Category Archives: Lifestyle

Becoming Successful

When we truly start on a journey to become successful, we must dig in deep on our personal development. Success isn’t determined by our environment or our circumstances. It isn’t determined by our education, our parents or blood lines.

Success is determined by our willingness to do whatever it takes, and following through with that bill. Now most people when they hear whatever it takes they relate it to changing people places and things around them, they don’t look at themselves.

Here’s the deal, you can change everything around you, but if you don’t change you, you will recreate the environment you’ve been trying to escape from repeatedly.

The biggest Influential, Leverageable variable in your life and in your success is YOU. Personal development is an essential key to unlocking everything you want in life. Its not the half-baked oh i’m going it go listen to this seminar, or read this book and my life is going to change; No  it requires you to radically and continuously work on yourself. Becoming disciplined ways that will help you grow with boost your self confidence.

Developing character is no easy feat. Service of others is essential in the life of anyone who wishes to be successful. Ambition without service is greed and the world doesn’t respond well to greed and neither does our character. Greed feeds all the negative aspects of character, fear, anger, pity. We want to develop a good character not a bad one.

Gather knowledge on how to improve yourself constantly. I highly recommend, if you don’t have one already, getting a library card. If you have one use it. Grab a book a week and check out their online resources, you will be amazed on what your library has to offer now a days.

Keep Growing your Beautiful Life One Decision at a Time,

Ali

How Do You Do It All?

I get asked all the time how I do it.  “It” referring to working full time, taking care of a household, and raising four boys each with a different personality. I used to struggle and question my parenting style; for example do I parent like I was raised or do I parent like society says I should parent.

Then not so long ago I had an ephiany. I realized I need to keep doing what I’m doing. When my two younger boys, ages 12 and 14, are at each other’s throats, I try and remain calm and ask them what happened. Most of the time they talk and yell over each other and in the end I’m the one yelling.  That is okay because after some self reflection I tell myself I will try and do better the next time.

The truth is there is a combination of things that go into how I parent, work full time and take care of my household.  First of all, I pray for patience, patience, and more patience. Second, I do my self care routine. My routine consists of putting my kids to bed and watching TV or getting on social media.  I also like to go to the tanner or go for walks with friends. I realized long ago self care is not selfish. I know I cannot be there for my job or my kids if I’m a hot mess. Humor is also a very important piece of my daily routine.  I laugh at myself several times a day. Like when I’m looking for my phone while it is in my hand or when I am shopping and jump when I see my reflection in a mirror and say excuse me thinking it was another person.

I have to remember I am human and I am not perfect.  Mistakes are made daily and that is okay, because I am blessed beyond measure and I get to wake up every day and try again.  If I can tell myself at the end of the day that I put everything I had into being the best that I can be I know my kids will turn out okay.

 

Yours Truly,

Anne Smith- A Working & Single Mother

Tell A New Story

Organize into a new story.

I can hear you now as you start to purge, declutter and organize your home…

”Oh but my son wore that when….    Oh but my daughter made that for me….  Oh but my mother, but my father, but my best friend, my teacher, me……”  or is it  “I got that at the fair… I won that for…. I bought that when…I made that….”

There goes the story you keep telling yourself about every THING you just can’t seem to part with.  It’s time to change the story.  Give it new meaning, give it a new ending, give it a new feeling, give it a new energy.

“Oh that was my grandmothers she’d be so upset if I got rid of it and…” “Oh that’s from when I was in kindergarten…” “I won that in a contest in junior high for…”

GENTLE REMINDER : If you part with the “thing” you’ll still have the memory in your heart & your mind.

Today….release what you can, keep what you MUST.  Begin to work through the barriers that keep you from being successful, that keep you from living fully and being prospering or barriers that simply keep you stuck.  Organize the piles, files and to-do lists.  Create new systems to keep things together. Begin a new habit of putting things where they go so you can find them when you need them.  Purge, declutter, organize one drawer at a time, one closet at a time, one file at a time.  Just be sure to begin.  Begin somewhere today so tomorrow has less stress less chaos, less drama, less burdens.  And for goodness sake when you hear the voice in your head go on and on about the What’s and Why’s and Who’s.  STOP!

Let it go. Free yourself. Stand strong & breath. Tell yourself a new story.

Your God Girl,

Tracy

You Don’t Have To Be Perfect

You don’t have to be perfect…

Aside from being a Mom, a teacher,  and writing for this incredible page, I also host a radio show.

Once in awhile my daughter co-hosts. We have a strict recording schedule so it’s important we get to the studio on time. As it got closer to going the other morning I went to G who was on her iPad and told her time to go. She didn’t really move.

I continued to round up our stuff. G was still on her iPad. I tapped my watch “ we gotta go”

“Ok,ok…”

We got ourselves together and got to the station with time to spare as we always do.

As we were sitting down getting ready to record I said sorry to G and told her I just hate to be late.

G proceeded to tell me I reminded her of these little robot dogs from her favorite graphic novel series who are always running around.

I freak out about the littlest thing. When I don’t need to, it will be ok.

I said “I just want everything to be good and go smoothly.”

To which my beautiful old soul told me that I need to be more like her and relax. Those little things don’t matter and I don’t need to be perfect.

It’s days later and those words are sticking in my head. I am actually considering a new tattoo.

I’m kinda not kidding. You know how badly I needed to hear that? Especially from her. I have mentioned this before. I have a lot of Mommy guilt. The massive amount of guilt that I have held onto is by no means gone, but I think moving forward I won’t beat myself up so much.

I will work on taking a step back. Slow down. If I’m being honest this is all going so fast and I feel like because I worried so much about being perfect, things being perfect I missed out on things with her.

I worry about her entering her teenage years and being mad. I never thought to think I was spinning around so much tightening corners and straightening crooked pictures (my analogy for my life) that she might not be mad but just breeze by.

That to me would be much worse.

Good, bad or otherwise she is my sun, moon and stars and I was so busy building a perfect universe I forgot to enjoy it.

So every night I go sit on her bed and ask her about her day until she kicks me out of her room.

I let her pick the music in the car so we can sing along.

I found a Mother/Daughter journal so even on those days she won’t talk at least she’ll write.

But most importantly I heard her. I hear her. I listen.

I don’t have to be perfect, the most important person in my life said so.

And neither do you Mommas.

<3 Caprise

Something New Is Coming

It’s time to organize and make room for something new.  If you’re all full… things in every corner, pictures on every wall, piles of things that you’ve collected over the years….. There is NO ROOM for something new to come in.  The energy is either stagnant or stale or just flatly content.

Purging, tossing, sharing, recycling, releasing, donating…all of that…it’s so important to do…. not only for your sanity, your sore back, your stress-filled energy & your heavy-laden shoulders….BUT also so new things can come to you. If your space is full of clutter, chaos, old memories, hand-me-downs, excess, mama’s antiques, papa’s war photos, chachkies, memorabilia, stuff, stuff & more STUFF….there is no room…I’m talking NO ROOM for new opportunities, ideas, movement, concepts.  Nada.

Why?  Because your already full. Full Up. Full Up with everything and anything that may mean something or may mean nothing at all.  So you haven’t made the time to get it handled.  Now sounds like a good time to start ,right?  Take a look around you and choose somewhere to start.  If you haven’t looked at it, needed it, or even remembered you even had it, that’s a good indicator that it’s time to pass it on.  And passing it on is a good way to give to someone who maybe has nothing.

Move it on, pass it down, throw it out, give it away.  Whichever works for you.

Stuffed drawers, overflowing files, busting-at-the-seams closets, duplicates, triplicates, an abundance of things you don’t use.  Make a list of the different spaces you’d like to clean up.  Make a list of how you’ll feel if things were different.  Then start with one thing.  Just one.  Get it done and cross it off the list.  Smile at your success and see what new is coming your way.

‘Cuz it’s coming.

 

Your God Girl,

Tracy

Take Care Of Your Energy

Over the years it seems as if i’ve grown tired and sicker, and it has seemed no matter what I do. I’d eat healthier, and exercise, and listen and take any and all the advice I could get my hands on and I’d either feel the same or some times worse. I was taking care of my physical body, but completely neglecting my energetic/ spiritual body.  We are all Energy- Spiritual beings having a human experience. At the end of all of our stories our physical bodies will be gone, Yet we focus so much on priming out physical all while ignoring the invisible true core of self.

More recently I had my first reiki session. I was sceptical, but intrigued. I was also out of options. I have tried everything and I have been on a steady health decline. I booked an hour session, In the hours leading up to my session I had the worst flair I have ever experienced. Pain through my neck and shoulders and a fog that just wouldn’t go away.

During my session I felt my pain melting away, And I felt fuzzy all over like someone had wrapped me in a fuzzy blanket. After I felt light- mentally, emotionally and physically. My pain was gone, and I was so alert that I went for a drive for fun.

I am sharing this experience so that anyone who was like me who has been struggling, never give up. I highly recommend Reiki for many, many reasons after feeling the difference. I am by no means saying it will cure or treat any medical condition, but it is worth looking into to heal our energy.

I am blessed and grateful to be able to write for all of you!

Always be unapologetically true to yourself-

Ali

Reconstruct Your State Of Mind

Reconstruct Your State Of Mind.

Imagine for a moment that we lived in a world where people actually understood that the words they speak go forward to create their future.  In that world there would be very little complaining or negativity and how peaceful it would be.  If you were to ask me what I thought was the most important lesson for you in this book my answer would be for you to fully understand that your words, thoughts, feelings and actions create your future.

What we spend our time thinking about, talking about, listening to, looking at, reading and watching all have great bearing on what is created in our lives.  Understanding this gives us great power.  If your current circumstances are unsatisfactory it is well within your reach to change them.  All you need is a little reconstruction coaching.

HINT: If you think it, if you speak it-

 IT WILL COME TO PASS

 

Direct Your Thoughts

Start to direct your thoughts to what you want more of instead of spending time thinking about what you don’t want more of.  Stop complaining about the things that aren’t working.  You have to acknowledge the things that aren’t working so that you can correct them; however, there is no need to complain to everyone about them as this will only create more of whatever the problem is.  The first step in this process is to merely become conscious about the words that you are speaking.  Are you grateful?  Do you constantly complain?  Are you always talking about what’s wrong?  Do you speak ill of others?  Do you praise and acknowledge people?  Do your words inspire people?  Do your words hurt people?

Once you have a clear picture of the kind of talking you are doing you can take actions to alter it.  Begin to sprinkle some gratitude into your speaking, talk about what went right for the day, make an effort to see the good in situations and speak about that.  You have the ability to direct your life and your future by directing your thoughts.  You can change your whole outlook on life by simply changing your speaking.

Fake It Till You Make It

In the beginning, doing linguistic surgery on yourself will be extremely uncomfortable as your thoughts will still be the same old moldy ones from the past and your new words will seem stupid.  This is where you fake it till you make it.  Feelings follow thought so direct thought — direct feeling.  After awhile your new thoughts will turn into new feelings.  For instance, you will start to talk about how successful you are and pretty soon you will feel like a success and then the circumstances for you to become a success will materialize.

Remember the movie ‘Field of Dreams’ when Kevin Costner’s character built the baseball field and he just kept saying it would work.  Everyone thought he was crazy and he just kept right on saying it would work and it did.  Real life is actually like that for those of us that understand Universal Principles.  You begin by speaking what you intend and then you start moving into the thoughts, feelings and actions that will bring it into being.  Lots of times in the middle of doing this you will appear to others as stupid and they may even feel sorry that you are so committed to what they think is a pipe dream.

Think of all the success stories you have heard, they all started out as an idea that had no background of obviousness.  Somebody had the thought and they backed it up with feelings and actions and they brought it into being.  So can you.

An excellent way to push yourself into new thought patterns is to do affirmations.  Find or write affirmations that talk about how you want your life to be and then spend a few minutes each day reading them.  I have been doing affirmations since I was 12 years old and these days I spend 20-30 minutes a day doing them.  I have included some of my favorites in this book.  An affirmation is a statement that affirms what you want to have happen.  As in:

-I am healthy.

-I am successful.

-I am losing weight everyday

-I am grateful.

-I leave behind old states of mind

-I create a future unlike the past

Saying or reading affirmations is a great way to re-train the mind into thinking things that will move you forward into a prosperous, healthy future.

A Little Gratitude Goes A Long Way

There are so many things to be grateful for and yet most people demonstrate very little gratitude for anything.  Expressing gratitude is the quickest way to bring good into your life as what you praise naturally increases.  In addition to changing your speaking and thinking, practicing gratitude is a required component for rejuvenating your life.  The very act of gratitude is regenerative to the soul.  For those of you that aren’t sure what gratitude or being grateful actually mean here are Webster’s definitions:

Gratitude:  a feeling of thankful appreciation for favors or benefits received; thankfulness

Grateful: feeling or expressing gratitude; thankful; appreciative

When you find yourself in a bad state of mind start mentally listing the things that you have to be grateful for and yes there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for.  Taking the time to think about what you are thankful for instead of thinking about what you are suffering from will allow miracles to occur in your life.

I remind myself to practice gratitude daily by making a list every night of what I am grateful for.  You can even be grateful for things in advance to help bring them into being.  I was grateful daily for my weight loss long before it manifested itself.  I keep a gratitude journal in my bedside table and I make myself write something in it every night.  This is another discipline that I force myself to practice and there are days that I don’t like this one either.  On bad days I feel hard pressed to get to gratitude so on those days the list is short, however it is still there.

Practice some gratitude and I promise that your acts of thankfulness will return to bless you many times over.  It is also a great idea to teach children the skills of being grateful as early as possible given that they are our future.

From the Inside Out

True and long lasting change will occur from the inside out and must begin as an idea.  Once you have the idea of changing you begin to put a plan in place and the workable plan includes changes in thought patterns, speaking, surroundings, company that you keep, feelings that you have and behaviors that you practice.  The first change occurs inside you as you begin to see yourself in the new way.  As you see yourself newly you begin to speak and think differently which will cause you to take different actions.  Inner behavior starts to change and as a result outer circumstances will follow suit.

It doesn’t work to try and start change from the outside in.  If you changed your outer circumstances without reconstructing your state of mind the changes wouldn’t stick.  You can only rejuvenate your life from the inside out as your current circumstances were brought on by your current state of mind.  Therefore, if you want to change your current circumstances you must first change your current state of mind.  Remember that creation occurs in the unseen (mind) and manifests itself into the seen (reality).  In other words, whatever you are creating in your mind with your thoughts and feelings will bring itself into manifestation.  If you think you are unworthy and poor you will create that.  If you think and feel fat and unhealthy you will create that.  If you have the power, why not just create yourself as a success?  A fit and healthy success that is.

Some of these ideas may be new to you and may seem a little strange, however I promise you that they work when properly applied as I have been actively using them since I was 12 years old.  I encourage you to do your own research and give them a try; it certainly can’t hurt to be positive and grateful, right?

~Noelle

**From Noelle’s book, “Practical Change…8 Ways to Rejuvenate Your Life”

SNAP-Mood Change!

Did you know there’s a connection between the condition of your living space & your surrounding environment WITH your mood & your stress level? The connection happens unconsciously. You may not even realize WHAT it is that has you feeling OFF. A cluttered environment saps your energy, robs your creative flow, sucks out your positive attitude & steals your precious time. It slows down your productivity & outcomes and fills your mind with emptiness. And you ask “How’d THAT happen?’

Your living conditions could very well be the culprit to your boredom, upset, complacency, etc.

Living in, working in or just being in physical chaos… it changes your mood ** SNAP ** like that !

You don’t wake up and say, ‘my day is going to be havoc today’…it just happens. As you go about your morning you find yourself asking…. ‘Where are my keys?’ ‘What did I do with that letter?’ ‘Where is Johnny’s other sneaker?’ And before you know it, you’re behind schedule, talking to yourself and walking around in circles. You woke up in a good mood, ready to take on the day and ** SNAP ** like that you’re going down the rabbit hole.

And Sometimes it’s a lot harder to deal with the negative mood than the actual task of organizing your space. BUT the chaotic space will keep you there and make it even harder. Do you feel overwhelmed, burdened and stuck? If you can step out and start with one small drawer, one closet, one counter….. it very well could – if you let it – snowball you into another and another and another. And the next thing you know, you’re space is inviting, it flows better, and you’re happy. Allow clarity to replace clutter. Create a place for everything and put everything in it’s place Guess what…that’s better than half the battle…..it demolishes the battle. You find things in a *SNAP **.

It’s time to get back on track with a more efficient, harmonious space AND the next thing you know… you have a more efficient, harmonious life!

 

Your God Girl,

Tracy

XXOOXXOO

Self Care-SOS!

If you follow this page regularly the topic of self care comes up pretty often. It will probably continue to come up as it seems to be a hard one for people.

In particular -parents

Moms especially. There are whole memes devoted to this very thing.

For whatever reason some of us are hard wired to believe if we take a moment we are being selfish. I’ll even take it one step further some of us, we don’t even know how to ask for help. Or say I’m hurting, I need a break, I need help, I need a hug.

Me. Ok, I’m referring to myself. But I’m pretty confident quite a few of you reading this struggle with it too. For me I never want to be a burden, appear weak, or put anyone out. So I usually just keep powering through until I can’t.

I’m here to tell you that is not the best way to go.

Typically it means I get horribly sick. So I have gotten better about going to bed early. Rather than staying up trying to make everything picture perfect. Baby steps in the process.

I am a bit envious of people who are able to openly say things suck. Some even on social media. I’m hesitant to go that route though. I have an acquaintance who regularly laments her life. Reactions are varied. Which is why I and I think other people sometimes just dig in and keep on keeping on.

I don’t want to appear negative or needy or not capable. I have been on my own so long, even with my own parents it can be hard to ask for their help when I’m sick.

To put it in perspective I get chronic migraines, rather than just tell people I have a migraine I have to cancel. I say I’m not feeling the best. I’m too embarrassed to say I have a headache.

That’s silliness. I know, but somewhere along the way… I was made to feel I shouldn’t ask.

To REALLY put in perspective I have had two really serious health and family things happen recently. Maybe two people know. And that’s because one noticed I seemed not myself and the other I had to ask to be my emergency contact.

As parents, Moms, wives, partners, friends, sisters, daughters we are working so hard at being the sparkly rock of support, care and love for everyone else we sometimes don’t know how or forget it’s ok to ask for help.

It’s ok.

Really

You are not any less you for needing a moment or a hand. In fact you’re tougher for knowing to ask. Rather than letting it explode. Take it from the fire starter writing this.

In the last few years I’ve been incredibly fortunate in that my circle is teaching me it’s ok to ask.

This week was tough and my body retaliated in kind. For the first time in a long time I had someone making sure I was ok. My heart is still full from it.

The love and care you give out- Mommas, it’s beyond ok to get that back. But in case you forget I’ll be here reminding you.

❤️

Caprise

When The Road Gets Tough Keep Going

When it gets tough,I find myself at a crossroads internally, even after all of my growth over the last year, all the healing, and all my past struggles. I finally feel like I am moving forward. At the same time I feel like there is something I’m missing, Or I’m waiting for the “catch”. Any time in the past that i’ve experienced something good there were strings or a catch attached to it. It will take some time before I belive 100% that its not coming.

I am learning and practicing daily gratitude, and structuring myself. All the changes going on are good and I feel more and more of a gap between the lingering toxicity in my life whether it be people or situations.

Growth isn’t easy, and it can be painfully bitter sweet. The people and things I would give anything for has dramatically changed over the last year. Who I am has dramatically changed over the last year, and even though these are both in a good way, I now have to learn who I am.

Dating at this point in my life is straight up out of the question for me. Not only would a relationship be distracting for my career at this point as I am still making my structure, organization and productivity a habit, but I am also unsure of exactly what I want in a person.

Some of the old traits are still initially attractive to me but once I try to get close the rose colored glasses shatter and I see all the red flags. I refuse to settle again. Just because something is shiney to begin with, or familiar doesnt mean its what I really want.

I need to keep tending to myself, and be selfish. Selfish with my time energy and save the best parts of me for myself and my children. It has taken me 30 years of being a selfless door mat to realize, the value of a person is affected by how much they value themselves. If you keep discounting yourself no one else will give you the respect you deserve.

 

Always be unapologetically true to yourself,

Ali