Category Archives: Lifestyle

Release The Hold

Release the hold….

Have you ever had one of those days that before you even get out of bed, the to-do list is beyond long?  You muster up the courage to get out of bed and start the day only to find more is coming at you?  More requests, more questions, more changes.  At what point do you say no?

Maybe the no’s should have started yesterday with all the things you added to the list for today.

We do not have to say yes to everything, every time to everyone.  Release the need to say yes when we mean no, release the need to have approval from others, release the desire to be so busy we don’t have to face the true feelings, release release release.

It is not going to be easy. People expect certain things from us.  They expect a certain behavior – that we have trained them to expect.  So now, we have to retrain them by releasing what does not serve us any longer.  They may not like it.  They may ridicule and complain and huff & puff about it.  BUT they’re state of mind and happiness is not your concern.  YOURS is.

Release the people, places and things that bring you stress.  Say no to the things that do not serve a higher purpose in your life.  Walk away from situations that pull you down, drag you backwards and take away your personal power.

Only when you release will there be room for something new to come along.  Imagine…. You have 10 things on your to-do list today.  Ten ridiculous errands/chores that add no value to your life, but you want to be a good mother/friend/employee/etc… so you said yes to all of them.  THEN an event comes along that would excel your business, or teach you to reel in your back talking child, or give you the tools to be your #1….AND you cannot go, because your day is full up & all filled in.  There’s no room for anything of value.

Release and make room!

Your God girl,

Tracy

What Are Your Hobbies?

What are your hobbies?  I have hated that question since I was in school.  I have no hobbies…How do you start doing things you for you?

Last Spring, I decided that I needed to do something for myself. I needed to start getting back into things.. And by things I mean, hobbies, activities, or something that I loved.  I was married for over 13 years, you have kids, and then you stop doing things that you love.   I think we all experience that part of life even with being divorced or not. Having kids is great, but you have to give up many things in the process. I stayed home with my children for many years, so over time I forgot the things that I loved. Or I would feel guilty for wanting to do them.. Yes, the mom guilt.

I love music.. I love concerts…I love working out.. I love golf.  I started to think about all the things that I had really enjoyed in life and had not enjoyed in so long.  It had been years since I had done a lot for myself.  Or even put myself first.

I had golfed after college and even did my internship at a golf resort, but after having kids I had not done it in years. I had missed it.  Being outside with friends and a few drinks in the summer felt so heavenly.   I knew a friend that was in a women’s golf league and so I decided to join. I did not have a partner and I only knew a few people in the league, this was way out of my comfort league.  I usually gravitate towards smaller groups and people that I know.  I was scared to death… what if my partner was a golf pro, what if she wasn’t fun, what if she didn’t sneak drinks on the course… All these things were going through my head.  I like to know what to expect and this was all new…I am a woman in her 40’s that is freaking out about meeting new people.  Yep, just like high school it never changes.

Well I did it, I joined the league and somehow I got placed with a partner that was just recently divorced with kids.  All of my fears were put aside the moment I meant her.. I mean she suck “truly’s into her golf bag.  A girl after my own heart!  We really suck at playing golf, but we have so much fun. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason and this was it.   I mean sometimes its pretty much dark before we get off the course..haha.  We golfed each week and could talk about our divorce, frustrations, dating, etc.. we became great friends.  I can not tell you how great it felt to do something again that I am doing for myself and that I love.

Every Tuesday from May through September I golf in a women’s league.  This is what I do for myself. Yes, I do golf league even when I have my kids. I am not a bad mom for not spending every moment with my kids and I have learned that you do need to put yourself first at times.

It just think its important to start doing things, activities,  hobbies, etc. for yourself.  Find the one that you love or might learn to love.. And do it.  You might have to start from scratch and find something you enjoy..might be something completely different than the old you. Lets face it, you are different.

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/

I Need Another Plan

It’s six months to my birthday, and I find it hardly coincidental that today I have launched an effort to find purpose and a plan for my life. I know this because for some crazy reason, shortly after I arrived to my desk at work, I decided I needed to examine every life planner known to mankind.

I started on Pinterest, where all the best data and comparison shopping information can be found. Eventually, I began Google searching some of the information I found on other sources and then I moved onto price comparisons on Amazon, of course. I may be less emotional and domestic than many women, but the last two sentences I think can testify that I am, in fact, a card-carrying female.

Planners have very little to do with anything except that here I am, six months from my birthday and I need a life change, a’ la Eat Pray Love (yes, the movie). I need to discover who I am, I need a project, a goal, a way to focus my energies on self love, self discovery and adventure.

Planner shopping was a symptom of a greater problem…. I need a plan, not another planner.

Last week, I thought about becoming a travel writer, and while the very idea of that is enthralling to me, I don’t feel like I am “there” yet. I mean, I’d jump at that chance in a heartbeat, but while I am still figuring out how to pay my bills, I think buying a plane ticket could be putting the cart before the horse.

But taking the most important journey of my life doesn’t really require me to even leave my own neighborhood. And this all important journey is going to take me to some pretty exciting, life changing, and maybe scary places too!

I am starting the Journey of a Lifetime, by traveling into my own heart and soul and mind. I’m going to spend the next six months journaling, drawing, practicing self love, seeking, exploring, and discovering … me. That’s my life plan. No life planner required.

As with any good adventure, I don’t know exactly where this journey will lead. I don’t know what roads I’ll travel, what milestones I may find or what roadblocks I will surely stumble upon, but I know it will get me closer… daily closer… to knowing myself and finding what lights my soul on fire. And isn’t that what we all want?

Who wants to come along for the ride? I could use a travel buddy.

-Sharona

Experiencing a Setback? Push Forward

Experiencing a Setback? Push Forward.

After a lengthy hiatus from writing, I’m back and am as ready as ever to trudge ahead towards my goals, and ultimately, my dream. It’s amazing how easily a setback—big or small—can discourage us or even stop us from our goals and what we have set out to do. . .if we let it.

For me, it started out as a simple yet paralyzing case of writer’s block. Yes, writer’s block—it is a thing. All my fellow writers out there will completely understand. My head was flooded with ideas on what to write about, but as soon as I’d sit to put those ideas into words, I had nothing. Nothing!

While the writer’s block was enough to make feel as if I were up to my neck in quicksand, it was a phone call I received from my website hosting provider that really did me in. Two words: malware infection. Now I really was at a complete standstill.  Because of the malware infection, my site was shutdown. Completely. I couldn’t even access my own content. The countless hours I put into developing my website and creating content, now seemed like it was all for nothing.

At the time, I was on a very strict budget and couldn’t afford the hundreds of dollars I was told it would cost to get back up and running. I broke down into tears. This roadblock set me back for months. I felt like giving up, but I knew I couldn’t. After further research, I found a very affordable security company to go with, and I was back up and running within 24 hours. Finally!

Remember Why You Started

Regardless of how much passion we may have for something or how determined we are to attain the goals we have set for ourselves, it becomes a little too easy to lose sight of our purpose or just completely give up when things don’t go as planned. Remind yourself why you started in the first place. We don’t put blood, sweat and tears into something for the heck of it. What are your end goals? Your purpose?

Re-evaluate Your Goals

Setting unrealistic goals can lead to further frustration, making the likelihood of executing them even less. This is when it becomes necessary to re-evaluate your goals and/or set new ones; ones that are more attainable.

Once we have fallen off-track, it can become extremely difficult to get back on, especially as more time passes. Sometimes it requires taking baby-steps to get us to where we want to be. Remember, we must crawl before we walk; walk before we run. Keep in mind, progress is progress no matter how small.

Victories Must Be Celebrated

After re-evaluating and/or setting new goals, reward yourself. Victories must be celebrated. Don’t forget, small victories are still victories and are noteworthy. Oftentimes it will be these small victories that will not only carry you through the more difficult times, but will also boost your motivation and self-confidence. And, who doesn’t need a little boost once in a while? It will also be these small victories that will lead you to the bigger ones. Sounds like a win-win to me!

Hold Yourself Accountable

Ah yes, accountability. . .something we all need in our lives. Whether it’s creating a schedule, a checklist, or even leaving yourself post-it notes throughout the house—I’ve done all three—holding yourself accountable is a surefire way to success. The best part is, you don’t have to do it alone. You can always find an accountability buddy to give you that extra nudge if needed.

Final Thoughts

In closing, I would like to offer some words of encouragement. Whatever your passion, purpose or goals are, never give up. Will it be easy? No. Will everything go as you planned? Absolutely not! But, you can do it. Anything worthwhile is worth fighting for. The only thing you will regret is not trying.

“A setback is a push forward in disguise” ~ LMD

~ Lindsey

https://farfromahousewife.com/

How To Deal And Navigate The Unexpected

Navigating the Unexpected

Nothing unseats us faster than things we don’t expect—events, circumstances or communications that we weren’t planning for, these are the things that have the capability to throw you if you allow it.

These unexpected events can range from an unwelcome communication to some event concerning our job or children that wasn’t in our master plan.  When this stuff pops up the first thing that we want to do is REACT which usually includes a fair amount of emotion and that never really leads us to a good place…

Unexpected happenings are designed to challenge us and often we allow them to steal our joy and take away our peace of mind, we give into the panic, drama or worry and within minutes we are ‘down the rabbit hole’ and off into all the ‘what if’s’— this methodology is a recipe for disaster…

All seemingly unwelcome events come to teach us something and they come to PASS and not to stay—how fast they pass really depends on our response to them.  We cannot control what comes our way, however we CAN control how we deal with it and how much of our energy we expend on it.  I believe that everything has something to teach us and the faster we are open to the lesson the faster we can move out of the circumstance.

Our response to our lives is KEY, I often tell you that what we call a thing it becomes so if we start calling some circumstance horrid or a travesty or insurmountable then that is exactly what they will become.  When things don’t look the way you want them to you have two choices—one complain about them to anyone who will listen and lament about how horrible your plight is OR you can choose to know that somewhere in it there is good and you can start saying things like “I know what to do and I do it”, “solutions present themselves to me”, “Divine Order is present here and now” and my favorite “every day in every way things are getting better and better for me now”.

Since I have been pushing that affirmation with you guys these past few Sundays on the FB live, I have started using it more myself.  Today when my daily prayer partner asked me how I was on our morning call instead of listing out all my grievances I just said you know what “every day in every way things are getting better and better for me now” and they laughed and I laughed and said, “I could list out for you all my seeming problems today, however what the hell difference would it make?  So I am just going with this statement as my answer— how I am today is better and better and I am sticking to that all day.”

So far, so good and it is 12:34pm at the moment—- I mean shit what do I have to lose, right?  I teach this stuff, it works, I tell you to do it—so instead of giving voice to my complaints I am doing it too.

It is all what we make of it—- if I list out all my crap then I only give it more power and I KNOW this for SURE.  The best place that you can be is peaceful within yourself—no HIGH highs, no LOW lows—if you can remain at peace knowing that whatever is displaying itself to you is only temporary then you will achieve a level of self mastery that most people never see.  It is a difficult thing to do and takes practice, yet do the work on yourself and you can get there.  I still work on this myself regularly—-it gets easier to quell your reactions with time.

So for this week strive to keep yourself in a peaceful place and know that unwelcome circumstances don’t come to stay, they come to pass.

 

Join me for Coffee Chat, Sunday on FB live at 10am est.

See you then.

-XO, Noelle

The Cabin

The Cabin..…so grateful… little did I know when my parents bought our cabin 30 years ago it would be the place that I love so much.  It is the place to go that makes everything so clear… It is one of the things that I am so grateful to have in my life  And honestly,   Its not the place, but the experience.

Most of my high school years were spent riding with 6 people deep in a Delta 88 for 3 hours… packed like sardines and we only stopped once. We all dressed in winter gear because my dad kept the air conditioning on so cold.  My dad has his rules and everyone knew it.  You also got to bring one bag and anything else went on your lap.

Even back then, the cabin could take all my stress away…the cabin is where I spent every weekend with my friends tubing and water skiing until we couldn’t hold on anymore. I would come home sunburned and sore… we spent all night playing the broom game and badminton.. we would lay by the bonfire until morning. The cabin is where we first drank alcohol and smoked cigarettes. It’s also where we learned to fill my parents liquor bottles with water.

Every 4th of July celebration was at the cabin with my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins… the famous jart tournament, where someone always got hit by the end.  My uncle always broke something… Turkey on the grill, Devon’s potatoes, along with special K bars were tradition.  And we always celebrated birthdays at the cabin, along with my annual summer cabin party.

And now 30 years later, my kids get to experience the freedom of the cabin. I love to tell them the stories of my summers… but what I love more is watching them experiencing it.

The time they get to spend with their grandparents is priceless. They get to listen to stories from the past. They get to her the endless stories of “Hatchet Hannah” the crazy lady in the woods from my dad.. it’s still told the same way he told me 30 years ago.  My kids get to experience yard games and bonfires.. they get to enjoy the freedom of the outdoors. They spend weekends with their cousins making so many memories. They are learning to water ski and bait hooks.

When I hear them playing the same games by the bonfire that I played 30 years ago, I just smile and laugh… even with all the technology and changes kids are still the same… they love games, the freedom, and laughing until all hours….

My kids need this time at the cabin…. I try to keep my kids lives as simple as I can… but they are busy. The cabin takes them away from all the craziness and stress… they need downtime and simplicity just as much as adults. So some weekends we skip activities and commitments, just to go to the cabin.   They need to experience nights of running outside and playing yard games, laughing by bonfires, and swimming for hours until they are exhausted.   I am hoping the cabin will make them forget the stress and chaos that they face at home.  Maybe they will forget about the constant running from activity to activity throughout the week.  And forget about the pressure from trying to be the best at everything these days and take some time to enjoy just being a kid.

My kids will experience and learn so much from these summers.  They will probably not realize it until years later, but they will eventually.  And my kids will make their own memories to tell their kids years from now…

Thanks for reading!

Snarky

https://www.snarkydivorcedgirl.com/

All My Guilt Tucked In A Suitcase

All My Guilt Tucked In A Suitcase…

There are two sides to every story, two sides to every coin, and two sides to every single parent.

I constantly feel torn between the mother in me and the single woman in me.

How do I balance it?

Am I giving each side enough attention?

I am grateful that my kids have fathers in their lives that allows me to have a break, but there is still a tremendous amount of guilt for taking advantage of that time. I go on dates, I visit bars, and I attend concerts all while trailing behind me in a suitcase is my mom guilt. All tucked nice and neat are the little what ifs and should ofs of my life. I always tuck away my wish I would of thoughts into my guilt suitcase and carry it along with me, every shift at work, every date I go on, and every night when I fall asleep without little toes in my face.

l’ll always wonder what my children do when they are away from me, even though I know they are safe and happy at their dads, I still wonder. It’s a part of being a mom! I’ll always tuck away my wish I would of thoughts into my guilt suitcase and carry it along with me, every shift at work, every date I go on, and every night when I fall asleep without little toes in my face.

I’m a strong 27-year-old woman who’s succeeding in her career and raising 3 children, but there are days I still doubt myself, and doubt the balance of it all. I’ll be standing in the middle of a dance floor and flooding me are the thoughts of what are my kids doing right now and begin wondering why I’m even out to begin with.

On the other hand, there are days I’m standing in the middle of a pile of laundry and wishing for that mixed drink in a loud bar.

There’s no magic formula for being a single parent or trust me I would trade my guilt suitcase in for it. It’s a crazy ride, and I’m riding it with my hands up. I’m proud of how far I’ve come post-divorce but there are still days of struggle and doubt. I must force myself to take a step back and see what I’ve accomplished and see what happy and healthy kids I have and know that I am doing the best I can.

I’m their mother, their strong courageous mother, I’m also a vibrant beautiful 27 year old who needs a little fun every now and then.

~Serendipity

STOP! Settling

STOP Settling …

What are you putting up with what really isn’t OK with you?

Where are you letting things pass by without saying that you find them unacceptable?  In your job? Your relationship? With friends? With your kids?  With your health?  WHERE? And the cost…have you considered that?

We are all settling for less than excellence somewhere, with something—-for me it’s that damn daily list and the workout schedule—for some people it is their relationship or their job—every single person has some place that needs work.  We settle because we tell ourselves that it is easier, we convince ourselves that it is too hard to make a change, that it will be too uncomfortable or too disruptive—-that’s bullshit— it is just what we tell ourselves to justify the fact that we are not willing to do what it takes to have it exactly the way we want it.

There are two solutions for this…

  1. Stop accepting what is unacceptable, bite the bullet, speak your truth, make the changes and deal with the consequences whatever they are. Whatever you have to face for speaking your truth has to be better then you waking up 10 years from now and saying “what the hell happened to my life?”

When you stay in things that are unacceptable to you, they steal your joy and aliveness every day and pretty soon you don’t even recognize yourself anymore because you are so busy boxing yourself in to put up with shit that you can barely stomach—-yet people do it—-and they continue to do it….in the name of the ‘kids’ or ‘bills to pay’ or ‘fear of being alone’—-bullshit excuses for giving away your aliveness….

Tell the TRUTH to yourself, whatever that is—-stop fooling yourself into thinking that you are operating in subpar conditions for the greater good—-at 51 years old, I say F**K that!!! You are a warrior—-act like it.  Period.

 

  1. The second solution is to stop making the current conditions shit—-stop complaining about them and being critical of them and start blessing them from right where you sit. You alone have the ability to change your reality—you can either do that by removing yourself from a situation or by being determined to bring blessing to the situation that you are in. You can never go wrong by blessing people and circumstances.   You can also never go wrong by forcing yourself to come from a place of gratitude— if you change the way that you are looking at something or the way that you are holding it in mind, you will CHANGE the situation.  It all starts with YOU.

YOU are the KEY to changing the game for yourself—-so it is time to either start shifting things and get out of stuff that isn’t working OR start blessing those things and seeing the good in them.  Either of these two solutions will bring you someplace NEW and that is where I want you to be in 2020 some place new in your mind—-a place where you see that you can create the life that you want.  We will talk about this more on Sunday Morning’s Coffee Chat.  See you then.

XO, N.

More Better Days

Don’t stop me if you’ve heard this already, it’s a good one. Do you realize that most of our “better days” haven’t even happened yet? That is actually quite amazing. I have been blessed enough in my life to have some awesome “better days”. Not all of them have been major accomplishments or even stacked with luxury. They all happened while just living out my life in real time.

I was able watch and beam with pride as my son and his team won a State Football Championship his senior year. I have screamed at the top of my lungs and jumped up and down while witnessing my daughter make a game winning PK in a shootout at a State Soccer Tournament. I have held babies, traveled to places with some of my favorite people, laughed until it hurt and tears streamed down my face, bought coffee for strangers behind me, seen some amazing sunrises and phenomenal sunsets. Talk about better days! I have had plenty…and I could go on and on.

I have also had my share of war stories. Having to pick myself up in times where I thought I couldn’t go on – maneuvering through some of the worst times of my life thus far. Feelings of insecurity, uncertainty, and shame. Feeling like I am transparent and that everyone in the entire world can see through me and knows my every fear and wanting to hide from the world because of it. But, I want more “better days”… and they are coming for me.

Recently, I have put a considerable amount of thought into what “better days” means to me. It means feeling more whole. More complete. Feeling more joys than sorrows. Tipping the happiness scale in my favor. The best part? I have a hand in choosing those better days. I get to choose how I respond to things that are not meant for me. I get to eliminate things that rob me of my joy, to bring myself peace. I don’t have to explain why and I don’t owe anyone anything for doing it. I get to hold out and know that I will indeed have better days – and I am ready.

Ready for those days to enter my life and burn themselves into my memory. Thinking of the times to come brings tears of excitement to my eyes. I look forward to seeing my children accomplishing their goals, watching them get married, holding my future grandchildren. I get to look forward to traveling to beautiful destinations that photos don’t do justice, and take it all in. When the time is right – experiencing immense butterflies with a first kiss, and at some point falling in love all over again. Driving with the windows down and the radio up while it plays my favorite songs on a warm summer day. Those are what “better days” are made of.

I get it, there will be some not-so-better-days ahead too. Dates on the calendar that we’d rather not remember. Holes and voids in our hearts left by those who should have loved us more. Missing someone who is gone too soon. Wanting to fall into bed at the end of the day painfully waiting for the day to be over. However, those days make the better ones so much more important. It aids them to be appreciated more.

Better days are on the horizon. I refuse to let them pass me by going unnoticed for what they truly are. I exercise my right to no longer feel as if I am required to walk with my head down and blinders on. There are more “better days” meant for me, and for you too!

I am putting up and waving my white flag in the wind, and giving up feeling like I don’t deserve the better days ahead. Instead, I am relishing in the appreciation and anticipation that I in fact get better days.

 

  • Jenn

Reshaping Thoughts

Reshaping thoughts…Not only were reading good books with substance & transformational information my life line to creating a new mindset, BUT I surrounded myself with pictures, words & quotes that made me feel alive.

Vision Boards, Dream Posters, Image books, signs on my mirror, verses in my car, cut outs on my bulletin board.  Anywhere I looked & everywhere I was in my home, there was something to remind me of reshaping my thoughts to something new, something amazing, something magnetic.

Now….it is part of who I am.  It just is.  I still read great books, still have reminders all around my home, and still write affirmations BUT now, it is a peaceful, authentic and glowing reality of who I am and how I live my life.  It IS me.

If you’re not sure how to change your mindset, how to begin the journey of positive thinking or how to come up with the words to use….… just start somewhere….

Here are some affirmations that might get you started….

I move steadily from where I am to where I want to be.

I do what works.

True excellence is always present,

I am divinely full of enthusiasm, moving into new ways & new directions.

I attract what I want.

I act for what I want.

I am an integrating force for good.

I think thoughts of truth,

I uplift all those around me.

I encourage others, I empower others, I appreciate others.

Happiness abounds everywhere I go.

If there is something you no longer want, be sure to write it in a positive manner.  For example, if you want to say “I’m not afraid of doing X anymore”, word it positively “Love prevails when I do X” or “I embrace all the good in X”.   Remember to put them into “I” statements.  Use positive, uplifting and affirming words.  Have fun with what you come up with.  IT will BE YOU.

xxoo

Your God girl,

Tracy