What I Believed

I was reading Noelle’s Blog the other day called ”What Do You Believe” and I was going to comment at the bottom but wasn’t sure if you’d see it.  Go to the Blog & read it,  It’s a really GOOD one!!!  It’ll open your mind.

It reminded me of my first marriage. In the beginning, I did not really, really, really see the effect his outbursts were having on me.  Mainly because whenever he did go off on a tangent, I’d remove myself.  I’d go for a walk or sit outside or visit a girlfriend.

BUT they were still there.  And YES, they had an effect on me….BUT I stayed because, well, after all…I did love this man….and it’s what I saw growing up, so I THOUGHT.. ok.… this is my journey.  Live with it.  Be his helper, his partner, his friend.  OK….  Yes…..  To a point.

NOT to the point of destruction.  Not to the point of holes in walls.  BUT mind you…I didn’t really GET it… I’m talking REALLY TRULY GET IT…. until….

I went to a girlfriends house and saw a conversation between her and her husband, that I thought should have been an explosive one (based on what I believed about bad situations).  They spoke lovingly and kindly and respectfully to each other.  They held each other’s hands and explained and listened and kissed afterwards.  I had NO idea this type of talking in the middle-of-an-upset existed.  I thought it was okay to scream and yell and throw things.

NOT!  Not today.

Until that day I went to my girlfriends house and saw a new way…. I did not know what I Did Not Know.  I only knew What I Believed.

So, getting too the root of what we believe, will take some work.  Some rigor.  Some soul searching.  And some looking at some ugly stuff we may not want to see.  

But it is SOOOOooooo worth it.

Go.  Search.  Look.  Find.

xoxo,

Your God girl

Tracy

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