Scars. Some look at scars as ugliness. Something that could make us less feel attractive or makes us feel as though we’re unlovable. In my opinion, that couldn’t be more wrong. According to the dictionary a scar is defined as a mark left after injury has occurred and healing has begun or has been completed. A mark where something was previously attached. A lasting emotional or moral injury. At some point in everyone’ life, injury of some nature is bound to occur – whether it be physical, emotional, mental, moral (you get the picture). Not a single soul is immune to it. You will never be able to outrun it. There is no escape…if any of you have figured out a way to do this – – please, show me your ways.
It’s a hands down “no brainer” that physical injury heals much faster than any emotional injury. Get a surgery. Add some hardware. Throw a cast on it or stitch it up – wait a little while and good as new. Off you go and if you’re lucky you’re back to doing most or all of the things you were doing before the injury even occurred.
Emotional pain is much much more complex (duh). If I could click the heels of my ruby red bottoms (my version of Ruby Red Slippers) three times and heal any and all emotional pain I’ve endured over my 39 times around the sun, I’d be all for it. It sure sounds a hell of a lot better than the raging hangover you’re sure to have from a night of downing your pains in Whiskey just to forget. 🙂 I’m sure I got an amen out of a few of you out there, right? Yes? No? Moving along…
I personally find that it’s strange that when you’re in the middle of dealing with your major emotional pains, you feel as if you have not moved anywhere. Not one step off of ground zero. Paralyzed. Stuck in a constant swirl that can make you nauseous. In reality, life continues. YOU are basically on auto pilot. The world keeps spinning, the sun still shines, and seasons come and go. Minutes turn to hours, hours to days, days to weeks and so on. Finally when think of taking a look back – you’ve actually come a lot further than you have been feeling or thinking you have. It is there in that moment when we look back and can see we’ve actually “moved” and have not been in the same spot we were left in – THAT is when you realize that your healing has begun and scars are starting to form over the open wounds and broken pieces of our hearts and souls. Progress.
There’s not a person alive that can tell you the timeline in which this all is supposed to happen. There are no rules. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Your schedule to healing and dealing is autonomous. It’s yours and yours alone, no one has the right to tell you to get over something or “magically heal” from something that is or was of utmost pain for you. When you’re ready, you’ll know and it will be. It’s just that complicated and simple. We’re each at our own pace, and healing over things – whatever they may be – a broken family, abusive childhood, an ended marriage, lost friendships, death, etc. we need to remember that we’re not racing against anyone else in the world, because not one of us is the same as the next. Honestly, I envy those who are able to just pick themselves up, dust themselves off and carry on – but it also makes me wonder if they were ever bothered by what it was in the first place if they just move on with Mach 10 speed. Personally, I tend to be a person that holds on to things a hell of a lot longer than I should or way more than whatever it was deserves. I choose to believe (for myself) that it’s because I love harder than most – so letting go, moving on, and healing is harder as well. My opinion. You certainly don’t need to by that brand.
The bottom line and point is this – these scars that we form from become our “battle scars”. They are not a life sentence. They do not make us ugly. They do not make us unlovable. They help mold us into the person we’re ultimately supposed to be. Sometimes it’s to strengthen us. To help us grow up. To be a better version of ourselves. To walk away from what is not made for us, or to simply make us realize that we deserve so much better.
They remind us that even though there’s been ups and downs, some catastrophic in nature, some not so much… that we showed up for life and we survived. Each battle scar telling their own tale. They show us where we’ve been but they do not dictate where we will go.
To the warrior within you…
You’ve survived what you thought you wouldn’t. Wear your battle scars proudly.