Category Archives: Lifestyle

Let Those Grudges Go

Grudges. The old me…circa 2016 and back…100% held grudges. It’s all I knew. Or maybe it was what I was forced to know. What it did was cost me my first marriage, and countless mistakes after that. Then one day my wife (new marriage) told me it, along with my bitterness for life, it was one of the things she hated most about me. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Along with the wondering why she married me to begin with, so many questions flooded my existence. Circumstances had made me that way. The many years of continuous hurt and betrayal from so many people I had given my heart to had turned me into stone. What a reality check and more importantly an awakening.

And so I committed to myself, and those I loved, to change. And I did. I absolutely changed. I let all the negative that had been drowning me go. And slowly I fought my way back. I learned to forgive. And I did it. But along the way of forgiveness, somehow I ended up with a broken heart all over again. Was this how it was supposed to be? Really? I had fought an internal battle to change my hardened heart, all for it to happen all over again?

Over the past two years I have fought through some of the darkest days of my life. Places I never thought I would be, I have been. I don’t think I will ever understand the reason, the why’s or the how’s, nor will I ever run out of tears when my mind wanders back in remembrance. They flow uncontrollably. What I do know is that I have to stop questioning it, and somehow find the strength to leave all of it behind once and for all, let go of the grudges. My life has to have some kind of purpose, and while I may not know what that is right now, I have to believe that one day I will find it. I will not revert back to being bitter. And when it comes to two people; as far as forgiveness goes, it will never work if one person forgives and the other does not. I know what side I was once on, and more importantly I know what side I was on in the end. All that’s left for me is to close the door and never walk through it again.

Keep on keeping on!

Virtual Hugs,

BLag

Why Is It So Hard To Be You?

How do you just be you? I do not know where to start with this one without sounding like a crazy… I have not never felt more like myself than I do now. I am not sure why… or how… but I finally feel like the person I was years ago. This might be hard to explain..

I was married for many years and throughout most of my marriage I did not feel like I could be myself. I was trying to be perfect. What is it about being perfect and why do we feel we need to be perfect at times… perfect job, perfect body, perfect life…

I loved my life, however I was just not myself. I always felt like I was trying to live up to someone I was not. I felt like I was always trying to please someone. I am not a perfect mom or person. I tried to be perfect for many years.. I mean I tried to make homemade baby food, I tried to make craft projects off of Pinterest, and I tried to throw the best kid birthday parties.. The truth is, none of that is me.. I love my kids and I would do anything for them. But I am not the perfect mom… nor do I want to be.

I was a stay at home mom for many years and I did love it, however I might sound crazy or like a bitch, but I feel you also lose a part of yourself. I volunteered for Sunday school, PTA, field trips, etc ..thinking this is what I should be doing. I was even on the PTA board and it was definitely not for me… After many years and my kids were older, I was bored. I would try to create projects. I felt like I didn’t know what I wanted to do or that I didn’t really do anything important. I was trying to find myself again and didn’t know where to start. I wanted to feel important again.

I have no idea why I thought I had to be perfect all the time. I did not grow up that way, but I think over time I changed to be someone I wasn’t. I think it took years to get back to my old self or the person I am…I have just learn to let things go. I do not get worked up about all the things in life that don’t really matter. I do not feel like I need to make it to every event or have my kids go to every event. Sometimes we just need to stay home.

Slowly, I started to make my own decisions without feeling guilty. I had to learn to just say no to things I really did not like. Maybe they were things I had pretended to like for years. I realized I am more comfortable with a smaller groups. I do not like crafts. I do not like cooking. I do not like home projects. I like music. I like concerts. I like sitting outdoors…. So many of these things I neglected for many years. Mostly because I felt I would just go along with everyone else and not speak up for what I wanted. Or I felt guilty for wanting to do something I wanted. I finally realized that I didn’t have to live up to anyone or their expectations. I was myself.

I have learned that I do not get worked up over things now..I am late for everything and I have accepted it. Years ago, I would be yelling over and over again because we were

late. Then I realized, I have 3 kids and we are just never going to be on time for anything.

I am myself with my kids now. I probably let them stay up later than they should. I do not have them involved in every activity. My daughter wears the same clothes everyday almost, we wash them at night and she wears them again. Why? Because it’s easier and what does it matter…

It’s hard to learn to feel comfortable just being yourself. It’s hard to not worry about being the perfect mom, or wife, or perfect everything. I have learned that I do not worry over as much anymore. Somehow it works out. Maybe not how I wanted it, but it works out. I have learned to let a lot go, and I can be myself.

Thank you for reading…

Megan

Snarkydivorcedgal

Sum Sum Summertime

Another summertime day to spend with the sun on your face. Seriously?” you grumble, “When will I have time for that?Between phone calls and laundry piles and errands, on your lunch break at the office, in the pickup lane at the school waiting for the kids and on a Sunday between church and meeting your girlfriends for lunch. Yes. Yes. And yes.

Give yourself five minutes whenever you can. Sit with your face to the sky. Draw in all the wonder of the sunshine. Soak up the heat and the beauty of the sun. As it brightens your face with a natural D3 glow…. It just might brighten your mood.

Do you feel better when you look in the mirror and see some rosy cheeks, or tawny skin, or freckles speckled on your nose? Whatever you see looking back at you, the sun has a way of brightening the day, changing the mood and enhancing that self love, self talk, self adoration stuff. …..It really does.

I remember when I was a little girl, I used to love going to the beach. Running through the waves, building sand castles and burying my sister waist high…. but most of all… the sun was the best part. It made me feel energetic, full of life and unstoppable. I always wondered what it must be like to be a mermaid, able to bask in the sun with no chores to do, no school bus to catch and no reason to change your clothes. So amazing, right?

The joy that I got from playing in the sun brought me to a place that only the sun could do. Now as an adult I beg for 5 minutes in between everything. To turn my face to the sky, to bask in the beauty of the heat & be reminded that a simple joy… is right here. Yay for Summertime!

Your God Girl

Tracy

Same You, New View

Personal development is just a better view

When we think of spiritual or personal development we think of changing going onward and upward. What I am finding it is going inward. It is raising your personal awareness, and fine tuning your self management. Growing as a person and achieving our dreams and goals has everything to do with our self awareness, other people and our circumstances have literally no control unless we give it to them.

Victim, What do you think of when you hear that word? I used to be the victim. I had the victim mentality. Oh how could this or that person do this to me, or oh i’ve been through this that or the other; poor me. Victim mentality is a crutch to shield us from our personal responsibility to life.

Everyone has been through something, been hurt or slighted by something or someone.

While our trauma and our wounds may not be our fault, our healing and growth is our responsibility. Staying the victim isn’t a real option and it will muddy our perspective, stop our growth; keeping us trapped in never ending cycles of hopelessness and despair.

To break free of the vicious victim cycle we need to become self aware, go inward deal with the past and then leave it there. Once we become aware of ourselves we can manage ourselves. When we focus on everyone outside of us our world will shift to chaos.

When we go inward, we will gain new tools at each level of the process, and oh boy it is a process! The more aware I am becoming of myself, the more things im catching myself on, the less people behavior trigger me, the more calm and discerning I am.  I still have a lot of development to go, I will always be growing. 

I for one am enjoying the new view, How about you?

Learning, Loving Growing

Ali

Consistency Eludes Me

Don’t look at yourself upside down…as in when you are doing the downward dog yoga pose…the skin on my thighs looks like it belongs to an elephant and so now I am going, like WTF?!

Also I have decided that coffee IS a food group. Now that we have established those two things we can move on to today’s blog…

What keeps us from achieving certain goals that we set for ourselves? Why can we be super disciplined about some things yet not at all about others? Why are there some things that it seems like we can never make a dent in???

These are the questions that I am asking myself this evening—- I am a REALLY high producer, people hire me to make things happen—-yet I have been struggling with the same two stupid things for literally a decade and I am so freaking SICK of it. For all of my training and forward thinking I have been seemingly unable to be consistent month after month and year after year with two things—-

  • A daily TO DO List
  • Sticking to a weekly workout plan

Just to be clear, I have days, weeks and even months where I do each of these things like clockwork and then something will happen and a day gets skipped and then I have fallen off the wagon again—- then starts my cycle of self-loathing because I am not consistent etc etc.

I am very convinced that the next level of my life will only come to me as a result of mastering these two items. I feel better when I am doing these two things as if they are a habit— I feel more on purpose and more productive…however consistency with them continues to elude me —- as you know I am working on a new book for you guys which will give you the tools to “change the game” and of course as I am thinking through the book content process I see that I will have to set about mastering these two things so that I can walk you through what it looks like to finally master something that has been an issue for so long. This motivation is actually a gift, thinking of all of you will make me stick to my resolve even when I don’t want to—-you guys are my WHY…and truly that is a blessing.

Armed with a new planner and a new workout program, I have started again on my quest to master these two items. The important thing is to simply keep going, because of course that is all there ever is to do. Just keep going, keep at it, keep moving—-no matter how long it takes you will get there and so will I—- stay tuned for my progress—-have a great week.

 

XO,

Noelle

Who Has Your Steering Wheel?

God’s got mine. Does the thought of it raise the hairs on the back of your neck? OR Do you welcome the thought and take a deep breath knowing you can relax on your journey of life? I find it to be very comforting.

Especially growing up in a home where all the details had to be explained, all the plans had to be set in motion, all the unknowns had to be questioned. There was no room for spontaneity or last minute interruptions…. without a grumble. There were no wrong-doings, excuses, or changed stories without sighs of anguish & upset. The plan was the plan was the plan.

Somewhere along the way… things changed for me. The rug was pulled out from under me and everything changed. I was humbled that’s for sure. I was sharpened, recreated, and filled with grace. I had a new way of being, planning, thinking and doing. I had created a new reality for myself. It was beautiful & it worked.

There were times when I wanted something, wanted to go somewhere, wanted to plan a the next best thing for myself. And I remembered… I was not driving the bus. I was not at the wheel. God was.

I know that if it is not to BE, doors will not open for me, no matter how bad I WANT it. If it’s not where I’m being led, if it’s not how I’m being molded, if it’s not where I’m headed…. It is NOT happening. And I’m at peace with that.

I’m grateful every day that I don’t have to have everything all figured out. That I don’t have to have all the answers right now. In the storms and in the sunshine, in the trials and in the triumphs… I turn to Him for answers and trust His Ways are far better then mine…. any day.

Your God Girl,

Tracy

We Are Limitless

What would you do if told you that you cannot create abundance? You cannot create abundance because it is already and always there. We instead create and impose limitations that keeps us away from our abundance. We are limitless.

The universe, God, the source, whatever it may be for you, always has what we need or more for us, ready waiting for us to reach, and achieve it. Our perceived limitations are the only thing that is stopping us.

This is why perception checking is a must. We can not expect to prosper living in negativity, for we will block anything we are attracting to us. 

I’ve noticed on my own personal journey and growth many many obstacles. I am a kind, loving, and generous person. The thing that boggled my mind is im such a good person, but yet i keep getting screwed over, again and again. Trying to figure out why I knocked myself out of a place of abundance and started basing my value on how others treated me and thought of me.

I more recently figured out my issues, I was allowing low vibration individuals into my circle, these people that have no desire to work on themselves would much rather knock people lower than them. Hence the term Misery loves company. I was allowing these type of people to measure myself worth and lets just say with them of the wheel it kept measuring up short.

Negativity steals abundance and so does non growth in fact these two things together are deadly to a fulfilling and abundant life.

After the last two years of getting rid of my own personal ick, I am finally realizing abundance is a constant natural state. That I place my own limitations and outcomes of abundance, and I can have it all if I allow myself to. I do not need someone to define what success, worth or abundance is for me because I found my path I see my roadblocks and i’m moving forward hammer in hand ready to tear down anything in my way.

Loving learning growing,

Ali

Hello Sadness , My Old Friend

Sadness comes. It is inevitable, as it is part of life. It is part of who we are as women living on this earth experiencing loss, upset, fear, change, etc. It comes from that place deep in our hearts where something matters. Where we believe so strongly about something, that being shaken rips at the core of our being. The tears that come, fall from that place behind our eyes that we sometimes cannot put to rest. Sadness may come slowly at times and other times it just jumps out at you when you least expect it and knocks you down. It may stay for a few moments or it may linger. AND ,It is what you do IN the sadness that will liberate you or drag you down.

You must dig deep. Deep into your strength. Deep into your file full of accomplishments, successes & worth. Dig deep to remind yourself what you’re made of & what you’re capable of doing & who you are. As your God-girl…I pray with the sadness. I reach out to my girlfriends and get support. I read my affirmations and look at my Vision Board. I make a new Vision Board. lol I open my Bible and read. I re-read a favorite book. I am reminded of my greatness and that this sadness is just a hiccup in the road of life. I BE with it, look at what is good, and pull myself up by my bootstraps.

Be with the sadness and remember to not let it get a grip of you. Remember to breath & breath & breath still, to trust once again, & to remember that you are strong and courageous and all WILL work out. Sadness just is. And as I’ve heard people say ….This Too Shall Pass”.

Your God Girl-

Tracy

No One Has It Together

I have a big fat, mind blowing, earth shattering, life changing reality check for you. It’s something that took me a long time to realize and even longer to embrace. It’s also something I have to remind myself of on a regular basis!

Are you ready for it?

Really ready?

No one has their shit together. Not me, not you. Not your pastor, banker, mayor, doctor, librarian or hair dresser. Not your neighbor across the street whose entire yard and house make the homes from the latest edition of Home and Garden look sad and pathetic. Not the president of the PTA who is on every committee, and at every bake sale. Not your college roommate who just landed their dream job. And not even your brother’s, girlfriend’s, cousin’s, neighbor’s uncle that just won the lottery.

Newsflash! Everyone has something in their lives they want to be different. Just because their lives look great on the surface, doesn’t mean they have it all figured out! That neighbor with the perfect house may be struggling with overwhelming anxiety and OCD, and their spotless home and yard are how they cope. (Or may be a sign they AREN’T coping!) The PTA mom might be throwing herself into volunteer work because her marriage is falling apart. Your college roommate may have gotten their dream job, but also just got diagnosed with cancer. And let’s be real here, when has winning the lottery EVER actually solved all of someone’s problems?

It has taken me YEARS to get to the point where I no longer have to fight the urge to laugh in someone’s face, when they tell me that I inspire them or that they look up to me. My internal reaction is still “Oh honey, if only you knew!” Now, however I am able to step back and see what they see. A strong, capable, single mom with special needs kids, who works full time, finds time to volunteer, goes to church (albeit irregularly), gets to the gym (also irregularly) and manages some semblance of a social life. What they don’t see are the days that my anxiety is overwhelming, the times I lose my temper on my kids, the fact that my housekeeping style is best described as “there appears to have been a struggle” or the fact that I quite literally live on caffeine and carbs most days because I honestly can’t remember the last time I woke up feeling rested.

The more you start really connecting with other people, the more you realize that their lives aren’t as perfect as they appear on the surface. The stronger the person appears the rockier their past usually is. What you see is someone strong, and brave. What they feel is broken and defeated. Every time someone tells me they finally feel like they have their ducks in a row, they get hit with a life changing curve-ball. Heck, the entirety of my last few years has been one huge curve-ball after another!

Don’t get me wrong, by no means am I saying not to try! What I am saying, is cut yourself some slack. Stop comparing your journey to other people’s, and start appreciating the life you have. Stop striving for perfection and start being proud of your progress. If you aren’t satisfied with a certain aspect of your life, find a way to change it.

So, go out there. Grow. Heal. Learn. Embrace your beautiful disaster of a self. And most importantly, remember no one really has their shit together. We are all just winging it.

Embrace your perfectly imperfect self,

-Charli

https://thechroniclesofchuck.home.blog/

Everything In Its Place

When my son, who is now 22, was a little boy, I was allllll about “THERE’S A PLACE FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN ITS PLACE.” That was more for me than it was for him or for anyone else, really. You see, I didn’t want it to take 20 minutes for us get out the door every time we had somewhere to go.

When we were going to “Mommy & Me”, I wanted to know where my purse and his jacket and his firetruck were. At my fingertips, there had to be his bestest friend “Freddie” and his car snack bag & his play bag. “What about the bag of hand me downs for the other boys?” Oh AND MY COFFEE. Etc etc etc. Until WHOOSH, we were out the door in no time flat. That’s why I put things in their place.

If everything is where it belongs…. it takes no time to get everything together and go.

Life just works better when you’re organized…. and on purpose with your life. You show up on time AND you’re in a happier mood because you weren’t running around the house like a banshee looking for everything, everywhere. You didn’t have to open and close the closet door 5 times, you didn’t have to look under the bed…again. It’s all right there . The kids and all you need….are out the door with you.

The most important part in this is to let the kids put their things where they go…not you. And when they ask “HEY MOM….where’s my xyz?” You can tell them “It’s where you left it.” They will learn on their own along with your teachings and guidance how important it is to keep things tidy…..Especially when mom says “The bus is leaving in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1” And you walk out the door.

Your God Girl,

Tracy