Being the mom of a tween….
It is Saturday evening and the Foo Fighters “White Limo” is blaring in my ears.
No crazy beverage, just ice water.
I’m enjoying the sunset and the moon is starting to come out. As much as I dread how early it’s getting dark again, I will always appreciate a calm summer night.
Especially after the last couple days. My daughter turned thirteen, a tween, in June and for the most part… no blowouts.
Until the middle of this past week.
I went into her room before I started my work day and asked her to get cleaned up.
Mind you she is not asked to do much. She has a few chores but my rules I think aren’t too crazy.
Out of nowhere I get a side eye and an attitude the size of Texas.
I stand there for a second.
I calmly say. “You know what I don’t deserve to be talked to that way and it doesn’t feel good. Get dressed.”
“Mom I didn’t mean to”
“No, I’m not doing this.”
I walked out of her room. Because I’m ashamed to say, I got teary. My worst fear happened.
All the books. The articles.
Granted this wasn’t huge. But she’s never given me the attitude. It hurt. It hurts because I get the attitude and I know all the sacrifices that are made in this house. All the things that are done for her.
I started answering emails. When she came into my room and flopped on my bed.
“Mom I’m sorry.”
“I’m sorry too kid. This is a weird time isn’t it?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too Mom. I am crabby. I’m kinda mad about stuff.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Yes and I need hugs”
And we did. For about an hour. We are both wearing our emotions closer to the surface than probably normal. She misses certain routines. There are pieces of her life that have dramatically changed. She is worried.
I have said this before, sometimes in all of this we don’t stop and take a breath. Listen. Ask. Tell.
We don’t always meet people with grace. Now sometimes they don’t deserve it, but I’ll let you figure that out.
When we got done talking I thanked my daughter. I told her I know it’s hard to share but I’d rather hear the hard stuff than have her feel the way she did.
And this rollercoaster ride of being a Mom of tween continues.
Be safe and much love Mommas.