If you have been following along I’m not exactly a confident person. I haven’t let on to what I look like. Then or now. It’s a hard thing. Describing yourself. Especially when you’ve been conditioned that speaking to your looks is conceited.
This is what I will say. I’ve always been awkward but I have a big heart and bigger blue eyes. If I love you I love you with my whole heart as guarded as that is.
So when Captain of a sport I don’t understand decided I should be his girl. I was floored.
In your life there is always a human who defies all things. They really are the total package. Funny, sweet, smart. Hot. I’m going to say it, hot.
When your at your SO’s sporting event and other women comment on what they’d like to do to him you can be jealous or celebrate the fact you know where he’s showering after his match.
I chose celebration.
The Captain also set the tone and the bar.
He celebrated my quirkiness. He wrote me love notes. He sang to me. Read to me. Watched movies with me. Gave me back pieces of me.
Except he was on borrowed time. He was not quite over his first love.
Whose name he called me during a fight.
Whose pictures I started noticing in his room.
Who he helped move
Visited over break and didn’t tell me
His Dad did in the world’s most awkward phone conversation
While he hurt me he also taught me…
Who I was wasn’t a bad thing. Smart is good. Love really is layered and making up can be fun. Fighting it happens and it’s ok. Maybe just don’t throw your beer in your loved one’s face. Although it may not matter.
Our mantra was no cats, no dog, just you and me.
He actually has all those things.
He’s still hot.
He would wander in and out of my life until I graduated
Giving me hope
Breaking my heart
Thankfully I would graduate college and meet the Guitar Player.
Single Mom of the amazing Dbl G
Henry Rollins Middle Aged Punk Prom Date