Category Archives: Lifestyle

Tell A New Story

Organize into a new story.

I can hear you now as you start to purge, declutter and organize your home…

”Oh but my son wore that when….    Oh but my daughter made that for me….  Oh but my mother, but my father, but my best friend, my teacher, me……”  or is it  “I got that at the fair… I won that for…. I bought that when…I made that….”

There goes the story you keep telling yourself about every THING you just can’t seem to part with.  It’s time to change the story.  Give it new meaning, give it a new ending, give it a new feeling, give it a new energy.

“Oh that was my grandmothers she’d be so upset if I got rid of it and…” “Oh that’s from when I was in kindergarten…” “I won that in a contest in junior high for…”

GENTLE REMINDER : If you part with the “thing” you’ll still have the memory in your heart & your mind.

Today….release what you can, keep what you MUST.  Begin to work through the barriers that keep you from being successful, that keep you from living fully and being prospering or barriers that simply keep you stuck.  Organize the piles, files and to-do lists.  Create new systems to keep things together. Begin a new habit of putting things where they go so you can find them when you need them.  Purge, declutter, organize one drawer at a time, one closet at a time, one file at a time.  Just be sure to begin.  Begin somewhere today so tomorrow has less stress less chaos, less drama, less burdens.  And for goodness sake when you hear the voice in your head go on and on about the What’s and Why’s and Who’s.  STOP!

Let it go. Free yourself. Stand strong & breath. Tell yourself a new story.

Your God Girl,

Tracy

You Don’t Have To Be Perfect

You don’t have to be perfect…

Aside from being a Mom, a teacher,  and writing for this incredible page, I also host a radio show.

Once in awhile my daughter co-hosts. We have a strict recording schedule so it’s important we get to the studio on time. As it got closer to going the other morning I went to G who was on her iPad and told her time to go. She didn’t really move.

I continued to round up our stuff. G was still on her iPad. I tapped my watch “ we gotta go”

“Ok,ok…”

We got ourselves together and got to the station with time to spare as we always do.

As we were sitting down getting ready to record I said sorry to G and told her I just hate to be late.

G proceeded to tell me I reminded her of these little robot dogs from her favorite graphic novel series who are always running around.

I freak out about the littlest thing. When I don’t need to, it will be ok.

I said “I just want everything to be good and go smoothly.”

To which my beautiful old soul told me that I need to be more like her and relax. Those little things don’t matter and I don’t need to be perfect.

It’s days later and those words are sticking in my head. I am actually considering a new tattoo.

I’m kinda not kidding. You know how badly I needed to hear that? Especially from her. I have mentioned this before. I have a lot of Mommy guilt. The massive amount of guilt that I have held onto is by no means gone, but I think moving forward I won’t beat myself up so much.

I will work on taking a step back. Slow down. If I’m being honest this is all going so fast and I feel like because I worried so much about being perfect, things being perfect I missed out on things with her.

I worry about her entering her teenage years and being mad. I never thought to think I was spinning around so much tightening corners and straightening crooked pictures (my analogy for my life) that she might not be mad but just breeze by.

That to me would be much worse.

Good, bad or otherwise she is my sun, moon and stars and I was so busy building a perfect universe I forgot to enjoy it.

So every night I go sit on her bed and ask her about her day until she kicks me out of her room.

I let her pick the music in the car so we can sing along.

I found a Mother/Daughter journal so even on those days she won’t talk at least she’ll write.

But most importantly I heard her. I hear her. I listen.

I don’t have to be perfect, the most important person in my life said so.

And neither do you Mommas.

<3 Caprise

Something New Is Coming

It’s time to organize and make room for something new.  If you’re all full… things in every corner, pictures on every wall, piles of things that you’ve collected over the years….. There is NO ROOM for something new to come in.  The energy is either stagnant or stale or just flatly content.

Purging, tossing, sharing, recycling, releasing, donating…all of that…it’s so important to do…. not only for your sanity, your sore back, your stress-filled energy & your heavy-laden shoulders….BUT also so new things can come to you. If your space is full of clutter, chaos, old memories, hand-me-downs, excess, mama’s antiques, papa’s war photos, chachkies, memorabilia, stuff, stuff & more STUFF….there is no room…I’m talking NO ROOM for new opportunities, ideas, movement, concepts.  Nada.

Why?  Because your already full. Full Up. Full Up with everything and anything that may mean something or may mean nothing at all.  So you haven’t made the time to get it handled.  Now sounds like a good time to start ,right?  Take a look around you and choose somewhere to start.  If you haven’t looked at it, needed it, or even remembered you even had it, that’s a good indicator that it’s time to pass it on.  And passing it on is a good way to give to someone who maybe has nothing.

Move it on, pass it down, throw it out, give it away.  Whichever works for you.

Stuffed drawers, overflowing files, busting-at-the-seams closets, duplicates, triplicates, an abundance of things you don’t use.  Make a list of the different spaces you’d like to clean up.  Make a list of how you’ll feel if things were different.  Then start with one thing.  Just one.  Get it done and cross it off the list.  Smile at your success and see what new is coming your way.

‘Cuz it’s coming.

 

Your God Girl,

Tracy

Take Care Of Your Energy

Over the years it seems as if i’ve grown tired and sicker, and it has seemed no matter what I do. I’d eat healthier, and exercise, and listen and take any and all the advice I could get my hands on and I’d either feel the same or some times worse. I was taking care of my physical body, but completely neglecting my energetic/ spiritual body.  We are all Energy- Spiritual beings having a human experience. At the end of all of our stories our physical bodies will be gone, Yet we focus so much on priming out physical all while ignoring the invisible true core of self.

More recently I had my first reiki session. I was sceptical, but intrigued. I was also out of options. I have tried everything and I have been on a steady health decline. I booked an hour session, In the hours leading up to my session I had the worst flair I have ever experienced. Pain through my neck and shoulders and a fog that just wouldn’t go away.

During my session I felt my pain melting away, And I felt fuzzy all over like someone had wrapped me in a fuzzy blanket. After I felt light- mentally, emotionally and physically. My pain was gone, and I was so alert that I went for a drive for fun.

I am sharing this experience so that anyone who was like me who has been struggling, never give up. I highly recommend Reiki for many, many reasons after feeling the difference. I am by no means saying it will cure or treat any medical condition, but it is worth looking into to heal our energy.

I am blessed and grateful to be able to write for all of you!

Always be unapologetically true to yourself-

Ali

Reconstruct Your State Of Mind

Reconstruct Your State Of Mind.

Imagine for a moment that we lived in a world where people actually understood that the words they speak go forward to create their future.  In that world there would be very little complaining or negativity and how peaceful it would be.  If you were to ask me what I thought was the most important lesson for you in this book my answer would be for you to fully understand that your words, thoughts, feelings and actions create your future.

What we spend our time thinking about, talking about, listening to, looking at, reading and watching all have great bearing on what is created in our lives.  Understanding this gives us great power.  If your current circumstances are unsatisfactory it is well within your reach to change them.  All you need is a little reconstruction coaching.

HINT: If you think it, if you speak it-

 IT WILL COME TO PASS

 

Direct Your Thoughts

Start to direct your thoughts to what you want more of instead of spending time thinking about what you don’t want more of.  Stop complaining about the things that aren’t working.  You have to acknowledge the things that aren’t working so that you can correct them; however, there is no need to complain to everyone about them as this will only create more of whatever the problem is.  The first step in this process is to merely become conscious about the words that you are speaking.  Are you grateful?  Do you constantly complain?  Are you always talking about what’s wrong?  Do you speak ill of others?  Do you praise and acknowledge people?  Do your words inspire people?  Do your words hurt people?

Once you have a clear picture of the kind of talking you are doing you can take actions to alter it.  Begin to sprinkle some gratitude into your speaking, talk about what went right for the day, make an effort to see the good in situations and speak about that.  You have the ability to direct your life and your future by directing your thoughts.  You can change your whole outlook on life by simply changing your speaking.

Fake It Till You Make It

In the beginning, doing linguistic surgery on yourself will be extremely uncomfortable as your thoughts will still be the same old moldy ones from the past and your new words will seem stupid.  This is where you fake it till you make it.  Feelings follow thought so direct thought — direct feeling.  After awhile your new thoughts will turn into new feelings.  For instance, you will start to talk about how successful you are and pretty soon you will feel like a success and then the circumstances for you to become a success will materialize.

Remember the movie ‘Field of Dreams’ when Kevin Costner’s character built the baseball field and he just kept saying it would work.  Everyone thought he was crazy and he just kept right on saying it would work and it did.  Real life is actually like that for those of us that understand Universal Principles.  You begin by speaking what you intend and then you start moving into the thoughts, feelings and actions that will bring it into being.  Lots of times in the middle of doing this you will appear to others as stupid and they may even feel sorry that you are so committed to what they think is a pipe dream.

Think of all the success stories you have heard, they all started out as an idea that had no background of obviousness.  Somebody had the thought and they backed it up with feelings and actions and they brought it into being.  So can you.

An excellent way to push yourself into new thought patterns is to do affirmations.  Find or write affirmations that talk about how you want your life to be and then spend a few minutes each day reading them.  I have been doing affirmations since I was 12 years old and these days I spend 20-30 minutes a day doing them.  I have included some of my favorites in this book.  An affirmation is a statement that affirms what you want to have happen.  As in:

-I am healthy.

-I am successful.

-I am losing weight everyday

-I am grateful.

-I leave behind old states of mind

-I create a future unlike the past

Saying or reading affirmations is a great way to re-train the mind into thinking things that will move you forward into a prosperous, healthy future.

A Little Gratitude Goes A Long Way

There are so many things to be grateful for and yet most people demonstrate very little gratitude for anything.  Expressing gratitude is the quickest way to bring good into your life as what you praise naturally increases.  In addition to changing your speaking and thinking, practicing gratitude is a required component for rejuvenating your life.  The very act of gratitude is regenerative to the soul.  For those of you that aren’t sure what gratitude or being grateful actually mean here are Webster’s definitions:

Gratitude:  a feeling of thankful appreciation for favors or benefits received; thankfulness

Grateful: feeling or expressing gratitude; thankful; appreciative

When you find yourself in a bad state of mind start mentally listing the things that you have to be grateful for and yes there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for.  Taking the time to think about what you are thankful for instead of thinking about what you are suffering from will allow miracles to occur in your life.

I remind myself to practice gratitude daily by making a list every night of what I am grateful for.  You can even be grateful for things in advance to help bring them into being.  I was grateful daily for my weight loss long before it manifested itself.  I keep a gratitude journal in my bedside table and I make myself write something in it every night.  This is another discipline that I force myself to practice and there are days that I don’t like this one either.  On bad days I feel hard pressed to get to gratitude so on those days the list is short, however it is still there.

Practice some gratitude and I promise that your acts of thankfulness will return to bless you many times over.  It is also a great idea to teach children the skills of being grateful as early as possible given that they are our future.

From the Inside Out

True and long lasting change will occur from the inside out and must begin as an idea.  Once you have the idea of changing you begin to put a plan in place and the workable plan includes changes in thought patterns, speaking, surroundings, company that you keep, feelings that you have and behaviors that you practice.  The first change occurs inside you as you begin to see yourself in the new way.  As you see yourself newly you begin to speak and think differently which will cause you to take different actions.  Inner behavior starts to change and as a result outer circumstances will follow suit.

It doesn’t work to try and start change from the outside in.  If you changed your outer circumstances without reconstructing your state of mind the changes wouldn’t stick.  You can only rejuvenate your life from the inside out as your current circumstances were brought on by your current state of mind.  Therefore, if you want to change your current circumstances you must first change your current state of mind.  Remember that creation occurs in the unseen (mind) and manifests itself into the seen (reality).  In other words, whatever you are creating in your mind with your thoughts and feelings will bring itself into manifestation.  If you think you are unworthy and poor you will create that.  If you think and feel fat and unhealthy you will create that.  If you have the power, why not just create yourself as a success?  A fit and healthy success that is.

Some of these ideas may be new to you and may seem a little strange, however I promise you that they work when properly applied as I have been actively using them since I was 12 years old.  I encourage you to do your own research and give them a try; it certainly can’t hurt to be positive and grateful, right?

~Noelle

**From Noelle’s book, “Practical Change…8 Ways to Rejuvenate Your Life”

SNAP-Mood Change!

Did you know there’s a connection between the condition of your living space & your surrounding environment WITH your mood & your stress level? The connection happens unconsciously. You may not even realize WHAT it is that has you feeling OFF. A cluttered environment saps your energy, robs your creative flow, sucks out your positive attitude & steals your precious time. It slows down your productivity & outcomes and fills your mind with emptiness. And you ask “How’d THAT happen?’

Your living conditions could very well be the culprit to your boredom, upset, complacency, etc.

Living in, working in or just being in physical chaos… it changes your mood ** SNAP ** like that !

You don’t wake up and say, ‘my day is going to be havoc today’…it just happens. As you go about your morning you find yourself asking…. ‘Where are my keys?’ ‘What did I do with that letter?’ ‘Where is Johnny’s other sneaker?’ And before you know it, you’re behind schedule, talking to yourself and walking around in circles. You woke up in a good mood, ready to take on the day and ** SNAP ** like that you’re going down the rabbit hole.

And Sometimes it’s a lot harder to deal with the negative mood than the actual task of organizing your space. BUT the chaotic space will keep you there and make it even harder. Do you feel overwhelmed, burdened and stuck? If you can step out and start with one small drawer, one closet, one counter….. it very well could – if you let it – snowball you into another and another and another. And the next thing you know, you’re space is inviting, it flows better, and you’re happy. Allow clarity to replace clutter. Create a place for everything and put everything in it’s place Guess what…that’s better than half the battle…..it demolishes the battle. You find things in a *SNAP **.

It’s time to get back on track with a more efficient, harmonious space AND the next thing you know… you have a more efficient, harmonious life!

 

Your God Girl,

Tracy

XXOOXXOO

Self Care-SOS!

If you follow this page regularly the topic of self care comes up pretty often. It will probably continue to come up as it seems to be a hard one for people.

In particular -parents

Moms especially. There are whole memes devoted to this very thing.

For whatever reason some of us are hard wired to believe if we take a moment we are being selfish. I’ll even take it one step further some of us, we don’t even know how to ask for help. Or say I’m hurting, I need a break, I need help, I need a hug.

Me. Ok, I’m referring to myself. But I’m pretty confident quite a few of you reading this struggle with it too. For me I never want to be a burden, appear weak, or put anyone out. So I usually just keep powering through until I can’t.

I’m here to tell you that is not the best way to go.

Typically it means I get horribly sick. So I have gotten better about going to bed early. Rather than staying up trying to make everything picture perfect. Baby steps in the process.

I am a bit envious of people who are able to openly say things suck. Some even on social media. I’m hesitant to go that route though. I have an acquaintance who regularly laments her life. Reactions are varied. Which is why I and I think other people sometimes just dig in and keep on keeping on.

I don’t want to appear negative or needy or not capable. I have been on my own so long, even with my own parents it can be hard to ask for their help when I’m sick.

To put it in perspective I get chronic migraines, rather than just tell people I have a migraine I have to cancel. I say I’m not feeling the best. I’m too embarrassed to say I have a headache.

That’s silliness. I know, but somewhere along the way… I was made to feel I shouldn’t ask.

To REALLY put in perspective I have had two really serious health and family things happen recently. Maybe two people know. And that’s because one noticed I seemed not myself and the other I had to ask to be my emergency contact.

As parents, Moms, wives, partners, friends, sisters, daughters we are working so hard at being the sparkly rock of support, care and love for everyone else we sometimes don’t know how or forget it’s ok to ask for help.

It’s ok.

Really

You are not any less you for needing a moment or a hand. In fact you’re tougher for knowing to ask. Rather than letting it explode. Take it from the fire starter writing this.

In the last few years I’ve been incredibly fortunate in that my circle is teaching me it’s ok to ask.

This week was tough and my body retaliated in kind. For the first time in a long time I had someone making sure I was ok. My heart is still full from it.

The love and care you give out- Mommas, it’s beyond ok to get that back. But in case you forget I’ll be here reminding you.

❤️

Caprise

When The Road Gets Tough Keep Going

When it gets tough,I find myself at a crossroads internally, even after all of my growth over the last year, all the healing, and all my past struggles. I finally feel like I am moving forward. At the same time I feel like there is something I’m missing, Or I’m waiting for the “catch”. Any time in the past that i’ve experienced something good there were strings or a catch attached to it. It will take some time before I belive 100% that its not coming.

I am learning and practicing daily gratitude, and structuring myself. All the changes going on are good and I feel more and more of a gap between the lingering toxicity in my life whether it be people or situations.

Growth isn’t easy, and it can be painfully bitter sweet. The people and things I would give anything for has dramatically changed over the last year. Who I am has dramatically changed over the last year, and even though these are both in a good way, I now have to learn who I am.

Dating at this point in my life is straight up out of the question for me. Not only would a relationship be distracting for my career at this point as I am still making my structure, organization and productivity a habit, but I am also unsure of exactly what I want in a person.

Some of the old traits are still initially attractive to me but once I try to get close the rose colored glasses shatter and I see all the red flags. I refuse to settle again. Just because something is shiney to begin with, or familiar doesnt mean its what I really want.

I need to keep tending to myself, and be selfish. Selfish with my time energy and save the best parts of me for myself and my children. It has taken me 30 years of being a selfless door mat to realize, the value of a person is affected by how much they value themselves. If you keep discounting yourself no one else will give you the respect you deserve.

 

Always be unapologetically true to yourself,

Ali

Embrace Yourself For Yourself

Embrace who you are.

It’s easy to feed into the negatives of becoming mature and beyond but let’s acknowledge there is some positives.

Aaagghh the blessed relief of just being yourself! With maturity comes that awesome stage where you can  just be yourself .You have given up pretence and are starting to accept the real you. For example I have given up the idea that to be productive you have to be a morning person .There are those that love the mornings ,up all bright-eyed and sparky however I have embraced the night owl in me.In the past I would have set myself busy morning goals forcing myself to race around to reach them meanwhile feeling at my worst for the day.In the morning my spirit animal is a sloth,slow moving and blinking in the sun versus a quick, alert owl at night. Now in my Forties I am realizing , I DON’T HAVE TO ! I can rearrange things most days so that when not working I can laze about in the morning and refuse to feel guilty.I have achieved a lot in the evenings and hope the new realisation brings more.

Experience also gives you the ability to see beyond first appearances, to look deeper and see the moral , character and  humour of someone.It gives you the chance you look for what you really want in friends and other relationships.Experience teaches you the people in life who make you genuinely laugh are treasures.

The joy of knowing your own mind, likes and dislikes. It is a freedom from the early years when one was more prone to worrying about others opinions and just wanting to  be the same as your friends.The need to please has “left the building”.You start to embrace all your weird and wacky ways and love each and every one of them.An appreciation for uniqueness and individuality begins.You know what you want and you wont be talked out of it.If I want to give up wearing mascara after years of itchiness,  , wear what I want not according to trends, read late into the night ,watch British mysteries on TV and sleep in, I WILL….I know what I like to watch, eat, read and where I enjoy going, so all that adolescent angst about who you are is over.You know who you are and the freedom is in giving into that.Embrace all that is you!

~Toni~

Age Ain’t Nothing But A Number

Age ain’t nothing but a number…

One of my favorite quotes is from Coco Chanel

“you can be gorgeous at thirty, charming at forty, and irresistible for the rest of your life.”

I have riffed about aging before and my struggles, really more my gripes lol.

I have now sat firmly at 47 for three months and I’m still trying to figure out our society’s fascination with aging.

And not necessarily in a good way.

Articles about what women over 40, even 30 should and shouldn’t do.

Cover your gray, don’t cover your gray.

Memes about aging punk ladies – yup that one stung.

Cougars(!)

Friends,

Can I tell you a really big secret? Like it’s huge?

I was a moron in my 20’s.

My 30’s so much change, crazy, crazy change.

My 40’s. I’ve landed.

I’m comfy about 80% of the time.

20% I wish I was 21 sitting next to Eddie Vedder at Lollapalooza.

Yes, that did happen.

But then I wouldn’t have my daughter, my friends, a job I love.

Also, milestones are different for EVERYONE. I have friends who adored high school. I didn’t hate it,but my happy memories were built in college.

I have friends who were BABIES when they had their babies and I have other friends who decided to wait until their 40’s.

I guess where I’m trying to go with this, is aging is a beautiful thing. If you all could see how much my haircuts alone have improved, you’d say “yup Caprise, you’re onto something.”

Each wrinkle and gray hair is a memento of a memory, a battle won.

You know what else age has given me?

A sense of calm.

I recently had a very scary situation with a group of girlfriends and I was able to diffuse the situation.

21 year old of Caprise would have broken out in hives.

47 year old Caprise was cool as a cucumber.

Again, this is just me- but I’m gonna be real. I like me so much better now. I still can be wobbly now and then- but a few cycles around the sun and motherhood have given me the ability to see I can handle a lot more than I ever thought I could.

As for those articles and memes…

I’m gonna wear leopard print as a neutral.

I’m going to keep getting tattoos until I run out of ideas or skin. Sorry Mom!

I am going to continue going to concerts.

Have dates with my friends.

Love on my daughter.

Buy the shoes.

Eat the pizza and as Coco said be irresistible or pretend like I am.

But most of all remember age ain’t nothing but a number.

 

As always much love Mamas.

<3

Caprise