly a caution flag there too.

When people have too much time on their hands they think hard. Overthink… so if you think it might maybe just bug them in normal times I’d say in these times … it will be even more so.

I know it is for me.

On the flip side it is keeping us all connected. Take advantage of it. Use it for good!

But that is not the point.

The point is this. You can come out of this better, the person who lost an opportunity, or was a jackass.

Or in much more eloquent terms thanks to Teddy Roosevelt:

“Do what you can with what you have, where you are.”

Things are weird. Try to keep your chin up. Wash your hands, be kind. This is your moment. You can either rise up or fall back.

Sending you love and reminding you to wash your hands.

<3 Caprise

Keeping The Drama Out Of Your Life

How do you keep the boundaries set that you have spent years putting into place?   How do you constantly not get pulled into the drama of someone’s life?  I have spent the last few years of my life, setting boundaries with my ex husband.  This has made my life much easier and less stressful. There have been less engaged discussions or one sided arguments due to the boundaries that I have created.  I have kept communication limited  to keep my life moving forward.  These boundaries were set to move forward with my life and children.

I feel that my life has flourished over the last 5 years.  Yes, I have had many ups and downs, but I have pushed through them.  I enjoy my life now and I have worked hard to get to this place.  My kids and I have experienced many challenges and somehow gotten through it.  We have created this comfortable and fun life for ourselves.

As I continue to move forward, I feel that others in my life are still stuck at times.  Yes, this is my interpretation, however I set many boundaries to keep all of the added conflict, drama, and arguments out of my life.  This has been a constant challenge. I feel like I’m just walking down my own path, trying new things, and learning about myself… and then all of a sudden I am constantly blindsided by something from my ex’s life.

Some parents have great co parenting relationships, but my ex and I  just don’t.  I have written about our co-parenting challenges and how it does not always work. So as I am moving forward,  I have to constantly ignore the drama from the other side.  This is a struggle.  There are so many times that I want to ask my kids what is going on at dads, but I have to remember that it will only lead to problems.  I do not need to hear about the fighting at dads, the finances, what they eat for dinner, or what he says about my life.

I have learned to not ask my kids about their time at dad’s house.  As kids they do love to volunteer the information freely, so I am constantly reminding myself that it is no concern of mine.  My kids are very comfortable with me, so unfortunately I usually hear everything.   I do not offer my advice to my ex on things that my kids tell me, so freely.  I do not ask questions about his life.  I also need to remember that the things I hear from my kids is their perception and it is not always as how it happened…

I am trying for us both to live as separate of lives as possible, but share 3 kids. In trying to stay out of the drama of his life, I have had to learn to say no to him.  I will help my ex with the kids as much as possible, until it interferes with my life.  I also have a life that is just as important.

In the past, I would have taken the kids at a drop of the hat, if something came up in his life.  I would have changed my work schedule to accommodate his schedule.  I would have backed out of plans with friends to help him, just because I thought it was for the kids.  I thought that was what good moms do… Saying yes did not make me a good mom.  Because in the end, I am the mom that would do anything for her kids, so this is really tough.

I am slowly realizing that he needs to figure this out.  Yes, I do help many times, but I can not always be available.  He will assume at times that I can help him out and I am learning to say no.  Over the years,  I have learned to find solutions to my own conflicts with my kids. I have found carpools and friends to help me out when I needed help.

Keeping the drama out of my life has let me move forward… I am not stuck in my old life.  I have a new life that I created and I continue to focus on that.  I let him figure out how to handle his life and situations.  I do not add my advice or input.  I just go along my own path learning to say no more often, keeping the boundaries, and ignoring the drama.

-Snarky

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/

Give Me Twenty Minutes A Day With My Children

My 13 year old has a bus stop 5 houses down and everyday I drive her to the bus stop. We leave 10 minutes early to sit 5 houses down and wait for the bus.. seems silly doesn’t it.  I do it because I get 10 minutes with her alone and no distractions.. this is 10 minutes that I can’t get anywhere else.  This is my time with her…

I also drive my oldest daughter to high school each day and that is the best time of the day to talk to her…  And on the flip side, I’ve learned that trying to have an important conversation with her after cheer practice at 5:30 is not even worth it.  Teenagers are not much different than adults.. we all have our best times of the day.. and our worst times.

My girls are in their teens and our lives are busy. We are not all together all the time. We do not eat all our meals together or watch movies together. They do not all have the same interests and likes.  We do not all make it to every activity together.  They spend weekends with friends, sports competitions, and sleeping til noon.  This is very different from when they were little.

My son is 9 and loves video games.  I’ll just pop down on the couch next to him and ask him about the game. It’s a quick 5 minutes of me asking him about the game he’s playing and trying to teach me.

It has taken me a while to understand  that we don’t always need to be together. In my head, I had all these fun days planned over Christmas break .. maybe the museum, movies, or mini golf.  And in reality none of that happened, we ended up going out to lunch one day.   And honestly, It was perfect.  They didn’t need the full day of activities to have a fun day like I have envisioned.  Sometimes I forget that they just like it simple.

I have learned that we do not need to spend 8 hours together all the time. They are all at different stages of their lives and sometimes lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings  is all that’s needed.

As they get older, they are learning their independence and I’m learning to give it to them.  It’s hard. It’s a balance between what I need from them and what they need from me. Some weeks it’s one sided.  I used to get so irritated that my middle schooler would come home and go right to her room. Finally I learned that’s what she needed right after school and that later on after 9 pm I would get my time with her..  as she would come watch tv with me.

So sometimes 20 minutes a day is all I need. Give me 20 minutes of undivided time with each child and I learn more about their lives than spending the day with all three.

20 minutes a day seems so minimal.. but sometimes you can learn so much in that time.  I spend hours every week at sporting events, church, and school events for my kids but it’s the random few minutes that are the most important.

It’s the quick ride to school or grabbing a Starbucks or waiting at the ortho before her appointment that matters the most. It’s those random small intervals that we can just talk… not lecturing or probing for information, but just everyday conversation.

I love those moments.  They are what counts right now.

-Snarky

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/

Loving An Addict

Loving an addict….
It’s just another normal day in my life.  Wake up, rally the kids, get out the door, and go to work. I’m relatively new at the office.  Less than 4 months in fact.  That’s pretty much as infant as it gets when working in child welfare.  Professionally speaking, I have zero experience.  None.

I live in a small rural area in Ohio where the “opioid epidemic” is out of control.  I don’t mean it’s a nuisance, or a pain in the side to taxpayers – but, it is of course.  What I really mean is it completely out of control.  There are families that simply cannot put it down and see the beautiful and tender faces of their children in terrible distress.  Parents aren’t even trying to get their children back from children services anymore.  In with the opioids, out with the children. The battle isn’t even fought.  Parents are waving the white flag and walking away childless without fighting the good fight.

I know addiction quite well.  I watched loved ones die slow and agonizing deaths from drug and alcohol addiction.  “Sad” isn’t the word I’d apply to that.  “Devastating” isn’t even profound enough a word to describe it.  I still haven’t found the words to impart the deepest pain that exists when you watch a loved one slowly taking their own life – not by suicide, but by addiction.
Every. Single. Day.
As a child, I could not understand what was happening to all those people I loved.  I was oftentimes startled by their love and laughter one day… and then rage and anger the next.  A beer can was a sure sign to hide or find an excuse to leave.  If I happened upon that odorous smell then I knew that things could go bad real fast.  But, what I didn’t know was the long term effects of drugs and alcohol.  For a very long time, I didn’t even know it was called a drug or alcohol.  I just knew it was there and those using it were unpredictable.

Nonetheless, their addictions did not stop me from crying endless nights for them – for their sufferings.  Their addictions did not stop me from hurting as I saw them sick and dying.  And then, as we laid the first in the ground, I was enraged.

I spent most of my adult life trying to show some grace to those battling addiction.  I love and honor the person each are meant to be – free of the addiction. No addict wakes up each day wanting to chase the high or bottle.  Addiction is how they have grown accustomed to coping with their own trauma.  It probably feels more like the addiction is chasing them.

I have loved many addicts in my lifetime of 40 years.  There isn’t anything someone can say to change my mind about that kind of love.  It’s raw, painful, innocent, full of grace and absolutely, at times, mostly enabling.  It’s a love that believes that love does conquer all.  I’ve prayed thousands of hours for their changes, their health and their abilities to overcome the struggle of addiction.

I’ll never forget when my uncle passed away in his early 30’s.  With his last breath came the realization that no amount of love can save someone.  And it wasn’t until later in life, that I struggled with accepting I cannot change an addict.  But, it doesn’t stop me from wishing that ten little fingers and ten little toes would stop a parent in their tracks, to take inventory, to make changes and to give those sweet children the best chance this tough world has to offer.

With addiction comes broken spirits of the many children left parentless.  They are fragile and traumatized.  They yearn for their parents, even if that means taking all the dysfunctional parts of that life.   Because, that’s their normal.
– Carmen 
Not Just Nearly Learn happiness, But Really Learn happiness

Crash Into Me

Crash Into Me….

Sometimes in the middle of chaos you begin to realize what you need and what you deserve.

You start to find your voice. You start breathing again. You uncross your arms. You let things go you should have let go a long time ago.

And maybe people told you that, in fact they did but you had to land there.

I have landed there.

Mommas I think I crashed actually.

I’m going to be honest I am crying while I write this, it probably doesn’t help my community is in the middle of a shutdown. I’m trying to change jobs and worry I really won’t have one. Add to it I have been in a relationship where I feel like I have been relegated to swimming in jello.

We take two steps forward then inevitably we take a giant step back. While it’s better than any I have been in for a long time.

I still am in a place where I am allowing myself to not be in a relationship I deserve. I have the last few years holding my breath waiting for a change that doesn’t come. I have mentioned this before, somewhere along the way I bought into the belief I deserve to not be loved a hundred percent.

I have been living in the land of broken promises.

Changes that never happen.

Who taught me I deserved this? My Dad definitely doesn’t treat my Mom like this.

So where?

I know what I want. Why am I so afraid of having it? Why do I settle for half?

I had a pretty lengthy conversation with my best guy friend about how I should take steps up. Not just steps. I am an adult. I deserve to be in a relationship with someone who is also an adult. Or acts like it. I deserve to be more than afterthought. I deserve to be the first thing and last thing someone thinks of. I deserve to have bad days. They deserve them to but let me hold your hand.

Don’t shut me out. Fight for me. Make me feel wanted. Needed.

I don’t need someone in my life. I am capable of being on my own. But if I am going to make space for someone in my life they better be worth a spot at the table.

There is a quote “never be afraid to fall apart; it presents an opportunity to rebuild yourself the way you wish you’d been all along.”

Yup

Love to you  Mommas, so much right now.

<3 Caprise