Battered, Bruised, & Recovering

Hi my name is Ali and I am a recovering battered woman.

My first long term relationship wasn’t a healthy one. A lot of my relationships were not healthy. I picked people that treated me how I thought I deserved to be treated. This comes from being raised by an unhealthy and unstable part of my family, it also came from watching my mom get abused for years before she found the strength to leave her alcoholic ex fiance. Even though I learned my definition of love from these people and situations, it wasn’t their fault that I stayed in these situations. I chose to allow these things to continue and I take full responsibility for my choices, because I am not a victim.

I have had to relearn boundaries, standing up for myself, knowing whats ok and not being to sensitive or nonsensitive to negative behavior. I still struggle with this at times. It is a growing process and I will be growing in these ways for the rest of my life.

To this day I hear anyone raise their voice or hear someone spewing negativity I feel a panic swell in my chest. If I’m excited and nervous around someone new that I like that can trigger the same feeling and racing thoughts.

A big thing is to breathe and remind myself that this person isn’t the person whom has hurt me before. If it is a person how ever that has negatively affected me I take a step back and recoup. I refuse to allow someone else that kind of power over me again and as long as I love and trust myself and stay grounded I have nothing to fear.

I wanted to share this little snippet about myself, to not only let someone who may need to hear it that they are not alone, but that they do not have to live like that anymore. There is a better life waiting for you and it is possible for you too.

 

-Always be unapologetically yourself

Ali

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4 thoughts on “Battered, Bruised, & Recovering

  1. Keri

    Thank you for being so authentic. You are amazing and encouraging with your truth and honesty. Boundaries are so hard…especially when one has been through abuse of any kind…I work everyday to try and set boundaries. Thank you for this!

    Reply
  2. Lindsey

    Thank you for this!! I have gone thru the same thing. My ex was physically and mentally abusive. I’ve been in therapy to retrain myself and breathing techniques to help my process.. it’s hard for me bc hes my daughters father. He will never just go away.. but thank you for the story

    Reply
    1. Ali

      Thank you for your comment hun! I understand the struggle of not being able to physically remove a toxic person from your life. Just remember even in them still being around they will only have power over you if you give it. Stay strong and true to yourself !

      Reply

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