Category Archives: Inspiration

Hold Onto Your Daydream

Somewhere in my life I have heard the phrase “don’t quit your daydream.” It’s been sitting heavy with me lately as my daughter starts to talk about college. As the world starts opening up. As I get closer to my fiftieth birthday.

I feel like too often we don’t let ourselves dream. At least I don’t. I wrap myself up on a cloak of seriousness. I’m an optimistic realist. I don’t let myself have any what ifs and everything has to have a timeline. An end goal. A finish line. Somewhere I lost the girl who wanted to write for Rolling Stone. 

I don’t let myself dream because I have taken the approach that won’t happen anyway. But what if it did?Because it could.And why does it have to?

Dreams are an escape. My retired parents look at condos EVERYDAY in Hawaii. They have decorated them. They have been looking at houses and talking about them before they could even afford one. It was their escape.Now it’s their thing. 

Dreams are healthy.They are fun. They give you a path and sometimes even a reality check.Sometimes they’re kinda outlandish to other people and somehow come true.

Case in point.

I have always wanted to meet…Henry Rollins.

Guess who I met? Yup, Henry Rollins…In a million years I didn’t think it would happen and it did. Talk about a confidence boost!

Dreams don’t have to be big either.My latest – sitting by a pool with a very fruity umbrella drink. It isn’t  happening anytime soon. But inspired by this particular daydream I made myself an iced coffee and sat on my porch in the sun. Not quite the same but not too shabby. My daughter wants to be a director or animator. I love to hear how passionate she is and I love that she shares her dreams with me.

Dreams are yours. Your reminder. Your motivator. Escape. Maybe even your hope.So I am going to start holding on tight to my daydreams. And start saving for a vacation by a pool with a fruity umbrella drink.

Be safe, much love Mommas 

💚Caprise

Unstoppable—Practicing Relentless JOY

Unstoppable– impossible to stop

Relentless– constant, continuing. 

Last Saturday on ‘The Coffee Chat’ show I told you to watch out for when ‘monkey mind’ started to try and sabotage your momentum…I warned you to stay vigilant and not let that stop you.  We talked about ‘doing the thing and getting the power’ –knocking out the stuff that you have been neglecting to finish or have put off.  Now I am going to remind you that ‘monkey mind’ is not the only thing that will try to get in your way when you are on a roll—the force of chaos itself will start throwing things in your path to try and deter you from your renewed power.  Here is a real-life example from this morning…

Having promised you guys on Saturday that I would dive in and start finishing shit that I have been putting off, I made good on my promise and spent the weekend catching up on the Leadership Training modules, knocking out modules of another training program that I have been dragging on since last March and finishing one of the books that has been sitting half-read for 2 or 3 years now.  Getting all that done filled me with huge amounts of energy and ideas to do and accomplish even more—so I woke up this morning ready to rock and roll, walked into my sitting/prayer room and was assaulted by EIGHT shit stains on the WHITE carpet from one of the cats who must have had it on their paws…. EIGHT stains—mind you this was all BEFORE my first espresso…

NOW—some people would have let that define and ruin their entire day, however being as well-trained as I am and understanding that my JOY comes from making it up – I just proceeded downstairs to get the Resolve and a rag and I sprayed and cleaned all the stains with the cats looking on as if they had nothing to do with my plight…

THEN—I went back downstairs and made espresso and truthfully burst out loud laughing because I, honest to God, saw how chaos was trying SO HARD to steal my joy and throw me off my game.  I realized that when I get into ‘beast mode’ with my personal power and productivity, I am a force of nature and the catalyst to making a lot of good things happen for people— the forces of chaos don’t like that—they like it better when we leave things undone, when we feel fat and shitty about ourselves, when we complain, overeat, drink too much, spend days binge-watching Netflix etc—chaos feeds off of apathy and complacency.  It breeds there and manufactures illness, depression, fear, sadness and a shitload of other things that are not helpful.

So let me remind you today that you must access your unstoppable nature and decide to practice RELENTLESS JOY for NO reason other than the choice is yours—EVERY DAY THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

Choose wisely— remember your Universal attraction point is where your vibration is—so choosing JOY means more joy finds its way to you.  If I can be happy cleaning up shit on a Monday morning before coffee—you can be happy wherever you are as well.

See you Saturday morning for Coffee Chat.  

XO, Noelle

I Don’t Judge The Mom In Pajamas

I don’t judge the mom in pajamas….

It’s 7:45 am and I’m pulling up in the pickup line. Across the road comes a mom toting a baby and holding the hand of a 5-year-old. She is sporting tinker bell pajama pants and a winter coat. There was a time I would have judged this mother.

Hard.

A time before I had kids, before I experienced the never-ending exhaustion motherhood has to offer. A time when I didn’t have kids and thought I knew it all. Admit it we all thought we had motherhood figured out until they handed us a newborn!

Now I offer a smile. A sign of our sisterhood of mothers. I know the struggles of a mom, I have 3 kids under the age of 8 and most days it’s a circus! I don’t know how her day started or what she is battling. Who am I to judge? 

I had to learn this the hard way, I found myself running to Kroger for Tylenol after being up all night with a sick toddler and I realized halfway through my sprint across the store I never changed out of my flannel pajama pants. I felt ashamed. I couldn’t even put myself together or run a brush through my hair to go out in public, but then I realized something, the only person I care about right now is my sick toddler and he didn’t care if I was in pajamas so why should I?

As mothers we need to stop the judgement and offer smiles and words of encouragement instead. To some it may seem simple, get dressed, but to some that is just adding another chore to their endless mornings!

We have no idea if a mom is battling depression, if she’s a single mom with no support, or if she is a new mom just trying to figure it out. Lets all take a step back and remember the days we were deep in the trenches of motherhood and just trying to keep our head above water. Just smiling at another mom could change her entire day, and its effortless! Let’s all take a step back and remember we are in this together, this isn’t an endless competition of who is the best mother, it’s a sisterhood of all of us together just trying to survive. Reach out to the mom in pajamas maybe offer her a play-date, a cup of coffee, and a safe space to vent instead of a judgmental look. 

Serendipity

Last Christmas: A Tale Of Hilarity and Woe

Last Christmas: A Tale Of Hilarity and Woe:

“I found this gem in my files and I thought I’d share…I realize its “Out of season”, but hopefully you find entertaining anyway!”….

“You’ll shoot your eye out”took on a whole new meaning for us last Christmas….’Cuz we did…shoot an eye out!

Well, sort of. It all started innocent enough. A few days before Christmas I wrapped and counted presents for each kid and had a sinking feeling it just wasn’t enough. The kids are grown, so there weren’t ANY toys…which REALLY bummed me out. So I headed out to poke around a store…any store…to see what I could find to fill the gluttonous Christmas void. And then it came to me, right there in the middle of the K-Mart toy aisle.

As I stood peering at the answer to my greed filled prayers, I fought the urge to offer the guy next to me with a Typhoid-like cough a cough drop and said an extra prayer he wouldn’t touch the glorious fruits of my desperate search for fulfillment….the last three of the exact same NERF gun, which happened to be how many I needed to make Christmas PERFECT.

My vision of a grand and playful NERF war in the front yard between the 3 children as I
watched lovingly from inside with a warm cup of cocoa was coming to life! Typhoid guy left, and they were mine!

Fast forward to Christmas day..the three children opened them up at the same time, delighted, and charged with a competitive energy that could only come with a plastic weapon filled with spongy bullets….but it was dinner time, and 2 out of 3 children had to leave for a few hours.

However, promises of a turf war were scheduled upon their return and soon enough they were back, they found the youngest boy completely distracted by his video games, and took the
opportunity for a sneak attack.

And that’s when it happened….with the door flung open to deliver the extra element of
surprise, the youngest boy looked up just in time to receive a foam bullet shot from the hip of the oldest boy, straight to his right eye!

I mean, the dude couldn’t have done it again if he tried, it was a helluva shot, really, but that little boy’s blue eye was red in an instant as he howled in pain. Mild panic ensued as we all gathered around the sobbing child trying to assess the severity of his brand new Christmas injury.

Deciding a trip to a clinic would be best, we hopped in the car with him and began our trek. But apparently, NO ONE gets hurt on Christmas, because every walk- in clinic within a 20 mile radius was closed. As we made circles trying to decide which direction to try next, the boy
announced that it wasn’t hurting as bad, and when we pulled over to reassess, it actually looked better, so we forewent the ER at the local ‘Park-N-Die’ and went home instead.

As of 10pm last night, his blue eye was a perfect blue again, and the pain had subsided. He wasn’t gonna go blind after all. Today, the NERF guns lay strewn about,barely used.

Sad, really.

My vision of a playful afternoon on the front lawn has died, but boy do we have a story to tell for years to come! If I ever see Typhoid guy again, I will give him 3 barely used NERF gun….for free…..

~Lynn

All In With A Winning Hand

Have you ever gone to Vegas and sat at a gambling table?  Or maybe you’ve played poker with some friends.  Have you ever trusted the hand that was dealt to you so much that  you went “All In” ?  Every last chip you had in front of you, you slid them into the middle of the table, knowing with all your heart & soul that you had a winning hand?

Your attitude was a little cocky, your eyes were a little squinted and your demeanor was a lot challenging.  But you trusted your gut!   And you knew that once you went “All In” you wouldn’t be able to change your mind.  You can’t say never mind & pull them back out.  You can’t beg for mercy or cry or throw the table over.  You sit with your decision.  And Hope.  And Trust.  

THAT is how we should feel about all our choices.  We should know with our deepest knowing.  Our GUT!  Trust with all the blood running through our veins.  Move ahead into what we said we’d do with the strongest of assurance and conviction.  The knowing from deep inside.  When our heart palpitates, our gut somersaults, our skin tingles.  Like that.

Not the flighty thoughts that meander around our brain on a whimsical day, but the thoughts and ideas we contemplate on, makes lists about and ask others a list of questions on.  Those ones.

Let the idea boil, then let it simmer and if you still feel convicted in your gut… at your place of truth… then it is yours to manifest.  It’s yours to go after.  Just like pushing your chips into the middle of the table.   With Hope. With Trust. Move forward with adventure and certainty.  Going “All In” with what you have in front of you knowing that your return will be tenfold.

And…as always, have fun doing it.

 

xoxo

Your God girl,

Tracy

What Puts The Wonder In The Woman?

What puts the “wonder” in the woman?

I had a bad dream on Saturday night—It woke me up at 6am on Sunday and I was so unsettled that I just got up.  In the dream Antonio was still little and my ex-husband had taken him for a visit, and I was freaking out because I was unable to reach them, and I was worried that he would not bring Antonio back.  I woke up remembering the times that I felt like that, which were infrequent because the ex was pretty much not around the kid’s whole life—that fact likely made me more concerned about trusting him when he did take the kid for a visit.  I had to remind myself that Antonio will be 20 in a few weeks and that he lives right down the street with his own phone and his own car etc.

When I settled myself with those facts, I started thinking about how nobody really helped me with raising him and then I thought about everything that I have been able to do for us—how I brought us from filing bankruptcy to where we are today—how he is going to be 20 soon which means that I have been at this parenting thing for two freaking DECADES.  Then I thought about how much I worried about shit that I couldn’t control, about how f—ing terrified I was most of the time, about how many times I cried after he went to bed or when he was at school because I was just so damn scared about everything.  I was on my own in TN for 12 years with him…his father visited once, my Mother visited never…that’s another whole story for another day…

Point is that I made it, I did it— we are OK, we were OK, I figured it out, I kept going, I keep going.  Now I worry less because I realize that it wastes my energy and when you worry you attract things to be worried about.  None of us need that kind of help.  Truly.  STOP worrying.  

These days I continue to practice what I teach you, vibe from a better, higher place, think the next best thought, elevate yourself on the daily.  Appreciate what you have, keep doing the next thing and then the next.

Do me a favor—stop once in awhile in the middle and think about how FAR you have come, I never do that.  I am trying to learn to do it more—mostly I just kept moving because I was afraid that if I stopped, I would not be able to pick myself back up—I did not give in to despair EVER because I imagined that if I did it would put me out and then who would take care of the kid…so for him I just kept doing the next thing.

I remember days that I was so afraid about money or something else that I could hardly breathe—so I would do the next thing and then say some affirmations or pick up a book that would help me direct my thoughts in a better way.

In case you ever wonder if I know what it feels like to be YOU, I DO.  It’s just that I am a bit further along and I created this work with The Working Single Mom brand to help you see that you can make it too—you can and you WILL.  No matter what is happening now, you will get through it—I did, I do and you will.

Let me help you see what it looks like to get on the other side of hell—I will keep sharing my stories and you keep doing the next thing and use the tools that I am teaching—those tools and those prosperity principles saved my life and they work if you work them.

What puts the “wonder” in Wonder Woman is you and the GRIT to keep going.

GRIT-

courage and resolve; strength of character

See you Saturday on Coffee Chat.

XO, Noelle

Genie In A Bottle

What would you wish if you found a genie in a bottle?  Seriously.  If you rubbed the bottle and out came a genie ready to grant you two wishes, what would you ask for?

“A man,” you scream “I want a man!”

“Here you go!” said the genie.

Poof!  There in front of you….is a man.

But oh, oh Girl, you were not specific AT ALL.  And your first wish, well he’s full-on head-to-toe of all that you wish NOT for.  You did not use any adjectives and you didn’t give yourself a minute to think because you were beyond excited when the genie asked.  You jumped in with both feet.  Biting at the bit.  Ready for HIM.  This man in front of you is the answer to your first wish. You realize you have one more wish so you tell the genie for your second wish…. 

“I’d like a tall, dark and handsome man.  A man with bedroom eyes and broad shoulders and a smile that lights up the room.”

“Here you go!” said the genie.

Poof!  Your second wish now stands before you, looking more dashing than you ever imagined. Meow!You think to yourself….you’ve hit the jackpot.  You’re all smiles….that is until he opens his mouth and declares; what he wants, how he wants it and when!  A few more adjectives would have been nice. 🙁

I’m here to tell you this kind of wishing, this kind of identifying, this kind of non-descript imagination is what will get you into trouble in more places than the genie and his 2 wishes.  

When you set goals…use your imagination.  Think beyond the small mind you’ve been thinking from. List out more descriptives & when you think you’re done, list a few more. 

Declare it.  Name it.  Go get it.  Be very, very specific.

And like that excitement you had when declaring your wishes, go forth with that kind of attitude and you’ll be surprised what you’ll make happen.

Oh ya and have fun.

xoxo

Your God girl

Tracy  

Let Your Guard Down

Let your guard down….

It’s Sunday afternoon and while the sun is out the Midwest is not quite ready to give us Spring. It even snowed in parts of our state today.It’s ok. The sunshine is still good. It was our Spring Break and unfortunately it mostly rained.My daughter and I decided movies and board games would be how we celebrated a few days home.

We also got a whole lot more than five minutes together. Which for me was great. She shared a lot and I continue to hold my breath waiting for when she may not. For now I’m enjoying these moments. It got pretty deep. I value that she trusts me. I appreciate it.

Some of what she shared was about her Dad.

Our relationship, his and mine, is hard. Still. Rolling on a decade later.  I carry around a lot of anxiety when it comes to him. Which thankfully I thought… see the word thought I do a pretty good job keeping from our daughter.But everyone has their breaking point.

I didn’t realize how hard I had been holding it in until a conversation with my best friend.I am a private person when it comes to my personal life. Welp, ok y’all read my blogs.. but there are a handful of people who know all my nitty gritty.

I don’t want to be a burden.

Share too much.

Make waves.

So I hold it in.

Today I let it out. I cried. I shared some of my biggest fears and it was so incredibly scary. Honestly, it was terrifying.

Funny thing is every week I write these blogs but I can’t tell people I care about. I’m scared.My friend said he was surprised because it is so the opposite of who he knows me to be.And maybe that is why I was afraid. To share. To let my guard down. I take care of everyone. I have a job that puts me in a position where I have to be comfortable talking to EVERYONE.

Yet this anxiety, this stress I carry on my own.Luckily I have a person who does know me. And noticed. So I opened up. I shared. I let my guard down.

Here I am a few hours writing about it feeling for the first time in a long time like a lighter person.Wondering why I held onto this for so long. Maybe I hadn’t found the right person to let me guard down with. Maybe those deep talks with my daughter and surviving them gave me the courage.I really have no idea, but my hope for you is to have someone in your life who you can let guard down with.

Be safe and much love Mommas.

<3 Caprise

Clearing Out Behavioral Insanity

I have been pondering two words over the past couple days…foundation and wisdom.  Webster’s New World defines Foundation as ‘the base on which something rests’…this leads me to consider how many of us, myself included, live our lives resting on a solid foundation.  When you build a structure, it has to start with a solid and strong foundation, if it doesn’t the structure won’t hold up.  To have a successful life you must also start with a solid and strong foundation, otherwise you will have nothing to ground you when the going gets tough…and there are times when the going will get tough.

What makes a solid and strong foundation?  Is it integrity, a belief in God, ethics, treating others as you want to be treated, a forgiving heart, an open mind, perseverance, willpower, or a combination of all these and more?  I say a combination of the aforementioned and more…a solid and strong foundation comes from a belief that you have power in your own life and that you have the ability to change even the direst of circumstances as long as you can keep your wits about you.

A foundation is also strengthened by operating from a place of peace—meaning doing the things DAILY for yourself that keep you GROUNDED and feeling strong.  When we fail to care for ourselves, we become tired and weakened which opens a door to chaos, triggers and reactivity.  If you are a constant reaction in the middle of your life you will be incessantly pinging off the walls and in essence will be powerless to change anything.

Change can only come from being able to choose your response to a person or situation and this ability is born from having a strong foundation.

If we come from a place of understanding that our lives are based on principle and upon something more than our own pathetic self-concerns, then we are able to hold steady when life hits us with something unexpected.  We are further able to observe what is happening and then wisely choose a response.  If we are operating from a place of weakness and fear, then when life throws a curve ball we have no choice but to scramble and react, react, react.

As far as my life experience shows being a complete reaction has never solved anything, it just brings more trouble.

Seems like it would be prudent for all of us to give a little thought to what kind of foundation we are creating for ourselves daily …or do we wake up every morning and base our day on the reactions of the moment?

Wisdom is defined by Webster’s as ‘the power of judging rightly’…my definition of wisdom is something like ‘the conclusions you finally arrive at after life has knocked you around enough’…

Wisdom is something that comes over time and thankfully it is something that keeps expanding as we get older.  Wisdom is when it finally dawns on you that when you keep behaving the same way and doing the same things, you will get the same result.   The opposite of wisdom is insanity which Albert Einstein defines this way, “the definition of insanity is when you keep doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

How many times have we followed the same path over and over again expecting to end up at a different place?  Often we do this most in relationships, we follow the same MO and yet expect to end up with a different outcome…never happens… with certain situations we mirror that mouse running down the same path and still finding no cheese, yet we keep running with the same anticipation and zeal and then we are distraught when the outcome doesn’t change.

Funny thing is— on some level we all know better, yet we let our inner wisdom sit it out while we continue to behave like fools.

Let’s get more interested in exercising our wisdom muscles, we are tired of the same old song and the record is wearing out…it’s Spring and it seems like a good time to clear out behavioral insanity…what will you change today?

XXOO,

Noelle

Don’t Let Your Anger Consume You

Don’t let your anger consume you. It’s ok to be angry-angry at our kids, our friends, our coworkers, our boss, the person in your life. Angry for the things that happen to us in our lives,angry how people have treated us.

How do you get past it and move on?  How do you not let it control all the other areas of your life?  How do you not let it consume you?

I experienced a situation with someone that I was very close to (or thought I was very close to) that caused me much anger.  I was sad and so disappointed in myself and that person.

I had suspected that there was mistrust in our relationship and I ended the relationship.  Yep, I  ended it because I suspected the mistrust.  In the end, I never got any of the answers that I needed or wanted. 

I like things out in the open,all on the same page with what is expected.  And I have a hard time when people can not be honest back.  I had communicated that to him, but unfortunately he could not reciprocate that same communication.  I believe now that I was probably just told what he thought I wanted to hear.I  wish this could have all been avoided if he would have communicated instead of it leading to distrust.  

 I was angry at myself for letting this person in my life,so angry for that. I was angry because I allowed myself to put up blinders and I am still angry with myself for not following my gut or reading the signs.   I know everything that I probably believe is not all true, but I do know there was mistrust and dishonesty.  In the end, he obviously had very little respect for me.  

When It happened, I wanted to lash out…I did not understand.  I was so disappointed in myself.  How could I let this person in my life? How could I stand by this person for months?  How could I give him support when he needed it?

I was probably more angry with myself than with him.  I had to realize that as much as I wanted some answers on what was the truth, I was not going to get them.

I could try and piece it together in my head, but in the end It did not really matter.  I could spend months or endless days being angry but It was not going to change anything.   It happened and now I had to get past the anger I was feeling.

I have not had a lot of mistrust in my life.  I did not have mistrust growing up or in my past marriage, so this was new.  This was a new experience for me and I had to learn how to get past it.  I have been mad at people and experienced anger before, but not with mistrust involved.   

I knew if I did not get past it, It would take over other areas of my life. I would be stressed at my kids when I didn’t need to be.I would be short or annoyed with things that normally didn’t bother me.  I would just snap for no reason at all.  I would just be so mad and I had to let it go. 

I had to stop replaying everything and beating myself up.  Things happen in our lives, that make us so angry and it’s how we respond that gets us through it.  I feel I learn to let more and more go as I move through life,  I knew if I wanted to be happy again I had to just let this go. 

Let go of the hurt and disappointment… Not let it consume me.  

As I was pushing through this all,  I realized that it was ok for me to be angry at times. It was totally fine for me to have a rant to my friends every week about what I really thought and they would respond with all their juvenile name calling to make me feel better. 

I knew I had to get through the anger first before I could get through other areas affected by this… I had to get through this before I could trust or let people in again.  It was like the first layer that I had to peel through and then work on the rest.

-Snarky

 

www.snarkydivorcedgal.com