Category Archives: Inspiration

I Think I Can

“I think I can”…..The Little Engine That Could.  Have you read the book?  If you have not, it’s a must! The subliminal message within ‘The Little Engine That Could‘ ,speaks volumes.  These are the kinds of books, stories, words, that mold our thinking.  They open our mind to a new way of thinking.  They push us beyond the place where we might give up.

I read a quote from Henry Ford once that I keep in my back pocket:

WHETHER YOU THINK YOU CAN

OR YOU THINK YOU CANNOT

YOU ARE RIGHT.

Think about that statement.  Our egos can be so powerful that the brain believes what we think about.  Our actions are then generated from that thinking.  If you think you can….most likely… you will!  If you think you can’t, there’s not even a chance of succeeding.  You’ve already talked yourself out of it, you’ve already given up, and most likely you’ve already got a stack of excuses as to why you can’t.

Some of us are so committed to being right that we aren’t even open to something different, we aren’t open to expansion, creating new or giving up the old.  We’d rather be right.  We’d rather stick our heels into what might not be working, so that we are right.  We’d make someone with imagination and ideas, wrong, because we NEED to be right.  That my friends, is the EGO working overtime.

There’s a difference between CAN’T and WON’T.  For instance, I won’t skydive again.  I take ownership of the action required.  I’m not selling out or quitting.  I’m declaring that I won’t.  Here’s a can’t.  I can’t do 100 push-ups in a row.  So if I choose to be successful in this quest,  I get to rephrase it to “I’m not physically able to do that BUT I can do 4 sets of 25 and work my way to 100.”

Start with something small that you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t succeeded.  Look at the words you’re using to describe it and rephrase it so it works for you.  I think you can!

Go Get It. 

xoxo

Your God girl

Tracy

There’s No Parking On The Bridge

I was chatting with a friend the other day and he was telling me a story of a time he met a young man at 1230 am on a bridge. The young man was sitting there, next to his bicycle and back pack. This young man was sad, contemplating, reflecting, remembering. My friend said to him “There’s No Parking on the Bridge”.  They talked for the next hour about choosing new thoughts for your life.

My friend and I talked more about how important it is to keep moving forward in our lives. To keep looking ahead and making things happen for each new day. How “Parking on The Bridge” can lead to unnecessary stagnation, pondering and maybe even regrets.

Since there’s nothing we can do about yesterday – except forgive and ask for forgiveness – we won’t get those times back, we might as well start over.

Re-create.

Re-imagine.

Redo.

It reminds me of when I was a kid and I’d get to have ‘do-overs’ with my two girlfriends.  The 3 of us had a pact where we could have a ‘do-over’ if we said anything that hurt another’s feelings. We’d actually make the noise of a cassette tape rewinding so we could start again with different words.

Right then and there we’d create a new outcome. We did not let each other get away with being mean, even if it was supposed to be funny. We didn’t let each other go home mad. We made sure there was no regrets at the end of the day between us.

I want to live like that now. No Parking On the Bridge! Take my bicycle and keep peddling. Keep my eyes open to what’s around the corner or up the bend. What I can create new?  

Won’t you join me?

 

xoxo

Your God-girl

Tracy

Appreciation Post

Appreciation post….

It is Sunday night after the holiday. My trusty sidekick is at my feet snoring very loudly. I have finally decided to bust open one of the non alcoholic cocktails I got myself for a treat. It claims to be a take on a Whiskey old Fashion… not sure if that’s true. But it’s yummy nonetheless and filling the void I sometimes feel now that I don’t drink.

I wanted to say thank you …

To you all.

To those who stop here.

Read what we write.

Maybe you smile.

Maybe you don’t.

Maybe you can relate and that helps.

Or maybe not.

But a long time ago after feeling helpless too many times I made the decision to take control of something I could. Something that might make people feel better.

And that was telling them they were appreciated.

Cared about.

Thought about.

Missed.

Loved.

I could tell you all the ways I feel like my life has fallen off the tracks at one point. I could tell you how I got frustrated and hurt that everything didn’t line up to make a perfect picture I could post on Facebook and brag about on Instagram.

But the reality is that is my reality and I can’t control it.

And I really believe everything happens for a reason.

What I can do is cheer lead for the people who held my hand when I thought my world was falling apart.

Never stop thanking my friends who sat with me every weekend until I could sit alone.

Always wish everyone Happy Birthday.

Send someone a song. 

Say hello to a stranger at the store and try REALLY hard to smile with my eyes.

Tell my people I appreciate them.

Hug my daughter.

Tell her I love her.

Compliment someone.

Say please.

Say thank you

Over and over again.

These are things I can control.

These are things we need more of.

That small hi with me  making the eyes over my mask maybe I’ll at least get a giggle?

It’s a start.

I have no answers for this past year except I am happy to see it gone.

And move into 2021 with a Mr. Rogers quote as my mantra: the greatest thing we can do is to help somebody know that they are  loved and capable of loving 

 

Be safe

Much love 

Happiest of New Years my sweet wonderful Mamas

💚

Caprise 

Embrace It

Embrace it…

It is Sunday late afternoon and I am listening to not the best cover of a Third Eye Blind song, my one diet soda I allow myself long gone.

I have been forty nine almost a full month. Christmas and New Years are creeping up and as I do this time of year I get in my head.

A year ago I cut all my hair off. Today I saw some silver in it and put more teal in it. Yes, more. I have forever wanted fun punk rock hair but have been afraid. The wildest hair color I had has been a shade of pink

The irony is I have tattoos and piercings. I love me some leopard print.

But for some reason there is a fear for me in doing anything too drastic to my hair.

Maybe because I can’t hide it.

Maybe because even though I love people I am shy and I don’t want to attract attention to myself. Again I can hide my tattoos and piercings.

My hair, unless I like hats…no hiding.

A few months into the pandemic it became pretty obvious I would not be able to maintain the beautiful blonde my magical unicorn of a hairstylist gave me. 

So… I tried Mommas to do the box thang myself. Nope. (Side note I have a high risk family member in my bubble so certain things are on hold).

In our pantry we had a fun hair dye my teen daughter had colored her hair. I decided to test drive a stripe. 

The kid liked it. The co-workers liked it and the color looked like it might hide my roots.

Flash forward to today and I have streaks of teal in my hair.

I have embraced it. As much as I tell my daughter and you all to be confident in who you are. It’s still a journey for me. And let’s be real… I think it is maybe a lifelong journey for a lot of people. 

AND 

That is ok.

I say this all the time we are human. Everyone wants you to be one way or the other. Chin up. Lean in.

Well which one is it?

Be tough or be soft?

You hover, you don’t hover enough.

So I have decided at forty nine I am going to embrace it.

Whatever it may be.

At this present moment it is teal streaks in my hair.

Tomorrow it could be not ever wanting to wear jeans again.

Finally being brave enough to tell my side of why I got divorced rather than letting everyone believe something not true because I just didn’t want to fight anymore.

Or just let it lie.

That is the beauty in all of this and to me the gift each birthday gives me. The chance to decide what I want to embrace and what I want to just let slide.

I really feel like I need to embrace some Reese’s too.

But maybe after dinner.

 

Be safe and much love Mommas

<3 Caprise

Just A Bump In The Road

Just a bump in the road…

Sunday night seems to come at me much faster than it did a few months ago. I’m trying to decide how I feel about that. Do I miss the days of not knowing what day it is or do I like being very aware with each passing hour my weekend is almost over?

I think a bit of both.

Since August I have been working in an actual office again and those twelve people are twelve of my favorite people. Whether they want to be or not. Because in my part of the world we are on high alert so anything outside of essential anything is pretty limited.  Seeing them everyday makes me happy.

In my group of friends we all have handled this differently.  I was texting a friend and we were talking about how a lot of us are feeling like fireflies in jars right now. For some of us that works, but for a lot of us it really doesn’t.

I have become really close with Netflix and unfortunately Amazon, initially I really thought I was going to do all these DYI products.

I can see them from here. Half started. Maybe my heart is with that Pyrex dish I talked about last week.

Some of my friends have become at  home beauty gurus. Some of my friends are writing novels, taking up new hobbies, adopting pets.

But a few have fallen back into old habits they left behind. 

Rather than tell you what they are. I am going to tell you what I have told them and honestly try to remind myself of.

Especially right now.

First if you are telling someone-you know. “You know you need help.” That in and of itself is powerful. 

Second it may not feel like it but this is a bump. We are human, we make mistakes. Don’t let this be your hurdle,slow you down or think less of yourself.

Third… 2020 is not a normal year is it? There is absolutely no playbook for any of this. So being human, we are all doing the best we can.

Some maybe better than others. 

But we are trying. My dear, beautiful friend this is incredibly hard and I know you are scared and worried but you are doing great. This is just a bump in the road.

Seriously

I know you are tired. I know. But remember two AM feedings and sitting up with that little baby who thought an in depth conversation at four AM was necessary?

You got through that.

I know you feel helpless. But remember when you packed up that moving truck with hardly anything but your baby and some boxes and started over? You did it.

I know you are sad. He has someone new. Your time will come. It will.

Last,most definitely not least, you are a Mom. Mother. Ma. Mama. 

That my friend is powerful and important and you just do it.

So… you will get through this too.

You are stronger than you know and tomorrow REALLY is a new day.

 

Be safe Mommas.

Much love,

Caprise

Hey Batter-Don’t Be Unruly

Hey batter, don’t be unruly…

‘We want a pitcher, Not a belly itcher.”

Have you ever heard that phrase before?  When I was a kid playing ball with all the neighborhood kids, we’d say the darndest things to each other.  As the other team stepped up to bat, we’d taunt & tease.  We’d try to get them to lose focus.

We’d yell to the batter …..“Come on battah battah battah battaaaaah SWING Battah”. And….. “He’s got nothin’ up here at home I tell ya, Nothin’!”

We’d yell to our pitcher….. “Big K now…sit this guy down!”, which always seemed to work. And our team’s favorite, “I think his mommy is watchin’.”  That got the batter all riled up. 

I found myself in that same mind space the other night as I sat on the bleachers watching my adult son play co-ed softball.  It took all I had to keep my my mouth shut.  I wanted to be unruly.  Unruly like my unruly hair on a damp day without gloss drops to keep it at bay. 

That kind of unruly. 

I wanted to be loud & taunt the pitcher on the other team. I wanted to be my younger self, again teasing & taunting.  

It reminded me of these two brothers in our neighborhood who always picked on anyone who was smaller than them.  They thought they were real tough guys, until the day they pushed me and my older sister saw them.  She was just a year older than me but she was tougher, meaner and stronger than these two boys combined. On that day….. let’s just say that was the last time they laid a hand on me.  

Being unruly for a cause or taunting someone to get yourself out of an unexpected predicament may be good reasons to rally your younger self, but when you’re sitting on the bleachers watching your adult child playing ball with his friends let’s just say “Nice Pitch” or “Good Hit” is a better MOM cheer.

xoxo

Your God girl

Tracy

I Am Doing The Best I Can

I am doing the best I can… I realized that the other day, as I was pulling my hair out about numerous events that seem to be spiraling out of control.  I had to remind myself that I am doing the best I can  in all areas of my life.  As a mother, a parent, a friend, a coworker, and a daughter…. 

It is 4pm on a Thursday and I get a notification from the school that my daughter has 3 unexcused absences from periods 4, 5, and 6.  I thought how can that be…she was here in her room doing her distance learning.  So, I go to ask her “why she has an absence from a class when I know she was doing her school work today”… and her answer.. “ I am so sorry, I fell asleep during periods 4, 5, and 6 today.  

I thought how in the world can this happen… And at the same time I thought… I am such a failure as a mom.  I am not sure if I was angry that she missed the classes or upset at myself.  I should have been more diligent with her that day.  I thought to myself… should I be constantly checking on her to make sure she is doing her school work.  

I went through this entire scenario of how I need to enforce additional rules for their distance learning.. And stewed over it the entire night, going back and forth on all the things I was going to enforce from now on… And then I had to remind myself that I was a teenager and I fell asleep in class… many times and that was in person class.  

And I also had to remind myself that, I have my own responsibilities that need to get completed during the day..  And I admit that when I get engrossed with phone calls, emails, conference calls, and zoom calls. I tend to forget that I have 2 teenagers at home doing distance learning.  I also can not constantly check on them, they need to be just as responsible as in school.

And we are all just doing the best we can…if falling asleep in class is the worst that happens right now… ohh well.  

In the last few months, I have realized  that I am doing the best I can.  I am not going to get stressed out about missing classes, running late to soccer practice, skipping church, etc… 

I can only handle so much.  I can only do so much.

I can not get everything done that I would like too.  I have really had to cut back and remind myself that little is better sometimes.  

I would love to be the friend that can be there for everyone right now… Instead I limit my time  and plan time for just me. 

I would love to be the granddaughter that calls my grandma once a week to check in… Instead I mail her a package every few weeks.   

I would love to make home cooked meals for my kids every night… Instead I plan one night so we get leftovers for a few.  And treat us to ordering out another night.  

I would love to have family movie night every friday night, where we all agree on the same movie, we eat popcorn, and no one argues… instead I am happy with one night every few weeks where at least one kid makes it through the entire movie.  And I do not fall asleep…

These are the things that I have learned, that I can manage… I would love to do it all, but I am doing the best that I can.   And I have really learned that..that is ok.  

-Snarky

www.snarkydivorcedgal.com

Happiness Is A Pyrex Dish

Happiness is in a pyrex dish…

It is Sunday night. No music. There is a pretty important football game on. More importantly my team is winning. 

It has nothing to do with me wearing game day gear but we will pretend it does. I am sipping on a non alcoholic riff on a Brandy Old Fashioned and for the first time in a long time since this dumpster fire of a year started I am calm.

I am still worried. I am still scared. I still want all the things and wish more than I could say I had done things differently in March.

But I didn’t. I can only go forward. No amount of wanting to go back will change anything. Or make things better.

I still don’t have answers and if I am being honest I don’t have any for you. I wish I did. I really do. I am a fixer by nature. You tell me your problem. I immediately start thinking of ways to make you feel better.  To fix things.

I have to catch myself. Not everyone wants their problems fixed. Sometimes. A lot of times, people just want someone to listen.

I also don’t want to be a burden. So while I may have problems I have a hard time sharing them and an even harder time asking for help.

If I am being honest I am struggling. I am a shy people person who can’t see her people. I am a music person who can’t see live music. I am a food person who can’t eat out. I am a person who absolutely treasures her trips to the salons for more than just the magical transformation but it is my time-out. I can’t. I can’t. All my normal go to’s when I start to feel like the firefly in a jar. I can’t.

I also worry. Will I have a job? A home? 

I am 49 and know how I feel… then I think of my daughter. All her can’ts. All the things that abruptly stopped. Gone. 

I start to crumble.

Then… you lean on social media and that’s a whole nother kettle of fish.

So today I baked my proverbial banana bread. 

I found my happiness again.

In a Pyrex dish. 

There was a time I cooked. Not a lot but the weekends I cooked and baked. Then life started changing and meals became a necessary convenience and the only baking I did was thanks to Costco’s bakery department.

When everyone was talking about baking banana bread. Honestly, I didn’t get it.

I chose instead to become besties with my iPad. Watch an abundance of Netflix. 

I wallowed a bit.

I also became restless. 

And addicted to cooking shows something I just didn’t do. Anymore. The ironic thing is I spent from ages 16 to 26 working in the back of the house of a restaurant. It was my least favorite and favorite time of my life.

Because of that time I always have to have music on. A clean kitchen to start. A clean kitchen to end. There is a definite process and steps.  I lay everything out. Put everything away along the way.

So for the first time in a long time I cooked. I love tacos. Obsessed. I have many taco themed gifts and an inbox full of taco recipes. I also can’t keep eating chips everyday at work. I pulled out one of the recipes and went to town.

Food is also my way of saying I care. So for good measure I baked some cookies for friends who like me are feeling the last few months.

Everything is carefully packaged for reheating and delivery.

While I didn’t solve my problems or anyone else’s I might have finally found something. A little happy at the bottom of a Pyrex dish. Who knew?

 

Much love. 

Be safe Mommas.

<3 Caprise 

What Are Your Dreams?

What are your dreams?

Hi everyone!

I know it’s been a while, but I am glad to be back and sharing a little bit more about my experiences with all of you.

Today, I wanted to share something that I have been reflecting on quite often. I recently moved into a new house, and I began to unpack some items that I had not seen in a while. As I was unpacking, I realized that I had a brand new guitar that I was gifted by my family when I was much younger. I come from a long line of family members that possess some incredible musical talents.

As I have mentioned previously, I grew up around so much talent and music, that it has become a very important part of my life. When I was old enough, my family wanted me to learn some of those musical talents that I had witnessed frequently growing up.

When I was about 11 years old, I was gifted a beautiful red guitar in the hopes that some day I would be able to play with the other members of my family. Unfortunately, other tasks took importance over guitar practice, so I never learned how to play as I had originally dreamed.

Slowly, I began to forget that I even had this guitar in my possession, and my dream of learning to play drifted to the back of my mind. When I discovered the guitar once more, something clicked inside of me and made me recall how I had once viewed the art of music. Suddenly I remembered how much I longed to be able to play it, and all of those emotions resurfaced within me. That day, I made a promise to myself that somehow, I would learn to play the instrument that was once so important to me and my family.

I guess I’m here to remind everyone to recall something that they had always dreamed of doing but unfortunately never got the chance to fulfill. I’m here to let you know that it’s never too late to take up that hobby, and fulfill those dreams!

– Dani <3

I Have Insecurities

Insecurities…. How do you ever get over them??  I am a very independent woman, almost too independent at times.  I come across very strong and confident to most people…but I have these insecurities that people don’t see.  

Lately, I have this giant insecure elephant just staring me in the face….I facing it daily…I am just going to lay it out here and tell you that I just do not know why I feel so insecure with dating. I have my speculations…but nothing is concrete.   

Maybe its because I actually really like this person… maybe its because I have been so patient with dating over the last 5 years…maybe its because no one else has even made me interested in them… I feel like a kid because I am constantly second guessing my decisions and over thinking everything.  It’s like I turned into a crazy lady.  And…Maybe this is why I have avoided dating.  I should have spent a lot more time dating in my twenties and learned to handle all of these feelings.

I find myself doubting everything, which is not how I am in other areas of my life.   Then I have to give myself a reality check amd reel myself back in.  Mostly reminding myself that I am a confident person.  

Through the years, my insecurities with my body, my career, and my life status have diminished.  I have increased my self confidence tremendously, so those insecurities I do not worry about much..  I just brush things off and move on.  I do not even second guess my decisions.  

Even through my divorce, I was confident.  I did not face many insecurities, because I was very secure in my decisions and the challenges I faced.  My decisions were always very clear to me.  

But through the last few months, I have realized that It’s my insecurity of getting hurt… I keep myself so sheltered from getting hurt because I do not want to feel that nagging pain.   I don’t want to experience the disappointment or let down in life, so I keep myself so guarded.  I would rather not even experience things just to save myself from getting hurt. 

At times, I feel like just ending my dating relationship so that I do not have to risk the hurt, if it doesn’t work out.   And honestly, I really enjoy this person.  It has been a slow progression and I do not feel overwhelmed with my kids schedule and being able to see him.   I think a lot of this insecurity has to do with the fact that I am so confident in other areas and that I do not know how to cope with these new feelings.  Its all kind of new for me..

So here I am constantly asking myself…How do I get past the things in life that trigger my insecurities?  Do I avoid getting into a relationship that will trigger these feelings?   Do I just not take the chance in fear of getting hurt? Or do I risk it all and take a change?   

I have learned that I am not always as confident as I thought…sometimes this curve ball comes out of nowhere.  And insecurities happen at any age…And so many questions that I keep asking myself…

I am learning to take things slow.. Keep my head calm and free… I also need to remember not to set expectations.  Its so hard. I have to remember to stay confident.  Stay confident.  

-Snarky


www.snarkydivorcedgal.com