Category Archives: Relationships

Girlfriend Journey

The girlfriend journey …

Being a young girl looking for a place to belong outside the home can be daunting & scary and yet also exciting & fun.  To find girlfriends who are of the same mold as you, girls who have inspirations and dreams and like laughing from their bellies.  Girlfriends who like boys and tree forts and Barbie dolls.  The ones in the mix of it all who love you big, who you trust enough that you take off your mask and who don’t giggle when you talk about the things that lie deep in your heart.

It’s that way when you’re a little girl and it’s that way when you’re a grown woman.  To find a true girlfriend is a journey in and of itself.  It starts with who you are in the world though.  If you want girlfriends who are happy and outgoing and positive, you must first be that kind of person.

Imagine meeting a woman and you’re not quite sure if you want to reveal yourself, if you want to be real and authentic, so you hold back….she will feel that from you.  And if she’s out looking for a happy, outgoing, positive friend to make, she just might pass you by because of your hesitance.

Trust your heart.  Know that women want to know you!  Believe that you have value to add to a relationship and that girlfriends are right around the corner in your life.  It is up to you to recognize your own insecurities, rise above them and shine your light.  Regardless of how scary it might be.  Only through your own vulnerability will another woman be vulnerable with you.

Smile big and share yourself.    Listen with interest and speak with love.  And before you know it, you’ll have girlfriends who share your interests, enjoy your presence, and laugh from the belly with you.

-Tracy

A Little Love

There are three quotes I’d like to share with you that I have been thinking about today:

“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle. Love is a war. Love is a growing up.”-James Baldwin

“Love is an ENDLESS act of forgiveness.”-Peter Ustinov

“All things that exist in truth exist forever.”-Marianne Williamson

Most people don’t understand that in all their relationships they are the decisive element. We decide whether or not to be offended, to be loving, to be kind, to be vindictive, to be generous, to be forgiving…other people do what they do and we decide how to react to that. The mainstream seems to teach us that love feels good and that it makes you sappy and happy all the time and if you are unhappy then you must be in a bad situation be it romantic or otherwise…and so we have created a culture of folks that walk away from jobs and friends and relationships when they stop feeling “happy”…

What if real love was REAL WORK? What if loving your job, your kids, your friends, your relationships, your house, your pets, your country, your neighbors meant working to recreate that happy, sappy feeling day after day? If we thought or understood that loving is really an endless act of forgiving and giving then wouldn’t we change the way we think about it? Consider that the real purpose of us all being here together is for soul growth and not for personal gratification or indulgence of the senses…consider that perhaps it is your job to use your relationships with people to further humanity as a whole instead of just using them to see what you can get for yourself…

Imagine a culture in which people put other people before themselves as a practice instead of just once and awhile to prove that they are not small selfish clods of ailments and grievances.

So many people that I know spend SO MUCH time worrying about who they can be with and what they can get out of it…people always seem so amazed at the way that I take care of the people around me, they think me so generous…the truth is that I was taught early on that it isn’t about me…it is about what I can do for whoever is around me…it is about serving humanity to make things better for everyone…if we all lived like that what a different place this would be.

I wish that people would think prior to just reacting…I have a good friend that is recently divorced and every time his ex-wife pushes a button he reacts…he isn’t about serving her, he is about what a XXXXX she is being…I have a news flash…she will never change…he will have to change. Those people in your life that you believe deserve whatever it is that you are serving up to them…they are not really the ones being harmed by your behavior—you are. Your angst, your anger, your hatred, your unkind words…all those things you feel are valid…all of that just comes back to create chaos in your own life…negativity breeds negativity—universal law—always true…

I realize that we are not all going to start running around being nice to everyone and handing out flowers in orange robes…and I have my moments where I express my own disgust for people, places and things, however I catch myself and I know better and I keep trying to do better…that is all I am suggesting, that we think, that we look to see how we can forward the action of things instead of killing them with our negative actions and words…

The first step to changing any behavior is to first recognize it—you can’t hope to shift something that you can’t even bring to consciousness…

 

XO, Noelle

It’s Hard Being Alone

It’s hard to be alone.  How do you learn to not be lonely?  I was never alone right after my divorce. I would make plans every night that I did not have my kids. I got into a serious relationship that eventually ended.  After that ended, I went on numerous dates.  However, I was still never really alone. I would never plan a night to just be at home by myself.  That initial lonely feeling after divorce is something you can’t really explain.  I would dread not having plans or having a whole day by myself.

I knew that I needed to learn to be home alone and be ok with it.

There are so many emotions after divorce and sometimes you just don’t even know what you are suppose to do.   When I was home alone, it was deathly quiet.  I missed my kids incredibly.  I did not even know what to do when I was home alone. I had been married for 13 years and I had 3 kids, there was no time to just sit and be alone.  Plus, I was a stay at home mom for over 8 years, so I was used to being with them pretty much every minute of the day..so this intensified the lonely feeling.   The constant chatter of kids to nothing.  When I have my kids my life is crazy busy and loud, and then they leave and it’s so quiet.

So where do I start…  I had not fully watched adult TV in years, I mean I had watched numerous kids programs..but definitely not adult tv.  I felt like I really had no hobbies or anything that I really liked to do.   So, after my break up I was over, I would start walking or running at night after work.  It was the best thing for me to occupy my time and not go crazy being alone.  Going from a marriage of 13 years to a serious relationship soon after, I probably had some things to work through.. Haha you would think.. So I would walk or run or do something active.

I would clean and organize, ya I know sounds crazy.  But cleaning and organizing are things I like to do. I would organize my house.. There is a lot of organizing that can be done with 3 kids.  I would save all my projects for the week so I could do them in the evening.  I made lots of lists… I’m a list person.. But seriously can you spend the rest of your life cleaning and organizing.

I would always have music on… I love music.  No kids means you can listen to whatever you want…It honestly felt like heaven.

I am pretty sure I would also talk to myself a lot, I would work through things, and it seemed to help.  We are all a little crazy.  I think we all feel a little lost after divorce and it does take time to find your place.  I knew I needed to learn to be alone if I ever wanted to be content with myself. I knew I needed this time to figure out my areas of my life… emotions from the divorce and my breakup that I didn’t let go of yet.  Ya, that could probably take a lifetime.  But it worked… the time alone got me to put a lot of my past behind me.

And then the funny thing happened, I started to enjoy my time home alone.  The more time that past, the more I enjoy my time alone and the more I was content with myself.  Honestly, now I love the days I have to myself..I love when I have nothing to do. I say no to plans and will make time to just be by myself.  I do not feel guilty for saying “no” because I honestly love being content with myself and doing things by myself.

Snarky Divorced Gal

www.snarkydivorcedgal.com

Reclaiming My Missing Pieces

I am reclaiming my missing pieces. The first time I stopped liking something because of a broken heart I was in high school. I was a big fan of a certain variety of Liz Claiborne perfume. My ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend wore it too.  If I remember correctly I threw out almost a full bottle. It goes without saying my working class parents were livid. It was not inexpensive, but I couldn’t bear to smell like her.

In the years that followed music.

Movies

TV shows

Restaurants

Type of foods

Even certain objects.

This one is easily the most embarrassing I have a beautiful charm necklace. It’s simple but it has my three favorite things on it: a shoe, cassette tape, a unicorn.  I stopped wearing because a woman who was hitting on my boyfriend at the time was obsessed with unicorns.

As I type this I realize that was ridiculous, but when you are hurting or are hurt you find ways to run away from it. Protect yourself. Even if it means sacrificing some of your favorite things.

You know I even changed my hair because I didn’t want to have the same haircut as someone who had hurt me?

And truth be told, it’s a great haircut.

Not only do women drastically change their appearance to get over a broken heart so women give away pieces of themselves. I am starting to realize those pieces I gave away I should have held onto tightly. By tucking them away or throwing them away, I was letting the people who hurt me, hurt me even more.

I might add, that girl in high school had no idea she cost my parents $50 and I can’t imagine she’d care.

I ended up with a really awful hairstyle for awhile there.

Really awful.

The only person who suffered was me.

Sometimes it is good to give certain things up. Truly. You do need to walk away from memories or things to protect your heart, but what I’m learning in my old age is don’t give YOURSELF away.

I love unicorns. I love that necklace. I got it with one of my best friends. That is what I should focus on.

I enjoy an expensive perfume but I’ve outgrown Liz Claiborne as have millions of women.

I was listening to Brass in Pocket with my Dad long before I met that Lacrosse player who broke my heart, he doesn’t deserve our song.

There are still songs I avoid and if certain movies are on I change the channel,but now it’s because of me, not them.

Heartbreak is a slippery slope Mommas and I am by no means a sage but this is what I know…

If you love that song listen to it loudly

If that perfume smells fantastic wear it.

Be really sure about bangs.

Really sure

Those things were yours long before the heartbreak. But if it hurts too much maybe don’t toss them but find a beautiful box to keep them in until you’re ready to bring them back into your life.

In the meantime Mommas remember who you are. You are- as I like to say magical. Truly. You have other humans who count on you and love you with their whole heart regardless of what kind of perfume you wear.

 

Much love Mommas

<3Caprise

Single By Choice

One of the craziest journeys I have been on so far has to be choosing to be single. I was single by accident for a year before I chose to be single on purpose for another year before dating.

I made this decision to help in the process of bettering myself, and it has helped a lot.

Not only have I become comfortable being single it has also helped to weed out “guy friends”.

Some people never desire anything more than the thing or person they cant have.

So many of these friends found out I was single on purpose, and it went from a feeling of casual friends to feeling I had a target on my head. I’ve had to weed some of these friends out because the way they went about expressing their sudden strong interest in me was in no way appropriate and showed me how little respect they had for me.

Most of them would make inappropriate comments, one went as far as smacking me in the rear at work. It really opened my eyes to the fact of If I had not marked myself and my standards down over the years, I wouldn’t of ended up with the guys I had because I would have seen the red flags from miles away. Yes, whom I’ve dated Is 100% my fault.

For years I was pretty upset over what others have done to me, especially people that I have dated. Now i’m looking at everything with fresh eyes, I am the one who let them treat me like that, I’m the one who continuously held the door open to low quality men.

So for now I am still choosing to stay single, I am enjoying working on myself, and elevating myself. I will not have to save the person I want to be with, nor will they have to save me. That person when the time is right will understand what mutual respect is and what a healthy relationship looks like.

I am absolutely thrilled with my journey, even when the growing pains can get a little rough.

Happy and Thriving,

Ali

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

I want to hold her hand…forever.

The love of my life has been twelve for not quite a month and in that short time and especially lately, I have been taught some hard lessons.

Like I am pretty sure I need her more than she needs me.

At least that is the vibe she is sending me.

She recently was away with her Dad for a week. I texted her everyday. Her answers back were short. Meanwhile, I’m at home practically begging the dog to hang out with me. It’s not that I don’t want her to have fun, but can she miss me. A little?

She definitely laments when I feel compelled to sing loudly to music in the car, but I feel that is actually a rule for tweens.

She has remarked once or twice I dress like a teenager. But again, I feel that’s a requirement.

The punch to the guts are being asked why I am in her room. Do I plan on staying. Tucking herself in and now not even really saying goodnight to me.

Maybe I get a good morning.

If… I’m lucky.

However, the one that stung the hardest was a recent Saturday we spent together.

G & I make sure every Saturday we make plans. It can be as simple as watching a movie to as complex as a road trip, but with her fast approaching her teen years I want time with her. It’s our time to put everything away and just be.

We went and grabbed lunch and as we were getting ready to leave I asked her if she wanted to go anywhere else.

She said the mall.

I think I almost spit out my tea. My sweet girl is not a shopper. The only way she will go to Target is if I feed her and stick to a list. If we do go shopping once she is done. She is DONE.

I asked her again just so I was sure.

She said yes.

She wanted to go to Hot Topic.

There it was!

Hot Topic is her place. My free spirit loves anime and t-shirts and plushies (that’s tween for stuffed animals).

Hot Topic carries all her favorite shows and movies in some form of backpack, shirt or pin.

I sighed and said fine.

She smiled – huge.

I have always been the Mom who holds my child’s hand. Because I love her and I’m a bit overprotective.

We walk into the mall I hold my hand out which is code for grab my hand. My dutiful daughter does but also lets out a huge sigh.

I say quietly while we are walking “if it’s uncool to hold my hand I get it. You don’t have to hold my hand.”

She drops my hand and says “I’m letting go because you said I could, but yes it’s not cool.”

Mommas(!)

She must have noticed my face.

“Mom I love you, this is great. I will walk next to you.”

“Thanks, ok.” I squeak back.

We shop.

I spend WAY too much money on a t-shirt for her.

When we got home she thanked me and quickly retreated to her room.

I found her a bit later.

Asleep.

I laid next to her… she grabbed my hand and held it.

G and I continue to enter uncharted territory and it’s rough sometimes.

But this is what I know, I will be 100 and she will always be my baby, my sun, my moon, my stars, the reason I try to be better.

Even if she won’t hold my hand at the stupid mall.

Much love Mommas

<3 Caprise

Just Ask The Girl Out

Just ask the girl out…

And just like that it hit me… I was having a couple drinks with my friend and venting about a guy that had just been texting me hi over the last month and not asked me out. Texting and online dating is crazy: crazy good, crazy scary, and crazy frustrating.

I hope that texting has not ruined dating for us all. Yes, texting is great. You get to learn about a person without actually leaving your couch. You could be in a relationship and never even met in person. We have all heard the catfish stores, seen the movie… and yes, the thought goes through my head every time. And if you are just starting on an online dating site, yes we will hear and see it all.

Once you weed out the booty calls, one liners, the just plain crazy’s, and the ones that just copy & paste their message to the top 50, you might be left with someone who you are interested in. And I do believe that there can be really good matches on dating websites. So now what? When you do get off the site and exchange numbers. I have had both good and bad experiences with this.

Once you exchange phone numbers there is probably some interest to meet. I usually do not give out my phone number until I feel comfortable or have had some communication. If you want to ask a girl out, ask her out. Be direct. Don’t say, “ we should go out sometime”. We all have kids, sports, activities, jobs, lives, etc. If you want to ask me out, maybe old fashion, but I still believe that the guy should make the first move. But that’s just me…

If you have exchanged numbers and are now texting, then take the time to ask that person out on a date, coffee, or a drink. Take it to the next step. And be direct, ask for the date and time, not just sometime or next week. If the dates that you suggested don’t work, then mentioned to touch next week. If dating and possibly having a relationship is important than ask the girl to do something. Do not wimp out, take the initiative and do it. Just do it, do it, do it…Don’t waste months texting back and forth and never meeting…

Even over 40, It’s scary and no one knows if they are going to say “yes” and no one likes rejection. At this age, I still act like a shy teenager wondering if he will ask me out. However, I feel that spending weeks or months texting leads to nothing.

I believe in the saying, “shit or get off the pot”. I have gone on many dates, where the person acted completely different in real life, than via text. They were very open and talkative by text, but didn’t say a word in person. We did not have any connection in person and there was lots of dead air. Probably the worst on a date.

If you are actually interested in meeting someone and possibly turning this into a relationship than go for the date! That way you can see if you have a connection, maybe you will and maybe out won’t…Make the move!!

Snarky divorced gal (www.snarkydivorcedgal.com)

Lonely Hearts Club

The lonely hearts club is tough. I recently came across a quote: psychology says the person who tries to keep everyone happy often ends up feeling the loneliest.

There are days, more often than not I feel this in my bones.

My day job is a director of a large childcare center- so it goes without saying I take care of littles and honestly their parents.

I come home and I take care of my daughter.

I work really hard not to be a burden to others, but be available should anyone need me. I want the people in my life to be happy, even though I realize it’s an incredibly tall and unrealistic order.

Along the way, I’ve become so hyper focused on work and my daughter. I spend a lot of my downtime alone.

I have a person in my life, but our schedules make it hard to see each other.

My closest friends ….schedules sometimes don’t line up.

Also, I know I’m not alone in this. My soul sister and I had this very conversation- how alone we feel sometimes. Thank goodness we both seem to sense when the other needs a phone call.

Or one of my daughter’s friends Mom tells me as she dropped her daughter off at my house for a slumber party that she was going to see a good friend for the first time in three years!

It’s not just adults either. During said slumber party- several of the girls remarked how happy they were to see each other. It may be the only time all summer.

While I appreciate my quiet moments- too many can really start to wreak havoc on me. I need people. I need my people. I have a hard time admitting that.

I love my life and appreciate everything I have, but there are times where it’s glaringly obvious I need some adult time.

I am a strong, independent person but even us caregivers need someone to take care of us. Even if it’s to meet up for coffee for a half hour. Even if it’s to text. To call. To send a hilarious card in the mail.

Mommas fight for that time. Speak up. It doesn’t make you weak. We all need a someone and some time to just be. There is no shame in asking for those things.

It’s ok to want to talk to someone you don’t spend 24 hours with lol.

In the meantime remember who you are when you’re feeling low and lonely- you’re someone’s Mom.

That’s some magical stuff right there.

<3 Caprise

You Don’t Need A Cape, You Already Have Wings

I am here to tell you that you don’t need a cape, you already have wings…I am sitting in a silent house after a week-long spring break trip that I haven’t taken since “The Trip” back in April 2016. One would think that I would feel rested, recharged, rejuvenated. Well…. I was. Sort of.

Let me tell you about the flight home after an amazing trip with my two favorite teenage humans. Picture this, tribe… 3 solid hours of turbulence. I even considered if the pilot was on his maiden flight. This was enhanced by one terrified teenager who has a legit fear of flying and one teenager who does what all teenagers do best, slumped – passed out cold… the entire flight. Mix that in with several (and I mean SEVERAL) sick children who were projectile vomiting from the turbulence (Yep, you are absolutely correct – there is NO fresh air on an airplane) and the overwhelming and recycled stench of kiddy vomit… Is this real life? Yes. It was. It happened, and I lived through it this past weekend. Eventually, I ended up getting home and feeling like I needed a vacation all over again. Please do not get me wrong here… I am 100% grateful that I got this experience and quality time with my kids, and that I had the means to go on such a trip with them. I am blessed beyond measure, and I do not take one of those moments (or any for that matter) for granted.

Wait, wait, wait…. You’re wondering what I meant by “The Trip” that I mentioned above back in 2016. Ah. Yep, That. Well, I think its time to get over my paralyzing fears, stare it directly in the eye and decide today is the day that I keep looking forward, and quit looking back to see if the past is still there. It’s there. It hasn’t left. I can still feel it. I can still see it. I can still hear it. I can’t unsee it, unhear it or unfeel it. It’s now part of who I have become.

It was around this time three years ago (almost to the day) that my world completely fell of its axis. No, literally. My entire personal world that I lived in completely blew up. In an instant. It was the day I became a working single mom.

I’m not going to dig into any of the details, much of which even after three years are still very fresh to my heart and soul, and the cuts are still very deep and still bleed on occasion. I can tell you with 100% certainty that I was absolutely blind-sided and was not in any way, shape, or form ready for what was going to happen to my life. It was never something I had signed up for or wanted. EVER. After all, I had been the living fairytale. I married my high school sweetheart and at that point had spent 20 years of my then 36 years of life with him. We had been married for 13 years at that point and had two beautiful children. Was our life glitter, rainbows and unicorns? Absolutely not. Was it perfect? No way. But, it was MY version of perfect. It was my world. My life. My everything – – until it just wasn’t any longer. I came back from spring break with my kiddos (he did not join us on this trip) to my then hero, lover, best friend, my person, and love of my life… telling me he no longer wanted to be in our marriage. He wanted out, and he left me. MIND BLOWN. EARTH SHATTERED. To make it worse, I was told in public. In a bar. Yep. That happened.

Let’s take the 35,000 foot detour for a second, and get you caught up to speed – and get off the backstory train. I spent three long and painful years desperately trying to hold onto my marriage and save my family. I pleaded with God. I got angry. I got spiteful. I cried millions and millions of tears. I felt abandoned, hopeless, jaded – any feeling you can come up with – I assure you I felt them and I mastered them. I lost weight and shrunk faster than washing a 100% cotton shirt in scalding hot water and putting it in the dryer on high heat for an hour. Some days, I literally begged to die – because the pain inside of me was so much, so deep, so hard – I couldn’t stand another minute. Failure was not a word that was ever in my vocabulary – and here I was – the picture of failure right next to the word in good oleWebster’s.

Long story short, we divorced right before this past Christmas – and the holidays, well – let’s just say they were pretty much a blur. Kind of like when you squint and look at the lights on the tree. They are there, but you really can’t make out what it is, but you obviously know.

I have a point here, trust me – and stay with me because hopefully – there is someone out there just like me who was right where I was or is even now. I look at the day-to-day and I still hurt. I hurt when I look at my kids when we are now a party of 3 that used to be 4. I hurt when I go to bed in a king sized bed alone and hover on the far side of the bed – and wake up in the same position, barely had moved. I have good day and bad days.

When looking at it by the “days” or “moments – I have felt like I haven’t moved an inch much less a mile. However, when I look back at the last three years as a “whole” – Tribe, let me tell you – I have moved mountains I didn’t think could be moved. I have traveled so far that I can’t see where I started even though I know it exists. I have grown, stretched myself, and learned more about myself and have undoubtedly proved myself wrong every single step of the way. I have survived 100% of my worst days. TRUE STORY!

I am alive to tell the tale. To not only myself, but to my two beautiful children and any one of you that are reading this. I have cried myself to sleep. I have eaten completely alone in a restaurant. I have gone to a wedding solo. I have wondered how I can make it another day. However, I have smiled. I have laughed. I have found strength in the deepest places I never knew existed. Hell, all of this brought me here to all of YOUright here and now. I am walking side by side with you. Our arms are linked, and we are in lock step. I am one of you. We’re a tribe and let me tell you – we’re strong. We’re not going anywhere and despite what you feel (or don’t feel) inside – we got this, and not only do we – we’ll do it twice and take pictures to prove it. (Insert “Amen” here!)

Humor me and consider this for a few moments. I want you to look in the mirror. I don’t want you to worry about the bags under your eyes from the lack of sleep you got last night because your child was up sick all night or because your teenager had their first heartbreak. Don’t look at the extra curves that may surround your waistline because you have been working so hard to provide, you haven’t gotten the chance to get to the gym. It’s not necessary to look at the dry shampoo residue in your hair. What I want you to do is look past the refection staring back at you, and for God’s sake, don’t judge the woman staring back. Only you know what storms she has been through. Only you know where she has been, and where she is going. You’re the only one who has lived her life. You’re the expert of the person you see in the mirror. No one knows her better than you.

Every single day is a new opportunity to start again. Reinvent yourself. Try something new. Spread your wings. I encourage you to do so, even when you’re paralyzed in fear, or have no idea where to even start. If you want to lay in bed all day, hide from the world, and pretend that you are non-existent; go ahead, do it for a day or two. But remember, you don’t live there. You don’t belong there anyway – and it’s not a destination. Here’s why…

If I have learned anything, it’s this. You have smaller humans that are watching your every move. Your attitudes, your composure, your strength, and endurance. They are building their character traits based on your examples. We’re helping shape who they become. Albeit – there is this saying but man oh man is it a good one…. Show your daughters how to be treated by a man and show your sons how to treat a woman. You’re showing them this tribe… and guess what… you’re doing an amazing job. No matter what yesterday’s mascara has to say about it.

Keep chugging the lattes. Keep being that laundry warrior. Be who you need yourself to be for you and for them. We’re all here to cheer you on along the way, and to pick you up and carry you when you feel like you can’t. That’s what tribes do.

Until we meet again…

Jenn

How Do I Pick Out Curtains?

Who knew of all the different types of curtains that are available these days… seriously.. .All I know is that now I am picking out these things all by myself. I had rented a house with a million windows and all I needed was curtains. ughh… seems easy doesn’t it.

I spent months in the divorce process and then its final. Where do you start? What do you do with your life now? So many questions running through your head.. For months I had lived in a bubble, just getting through the day and not thinking anything else. What do you do first after your divorce? Many you have never worked or even lived by yourself, but now at age 40 you are on your own. You get to pick out your own curtains or your own furniture. You don’t have to ask anyone’s opinion, which can be exciting and scary at the same time. Or the other side is now you have no one to ask the easy questions too.. I did not know of all the small decisions I would need to make by myself.

I had lived in a bubble for so long. Going through all the emotions and then when the divorce process starts It takes over your life. And once its final, you have to stop and think what do I do now. I think we all get ahead of ourselves and want to build this new life so fast. I think the best advice I can give anyone that is starting over after divorce is to take it slow and learn about yourself. It’s hard for me to remember the days or months right after my divorce, I think I was in such a bubble or daze throughout the process that it’s hard to remember all the changes. It was being on constant autopilot and no time to process the changes that I was going through. We all want to put our kids first and make sure they are happy, however its so important that we are learning to be happy also.

Take time to really learn about what you now want. Some days will really suck, you learn you need to do things all by yourself. You might have never picked out your own curtains, so this is new to you you and it might take you a day to make that decision or it might take you months…either way, it doesn’t matter because you did it. Some days you might want to lay in your robe until 2pm and do nothing, and you can… You can take the time and do what you need. Start figuring out what you want in your life for you.

You might make one decision by yourself and you should celebrate. Something that seems so small might be your biggest accomplishment. Take the wins!!

Snarkydivorcedgal (www.snarkydivorcedgal.com)